#8 The Archer and her Wolf
Chapter 23

Thea

I gasped and felt my face immediately heat up, no doubt turning fire-engine-red.

“Excuse me.” I snapped, ripping my hand away from his.

“It’s just a question, Thea.” He sighed again, staring at his now empty hand.

"Oh that is most definitely not just a question.” I huffed.

“But it is.” He argued.

“A very personal question, Xaiver.” I bit his name. He looked at me sideways.

“Well the impersonal ones aren’t any fun.” He said with a sly grin,

“Why do you want to know that?”

“You’re breaking the rules. Only one question at a time.” He said in a teasing tone, but I wasn’t in a playing mood.

“I’m serious, Xaiver. What does it matter?”

“I don’t know, I’m just curious.” He said nonchalantly, but I could tell he wasn’t being honest.

“Now who’s breaking the rules? That was a lie.” I accused him.

“It was not.” He argued.

“You want to know if I stayed pure for my mate, is that it? Or maybe you want some names for your hit list?” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him from the passenger seat. Xaiver had the nerve to laugh at me.

“No, that’s not it. I just want to know what…..Goddess, Thea. You’re a stranger to all of this. To the matebond, to dating, to emotions. I just wanted to know what other limits I have to be weary of. If you’re still a virgin, that changes things. I don’t want to rush you or push you too far.” Xaiver raked his hand through his hair in frustration, finally looking rattled.

“There’s this thing called asking, Xaiver. Consent is a beautiful thing.” I said, narrowing my eyes on him.

“I know that. Of course I’d ask before doing anything first. Hell, I asked before kissing you.” He pointed out and I nodded,

“I remember.” I said,

“It’s just something wolves discuss, Thea, it’s normal for us. You obviously know I’m not a virgin.” His face was scrunched up like he was in pain.

“Well, it’s not something I’d like to discuss.” I replied stubbornly.

“I wish I had waited.” He said suddenly and I felt my face soften a bit.

“What?”

“I wanted to wait, that was always the plan. I never wanted to sleep with anyone other than my mate. I told Summer that, when we were dating, before we turned 18. We never did anything back then and I haven’t done anything since Logan was conceived. She knew how important it was to me, that’s one of the reasons she was so sure I would make her my chosen mate after she got pregnant with Logan. She was trying to trap me.” Xaiver stared out the car window as he spoke, his face as hard as stone.

I felt myself beginning to feel sorry for Xaiver and heartbroken over how he was treated by a woman he once trusted. A woman who took away his rights and violated him when he was too drunk to know better.

“I’m so sorry that she did that to you, Xaiver.” I said compassionately.

Xaiver blinked and his face relaxed. He looked at me briefly and smiled,

“Thank you.” He said, “Maybe that’s one of the reasons I wanted to know. I wish that I could be a virgin for you, Thea. It might sound silly, but it was important to me. I wanted you to be my one and only.” His face was so raw with emotion that it made me feel uncomfortable.

“It didn’t occur to me.” I stated and Xaiver’s eyebrow went up in question, “The idea of waiting or not waiting, or what I would’ve wanted from a mate. I never really thought about it. I’m not the jealous type and I didn’t want a mate in the first place. So, I guess I mean to say that, I’m not bothered that you didn’t wait.” I mumbled.

“And I wouldn’t be upset if you didn’t wait, either. I was just curious. You don’t have to answer.” Xaiver said,

Hereached across the car again, asking for my hand back. I accepted and felt myself sigh as his thumb circled the top of my hand.

“I have another question.” I said and Xaiver nodded,

“I’m an open book, love.” He smiled, his face returning to normal.

“What did you expect when you thought about a life with your mate? Before you met me?” I asked shyly.

Looking at our hands instead of his face, I heard him sigh. He tugged at my arm to get my attention.

“Look here, Thea.” I glanced up through my heavy eyelashes to replace him looking at me intently. Once he caught my gaze, his eyes flashed back to the road.

“You have to answer honestly.” I reminded him and he chuckled.

“Honestly, I didn’t have many expectations. I just wanted to replace a woman to share my life with. I thought she would be beautiful and perfect, exactly right for me. I trusted in the Moon Goddess to give me a mate that I needed, even if it wasn’t what I thought I wanted, so I never dreamt up a mate. I didn’t think about what she would look like or her personality. I just wanted someone with whom I could share my life with.”

I could tell that he was speaking from the heart, the sincerity of his words made it impossible for me to look away from his face,

“I suppose the one expectation I did have was for her to be good with my son.” He added.

“And what do you think of the Moon Goddess now?” I asked, breaking the rules again and asking a second question.

“Never trusted her more.” He grinned widely and I couldn’t help but smile back. It was a small, timid smile, but it was a smile, nonetheless.

“And you? How did you see your future before me?” He asked and, just like that, the smile snapped off my face.

“You don’t want to know.” I grumbled.

“I really do.” Xaiver argued.

“I only ever saw what I am now, an Archer. I would be an Archer for as long as I could, and then an instructor or a trainer. Maybe I would run a Warrior pack of my own one day. I didn’t imagine a mate, children, or settling down. It was and always has been just this life, missions and battles and training.” I answered in a flat tone.

“And now?” He asked, seeming unfazed by my answer.

“It’s only been two days, Xaiver. You asked me to give you a chance and I agreed, but I hope you didn’t expect to change my mind in two days.” I smirked at him and he shrugged,

“A guy can dream.” He said,

“What kind of future do you want?” I asked.

“One with you.” He replied immediately. I frowned,

“I’m serious.”

“So am I.” He said, but, at my glare, he continued, “But, I see a Luna ceremony and a wedding, I’d want to make you my wife, as well. Then, I see a honeymoon. A very long honeymoon. We learn how to run the pack together. Lots of children, of course.” His eyes sort of glazed over as he spoke, a euphoric look on his face.

It was then that I knew, I absolutely knew, that I could never accept this man as my mate. I could never condone him to the life I needed to live. I could never hurt him or deprive him of any of his wishes. My heart, a heart I didn’t even know was beating, shattered at my feet as I realized that I had no choice but to let him go. I released his hand and pressed my lips together in a firm frown, going back to staring out the window.

“Have I said something wrong?” Xaiver asked. I shook my head, biting my lip to keep any emotions from escaping.

“I just don’t want to play anymore.” I said in a quiet tone.

Xaiver didn’t reply or reach for my hand again for the rest of our drive. Four hours later, we pulled up to the hotel. Xaiver unloaded our overnight bags and led the way inside. I disappeared inside my private room, shutting Xaiver out.