Children of Chaos - Book 1
9th Memory

“I would wonder, sometimes, if any of it was real... Or if I just made it up in my head.”

“Maybe, it was a bit of both.”

I woke up to the gentle sensation of fingers caressing my hair, moving it out of my face gently. I hummed in appreciation, snuggling closer, my eyes still firmly shut. Khai chuckled.

“Good morning my love.”

“Mm…Morning”, I mumbled, still not ready to open my eyes and face the world, feeling perfectly content. “What are you doing here?”

“What? Not happy to see me?” he teased, his fingers resting in their movement. I made a pouty face and he chuckled again, resuming his caress. “Can a boyfriend not sneak into his girlfriend’s tent to wake her up with a kiss?”

“Hmm… I think he can, although where is that kissing you talked about?”

He bent down and gently kissed me on my forehead, his lips stretching into a smile.

“There.”

“What about my lips?” I asked, pursing said lips, raising my face towards his voice.

He laughed and placed two fingers on my pursed lips.

“Nope. You’re lovely in the morning, but I’m afraid I can’t say the same about your breath.”

My eyes flew open as I blushed in embarrassment.

“Hey!”

I whacked him with a pillow. He just laughed and got up.

“Get up and ready, my love. We have a whole day planned and it would be a shame if you missed it.”

Then he disappeared out of the tent as I looked after him, a soft smile on my lips. One year ago, I had thought my life was over, and now? Well now, I would not go back for anything.

“Have I ever told you the story of the Lost City? “, Khai asked, his thumb absentmindedly tracing circles on my calloused palm as we walked towards the open desert. It was just a little past midday and the sun was high in the sky, shining down mercilessly upon us. I appreciated being allowed to sleep in, a rare occurrence, but I did not particularly enjoy the heat of the midday sun, Khai, however, had insisted. Apparently, whatever he wanted to show me was time specific.

I shook my head, bumping his shoulder with mine. He chuckled and brushed some of my hair out of my face.

“Do you want to hear it?”

I nodded as I closed my eyes and tilted my head towards the sun, letting him lead me. Despite the midday heat and sand being absolutely everywhere, I loved living in the desert where the sun was never too far away. My skin, always light back at the Reservoir, had darkened by several shades, making my green eyes stand out vividly in my tan face.

“Well, then let’s do this right.”

I looked up at him in confusion. He suddenly sounded so serious.

“I’m going to tell the story as my Grandmother told it to me and as it’s been told by all Shemsuddin through the ages.”

I chuckled and he winked at me. He knew that I loved Gamma’s stories.

“In the beginning, there were only Ahriman and Surya. Ahriman, ruler of all that was dark, chaotic and dead. Surya, ruler of all that was light, order and life.”

“Ereb and Shinehah,” I muttered as a reminder to myself. It was so confusing, sometimes, trying to understand the faith of the Shemsuddin. Not seven gods, but only one Goddess, and a sort of Anti-God.

Khai nodded and then continued.

“In the beginning, it was just them, constantly at war. Order against chaos, light against darkness, neither of them overcoming the other. But Surya saw a way for light and darkness, order and disorder to coexist. She proposed to Ahriman that they create a world, splitting it evenly between the two of them. And so they separated, creating night and day. Surya desired there to be lights to distinguish day from night and so she formed the sun to illuminate the day, and the moon and the stars to give guidance during the darkness. Then Surya formed the earth, covering it with water and land and surrounded it with her own breath to give it life. From her breath came air and with it all forms of vegetation and animals. Finally, Surya and Ahriman, together, created humanity in their own image, a balance of chaos and order, crowning their creation. Ahriman gave humanity death, disease, pain, fear, and hatred but also creativity and carelessness. Surya created the ability to give life, the ability to heal, to comfort, to be courageous and to love, to structure and to obey, and thus there was a balance of all things.

Surya was so pleased with her creation that she wished to remain amongst her children forever. She created the Golden City, her home and place of power upon the earth. In her Golden City, Surya ruled for many centuries, beloved by all people, and constantly gaining in power. Soon, however, the balance of things began to shift, for Ahriman was by nature incapable remaining the same, his very essence rejecting the rules set by Surya. Chaos began to take over upon the earth and humanity fell quickly into its lure, relishing in the darker parts of its existence.

Surya, saddened by the choices her children were making and worried by Ahriman’s growing influence, decided to go to battle against Chaos itself. But she was worried about the impact her decision would have on her precious children. Therefore, she created a vessel, larger than her own Golden City. Upon it, she gathered all the animals of the earth and all sort of vegetation. Then she went forth unto her children, warning them, begging them to seek shelter, but Ahriman’s influence had infected the minds of her children, making them incapable of seeing reason and only few would listen. Those who listened sought shelter within the vessel, the others remained without, their heads held high in foolish pride and wickedness. With a heavy heart, Surya left her stubborn children to their fate. She lured Ahriman into her City of Gold and then she attacked.

The two God’s clashed and the collision was so great that the entire earth shook, causing the waters of the earth to rise and swallow every inch of land upon its surface, taking with it the lives of all those who had not been upon the vessel created by Surya.

The two deities were equal in strength and for seven years they fought, neither gaining the upper hand. Surya realized that if they continued in this matter, the world would never see peace, her children would live on their floating vessel forever, and the earth, built for their sakes, would never fulfil its purpose. Therefore, she stopped fighting and spoke to Ahriman.

‘Ahriman’ she spoke, her voice hoarse, for she had not spoken in all those years of fighting, ‘our children float on a vessel and our world goes to waste. Won’t we end this fighting?’

And Ahriman, tired of the constant fighting, responded ‘Surya. How can we? For I am Chaos and you are Order, and it is not in my nature to abide by rules.’

Therefore, they were at an impasse. Neither of them wishing to continue and neither of them capable of stopping. But Surya is wise, and in her wisdom, she realized that the only way their children could be happy is if they were free to choose their own way, without her or Ahriman influencing them.

‘This city’, she spoke to Ahriman, ‘is full of our combined power. Let us lock it away and ourselves with it. Herein we can remain. You Chaos and I Order and our children must never suffer again. We will watch over them from within this Golden City, but we shall never directly touch their lives, leaving them to choose for themselves.’

Ahriman, knowing that it was the only way for his children to thrive, agreed and so they created a barrier between the Golden City and the world. They watched as the waters receded, as the land became habitable again, as their children spread far and wide and returned the earth to its former glory. Sometimes there was war, sometimes there was peace and so there was a balance. ”

Khai’s voice drifted off as we walked further into the desert, leaving the village far behind us. The story I had been taught to believe at the Reservoir, was so different.

“I was taught”, I finally said, “that Shinehah wanted to rule the entire world and turned against the other Gods, taking up with Ereb. I was taught that the flood was caused by Shinehah and Ereb and that Mayim, our water Goddess, protected the children of the Six, while the children of Shinehah perished. In our version, Shinehah and Ereb took over the City of the Gods and sealed it in order to keep all its power. The Six then banished the City into the Otherworld, creating seals of their own, which in return layered the path to the Otherworld.”

“It’s fascinating, don’t you think, that our stories are so similar and yet so different. In our story, there is no bad guy, just two opposites that could have destroyed the world and decided that they would rather suffer themselves than to see their children perish.”

“I think I like yours better if I’m honest.”

I grinned at him and he laughed.

“So do I.”

“So. Not that I didn’t enjoy that story, very much, but ... Well, where on earth are we heading? We’ve been going for hours and all I’ve seen so far is sand, sand and well... more sand.”

He poked my side, making me squeal and jump away.

“You know that patience is not a virtue you possess, right?” he teased, making me stick out my tongue at him. Perhaps not particularly mature, but effective enough. I open my mouth to say something, but he continued before I could.

“Besides, we’re here.”

Here, it seems, was the top of a dune from which there was a glorious view of...sand.

“Uhm...Khai? If you wanted to show me sand, then we really could have stayed at the village. They have some there, you know.”

He rolled his eyes and took my hand.

“Look at it, do you notice something?”

Oh, oh, noticing things. That was never really one of my strengths, but I was willing to give it a shot. I looked back over the dunes stretched out bellow us, trying to see something besides endless sand, but for the life of me, I couldn’t. Khai seemed to read as much on my face because he laughed and tucked me closer.

“This sand is different, lighter and finer than the typical Saharan sand.”

“Aha”, I said, because honestly? What else was there to say? We had walked for hours through the hot desert, talking about Gods and myths, so he could show me special sand. To say I was underwhelmed would have been a rather large exaggeration. I was about to say as much when I noticed something. A flicker of color. I turned back towards the dunes and caught my breath at the spectacle that was unfolding in front of me. The sun had begun to set, and what had moments ago been nothing but endless stretches of light sand, was now being transformed in front of my eyes into the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. The sand reflected the sun’s rays, beginning to shine in various shades of yellows, oranges, and reds, and all at once, the dunes were on fire. It was beautiful, breath-taking and I stared at it in absolute wonder, my heart clenching at the sight.

“That’s...” there were no words to describe the spectacle in front of me as the desert burned beneath the setting sun.

Khai squeezed my hand, understanding what I was trying to say, and I squeezed back, grateful for this incredible moment. We watched in silence as the sun sunk bellow the horizon, making room for the stars and taking its fire with it. Then we stood in silence as darkness settled upon us, as the last rays disappeared and the stars were the only light left to us.

“I’ve always loved the stars.”

My voice sounded too loud in the complete stillness of the moment, but I wanted to share this with him nonetheless. This childhood dream.

“I used to believe...when I was a kid and lived at home with Mom and Caleb...After my Dad died... I used to think that the stars were tiny little holes in the sky through wich we could see heaven. Sometimes, I still believe that. Sometimes I think they’re up there, looking through one of those millions and millions of holes, waving at me.”

A warm arm sneaks around my shoulders, pulling me close.

“I think you might be right.”

There was another silence, but this one felt heavy somehow, full with something I didn’t know how to place. I shifted my eyes from the stars to Khai and realized that he was looking at me. His eyes were dark in the night, and there was an expression on his face that I had never seen before. It was serious and made my heart beat faster in a strange mixture of fear and excitement. He stepped away from me, not a lot, but it caused my heart to race with some form of anticipation.

“Kyra?”

His voice sounded deeper, fuller somehow.

“Yes?” mine was barely a whisper.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you for a favor.”

“Ok.”

His smile is soft and sweet and strangely shy.

“I was hoping you’d marry me.”