His Secret Obsession
Chapter 25

I sat in my empty apartment, trying to wrap my head around everything I just found out. The messages Ronan..no, I mean Asher left me still filling my head. He sent more than one and I haven't responded to any. The first one started at 4:23 pm and the last was five minutes Ronan74: I know you might be feeling sad baby, but your dad and uncle will be fine and you are starting a new chapter..we are together. I promise everything will be okay.

ago.

Ronan74: I am always here for you no matter what. I don't just want you during the good and happy times, I want you for all of it Baby.

Ronan74: just wanted to let you know that I am really proud of you.

Ronan74: f**k I miss you so much already. Are you okay?

I bit my lip nervously..contemplating if I should text back or not. Should I just call him out? Should I act like I don't know and pretend like everything is fine? I don't want to lose him..as horrible as that seems. I should be furious at him.. and yet I feel scared. What if he really doesn't want to be seen with me? He has already lied about so much, why wouldn't he lie about his feelings too?

Tears filled my eyes as I slumped down to the floor, feeling sad and lonely as I pulled my knees up to my chest, looking around my cluttered apartment. This was my own choice..but not having Ronan to talk to now, I felt lonelier than ever. I know I should be excited and enjoy this new journey in my life but instead, I am just missing my house and my room. I miss hearing my dad and uncle argue about something pointless and getting to spend time with them all night. I am nineteen years old..why was this so freaking hard? Just then I felt my phone vibrating and I looked down at it with horror..Ronan was calling. My stomach tightened into knots, making me feel anxious as I fought with what to do. I closed my eyes tightly and answered the phone, placing it against my ear. "Baby, are you okay?" Asher asked, his voice finally registering now that I have pieced it all together. This whole time I was so naive and such a complete idiot to have ignored all the signs. Suddenly I froze, unable to speak as the call was now filled with thick silence "Baby?" He said more nervously this time.

"Hey, yeah I'm here." I whispered softly, wiping my eyes as I let my head fall back and rest against the wall. What was I going to do?

Suddenly I heard him moving around on the other end of the call, like he was pacing or something.

"What is it baby..tell me please.." He sounded nervous and I tried my hardest not to break down but the tears continued to silently stream down my face.

"I..I'm fine.." I sobbed, obviously not sounding fine at all.

"Oh kitten, it's okay..it's going to be okay I promise. I know it's hard right now but you will get used to it soon. Remember I am right here with you..we are in this together, I promise." His words cut me deep..if we were in this together then why hide something so important from me?

"I wish I could see you right now." I admitted, wishing he was here with me..I felt pathetic.

"I want that more than anything. You have no idea Emery..how hard it is to be away from you." He breathed, making my stomach flip, picturing Asher saying those words and truly meaning it. I feel like even though Asher and Ronan are the same...they seem so completely different personality-wise. Asher is always so closed off and serious whereas Ronan is open and playful. The question now is, which one is the real Asher?

"Is..is that true? Do you really feel that way?" I whispered, my insecurities rearing their ugly head as I swallowed hard.

"Of course I do baby, why would you even question that? I want to be with you more than anything in this world." He said passionately, driving his point across as confusion swirled inside of me. If that's what he wants most in the world..then why doesn't he do it? "Call me on video chat, I need to see you." He ordered, hanging up before I could even respond.

I quickly inhaled a steadying breath as my phone began to vibrate once more. I lifted it up and took the call, my eyes downcast and avoiding the camera. I don't know why but it felt like I was talking to a stranger now..like all those things we shared and spoke about truly meant nothing. Everything was a lie..

"Emery, look at the camera..please." He sounded desperate..like he knew something had changed. He could always read me so well..

I glanced up, looking at my phone as I sat in the dimly lit room. My eyes were glossy from crying and my hair was a complete mess.

"Are you doubting us baby?" He asked sadly, making my eyes widen as I bit my lip nervously.

"No..I just..what if you won't want to be with me in person..what if I'm not good enough." there, I said it..this has to be the reason why he is doing this.

"Don't ever fucking say that again Emery, how could you even think that? Do you honestly not see what everyone else so clearly can?" He sounded angry, like what I said was the stupidest thing he had ever heard..then why..why won't he tell me..why is he pretending like he is someone else?

I just sat there quietly, laying my head down against my knees, willing myself not to cry.

"Emery..can't you feel it..can't you feel that I fucking love you?" His tender words filled the silence, making my head snap up as I looked at my phone..he..he just said he loved me.

"I know we can't be together right now, but please..please don't give up on me. I promise in a few months when we meet up I will make it all right. We will start our new chapter together..I just need that time baby..but please just trust me." So he planned to really meet up with me and reveal all of this in Florida. There had to be a reason why he needs this time. Could it have to do with the Basketball team? Maybe he doesn't need the distraction in person because his season is starting soon. Or could it be because of Natalie? That thought angered me..I hope he isn't talking to anyone else..

"What was that look? What were you just thinking Emery?" He asked me worriedly and I let out a deep sigh.

"There..there isn't anyone else you are talking to right?" I asked nervously, looking down once more.

"Oh god, no baby, of course not. Is that what this is about? You thought I might be talking to other people?" He sounded relieved, his voice making my heart flutter.

I just nodded my head, deciding right here and now I didn't want to lose Ronan..no, I didn't want to lose Asher.

"Since the moment we became official I haven't even looked towards another girl. Like I said Emery, you are it for me..and I mean that." He reassured me and I couldn't help but smile. Maybe I was a fool..maybe this was a huge mistake and it might just leave me completely broken..but maybe..just maybe Asher McNeal might really love me and I can't give that up.

"There's my kitten..f**k you are gorgeous." I could hear the smile in his voice and now I can finally picture it too. There was always a disconnect between the picture he sent and his voice..but now I can see it so clearly. Who was that in the picture anyway? Thats what I need to replace out next..Suddenly my cheeks began to warm, making me feel more nervous than I ever have before.

Then it hit me...Asher has seen me naked..multiple times..I have touched myself on camera for him and then saw him in person like nothing happened! Oh god..how embarrassing!

"What are you thinking about Emery?" He said in that deep seductive tone that has made me do so many naughty things in the past..

"Nothing." I squeaked, trying to control myself as I went to stand up.

"Did you want to see my place?" I blurted out..knowing he has already seen it already but playing into my new clueless role..but really was clueless for six damn months.

"Yeah, let's see how many rooms we need to christen." He growled, making my center pool as I tried my hardest not to melt right here on the damn floor.

I guess I am doing this..I'm going to give him a chance. I don't know why I didn't just call him out and confront him right here and now..but a part of me is afraid to lose him. A part of me fears that as soon as we accept this in real life, something might tear us apart. I have loved Asher McNeal for as long as I can remember, so the idea that he could truly be mine...it's absolutely terrifying.