His Secret Obsession
Chapter 93

(Emery)

Walking into that restaurant, the events that occurred were the last thing I ever expected to happen. I honestly imagined Asher seeing his mom, then he would fill with excitement and we would all hug and laugh and everything would be totally great! Yeah right..it went the complete opposite of what I imagined. At first, I didn't quite register there were two other people besides Asher's mom..like I had no idea who they could be. Maybe an uncle and aunt? I never thought in a million years it would be his freaking dad and stepmom, that's for sure. I felt horrified, the look on Asher's face was full of shock and hurt, it made my heart break for him as I tried to think of what to do. But I felt frozen..I felt like I was watching everything unfold right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I told Asher we didn't have to stay, that we could just walk out right then and there but I saw the hesitation in his eyes. The way his mom ordered him to stay didn't feel right..but once his dad told us why he was there, I didn't know what Asher was thinking or feeling.

From what he had told me, his dad was never involved, after the divorce. He never reached out or called and when he did it wasn't often and always brief. So he didn't even feel like he had a dad. He never felt loved or wanted by this man and this new information wasn't going to magically fix that either.

I felt like Asher fought with the idea to stay..not to forgive his dad or have one last "bonding" moment..but to say things he always held back..things that could hurt him later on in life if his dad did pass because Asher would hold them in. I know he will still be okay..he would still live a happy, loving life..but the mere idea of Asher having a single regret or wishing he could have done or said something differently scared me. I never want the love of my life to hurt...and seeing him hurt makes me hurt. "Baby, if you want to go at any time, just tell me okay?" I leaned into Asher, my hand pressing against his chest as I watched him nod in agreement before turning and placing a gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth.

"As long as I have you with me, I will be okay, I promise." His voice sounded sad and broken as he leaned into me, his fingers intertwining with my own as he gripped my hand tightly for support.

The server was just now placing everyone else's meals on the table as we all sat with an awkward silence filling the air.

"Asher, thank you for staying. I know you didn't have to..or necessarily want to..so thank you." Asher's dad began, making everyone look up at him as he placed his napkin on top of the table.

"I didn't stay for you, I did it because I don't want to pretend anymore..I don't want to have this weighing down my life and affecting my relationships not only with my future wife but my future children as well." Asher began, making me turn my head towards him and fill with emotion. He has hidden all of this so freaking well..the anger, the sadness, the pain.

"I don't expect you to. I knew coming here and meeting with you, this is what needed to happen, and I'm not going to sit here and act like I have been here for you, because I know I wasn't." His dad began, making Asher clench his free hand into a fist while he held onto me tighter.

"Why then, why did you fucking do it?" Asher gritted through his teeth, making his mom shoot him a glare as she was about to say something but instantly shut up when Asher held his hand up to stop her.

"Don't I have the right to know why my own dad wanted nothing to do with me? Why I decided it must have been my fault..that there had to be something wrong with me all this time..I fucking convinced myself I didn't deserve this." He shouted, his hand motioning between the two of us as his emotions began to tumble out.

"I told myself for the longest time that no one would love me like I would love them, that I would just end up being left and abandoned..that I didn't deserve to be loved because if my own dad couldn't fucking do it, then who would?" He banged the table, with his fist, making me slide my arms around his waist as I held him tightly. Asher is the most loveable person I have ever met..he is everything to me and always has been..so to hear this, it kills me. To know he thinks he is unlovable, it's the furthest thing from the truth. I heard Asher's deep ragged breaths as he held me close to him, burying his head in the crook of my neck as he inhaled me deeply. The room filled with silence as Asher tried to control himself. Maybe we should just go..this might be too much for him right now. "It was never anything you did..it was never anything your mom did either. I have no excuses..I felt like I lost who I was, that I was no longer a good husband or a good father..so I did the coward thing and ran. I ran away and started over..I learned from my mistakes but didn't use them on the one person I should have. I wish I could change it all..the years, they just slipped away and before I knew it you were twenty-four and I missed it all. I f*****g missed it all.." Asher's dad choked out, tears spilling down his cheeks as Asher's mom began to cry now.

"So please..I don't expect you to forgive me or forget what I did, but just know the thing I regret most in life is that Asher..and if I didn't say I'm sorry or show you that I truly meant it son..that I truly hate myself for this I couldn't live the rest of my life without saying this..I just couldn't." He wiped at his tears, his dark hair disheveled and his face pale. I saw his wife rubbing her hand back and forth on his back, comforting him and then I looked towards Asher's mom...she looked towards her son with such remorse..such heartache in hearing how Asher felt all of these years.

"I think we should go. I didn't want to react this way, and I apologize for hitting the table. I hope you have a safe flight back and that everything works out for you. I'm ready to let this go, and I don't want you to live your last days with this hanging above you so just know..I am okay..I am more than okay now..because I'm happy. I am love and have felt more loved in the past few months than I have my whole life..so don't feel bad for me..just worry about your family and live the rest of your life happy." Asher stood, his eyes meeting his father's as he nodded his head slightly and reached down to help me stand.

"Asher....I love you son..just..just know that." His dad added, making Asher freeze for a moment before grabbing my hand and pulling me to his side.

"Have a good evening." He added once more before continuing to walk out of the room. We started making our way down the hall when suddenly the sound of heels clicking sounded behind us as Asher's mom pulled his arm. Tears stained her cheeks as she looked up at her son.

"Asher..I'm sorry, I thought it was the only way. I never knew..I never knew you felt like this..I thought we were okay, I thought we were doing okay." She sobbed out, making Asher look down at his mom's hand before meeting her gaze once more. "We were surviving Mom..you were barely surviving so I had to be okay. But now, I'm really okay..you did the best you could and I love you. But I think I need some time to think.." He admitted, making her nod her head as she wiped her tears. "Okay, I understand, and Emery I'm sorry too..I hope this doesn't make you think poorly of me." She added shamefully as she looked down at her feet.

"I know you want what's best for your son, and I do as well..but I think being honest in the future will be the better route." I didn't want to chew her out necessarily..but let's be honest...that's about as brutal as I can get. Hey, it's an improvement! Before I would have brushed it off and apologized instead, so I call that progress.

"Let's go baby, I'm ready to go home." Asher said before wrapping his arm around my waist and walking me through the dining room. I couldn't help but sneak glances towards him as we made our way to the car. I didn't want to bring it up until he was ready to talk..he seemed to be deep in thought.

Asher opened the passenger door for me and lifted me in before shutting the door and sliding into the driver's side. Without saying a word he reached over and gripped my hand and then started the car and put it in drive.

I bit my lip anxiously, everything that happened racing through my mind as I watched the trees pass us by. Suddenly the sound of sobs filled the car, making me whip my head towards Asher as I saw tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Pull over baby." I said quickly, feeling the car jerk to the side of the road as he shifted it into park and placed his hands over his face..his body trembling as I unbuckled my seatbelt and climbed into his lap.

"Come here." I gasped, wrapping my arms around Asher's body, his hands sliding around my back as he pulled me tightly against him and buried his head to my chest, crying unlike ever before.

"It's okay, you have to let it out baby..you have to let this all out. I am right here..I am right here and I love you." I reassured him, my hands stroking his hair as we sat there together..we sat there for what felt like hours but I didn't care..I would sit here as long as he needed me. I held him like he needed to be held.

I whispered sweet words and reassured him that he was loved. I didn't know what would happen with Asher's dad..but I know hearing him apologize did something to Asher. It released something he had been holding and he needed this..he needed to know it was never him. That it was never because of who Asher was that his dad left..I don't know what our future holds..I don't know where we will be in ten years let alone two..but what I do know is I want it to be with this man..I want him to be my husband...to be the father of my kids..and I know without a doubt he will be the best at both..because you know what? He is Asher f*****g McNeal..one of a kind and loveable as hell..I just have to remind him of that every damn day..and I will...I will spend the rest of my life making up for the love he never got. Because he deserves it all.