Endless abyss of unspoken words (Poetry)
Poem 11 - Bittersweet

I'd do my best to be picture-perfect,

It seems that it's the opposite effect,

Why can't I be the person I've wanted to be?

Words can't even describe how I feel,

So lonely and easily attached,

But always end up hurt,

I've wanted to be perfect for everyone,

So why doesn't anyone appreciate it?

I've wanted someone to love me,

But all you do is break me,

I'm always there for everyone,

So why is no one for me?

Mistreat me, hurt me, it's all fine,

Because the fault is always mine,

I don't want to be lonely again,

So I beg you to be in my life,

But I know that you can't stay.

I will get attached, treat me every way,

Hurt me, break my trust, get my lust,

I will be the person who'll love you the most,

But you'll still forget me one day.

You'll soon stop appreciating me,

You'll soon start accepting I'm always there,

You'll soon stop caring and leave me alone again.

That is fine; I'll be quiet,

I will let you break me inside,

And I'll forgive you.

But one day it will be too much,

I'll end up leaving

You can't hate me more than I hate myself,

I let myself get hurt and broken,

I left the words to be unspoken,

And I'll still regret leaving you,

Even if it's the best thing for me,

Is it, really? What can I do?

No one seems to appreciate what I do,

It seems like I ruin everything,

Because I don't want to get hurt again,

I'll hurt you instead and feel even worse,

I can't stop feeling remorse,

Knowing it's the best I can do,

Why did you stop caring? What did I do?

And sometimes it's better to let go,

As I see, there's nothing I can do,

I will not force you to stay.

Sometimes I see people just don't care,

It's hurting me inside, but I keep smiling,

Knowing a little part of them still does,

My assumptions are just foes.

They always end up being the truth,

When you're nice to everyone you get used,

You'll only get bruised and misused.

You will get abused,

Until you'll go from sweet to bitter,

Soon you'll become a quitter.

You'll quit on people,

All they do is break your trust,

All they do is disappoint you,

All they do is not appreciate you,

All they do is hurt you.

You give them your all,

And in the end, receive nothing,

Indicating the end is coming,

Will, you let them leave you,

Or will you leave them?

People are friendly at times, right?

Their kindness can excuse this, right?

They used to be careful at times,

If they mistreat you now, it's alright.

Deep down they're filled with light,

Not darkness, right?

They used to treat you well,

This must mean they're still the people,

You thought you know,

These people who loved you,

So why don't things feel right anymore?

Why did they change and left you behind?

I keep realizing it's worthless to try,

All you can do is cry and let it go.

I'd do my best to be picture-perfect,

I'd become your best friend,

So why did you have to treat me this way?

Yes, you don't know how I feel.

And you never will.

Sometimes it seems I don't do anything right,

Is there even a reason to fight?

Even if you're lonely,

It's better not to get attached,

Or do you want to get hurt again?

All people do is bring you pain,

If not now then later,

Does it even matter?

You need to learn to let it go,

But everything reminds you,

Every time you hope it's different,

It'll end up the same,

It looks like the time of giving up.

I don't know what do I do wrong,

When you all stop appreciating me,

I wish I wouldn't care that much,

But it haunts me and hurts.

I don't know why do I get attached,

Mistreated, misused and end up bruised,

You can't hate me more than I hate myself,

I don't want to be lonely again,

I'm okay with dying inside, as long as it hurts me, not you.

Break me, use me, it's all fine by me,

It seems like I'm perfect,

But you can't see me breaking inside,

You can't see me pushing to endure it,

It's fine as long as I get hurt instead,

I know one day you will forget me,

My feelings won't matter later,

And sometime you'll maybe remember,

And regret everything you did.

One day, I hope I'll wake up,

And everything will be okay.

One day I'll be loving, the next moving,

One day my hope will be glowing,

Only to realize my sadness has still been growing.

Yes, this isn't the last time,

I'll move on from the past,

But how is it possible,

When the present killed you?

And it's all fine; I will no longer bother,

I will not let it break me any further,

I'm done giving people my all, getting nothing in return.

Sometimes I try to be perfect,

I'll let my feelings and thoughts destroy me,

I will not hurt you, even if it breaks me,

knowing you'll leave in the end.

I don't want to be lonely,

I can't beg you to stay,

One day I will go away,

And ruin your whole day.

I don't think I am living,

I keep forgiving,

It continues killing me,

It continues bringing me pain,

Something keeps missing,

I will stab you in the back,

Because the pain has killed me,

I never wanted to hurt you,

And now, this is what I get.