Her Savior Alpha
Chapter 39

The beeping of the incessant heart monitor droned in my ears. White blended into white as I sat in a squeaky plastic chair beside Reily, who may as well have been dead on the bed. He hadn’t moved since he got out of surgery, coming out with a series of stiches ingrained across his body. He may as well have been tore apart and put back together, like a werewolf Frankenstein. Actually, he was seconds away from being torn apart indeed.

Grimly, I thought about the last moment before I jumped into the fray. The beautiful white mane of Vera’s Lycan rippling in the air as she all but flew at Reilly’s battered form on the ground, maws stretched wide open like a shark hunting prey. She had been a mythical, majestic creature, powered by millennia of ancient magic running through her nerve points and her veins, but she had been dangerous, truly animalistic in that pocket of time. And despite the immobilizing terror that gripped me, my body ran without notice to intercept her before she could snap Reilly’s head right off his shoulders. The wounds from her razor-sharp claws still burned on my back, and I realized I’d have to address them properly. I had had the time nor the attention to really get them treated other than haphazardly bandage them. I’d need to do something before they got infected.

The resulting injury was a trophy, proof that I truly did care about my brother’s wellbeing, and I hoped he could see it. But despite my unconditional love for him, I couldn’t forgive him for what he’d done to Vera. The battle was absolutely gruesome, blood and mangled bodies strewn around the forest floor. Yet I couldn’t imagine being in Vera’s place and my wolf not attempting to avenge me after years of abuse under the hands of a cruel person. I would’ve cheered my wolf on all the way, given it all the control it needed to dole out punishment.

And Vera. Ever since I first saw her wolf, it amazed me; how beautiful she was… it should not have been a surprise that she was far greater than anyone of us expected. A Lycan no less. I wasn’t sure how I felt; I was still stunned and couldn’t process Vera’s actual identity until after I was sure Reily was okay. The Lycan’s true power had unleashed to meet the actions of my brother; and all actions had consequences, I knew this. The results of my own doing were more clear to me than ever, and that’s why I couldn’t leave Reilly’s side in the ICU.

I hadn’t truly been able to speak to Vera, not because I didn’t want to or blamed her - rather the opposite - but I was ashamed. I could not believe I let myself and her get fooled by Reily. My little brother’s words about how I never went after anything ran through my mind. He was right. I always stood by and let others make their own decision, craving peace and freedom from pain. I didn’t want to get hurt again, after my family’s destruction. I didn’t want to hurt others. But by not doing anything, I’d hurt many once again, most of all Vera.

My eyes laid upon him again, unsure if I was still awake or this was all some sort of dream. Was this really what he’d become? My mind couldn’t help but wonder how much of his current self was due to my parents’ death… and how much of it was due to my absence. Could I have stopped him from becoming this way, this uncaring, rage-filled psycho-maniac? Could I have given him the love and attention he needed to not turn into a vengeful monster? A bully? An abuser?

Whatever he was or tried to be, right now he just looked like a broken young boy. His facial muscles were completely relaxed, and although his pallid face made him look like a corpse, his features were young and soft. Freckles lightly speckled his cheeks and forehead, and his hair was splayed out across the pillow. My brother looked like what he could have been, like he used to be: that smiley, toothy young boy with mussed up strawberry blonde hair.

Slumping back in the chair, I rubbed at my sore eyes. It was late into the night, and I had no idea what to do with myself. My mind couldn’t stop brandishing things I wanted to leave off for another time. I thought of Vera, and how I would face her, what I would say to her. She must have been feeling remorseful, I could tell. She was that sort of person. So conditioned to believe everything terrible was her fault, she would hold herself responsible for Reily, even though he had absolutely led her on, manipulated her, and crumpled her up like a piece of paper to toss in the bin. I thought of Archer as well, whom I had started off with a sour relationship that ended up with him coming to visit earlier in the night. He was subdued, thoughts far from here, but he still managed to ask about Reily and how I was doing (he wasn’t too particularly caring about Reily’s state and I could understand why). He said Vera wasn’t doing too well, and I wished I could have been by her side. Although we both were quite shocked about the news of her Lycan bloodline, we didn’t blame her for anything.

Most of all, I couldn’t stop visualizing what life would have been like had I not stayed stationed far away. What if I had visited more often and taken more care into spending time with Reilly? Could we have been close, would he have looked up to me? Could I have protected Vera from a long time ago? Could Reily and Vera instead have been friends?

I knew not everything was my fault. Each person had their actions to account for. However, it was an undeniable fact to me that I had messed up.

Big time.

Running away was my biggest regret. I was a horrible brother. What would my parents say if they could see us now? My heart tore into a million pieces as I visualized their sad, mournful faces, disappointing at the state of our family. I had thought the Beartown battle had destroyed my family, but really, I was the one who shattered all hopes of rebuilding it, and that was somehow worse.

The heart monitor sped up a bit, drawing me out of the deep cold well of my mind. My attuned attention was already on Reily’s face when his pale lashes fluttered open.

He let out a slight breath, bleary brown eyes staring up at the fluorescent light above him.

Resisting the urge to grab his hand, I leaned forward. “Reily,” I whispered, which felt necessary in the eerily silent room. “How are you feeling?”

“Clive?” his voice was croaky, sounding like he just got hit by a train running at him from four different directions. Blinking, he found my face, tilting his head toward me achingly slow.

“Yes, it’s me, Clive,” I said.

“What are you doing here?” he slurred, still reeling from the surgery’s anesthesia.

I laughed dryly. “What do you mean what am I doing here? I’m watching over you while you recover.”

He snorted weakly. “Watching over me? Rich.” Then realization dawned on him and he seemed to fully wake up. “Oh. Recover from the…Oh, shit, that happened.”

He raised the hand that was connected to the IV to his head, massaging his forehead.

“I have to ask you, Reily,” I started, wanting to expel what had been on my mind ever since I found out earlier that Reily had betrayed Vera and lured her into a dangerous game of cat-and-mouse. “Why? Why did you do it?”

Reily blinked at me, either not sure how to respond or not sure what exactly meant. I rephrased my question. “How could you have pretended to want to put things behind you, then backstab your mate, attempting to quite literally kill her? What were you thinking?” My voice remained soft and heartbroken, as I truly bared the turmoil storming within me as I faced my brother.

I was caught in a web of oppositions: Vera, the pack’s scapegoat who didn’t deserve anything she got, and Reilly, my dear brother, who I’m sure if my parents had extra minutes before their death to tell me their last words, would have made me swear an oath to protect. But it wasn’t about sides here; it was about morals. And being away from the ack for so long, I couldn’t grasp their mentalities when they saw clear signs of oppression and abuse amongst them Maybe I didn’t understand the whole story. But any fool could tell that Reily’s treatment of Vera was wrong, whether she was a bloodthirsty primordial Lycan or not.

“I wanted to show her that nothing, not her growing strength, not her little friends, not you, not even the dumb mate bond, could change what she did,” he finally grumbled, and I knew he was honest by the way he couldn’t look me in the eye. Usually, he would just stay something scathing and provocative for the sake of goading me.

I couldn’t stop the next words from falling from my mouth, nor could I really bring myself to feel bad about them: “Honestly, Reily, you deserved what you got.”

His eyes narrowed on me in a sobering glare; all the anesthesia had clearly trickled out of his system. “What the fuck did you just say? Did you see what that crazy bitch did to me?”

“Well, could you blame her?” I shot back. “Look at what you’ve done to her!”

“I only did what she deserved.”

“Reily, please. Whatever you feel about Vera, she isn’t the problem. Beartown should be to blame for attacking us, not her.”

“We would have won if it weren’t for her stupid ass running into the fight.”

“She was just a young girl! What would our parents say? Huh, Reily? Do you think they would happy that you’re apparently doing all of this for them?”

He sat in furious silence, and I knew he had nothing to say because I had a point, and I had hit a nerve.

“You’re low for making me feel guilty about this, when you know you were trash for the past five years, leaving me here alone!”

“Reily, I know I fucked up as a brother. I swear to you, all your anger should be directed towards me because I know that if I had stayed, I could have been by your side. If I had been a better brother-”

“Get off your high horse,” he snarled. “My actions are my choice, you have nothing to do with it. I hurt Vera because I enjoyed doing it.”

“You manipulated her and tricked her into agreeing to mate with you. Brother or not, that is truly scum in my eyes, and if mom and dad were here, they would reject his actions.

“You shut the fuck up!” He finally burst, veins bulging in his neck. “Stop bring them up, they’re fucking dead!” The heart monitor began picking up on his hate-fueled virgor.

“You know I’m right,” I said quetly, tightening my fists beside me.

Previously pasty pale face growing redder, sweat tricking down hsi temples in anger and exertion, Reily moved. He tried to shoot up too quickly from his white pillow, and froze, a moan eliciting from his lips. The heart monitor went crazy, as his arms wrapped around his abdomen. I could see blood seeping beneath the bandages around his torso.

“Reily, calm down for the love of the Moon Goddess!” I growled, replaceing myself standing at his side and pulling his shoulders back down gently. “Can’t we have a conversation with you having a breakdown?”

He moaned again, his body curled around his torso, eyes squeezed tight against the agony he must’ve been feeling. Vera’s wolf certainly didn’t leave any part of his body untouched - and not in the good way.

Rapid steps increasingly became louder, echoing in the hall out side right before the door swung open and a harried looking nurse walked in.

“What on earth is going on here?” she exclaimed, her neat bun making her look severe and disapproving, like a strict schoolteacher. She rushed forward, pushing me away from the bed none too gently and pinning Reilly down. She examined his open wound on his abdomen. “I need to redress his wound.”

She turned her hawk like eyes on me. “Some of the other personnel heard a shouting match from this side of the wing. If you’ve been causing trouble and getting the patient all worked up, I’ll have to kick you out, young man.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. We didn’t mean to take it too far,” I tried to explain.

“And you!” The nurse whirled on Reilly with a pointed finger. “You need to calm down and do your only job, which is healing. Or else you’ll get worse that what came to you. I don’t know if you two are aware, but this is the intensive care unit; there is where patients stay for serious injuries with long-term recovery, that if tampered with, could lead to disability. Now if you want to stay here longer, keep doing what you’re doing.”

Her disapproving eyes rolled between me and Reilly, who had glued himself down to the bed, half in pain and half from the nurse’s admonition. We both shook their heads slowly.

“Great. Now you there,” she regarded Clive again. “Get out while I fix him up.”

Feeling like a misbehaving schoolboy, I left the room to sit on a bench outside. Resting my head in my hands, I ruminated on my brother and I’s inability to have a simple discussion without blowing up. I imagined a new world, one in which I never left. I stayed back here to take care of my brother and the pack. Although I might overestimate my abilities to change things for the better at times, saying I tried was better than giving up before I could do anything. I might have helped Reily heal; I could have watched over Vera to repay her father for saving me. Maybe the two would have been friends, with closure over what happened. Maybe they could have actually made amazing supportive mates.

As for me... I couldn’t help but imagine myself at that mate ceremony with the one next to me a gorgeous woman with hair like ribbon strands of black onyx, and iridescent eyes that rested upon me like a healing salve. And I knew right then than I yearned for the impossible.