Heartprints in the Void
⊰ 23 ⊱ Missed Connections

My eyes snap open at the phone blaring, jolting me out of my slumber. *What the hell..?*

With my head still resting on Cade's bare chest, I lay perfectly my hand slayed over his abs. Almost instantly, he shifts slightly beneath me, reaching for his cell phone and silencing it.

The light from the sunrise creeps through the edges of the curtains, and knowing I can't lay here forever, I nearly panic trying to figure out what I should say. *He spent the night...*

Memories of last night play over in my head, and I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment at how I practically threw myself at him. I want to blame it on the pot, but truthfully, all the weed did was make me bold enough to say and do what I really wanted to.

*Oh, this is bad...this is SO bad.*

In the next moment, I hear a dial ring through his phone. "Good morning," he speaks lowly, more than likely assuming I'm still asleep. "I have some things that I need to take care of this morning. I'll be in at noon."

I can't begin to try to make out who's on the other end of the line, their voice barely audible.

"Thanks, Krina," he responds a moment later, and I hear the tapping of him setting his phone down on the nightstand beside him. The arm resting on my back, holding me closely, suddenly shifts, gently running up and down my shoulder blade as he whispers, "Ely."

My heart skips a beat, and as much as I want to pretend to be asleep, I muster the ounce of boldness that I have left in me as I hold my breath and respond, "Good morning."

Before he can mutter another word, I sit up, lifting myself off him with a very stiff lower back. A shaky breath parts my lips as a sharp pain briefly shoots across my hips. I manage to hold myself up steadily, reluctantly moving my legs over the edge of the bed.

"Are you alright?" Cade asks, concern lacing his tone as I turn my back to him.

I nod lightly, using the nightstand to shift my weight to my hand as I straighten on my feet.

*Oh, God...*

I inhale sharply, clenching my eyes shut as a string of sharp pains shoot down my leg, paralyzing me where I stand. I try to take deep and even breaths, exhaling slowly as the pain diminishes. When my eyelids flicker open, I watch as Bubbles moves to me, wagging his tail excitingly.

"Hi buddy," I speak softly, petting the top of his head as he sits and looks up at me with dilated pupils. "Oh, you're the cutest boy I know!" I giggle softly as I squeeze his soft, floppy ears, a small smile on my face.

I almost want to thank Bubbles for being my excuse to avoid it all, but as I reach for my glasses from the nightstand, Cade moves to sit at the edge of the bed, next to where I stand. In the next moment, Bubbles skips out into the living room, leaving me alone with *him*.

"Elysian," he calls softly as he takes my wrist in his hold.

*Please, just leave it alone...*

I'm afraid.

I don't want to talk, because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing or worse-his rejection. A part of me knew that I would want him all over again, and I know better.

*I should know better...*

"I'm sorry," I breathe out, shaking my head as a humorless chuckle emits from the back of my throat. "You don't have to say anything. It won't happen again."

His grip tightens for a moment, squeezing my wrist before loosening his hold on me. Without a word, he stands up, and out of the corner of my eye, I watch him walk back around the bed. He slips his t-shirt and shoes back on and takes his phone once more from the nightstand.

I chew on the inside of my cheek, tucking my hair behind my ears before crossing my arms in front of me. Carefully, I take a quick, short step, shifting my weight to my right leg to try to compensate for the instability in my left side. "Do you need anything from me before I take off?"

I snap my head in Cade's direction, looking at him as he walks around the bed and toward me. There's an irritable look on his face, and while he doesn't express his frustration, I feel guilty anyway. *He's upset with me.*

"Cade," I breathe out nervously, briefly turning to look at the living room through the open door of the bedroom. "Thank you for being here..." my voice trails off as I avert my gaze to meet his. His eyes soften momentarily, searching mine with a thoughtful look on his face. He doesn't say it, but I know that he's desperately trying to replace a way to talk to me about what's on his mind. After a long moment, he forfeits and moves past me, walking through the living room where he comes to a stop at the kitchen counter and takes his keys.

"I should go," he says as he turns to face me, watching me as I gently limp into the living room.

Excited to go for our regularly scheduled short morning walk, Bubbles is sitting next to the door, shifting his gaze between the leash hanging there and me as he waits patiently. *This is terrible timing.*

I had fallen asleep in a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, thankfully, so I slip into my pair of slippers and take the cardigan lying over the armrest of the couch. In one swift motion, I slip it on and look up at Cade again as he reaches for the leash and collar.

"You don't have to -"

"It's alright," he cuts me off, and before I can stop him, he puts Bubbles into his leash and collar and walks out the door with him.

He always went out of his way to help me, even when he didn't have to. Seeing this side of him again makes me smile, and while I know that I should be happy, it's also a bittersweet feeling.

I think that if I didn't know better and believed that he and I could make us work again, I wouldn't feel so sad altogether.

*Okay, but what if he just stole my dog?*

I snicker lowly at the thought, trying to imagine Bubbles sitting in the back of his Rover's nice leather seats and drooling all over them.

*He would probably lose his mind.*

I know that it won't be long before they're back, and while I wait, I carefully make my way to the kitchen and make a fresh batch of coffee. I like to keep to-go coffee cups in handy, and thankfully, as the door swings open, the coffee maker beeps **Ready*'.

I quickly pour Cade a cup, no sugar and no creamer, just as he's always liked it. "Thank you," I say softly as I gently set the cup down on the counter, watching him as he takes Bubbles' leash and collar off and hangs them next to the door. He eyes Bubbles for a long moment, shaking his head as he mutters, "He is a very big dog."

I don't know why I expected differently, but I'm almost disappointed when he reaches for the cup of coffee and turns to the door again.

I don't mean to, but it's as though my mouth has a mind of its own, blurting, "Wait."

*Shit.*

He doesn't hesitate, halting on his tracks. He turns to face me, his gaze holding my own as I nervously ask, "What you said about not letting me say goodbye...did you mean it?"

"Yes," he says, and again, he doesn't hesitate.

I like to think that the reason I don't want confrontation is because I'm afraid of rejection, but as I stand here, looking at him, I realize that the real reason that I don't want confrontation is because I'm afraid of *not* being rejected. Then, I won't give myself a choice but to fall into him.

"I'm s―"

"Stop apologizing, Elysian." He cuts me off, his tone hardening as he says, "*I* kissed you, so stop apologizing."

Holding one hand in the other, I brush my knuckles with my thumb, and I ask timidly, "Are you upset with me?"

"No," he says. "I'm not upset with you."

"Are you annoyed with me?"

A heavy sigh parts his lips, and he's frank, telling me, "Yes. I want to talk about what happened last night, but you seemed rather keen on dismissing it." He pauses momentarily, and it's evident that he's trying to choose his words carefully. It only serves to confuse me all the more.

*He didn't have a hard time telling me how he really felt before all of this. Why does he now?*

Suddenly, he says, "I won't force you to have a conversation with me, but I'll be ready whenever you decide that you are."

Without another word, he pulls the door open and takes his leave.