Beauty and His Beast [MxM] (UNEDITED) -
Chapter 7
Ares POV
I could feel the doubt emanating off him even as he stood in front of me, undressing me. Even as his fingers caressed my skin, I felt that question filling his head..
Should we be doing this?
For some reason, his doubt in us hurt me more than I had ever imagined. His reluctance to touch me the way I knew he desired and wanted, pierced through me as a spear would.
I walked backwards pulling him with me until I felt myself fall down onto my bed. I pulled him down against me and connected our mouths and even as I drove my tongue into his mouth, I felt him holding back and that infuriated me
All I wanted was for him to want me. To desire me and to destroy me the way I knew he did in his mind each time he laid eyes on me.
And yet here he was, standing in front of me and yet it felt like he was on the other side of the border. Like he couldn't reach me, and I had no idea what was more frustrating. The fact that I didn't know what to do to make him understand that this was okay, or the fact that something inside me was telling me that some part of him didn't want this.
I moved my mouth away from his and looked into his eyes. His silver ones staring back down at me, as I searched them for any indication of my being wrong and felt my heart rip and shatter when he looked down at me with those eyes. Those eyes that told me what he really wanted and yet he refused to act on it.
"Get off me" I whispered and felt his weight lift off me as he rolled off me and sat on the edge of my bed.
I looked at his back as he sat there with his face in his hands, and wanted nothing more than to just crawl to him and hold him. To wrap my arms around him and make him feel what I felt now.
To show him that I wanted this as much as he did. That I wanted so much more than just something physical with him. That I wanted to build my future with him. That I wanted to raise my children alongside him.
"Do you love me? Did you ever?" I asked in a whisper, so soft I barely heard myself. He didn't answer, which only made me want to crawl into a corner and hide for rest of eternity.
"You know I do. But it isn't that simple Ares" he whispered back, still not turning to face me.
"Then simplify it for me." I replied and got up.
I walked around and stood in front of him. Standing there half bare, still seemed to have no effect on him as he looked down at the ground.
"I know that, saying I'm not enough won't settle with you and I know you're the type of person who won't rest until you get an explanation." He whispered as he slowly lifted his head and looked into my eyes.
"I love you Ares, I really do. And you know that. But do you honestly think that 'love' will be enough in this world we live in?" He said as he took my hands in his and raised them to his lips.
"Power and wealth is what keeps you alive and I don't have that. I don't want to ever put you in that position of ever having to choose between me and your kingdom and people, and I know that is what will happen." He said as he slowly stood up and took a step towards me, his chest touching mine.
"Perusing my feelings for you, will put you in more danger than we could have ever imagined. The wrath of all the pureblood princes that have been promised a meeting with you, will rain down upon you and before we know it, this kingdom will turn into a bloodbath." He added and held the sides of my face as I felt that knot in my throat.
I didn't trust myself to reply and answer him without breaking down and I couldn't do that to him. Not when I could see and feel how strong he was trying to be and it was only when I saw those tears fall and roll down his cheeks did I realize how he had been suffering.
I was so consumed by my feelings for him and what I wanted that I failed to see what he was going through.
"I know." I whispered and felt that knot finally break as my tears rolled down my face .
I looked down and lifted my hands, holding them against his as I lowered my head and rested it against his chest. I felt him sigh as he pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around me.
"I wished a thousand times that we could have been together." He whispered as he pressed a kiss against the top of my head and held me tightly against his firm muscular body.
"So do I." I replied and sniffed as my tears soaked his clothing.
We stood there, for what felt like hours, just holding each other. The pain from each of our chests hitting the other as we said nothing. Neither of us knowing what to say that would lessen the pain, if that was even possible.
I had no idea how to put into words the pain of knowing what you had wished and hoped for all your life had been ripped through your fingers just when you thought you finally had it.
I felt angry and frustrated at the fact that I couldn't do anything about it. I was supposed to be the most powerful prince in all the kingdoms, being the only pureblood born at a time when all the kingdoms were cursed, and yet I couldn't do anything when it mattered the most. All I could do was watch the love of my life leave me.
I tried so hard, not to cling onto him when he removed his hands from and took a step back from me. I lowered my eyes to the ground and saw my tears touch the marble floor beneath me.
"So this is it? You're leaving me" I whispered, knowing he could hear me.
"Ares, you know that I will never leave you. We just cannot do this" he answered and I nodded to that, knowing I would break down if I had to verbally respond.
"Ares I'm sorry." He added.
"I know."
Even as he left my room and closed the door, I still felt pain pierce my insides, making it feel like I was slowly being suffocated. I could feel the pain spreading throughout my body and I had to sit down on my bed when it felt like I couldn't breathe anymore.
I placed my hand above my chest and gripped the garment I had thrown on when he left. I let out a shaky breath and closed my eyes, letting the tears roll down my face as I breathed, whispering to myself..
"You're going to be okay. One day, some one will love you"
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