Heartprints in the Void
⊰ 27 ⊱ Release and Remorse

I groan out of my sleep, turning in the softness of the sheets. As I inhale deeply, the familiar scent of sandalwood and something uniquely Cade envelopes me. My eyes flutter open, taking in the sleek modern lines of the bedroom.

*Where am I?*

I lay on my back for a while longer, taking in the familiar room.

*This is Cade's room. Oh my God, I'm in Cade's house...again.*

I sit up slowly, glancing down at the awfully comfortable and oversized t-shirt skimming my thighs. It's Cade's Cade's shirt. A quick assessment tells me that aside from the slight headache, I'm surprisingly hangover-free. *Small mercies.*

Memories of last night come rushing back, fragmented and hazy. The club, the drinks, the phone call. Cade coming to get me, the feel of his hands on my skin as he helped me into the car.

*Oh God, I got sick in front of him...*

Mortification washes over me. I bury my face in my hands, groaning softly.

*What does he think of me now?!*

I force myself up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. I need to get out of here, to put some distance between us before I do something even more embarrassing.

*Like beg him to touch me again.*

I pad softly to the bathroom, my breath catching as I catch sight of myself in the mirror. My hair is a mess, my mascara smudged beneath my eyes. But what *really* stops me in my tracks is the realization that Cade must have undressed me, seen me in all my drunken disarray.

*Oh, this is bad... This is SO bad.*

The thought sends a shiver down my spine, a mix of embarrassment and something else, something warmer and decidedly more dangerous.

That's when I notice the neatly folded pile of clothes on the counter, *my* clothes from last night, cleaned and waiting for me. Beside them, a new toothbrush, still in its packaging, and a stack of fluffy towels.

The thoughtfulness of the gesture brings a lump to my throat, a stinging in my eyes. Even after everything, even after he found me drunk and I threw myself at him, he's still taking care of me. *He still cares...*

I brush my teeth and step into the shower, letting the hot water sluice over me, washing away the remnants of last night. I stand under the running water longer than I should, trying to gather my thoughts, to steel myself for the inevitable confrontation.

Because I know Cade. I know he won't let this go without a conversation, without making sure that I understand the seriousness of my actions.

*I don't want a lecture. Please, don't give me a lecture...*

Most of all, I don't know if I'm ready to face the disappointment in his eyes. I'm not ready for him to confirm that I've fallen even further in his estimation of me.

*Why do I care? We're not together anymore.*

...

*Because I respect him too much to not care what he thinks of me.*

With a sigh, I turn off the water and reach for a towel, drying myself off before slipping into my clothes from last night. The dress feels too tight, too revealing in the harsh light of day, but it's all I have.

*And my underwear...oh God, he saw my panties.*

...

*I can't hide in here forever.*

Taking a deep breath, I open the bathroom door and make my way down the hall. The scent of coffee hits me before I even reach stairs, and suddenly, I'm craving it more than usual. With my heart at my throat, I begin my descent, my eyes snapping to the kitchen.

And there he is, standing at the counter, pouring two steaming mugs of coffee. He's shirtless, wearing only a pair of low-slung sweatpants, his hair still damp from his own shower.

The sight of his muscular back steals my breath, my heart stuttering in my chest. He looks like every fantasy I've ever had come to life, like temptation incarnate.

As if sensing my presence, he turns, his eyes replaceing mine. For a moment, we merely stare at each other, the silence heavy with all the things we don't say.

"Coffee?" he offers after a long moment, his voice gruff.

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. I move toward the counter, my care feet padding softly on the cool tile. When he hands me the mug, our fingers brush, and I feel it like an electric shock. *Breathe...*

I bring it to my lips, taking a sip that's a little too generous for hot liquid. But I welcome it, a distraction from the way my body yearns to close the distance between us, to feel his skin against mine.

Ever since that night, since he pinned me to his car and kissed me so...passionately, it's all I can think about. It's all I want.

"We need to talk," he says, setting his own mug down on the counter. *And...there it is.*

I brace myself, meeting his gaze head-on. "About what?" I ask, feigning ignorance.

His jaw clenches, his eyes flashing with irritation. "Don't play dumb, Elysian. You know exactly what."

I bristle at his tone, at the accusation that I'm being deliberately obtuse. "You mean the fact that I had a few drinks and called you? I'm sorry if I interrupted your evening, Cade, but I hardly think that warrants a lecture."

"A few drinks?" he scoffs, shaking his head. "You were wasted, Elysian. You could barely stand up straight."

I feel my cheeks heat, shame and defensiveness warring in my gut. "I was just letting off some steam. It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?" His voice rises, his control slipping. "Anything could have happened to you in that state. What if I hadn't been there to pick you up? What if you'd gotten behind the wheel?"

The thought sobers me, a chill washing over my skin. He's right, of course. I was reckless-stupid. I put myself in a dangerous situation, and I'm lucky it was Cade who came to my rescue and not someone with *less noble* intentions. "I'm sorry," I whisper, my voice faltering. "I wasn't thinking. I just...I wanted to forget for a while."

"Forget what?" he presses, stepping closer, his presence overwhelming in what suddenly feels like a really small kitchen. I back away as he continues his movements toward me, further away until my back's against the floor-to-ceiling window and I have nowhere to go. I can feel the heat of his body radiating off of him, the weight of his gaze bearing down on me.

I swallow hard, my gaze dropping to the floor. "Everything," I confess softly. "The way things are between us now. The way...the way I still feel about you."

Silence falls, and for a moment, it's as though I can hear my own heart drumming in my ears. I risk a glance up at him, my breath catching at the intensity in his eyes.

"You're lucky you're not mine anymore," he says, his voice low and rough, almost sultry.

I feel the words like a physical blow, hurt and anger rising up to choke me. "Or what?" I challenge, my chin lifting defiantly. "What would you do, Cade?"

His hands come up, bracing on either side of my head as he leans in closer. His breath brushes my ear, hot yet chilling. "I'd remind you who you belong to," he growls, shifting slightly, his face now just inches from mine. "I'd make sure you never forgot again."

Heat rolls through me, desire warring with pride. I know I should push him away. I should end this before it goes too far. But I can't seem to make myself move. I can't seem to do anything but stare up at him, my lips parted, my pulse pounding.

"Why don't you now?" I breathe, the words slipping out before I can stop them.

Something flashes in his eyes, hot and hungry. And in the next moment, his mouth is on mine, his kiss brutal and demanding. I moan into it, my hands fisting in his hair, pulling him closer. He groans, his body pressing hard against mine, pinning me to the window.

I can feel every inch of him, every muscle. His hands are everywhere, skimming over my curves, igniting fires in their wake. I arch into his touch, my head falling back as his lips trail down my throat, his teeth scraping over my pulse point. "Cade," I gasp, my nails digging into his shoulders. "Please..."

He pulls back just far enough to meet my gaze, his eyes dark with lust. "Please what, Ely?" he rasps, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip. "Tell me what you want."

I can feel myself trembling beneath him, my body wound tight with need. "You," I breathe, my voice barely a whisper. "I want you."

A low, guttural sound erupts from the back of his throat, and he kisses me again, his hands snaking down my back and cupping my ass. I cling to him, losing myself in the taste of him as his tongue delves deep, tangled with my own.

It's everything I've been craving, everything I've been missing. And for a moment, I let myself forget. Forget the hurt, the heartbreak, the years of longing and regret.

But just as Cade's hands replace the hem of my dress, just as his fingers brush against the bare skin of my thighs, a shrill ringing cuts through the haze of lust, jolting us apart.

He curses under his breath, his chest heaving as he fumbles to pull his phone out of his pocket. He glances at the screen, his expression tightening.

Suddenly, he pulls away from me, his voice strained as he mutters, "I have to take this."

I nod, trying to catch my breath, to calm the frantic pounding of my heart. I watch as he turns away, bringing the phone to his ear as he strides out of the room, leaving me standing here, my lips swollen, my skin flushed. *What just happened?*

The intensity, the raw hunger in his eyes... For a moment, it felt like old times, like nothing had changed between us.

But everything has changed. We're not the same people we were three years ago. Too much has happened, too many hurts and misunderstandings piled up between us.

And yet, the pull is still there. The magnetic attraction, that bone-deep connection that even time and distance couldn't erase.

I close my eyes, leaning my back against the window as I try to gather my scattered thoughts. I know I should leave. I should grab my things and go, put as much space between us as possible.

But I can't seem to make myself move. I can't seem to do anything but stand here, replaying the feeling of his hands on my body, the taste of his kiss.

It's a dangerous game we're playing, one with no winners. I know it, and I think he does too, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

*I'm screwed... I'm so incredibly screwed.*