Alana looked out the small window of the room she shared with Hesta. One year. She had been at Adamnar stronghold for one year. She kept track of the time by the Ranger candidacy tests she had watched since she arrived. There had been one the day after she arrived and they ran once every five months. Tomorrow would be the fourth candidacy trial she would watch and not participate in. Fifteen months—one full year.

In that year she had done every chore imaginable and some that she had not imagined. And in that time she had seen Lord Berol possibly a handful of times—less than she saw her Uncle Iliard. She sometimes wondered if he was avoiding her.

“Hey silly, you’d better hurry up. You don’t want to miss breakfast.” Hesta’s overly cheerful voice went through Alana’s head like a spike. She really didn’t want to go over to the dining hall with her. Ferris had been right. Hesta was odd. She spent an inordinately long time primping herself in the morning. Yet, as far as Alana could tell, she didn’t have a particular boy for whom she was primping. She was also overly attached to Alana. Hesta would often take her hand to drag her someplace she didn’t particularly want to go, and would get pouty and whiny when Alana objected. There were times when Alana would literally hide just to avoid her.

“Go on ahead, Hesta,” Alana said without turning around, “I’ll be there in a little bit.”

“Oh come on,” she whined, her big blue eyes widening with dismay, “We always have breakfast together.”

Alana whirled around and said curtly, “I’m not in the mood right now. Go on without me.”

Hesta stepped back a pace and blinked with shock. Her bottom lip began to quiver and she said softly, “All right, you don’t have to yell at me. I’ll go.” She turned a flounced out the room, her long auburn curls bouncing behind her.

Alana almost felt bad enough to go after her to apologize, but she knew better now. Hesta was very good at getting her way by acting like the wounded doe. Too many times Alana had fallen for the act only to have Hesta instantly spring out of her gloom the moment she got what she wanted.

She closed the door and went to sit on her bed. How much longer would she have to do this? For the entire time she had been at the stronghold, she done everything that had been asked of her. In fact, she did better than she was told and some the other workers resented her because she made them look bad. Porter had gotten to the point where he was asking her to do things that no one had ever done just because, according to Ferris, she made him feel like a lazy lout every time he saw her.

Alana shook her head. Ferris was still a mystery to her. He was obviously intelligent and was capable of far more than he was doing. He pretty much ran the scullery service with minimal input from Porter. But if Alana mentioned this to him, he just shrugged it off and wouldn’t accept her compliment.

She sighed and got up. She might as well get going. Today was one of those days that Porter had decided to set her to doing another unreasonable task. Today she had to ‘clean the arbor skylight’ as Porter had put it. Before she had come to Adamnar, the arboretum roof hadn’t been cleaned in years. No one liked getting into the harness and climbing around on the slippery glass. Alana didn’t like it much it either, but it didn’t scare her like it did most people. So now she was given the task at least once month, sometimes more if Porter was in bad mood.

Alana wolfed down her breakfast, studiously ignoring Hesta’s reproachful gaze. She wanted to get done with the arboretum roof as soon as possible so she could get a ride in during lunch. After breakfast she went to the scullery supply closet and got out the harness, ropes, water skins and rags she needed for the task. She filled the water skins at the pump outside, then made her way up to the attic, through the trap door and out onto the roof.

She didn’t have any trouble walking across the roof, but she always tied on before she stepped onto the glass. She cursed under her breath. Apparently an entire flock of birds had decided to fly over the skylight recently. She was more than halfway done when she heard, “Alana! What in all the hells are you doing up there?!”

She was so startled to hear Lord Berol’s voice that she dropped her rag and her feet slipped on the wet glass. She had to grab onto the rope to prevent herself from sliding all the way down off the roof. It would have been quite embarrassing to be dangling from a harness in front of the lord of the stronghold. Alana took a deep breath to try to calm her racing heart and turned to look down at Lord Berol. “I’m cleaning the Arboretum skylight, my lord,” she said breathlessly.

“Cleaning the…who…” he stopped for a moment and clenched his jaw. He let out a slow breath and continued, “Alana, who is your supervisor?”

“Tannis Porter, my lord,” she replied.

Alana could have sworn she heard Lord Berol growl. He looked up at her and said, “Please come down now.”

“But I’m not finished,” she said.

His eyes widened and then his lips compressed to a thin line. “Alana, please come down off the roof now.” His voice was firm and brooked no refusal.

“Yes my lord,” she replied. Alana gathered up her supplies and climbed back up to the top of the roof and back through the trap door to the attic. After she put everything away, she was at a loss as to what to do. What was she going to tell Porter? Would he even believe her when she told him that Lord Berol had ordered her off the roof? Then it hit her. Lord Berol was angry that she was on the roof. That meant he was probably going to be angry with Porter. She groaned aloud. If she thought her life was hell before this, it was going to be ten times worse if Porter got in trouble because of her.

“Damn, damn, damn,” she muttered. Maybe if she hurried, she could replace Lord Berol and talk to him before he talked to Porter. She was so engrossed in what she was thinking that she wasn’t looking where she was going and ran right into a young man walking down the hallway.

“Hey! Watch it!” he said angrily as he grabbed her arm.

“I’m sorry,” Alana said as she tried to back away from him.

He tightened his grip on her arm. “Hold on a minute, I know you. Aren’t you Hesta’s girl?”

Alana frowned in confusion. “Hesta’s girl? I’m her roommate, if that’s you mean.”

“Yeah right,” he sneered.

She tried to pull her arm out of his grasp, but he wouldn’t let go. “Look, I’m sorry I ran into you, now let me go.”

“You know,” he said thoughtfully, ignoring her protest, “You’re really pretty. Maybe if you didn’t walk around in boy’s clothes all the time, you’d get more boys coming after you.” He pulled her closer. “And maybe you just need somebody to show you what a real man can do for you. Then maybe you wouldn’t be giving yourself to some rholar bitch.”

Alana’s dagger was in her hand and pressed against the young man’s abdomen almost before she realized it. “Take. Your. Hand. Off. Me,” she growled. When he didn’t react right away she pressed just a little bit harder. “Now.”

He looked down at the dagger in her hand and then at her, his eyes wide with shock. He let go of her arm like she had burned him and backed slowly away from her. “You crazy bitch! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Nothing that you can fix, you piece of filth,” Alana snarled. “Now get away from me before I show you just how crazy I am.” She kept her eyes on him until he rounded the corner. She waited a few more minutes just to make sure he wasn’t coming back, then she sheathed her dagger, leaned up against the wall, and slowly slid down to the floor. She put her head in her hands. The day had just gotten worse.

“Alana?”

She started at the sound of Ferris’ voice so near to her. She looked up at him and said, “Ferris, I didn’t hear you coming.”

“Are you all right?” he asked.

She shook her head. “I don’t know. It’s been a very strange day.”

“No kidding,” he responded. “I heard Lord Berol in Lord Vistor office giving him hell about something and your name came up.”

“Great. Now I got Lord Vistor in trouble. This day just gets better and better.”

“What happened?” he asked.

Alana told him about the incident on the roof and then she told him about the boy in the hallway. “What does rholar mean?”

Ferris was still trying to get over the fact that she pulled a dagger on someone, so it took him a moment to reply. “Well,” he began, “rholar is what people call other people who lay with someone who’s the same sex.”

Alana chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to process that bit of information. “How…? I don’t understand. How is that possible?”

Ferris looked at her in surprise and then chuckled softly. “You’re still a virgin, aren’t you?”

Alana blushed to the roots of her hair. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“It’s all right,” he said with a rueful laugh, “I am too, although it’s not for lack of trying.” He sat down next to her. “Some people are just made differently and they love different people, that’s all.”

“I guess,” she said. “But I still don’t understand how that works.”

“You will someday,” he said.

She looked over at him. “Ferris, how old are you?”

“Twenty-four. Why?”

“You know a lot, that’s all,” she answered.

“I read a lot when I can get away from Porter. I don’t have much else to do.”

“So what do I do about Lord Berol?” Alana asked. “If Porter gets in trouble because of me, he’s going to make my life hell.”

Ferris nodded thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I’ll try to distract him. Maybe Lord Berol won’t talk to him personally. Maybe he’ll just send Lord Vistor. Why don’t you get out of here for a while? Go clean the female trainee’s barracks. That’s clear on the other side of the stronghold.”

“All right,” Alana said a bit reluctantly. She didn’t really like cleaning the trainee barracks because one of the trainees had taken a dislike to her for no apparent reason and she always gave Alana a hard time.

The sound of raised voices drifted over to them from around the corner and down the stairs. Alana and Ferris recognized the voices of Lord Berol, Lord Vistor and Porter. “Uh oh,” Ferris said. “That’s not good. Porter was drinking all last night and he had a bad headache this morning.”

“It’s sounds like he’s yelling at them,” Alana said in disbelief.

Ferris’ shoulders slumped. “Yeah. Now he’ll be sacked and I’ll be out of a job.”

“Why would you be out of a job?” she asked.

“Because Porter’s the only one who’ll have me,” Ferris replied. “I can’t do any heavy lifting and if I’m on my feet too long, my leg gives out and I’m laid up for days.”

“But you can read and write,” Alana said. “That’s got to be worth something to someone here.”

He shrugged. “Maybe. When I first got here, no one had any work for me but Porter.”

The yelling suddenly stopped and they heard Lord Berol speaking in a low, clipped voice. Alana looked over at Ferris. “I know that tone,” she said quietly. “Porter’s just gotten himself sacked.”

Ferris leaned his head back against the wall. “Damn.” He struggled to his feet. “I’d better go get my things from the office.”

Alana stood as well. “I’ll go with you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” he said.

“I want to.”

“Suit yourself.”

They descended the stairs in time to see Porter leaving the Scullery Service office. Alana realized that, before today, she had never seen Porter anywhere but behind his desk and its mountain of trash. She was shocked at how thin the man was. He walked with a shuffling step and she could see, even from where she was standing, that his hands were shaking. “What will happen to him now?” she whispered to Ferris.

Ferris watched Porter walk away. “I don’t know. This is all he’s known for years and years. I think he’ll just drink himself to death.”

Alana gasped. “Isn’t there something that can be done?”

Ferris shook his head. “He couldn’t ever get off the drink, no matter what anyone said. I even warned him it would get him sacked one day. He didn’t care—he couldn’t stop.”

Lord Berol came out of the office and noticed Alana and Ferris standing there. “Ah Alana, it’s good to see you back on the ground. Were you looking for me?”

“No, my lord,” she replied. “I was just helping Ferris.”

Lord Berol focused his gaze on the young man. “So you’re Ferris. Lord Vistor wants to talk to you.”

Although Alana hadn’t thought it possible, Ferris’ face got paler. “Me? I…”

“Ferris you little gimp, where’s Porter!” They turned to see the young man who had accosted Alana in the hallway striding toward them.

“He’s not here, Ham,” Ferris replied.

“When’s he coming back?” Ham demanded.

“He isn’t coming back,” Lord Berol replied tersely. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Ham hesitated for a moment, then pointed at Alana and said, “That crazy b…wench pulled a knife on me!”

Lord Berol’s eyebrows rose and he glanced at Alana. “Really? Why would she do something like that?”

“Because she’s crazy that’s why,” Ham replied.

Lord Berol trained a steady gaze on Ham. “So, you’re saying Alana just walked up to you and pointed a dagger at you out of thin air with no provocation from you.”

“I…well yes,” he finished lamely.

The Ranger Lord turned to Alana and asked, “Is this true Alana?”

Alana, who had been biting her lip the whole time, took a deep breath to steady herself before she replied. “It’s true,” she began, “I did pull a dagger on him. He had his hand on me and wouldn’t let go even after I told him to let me go.”

“I see,” he said flatly. His gaze traveled back to Ham. “Well?”

“It was all in good fun,” Ham blustered. “I was just joking with her.”

“Joking,” Berol repeated. “I have to tell you, Ham, I don’t replace jokes like that particularly funny. If a woman tells you to take your hand off her, you take your hand off her. Now,” he continued, “Since I am not in the right frame of mind to deal fairly with you, I will leave this problem in Lord Vistor’s hands. You may go.” As Ham turned to leave, Lord Berol added, “I will tell you this much Ham, as long as you work for me—and make no mistake, you do work for me—you will never put your hands on a woman without her permission. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes my lord,” he murmured. After Ham was out of sight, Lord Berol said to Ferris, “Please go in to see Lord Vistor. And tell him I would like to see him in my office when he’s done here.” Ferris nodded silently and went into Porter’s former office. Lord Berol closed the door behind Ferris and turned to face Alana. “Do you think there was any other way you could have handled the situation with Ham?”

Alana frowned and thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know. I suppose I could have swept his feet out from under him, but he had a good grip on me and I probably would have gone down with him.” She paused. “I could have hit him, but he had me in close and I wouldn’t have been able to hit him with enough force to have any effect.”

“What about calling for help?” he asked.

Alana’s brows rose. “From who? We were alone in the back hallway by the attic stairs.” Her eyes went wide when she realized how she sounded. “I’m sorry my lord. I didn’t mean to talk to you like that.”

Lord Berol smiled. “That’s quite all right. But I must ask you to please take care with that dagger. It is a formidable weapon. You could hurt someone very badly without meaning to.”

“I will my lord,” replied.

He nodded. “All right. Well, I have to see to Porter’s pension and living quarters.” Noting Alana’s surprised look he said, “Porter’s been here for more than thirty years. I couldn’t just throw him out of the stronghold. This is his home. He will have a home here until he dies.” A brief look of regret crossed his face. “Unfortunately, I don’t think that will be long in coming.”

As she watched him walk away, Alana realized that she had found someone that she admired almost as much as her uncle Iliard.

The rest of Alana’s day was much quieter. She went to clean the female trainee’s barracks which were thankfully empty. She took her time getting back to her room and going over to the dining hall for dinner because she wanted to avoid Hesta. After her conversation with Ferris, Alana started to put the pieces together and realized that Hesta was attracted to her. She had no idea what to do about that.

She decided to ask Ferris if he wanted to go to the dining hall with her. She went by the Scullery Service office and found Ferris there cleaning out Porter’s desk. The rest of the room had already been cleaned and it sparkled. “Ferris it looks great in here,” she said. “I guess Lord Vistor let you keep your job?”

Ferris looked up from his task and said with a broad smile, “Even better. He asked me to be his assistant.”

Alana’s jaw dropped. “That’s wonderful! I didn’t know he had an assistant other than Ula.

The young man’s face turned bright red. “He didn’t—until now. He said he was very impressed by the way I kept things running in spite of Porter. He said he should have known things were bad here, but he was too busy and didn’t have time to pay attention to everything. Now he’s going to use me to check on all the departments to make sure things are running smoothly.”

“That’s great,” Alana said. She frowned thoughtfully. “What about your leg? Won’t that be an awful lot of walking for you?”

“That’s the other thing,” Ferris replied, his eye alight with excitement. “Lord Vistor said that some of my weakness is because I don’t use my muscles enough. Since I can’t run or do regular exercises, he’s going to have someone work with me to teach me how to ride a horse and also show me ways to make my arms and back stronger.”

Alana smiled. “I’m really happy for you. I’m glad Lord Vistor saw what a good worker you are.”

“And it wouldn’t have happened if Lord Berol hadn’t seen you on the roof,” Ferris said with a smile.

Alana chuckled. “I guess not.”

“Did you need something?” Ferris asked after a few moments of silence.

Embarrassed now, Alana said, “I was wondering if you would come to the dining hall with me. Hesta has been looking for me all day and I’ve been avoiding her. I don’t know what to do about her.”

“Do you want to move to a different room?”

Alana sighed. “Probably. I think she really thinks there’s something between us.”

Ferris nodded. “All right. I’m sort of in charge here until Lord Vistor brings in Porter’s replacement. We can move your room tomorrow. It’s your day of rest anyway.”

“Thanks,” she said with a sigh of relief.

“You know you’re going to have to talk to her eventually,” Ferris said.

“I know,” she replied reluctantly.

“Come on,” he said, “Let’s get some dinner. I’m hungry after all this excitement.”

Dinner was awkward with Hesta staring at them with tear filled eyes from across the table. After dinner Alana bolted out of the dining hall and went for a long walk around the stronghold. It was only after she finally returned to her room late that night and was getting ready for bed that realized that Lord Berol had once again said nothing about her taking the candidacy test.

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