Defiant: A Young Adult Dystopian Novel (Designed Book 2)
Defiant: Chapter 24

Our eyes were locked. His were darker than I’d ever seen them before, but they burned with an inner light, flickering black fire.

I was so out of breath it was a wonder I managed to make any sound.

“Yes. Kiss me, Elias.”

His head lowered, his mouth hovering just above mine for a second before making contact. And then his lips pressed against my lips, moving against them in a slow caress.

From the first moment I was in absolute pleasure-shock. His lips were soft, warm, perfect. What he did with them was perfect.

Excitement blasted through me, and my heart felt like it was about to burst. I lifted my hands and sank them into his soft, thick hair.

It felt just as good as I’d known it would all those times I’d looked at him and fought the urge to reach out and touch it.

I drew my fingertips down his face and over his strong cheekbones, then his jaw. Elias made a sort of growly sound and deepened the kiss, his tongue pushing past my lips.

Though I was surprised, my mouth opened to welcome him.

And wow.

How did you describe something you thought you’d understood but suddenly realized you had no idea about? My insides felt restless, energized. I wanted more contact.

Unable to keep myself from touching him, I put my palms against his tight abdomen. My heart rocketed, and my head was dizzy.

No texture had ever felt better than his skin, hot and smooth, stretched tautly over the segmented hardness underneath.

Elias seemed to enjoy my touch as well. His kiss turned stronger and deeper. He shifted his body, stretching out his legs and settling deeper against me, erasing the last inch of space between our bodies.

His weight on top of me felt amazing. The whole experience was amazing.

But it also brought back some unwanted memories.

Of Heath kissing me. Unwanted because those memories weren’t just poorly timed, they were pointless.

Heath had told me to move on and make a new life for myself here at the Haven. He’d said he could never be with me so I should forget about him.

Could I do that?

I was a little concerned that kissing Elias made me think of Heath—something I would not be mentioning to Elias, by the way.

Maybe it was only that I had so little experience with the whole romance thing. I was pretty sure things between Heath and me had never gone further than kissing.

On the other hand, things with Elias were heading that way—fast. If I didn’t say something soon, they might go very far indeed.

Which I wasn’t ready for—not tonight. If we got to the point where Elias considered me truly his, that would require a long term commitment.

And I didn’t actually know him that well. I’d only just discovered he was actually happy about becoming my champion and not resentful that I’d been the only choice left.

It was also possible that once I had the chance to explore the Haven and learn all about life here, I might not want to stay.

Basically, I needed a lot more information about the place—and about Elias—before I’d be ready to make a commitment.

I spread my hands on his chest, meaning to push him away, but that felt so good I considered drawing him closer.

No. We had to stop this before my mind quit working altogether and my body did what it wanted to do.

With difficulty, I managed to pull out of the kiss, feeling a bit drugged and noticing a surge of protest in my body.

Undaunted, Elias moved his mouth to my neck and started kissing a trail down to my chest. I placed a hand under his chin.

“Wait—Elias.”

He lifted his head, bringing his eyes up to meet mine. They were hazy, almost drunk looking. There was gentle concern in his voice, though.

“What is it? Does that not feel good?”

An involuntary laugh escaped me. “Uh… no. It feels amazing—all of it does.”

He smiled widely. “Then you’re gonna love what comes next. My friends with mates say their girls love it when they—”

I covered his lips with my fingertips, interrupting him. “Umm, you can tell me about that another time, okay? I think right now we need to stop while we’re ahead.”

“You want to stop?”

The disappointment was clear on his face. I knew he’d been waiting a long time for a mate of his own, and he was obviously ready for more.

“I must be doing something wrong,” he said.

“No,” I blurted. “No, I’m pretty sure you’re doing everything right. It’s just that this is all pretty new to me. I’m not even sure about what does come next. They didn’t even teach us about puberty in school, much less about sex. If I could maybe have some time… to get used to all the newness… to get to know you better?”

Now Elias nodded with a knowing expression. “I understand. I keep forgetting you’re a late bloomer. Take all the time you need.”

It was definitely the right thing to say, putting me at ease immediately, though I wasn’t sure how sincere it was. His body was still tense, the muscles charged with suppressed energy.

In fact, it seemed like stopping now was the very last thing Elias wanted to do.

But he rolled off me—with some apparent reluctance—and came to rest on his side, facing me with his hand resting on my abdomen.

Even that felt good. I was sort of sorry I’d asked him to stop now. Hopefully he wasn’t angry with me. He didn’t look mad, just… unsatisfied.

“Are you going to sleep in the other bed tonight?” I asked.

His expression turned alert, and he removed his hand. “Do you want me to?”

“No,” I said, and I meant it. I grabbed his wrist and drew his hand back to my body. “I like it better with you here. As long as that’s really what you want.”

“Sunshine, it’s only the beginning of what I want.”

He sighed and leaned in for a quick kiss. “But we’ll get to all of that in time. For now, let’s get some sleep.”

He rolled onto his back and pulled me against him so I was close to his side with my head in the juncture of his shoulder and chest.

“Is it okay if I hold you like this?” he asked.

I nodded against his chest. “Yes. This is nice. I like it.”

“Good. I like it too.” He stroked my hair, which felt wonderful.

His voice was a low rumble beneath my ear.

“Maybe when you meet the other girls—the ones with champions,” he said, “you could ask some questions, about, you know… what guys and girls do together. I mean, if you want, I could explain—”

Again I cut him off, feeling my cheeks heat. “No, that’s a good idea. I will. That would be useful… knowledge. I mean, in general, it’s good to know how things work—especially at my age.”

I was doing that nervous babbling thing again. My response must not have been what he expected, because the next thing he said didn’t sound quite as confident.

“Of course, if you don’t feel that way about me, you can always reject me as your champion and try again with the runner-up.”

“With Speck? Blech. No thank you.”

Elias laughed. “I didn’t mean him. You could just reject him after one quick meeting and start moving on down the line, replace someone you’re more attracted to.”

I moved my hand to his stomach and rubbed it in soothing circles. The contrast of hot, smooth skin over firm muscle was tantalizing.

“I didn’t stop you because I wasn’t attracted to you Elias,” I assured him. “I definitely am.”

His arm around my back tightened a bit.

“I’m not sure exactly what feeling ‘that way’ is even supposed to feel like… but I’m pretty sure I do,” I said.

His jaw shifted above me as he smiled. “Good.”

Elias’ hand came to his abdomen and covered mine. He played with my fingers gently there as his other hand sifted through my hair.

We were both quiet for a few minutes before I broke the silence.

“Elias?”

I thought he might have already dropped off to sleep because it took him a second to respond.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you bring in a second bed if you like sleeping together?”

His chest moved in a huff of a laugh under my cheek.

“I didn’t want to pressure you. I know the whole Choosing ceremony makes it feel like it’s inevitable, but I didn’t want you to feel like you had to do anything you didn’t want to do just because I’m your champion.”

Leaning down, he pressed a warm kiss to my forehead. “And also because I like sleeping in the same bed with you a little too much.”

I lifted my head to get a look at his face. “Too much? How can you like something too much?”

Using his fingertips, he pressed my face gently back to his chest, resting his chin on top of my head.

“Until you understand why and feel that way yourself—and get a little more information from the girls—it probably is best for us to wait. Although I already feel like I’ve been waiting a lifetime.”

“Because you secretly wanted to compete in the games before and have a girl of your own?”

“No. I told you there was no one I wanted before you,” he said. “I meant I’ve been waiting for you since that day months ago when I saw you there in the water. I thought you were the most exquisite thing I’d ever seen in my life. I wanted you instantly.”

It took me a few minutes, but when I let my mind drift back to that day, I recalled one important, scandalous detail.

“I was naked!”

Elias gave me a rascally grin. “Yes. You. Were.”

He raised his free hand, holding his first finger and thumb and inch apart in the air.

“A small part of me was worried about your injury, but I have to admit the larger part was just a total horndog. I’d never seen a naked girl before.”

Pausing a beat, he added, “I’m very much looking forward to the day I get to see one again.”

My heart, which had finally begun to settle into a steady rhythm, stirred with excitement again, and my body warmed.

“Just any girl?” I asked, using the closest thing I’d ever attempted to a seductive tone.

“Only one,” Elias clarified and let out a frustrated sounding growl as he kissed my mouth again.

“Tell you what,” he said as he pulled away and sighed. “I’ve just about hit my limit in the self control department, so unless you want to pick up where we left off—or tell me to go back to my own bed—you’d better roll over and go to sleep now.”

He gave my bottom a light tap, and I let out a little squeak-laugh before rolling over. As usual, Elias wrapped an arm around me and nuzzled his face into my hair as he settled in and got comfortable.

“You smell like wildflowers,” he said in a low murmur.

“Thanks to you. Sending that flower-bath was very nice of you, by the way.”

I was quiet for a few seconds, but there was something I had to say before we both dropped off to sleep.

“Elias?”

He lifted his head. “Yeah?”

“I’m glad you won me.”

He pressed a soft kiss to my cheek.

“Me too. Good night, Sunshine.”