His Secret Obsession
Chapter 39

(Carson)

Well, today has gone the exact opposite of how the hell I thought it would. But surprisingly it has been one of the best days I have had with Jackie so far. It just proves how kind and caring she is. The way she knew whenever I was feeling overwhelmed or stressed with the Asher shit..which totally came out of left field. What the f**k was that all about? At one point he even pulled me aside while Em and Jackie decided to get matching airbrushed tattoos which was f*****g adorable by the way...I can't help but swell with happiness knowing the two most important women in my life get along so well. It just proves even more how amazing Jackie is.

I am also grateful she has been here for Emery because she is finally seeing Mack for who she is for the first time in her life. I have always seen it..I have heard the comments Mack made..I have seen how she treated Emery behind her back and used her to practically do whatever she wanted. But the messed up part about it all, Mack actually cared about Em and didn't even realize she was such a shitty friend. She and Em were inseparable up until last year, but then something changed.

Emery lost some weight, which I am so f*****g proud of how hard she has been working. I love Emery no matter what size she is or what she looked like, but seeing her become more comfortable in her own skin and finally come into herself..it's incredible to see. I saw the change in MacKenzie as soon as she got back from Europe, how she looked at Emery like she didn't even recognize her. For the first time in her life, she actually looked intimidated and I have never seen her like that..but then Mack started pushing Emery away. Just like she pushed me away..MacKenzie doesn't care about anyone but herself and now that Emery is finally coming into her own MacKenzie realizes that and I can tell she f*****g hates it. She is used to Emery hanging on her every word and practically worshipping at her feet. Which I loathed the way Em always held Mack up on a damn pedestal..it was infuriating.

But now Mack wants Emery to grovel for forgiveness for whatever wrong she might have done..Not this time though..Emery has changed, and maybe Asher has something to do with that..as much as I hate to admit it. Mr. L is going to kill me..but I feel better after getting all of that off of my chest.

It's a big fear of mine, to think my "family" would end up despising me because I let Em get her heart broken.. But what she says proves even more to me that the Lewis family is my true family..they are the only ones who care. Mr. Lewis has been there for me from the start. Showing up at my games and taking me out for ice cream..going camping together and just giving me attention my own father never did. I even would slip up occasionally and call him dad. He never once corrected me..because sometimes I notice the way he looks at me is the same way he looks at Em. Like he might actually see me as his son.

Unlike my own father..my dad has been absent since the moment I was born. Mack and I were essentially raised by nannies for the first half of our lives. Then I got into basketball and was really good at it, so Vince began pressuring me into that and eventually, it stopped being fun somewhere along the way. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy playing and being a part of the team but I'm just not passionate about it. Not like Asher who was physically created to play the damn game, I swear. He is one of the most gifted players I have ever seen and he makes the team what it is. That's why I still play because when we all play together it's almost magical.

But next year I am supposed to start Law School..to follow in Vince's footsteps. I can't fucking do it..I don't want to do it and every damn day I feel more and more compelled to just drop out of school and do what I'm passionate about. I want to work on cars, I want to do exactly what the man I admire does. He has taught me everything I know and when we are together working on a car I feel so grounded and at peace, it's almost like I know exactly who I am right at that moment. Uncle Jack just recently sent me a text about an internship that was opening up at one of the most well-known vehicle manufacturers in the country.

I haven't talked to anyone else about it yet but I'm seriously considering it. The problem is I know my dad will completely freak out and he will strip me of everything. That's how he is...he has used money and financial stability to get his way since I can remember. So is following my dreams worth losing my house and lifestyle? That's what I need to figure out..

My mind took me back to the conversation I had with Asher. I asked him how serious he was about everything with Em and he admitted to me that he felt like she was the one. I swear I almost dropped dead from shock right then and there. I had never seen Asher like this ever and I feel like I know the guy pretty damn well..considering we have lived together for years and he is my best friend. But deep down..I fucking believe him..even though it still grosses me out to see how clingy they are with one another. But of course, I made the whole big brother speech about kicking his ass if he hurts her and he agreed fully. He gave me permission to because if he ever hurts her then he deserves it. I couldn't argue with that..

"What are you thinking about honey?" Jackie's sweet voice tickled my ear as she leaned into me.

"Today has been pretty fucking crazy..right?" I looked down at her, watching as her beautiful blue eyes filled with humor.

"I think it's been pretty fun." She laughed, her response surprising me as she smiled sweetly. My heart began to race as I looked down at this absolutely stunning woman and I began to wonder how the hell did I get so damn lucky?

"...Well I mean..you..you weren't put off by anything?" Oh god..why was I acting like a bumbling idiot again? I don't know what the hell is wrong with me..suddenly I began to sweat, watching as Jackie's hands rested on my chest and slowly slid up and down sensually. Fuck me..

"If anything, it made me like you more." She whispered, her full pink lips parting softly as I swallowed hard. I have never felt so nervous in my damn life.

Just then I looked over Jackie's shoulder, noticing Em was giving me some type of signal as she pointed to the clock on her phone.

Fuck..was it time already? I nodded my head tightly and cleared my throat.

"Let's go on the Ferris wheel pumpkin." I looked down at Jackie as she smiled even wider and nodded her head excitedly.

I quickly wiped my sweaty palms against my jeans before gripping her hand and pulling her toward the wheel. This was the moment..I was going to ask her to be official..I wanted her to be mine and only mine. I don't know why this feels like a damn engagement or something but a part of me feels like with Jackie..it almost was..I could see a future with her and it scared the hell out of me. She knew all about my issues with my family and how I didn't want to go to law school. She was my biggest supporter besides Em and her family..so to have another person like that in my life..it makes it all more worth living..it makes me feel like I have a purpose.

I looked towards the guy running the ride and had Em run up to distract Jackie for a moment while I talked to him.

"Hey, I'm the 9 o'clock reservation." I told him quietly, glancing over my shoulder towards a laughing Jackie and Em.

"Oh yeah, awesome man I just got word they are all ready for you. Which ones your girl?" the guy asked curiously and I nodded toward Jackie.

"The redhead." I informed him and he nodded again, looking over toward Jackie and seeming to approve which kind of pissed me off, to be honest..

"Okay, good luck man, you get twenty minutes..just don't rock the pod too much, then it becomes obvious." The guy winked and I just shook my head. What a f*****g pervert..my mind wasn't even going there..I was stressing the hell out about what I would even say to begin with.

"You guys ready?" The guy hollered over to our group and Jackie ran up to me excitedly before wrapping her hand around my arm.

"This is going to be so romantic, to see all the lights from up there." She whispered, making me nod my head vehemently as I looked behind me once more, catching Em's eye as she gave me a thumbs up.

Asher was holding her by the waist and he gave me one of his typical encouraging nods..yeah, that's all I will get out of him..but it was enough I guess.

We walked into the cart and I sat down with Jackie right by my side. Fuck fuck fuck what am I going to even say?! I had planned this out in my head so many times and yet I am completely blanking right now. The cart began moving and I swear I jumped, making Jackie look at me curiously.

"Just relax Carson, you seem tense." She whispered, reaching her hand up as she began to rub my chest in a soothing motion.

"I..I'm fine. Just didn't expect it to move so quickly." I lied, looking anywhere but at Jackie as we inched high and higher while stopping every now and then to let the others on.

"It's so beautiful." Jackie gasped, glancing out the window as she looked down at all the twinkling lights. Her big blue eyes were wide and full of wonder as I took a deep steadying breath..here goes nothing..