If You Want Me (The Toronto Terror Series)
Chapter 18

Princess

Do you need anything from the store?

Hollis

It’s late and dark. Why are you going to the store?

Princess

It’s a two-minute walk. I need chips.

Hollis

What kind of chips?

Princess

The kind I don’t have in my apartment.

The team left for their away series two days ago, and Rix flew out to North Carolina this morning, which means Aurora is on her own this weekend. I don’t love the idea of her walking to the store in the dark.

Hollis

I might have what you need.

I send it before I consider how it reads.

The dots appear and disappear several times before a message pops up.

Princess

I think we’ve already established that, but in terms of chips, do you have all dressed or smoky bacon?

Hollis

I have both.

They’re her favorite, so I always keep some in the pantry for when she takes care of Postie and Malone.

Princess

I’ll be up in a few.

I check to make sure my deodorant is doing its job and my hair isn’t a mess. I shouldn’t care how I look or smell. I should also not be this excited to see her. But she’s been busy with school the past two days, so any interactions have been brief—and fraught with so much sexual tension, I feel like I’m choking on it.

Less than two minutes later, she knocks. Postie and Malone follow me to the door. Aurora stands in the hall with her banana duck bag slung over her shoulder, looking like the problem she is. She’s wearing slipper boots and a pair of sleep shorts that are barely visible because she’s wearing my favorite hoodie. She’s had it for weeks.

“Hi.” Her gaze moves over me. I’m wearing a T-shirt and jogging pants.

I try and fail not to allow the memory of how those lips felt on mine to surface. I clear my throat before I speak. “Hey. Come on in.” I move aside. I’m still on crutches for at least another week.

“I brought up a few meals from the freezer. I can put this stuff away and grab the chips and be out of your way.” She averts her gaze and tucks her hair behind her ear.

I hate that I’ve made it this way between us. I’m the one who keeps crossing the line and stepping back. We can hang out for a couple of hours. I can manage my hormones and my impulse control and avoid doing something that would result in Roman digging me a shallow grave.

“I was going to watch a movie, if you want to stay and keep me company,” I say. “Unless you have other plans.” The possibility that she might go out with that James kid again makes me want to punch something.

Her eyes flare. “I don’t have plans.”

My relief is instantaneous and problematic, but it’s too late to backtrack, and anyway, I don’t want to. Fighting the draw is exhausting. I’m tired of trying to keep all these walls up when it’s so damn easy for her to break them down. “Good. Come on.” I crutch my way to the kitchen. “Let’s raid my snack cupboard.”

Aurora puts the meals in the freezer, except for two, which go in the fridge. She follows me into the pantry. It’s big enough for the two of us, but my crutches make it a tight fit.

She surveys the shelves and pokes at a half-empty container of salted-caramel chocolates. “Looks like someone’s been eating his feelings.”

“I won’t be on the ice for a while, so I loosened the reins on my diet.”

She unscrews the lid and nabs a chocolate, biting it in half before she offers the rest to me. “These are so good, but they’re a lot.”

I pop the other half in my mouth as she puts the container back on the shelf.

She grabs a bag of smoky bacon chips and another of gummy worms. “Anything else look tempting to you?”

My gaze rakes over her. Yeah, tonight is going to be an exercise in restraint.

“You shouldn’t look at me like that if you don’t want me to get ideas, Hollis.”

“And how am I looking at you, Princess?”

She brushes by me. “Like I’m the snack.”

Lately I live for these moments, when all the uncertainty and awkwardness disappear and Aurora is her saucy, beguiling self.

Then she turns back, and her expression shifts. She looks worried. “I’m sorry. I just…don’t know where the lines are anymore. They keep moving, and I feel like I’m always two steps behind.”

“You’re not alone, Princess. I keep trying to stay inside them. It’s pretty fucking impossible.”

“Because I’m pushing your buttons,” she whispers.

“Yeah.” She doesn’t realize she doesn’t need to try to get my attention. She always has it. I grip my crutches, so I don’t reach out and tuck her hair behind her ear. “But I like it when you do.”

Her eyes lift, with hope I shouldn’t want lurking in them.

“Let’s just hang out and watch a movie and not pick apart whatever this is,” I suggest.

“Okay. That sounds good.”

Aurora pours a bowl of chips and fills another with gummy worms. Then she peers in the fridge, surveying my beverage options.

“There’s a bottle of riesling in there,” I say.

“Oh! My favorite.” She retrieves it. “Do you want a glass?”

“I’ll have a beer.” I prefer red to white, but again, I usually keep a bottle on hand for Aurora.

“Are you completely off the pain meds?” she asks as she retrieves a wineglass and uncaps a bottle of beer.

“Yeah. Just the occasional anti-inflammatory when I’ve been on my feet too long.” My knee is achy and sore, but I’d rather use cold compresses to manage the worst of it.

“That’s good. You started physical therapy this week, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll be hitting the pool a lot.” Low-impact workouts are the best way to get my range of motion back and strengthen the muscles around the injury.

“Do you want me to avoid the pool, then?”

“I should.”

She eyes me from the side. “Sounds like there’s a but attached to that.”

“I don’t want you to avoid me.” I miss my time with her. I miss her. She’s become one of the most important people in my life.

“I don’t want to avoid you, either.” She picks up the tray of snacks and carries it to the living room.

Last year when I couldn’t travel, she’d come over and watch the games. She’d tell me how excited she was to work with Hemi and the team, and how I’d be back on the ice by then, playing like the injury had never happened. For a while, she was right about all of it.

I lean my crutches against the back of the couch and take a seat. Aurora steps in with a pillow and tucks it under my injured leg.

“Would you like a cold compress?” Her hand rests on my shin.

The touch burns through my joggers, awareness waking up the rest of my body. “I’m good for now.” I pat the cushion beside me.

Aurora leaves a foot of space between us, crossing her bare legs. The shorts disappear under the hem of my hoodie.

I force my eyes away and grab the remote, scrolling to the movie channel. “What are you in the mood for?”

She runs her hands over her thighs, fingers curling over her bare knees. “Um…action would probably be safest. Or maybe horror.”

“You can’t stand horror movies. They give you nightmares.”

“Not all of them.”

I tap the back of the hand closest to me, where her nails dig into her knee. “You’re already bracing for jump scares. Let’s scroll and see what’s appealing.”

“Sure.” She keeps running her hands over her thighs. It’s hard to keep my eyes off them. I’m hyper aware of the space between us, of the way she smells, of how close I was to giving in to the urge to kiss her after I ruined her damn date.

We finally settle on an action movie—lots of car chases and revving engines. But it’s been a long time since I’ve watched this one, and I’d forgotten how much sex there is. So much fucking sex.

Every time another spicy scene, as Aurora calls them, plays across the screen, she crosses and uncrosses her legs. She also gulps her wine. And goes back to the kitchen for a second glass. I accept her offer of a second beer so I have something to hold on to.

Postie and Malone hop off the chair and follow her, expecting treats.

While she’s refreshing our drinks, I rearrange myself, tucking my erection into the waistband of my joggers and adjusting my shirt so it hides my problem. I stretch my arm across the back of the couch, trying to relax. I should probably stop the movie or change it to something else. But then I’d have to admit she’s getting under my skin.

When Aurora returns, the hoodie is unzipped, revealing a fitted T-shirt with Princess scrawled across the front. It’s a wonder she still has it since I bought it for her years ago. She drops down beside me, closer this time, and stretches her legs out, resting her slipper-covered feet on the coffee table. The back of her head rests against my forearm. She reaches over her shoulder, fingers grazing mine.

“Is my arm okay there?” I ask.

“It’s fine.”

Postie and Malone join us, but Malone decides to pull his air-hump move on the arm stretched across the back of the couch.

“No, dude. Why can’t you just be normal?” He bites me when I try to move.

“Must be something in the air tonight,” Aurora murmurs. She hops up, moving the blanket to his chair and pats it. “Come on, Malone. Your sexy girlfriend is right here, waiting for your love.”

“He’s such a weirdo.”

“At least he’s not humping his brother,” Aurora says with a smirk.

Malone takes the bait, and Postie climbs onto the arm of the chair, unfazed by Malone’s antics.

Aurora returns to her spot beside me. Every time one of us moves or passes the snacks, we gravitate closer. My fingers brush her shoulder. Hers graze my thigh when she reaches across me for the remote to adjust the volume. Every accidental brush makes me want more.

A better man would put some space between us. Someone less selfish would end this and tell her to go home. But I am not that man. Instead, when she tucks her hair behind her ear and our fingers brush again, I link mine with hers and pull her closer. Her skin is warm against mine, and I feel every shaky inhale as she settles against me. I don’t want to leave this moment where she’s suddenly mine. I could do this with her every night—cuddle on the couch, watch movies, talk. I could be the person she comes home to. The one she sleeps beside.

I turn my head and breathe in her honey, banana, and coconut shampoo.

“Are you sniffing me?” Aurora whispers.

“Shh… Just watch the movie.”

I catch her smile out of the corner of my eye as she snuggles deeper into my side. She fits so perfectly against me. I’m crossing all kinds of lines, but having her close like this makes me want to forget everything else.

Yet another sex scene flashes across the screen. They’re frantic hands and mouths, tearing at clothes, pushing, pulling, heavy breaths and desperate kisses.

Aurora slides a hand between her thighs. “Did you remember there being this much sex?”

I clear my throat. “I haven’t seen it in a long time.”

“Me neither. Probably not since high school.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to make a joke, but she pokes me in the ribs.

“No snide comments about how that probably feels like yesterday. I’ve been a high school graduate for almost half a decade.”

“I’ve been a high school graduate for more than a decade and a half.”

She makes an annoyed sound and starts to move away, but I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her against me. The movement catches her off guard, and her hand lands on my thigh. I drop my lips to her ear, relishing the closeness. “I’m not trying to be a dick, Aurora. I’m just stating facts.”

I loosen my hold, but her fingers wrap around my forearm. I’ve lost the will to fight it.

Her fingers glide along my forearm, and I break out in a wave of goose bumps as they drift over the back of my hand. “Is this okay? Are we okay?” she whispers.

“We’re okay.” I curl my fingers around hers.

The movie ends, and the streaming service previews the second in the series.

Her lips brush my wrist. “The movie’s over.”

I stroke the edge of her jaw. “You can stay for another one, if you want.”

She exhales a shaky breath. “I don’t want to push so much that you do something you regret and tell me it’s a mistake again.”

“I shouldn’t have said that.” I drop my head. “I’m responsible for my own actions.”

“What does that mean?” She tips her head, offering me access to her skin.

And I take it. I feel her pulse hammering against my lips. She smells so good, feels even better tucked against me like this. So I give her the truth, even if it’s damning. “It means I could have made a thousand different decisions, but I chose to kiss you.”

“Because I pushed you.” Her breaths come faster, unsteady.

“Because I let you.” I had every opportunity to walk away, but I didn’t. I kept telling her no, but everything I’ve done contradicts my words. The electric draw is impossible to deny.

I sweep the contour of her bottom lip with my thumb, and her tongue peeks out.

The next movie has started, but neither of us pays attention to it.

Part of me realizes if I don’t stop this, I could be exploding nearly a decade of friendship. But my career is circling the drain, my body is a fucking mess, and Aurora is the only thing that makes sense. And she’s right here—so warm, and alive, and beautiful. I want this one good thing. Fuck what’s right. Fuck blowing up my life.

I slip my thumb between her parted lips as her eyes lift.

I’m so screwed.

We both groan as her lips close around my thumb.

My cock kicks in my joggers. Her nails dig into my thigh.

She sucks, running her tongue over the pad. I remember every moment of that kiss. Remember how soft she was. How perfect she was. Is. I doomed myself by kissing her. I’ll never forget it, and there will never be another who can compare.

She moans my name as I sweep my thumb along her plush bottom lip.

I press my lips to her temple. I’ve rejected her too many times already. Hurt her more than I’ve meant to. I can’t do it again. I don’t want to. “What do you need, Princess?”

“I don’t know.” Her hand slides between her thighs. “I’m so achy.”

“Do you want me to help you with that?” Fuck the consequences. I’d give anything to touch her right now.

She sucks in a breath. “Hollis?”

I shift, dropping my feet to the floor. My knee is stiff from being straight for so long. I pat my lap. “Come here.”

She turns, eyes wide and uncertain, like she doesn’t quite trust me. It makes sense considering how hot and cold I’ve been.

I skim the outside of her left thigh. Her skin pebbles under my touch. “Is this okay?”

She nods, eyes searching mine.

I pat the space beside my right hip and wrap my hand around the back of her leg, above her knee, tugging gently. She follows the cue, straddling my lap.

“Am I okay here?” she asks.

I nod. “You’re perfect, and so fucking beautiful.” I tug the zipper the rest of the way down on the hoodie.

“So are you.” She shrugs out of the hoodie and drops it on the couch beside us. “What about your knee?”

“It’s fine,” I assure her. I can only feel her right now. Nothing else.

She’s braless again. Her T-shirt is tight, conforming to every curve, and threadbare, her peaked nipples visible through the pale, worn fabric. I run my hand up her bare leg and settle it on her hip. “Tell me where you ache.”

She trails a finger over her breast. “Here.”

I brush over the tight bud through the fabric. Her eyes flutter closed as she moans. It’s the same sound she made when I kissed her. And it’s fucking addictive. I want to be the only person she ever moans for like that.

“Anywhere else?”

Her eyes open, and she drags a shaking finger down her stomach, stopping at the apex of her thighs. “Here.”

I pull her forward until she settles over my straining erection.

“Oh.” Her eyes flare. “I feel you.”

“Don’t ever doubt that I want you, Aurora.” It’s as much apology as it is honesty. “Let me get rid of that ache for you.”

She nods. “Please.”

Our eyes drop as I move her up and down my cock through the barrier of our clothes. It should not feel this good, but hell if I don’t want more of her little whimpers and moans.

“I can’t believe this is really happening.” She runs her hand through my hair as we replace a rhythm. “I don’t think I’ve dry fucked since high school.”

My fingers dig into the soft, fleshy part of her ass as I level her with a glare. “Don’t talk about other dicks while I’m rubbing you on mine.” I am out of my mind with possessiveness when it comes to her.

A coy grin tips one side of her mouth, and she leans in until her lips are at my ear. “I like when you’re jealous.”

She has no idea. I slide my fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck, tugging as I rock her over me. “Such a little brat, aren’t you?”

Aurora leans back until our eyes lock. “You love it.”

“I fuckin’ do.”

“It’s better than I imagined,” she whispers.

I make a noise in the back of my throat as she drags her nails down the side of my neck and braces her hands on my shoulders. I could die with her hands on me, knowing it’s me she wants.

“I think about you all the time. About you touching me,” she admits. “In the shower, on this couch, in your bed, on your kitchen counter.”

“What else do you think about?”

“About your mouth on me.” She slides high, and the head pushes against her through layers of clothes. “How good it would feel to have your fingers inside me.” She rolls her hips. “What it would feel like to be fucked by you.”

If only she knew all the things I’ve dreamed of in the quiet dark of night.

She grabs her breast and tugs her nipple.

I cover the other with my mouth, sucking the tight bud through her shirt.

“Oh my God, yes.” She grips my hair at the crown and moans. “Please, oh God, I think—I think…I’m so close, Hollis. So close.”

She tries to move faster, so I tighten my grip, maintaining control. “Let it build.” I bite her through the wet fabric, and she groans.

“It’s so good,” she breathes. “How can it feel this good?”

I know what she means. I shouldn’t be close to any kind of edge, but the way she looks is unraveling me. Her cheeks are flushed, my hands molding to her soft curves, the heat of her pussy grinding all over my cock, her fingers in my hair. Her warm breath washes over my face with every moan. She’s mine. She belongs with me.

“Does it feel good for you too?” she pants.

“Better than good, Princess.”

She smiles at the praise.

“You’re a goddamn vision.” Mine. I adjust my grip, cupping her ass, fingertips meeting hot skin, close to all that warm and wet.

Her eyes roll up as her thighs start to shake. “I need, I need…” Her rhythm falters, and I take over, moving her faster and harder over my length. Adjusting my position so my good leg takes the weight.

She grinds down and throws her head back, one hand still fisting my hair, the other aggressively gripping her breast.

“That’s it. Chase it.” There’s no coming back from this. It’s so much bigger than stepping over the line. I’m obliterating it. I slide a hand around the back of her neck and press my thumb against her chin. “Look at me. Eyes on mine.”

They roll down, hazy and unfocused as they replace my face.

“That’s it. Good girl.”

Her mouth drops open, and a deep moan tumbles from her lips as she jerks and trembles. I feel the pulse of her pussy as I slide her up and down my cock.

And I’m right there with her, just holding back because I want to soak up every moment of this—commit it to memory in case this is the only time it happens. Because it should be a one-time thing. A never repeat. But she feels so damn good, so damn right. I don’t want anyone else to see her like this.

Her gaze sharpens. Her eyes search mine, and it’s as if she can sense how close I am. She grinds down on my cock, my face cupped between her palms. Her hair is damp at the temples.

Her breath breaks across my lips. But neither of us makes a move to kiss. Or take this any further.

“Do you think about me when you fuck your hand, Hollis? About what I did in your bed, and your shower?”

“All the fucking time. I can’t get you out of my head,” I admit. Months of images and filthy fantasies wash over me.

“Me neither, so I stopped trying.”

The orgasm slams through me, stealing my breath and my vision. My hips jerk, and my fingers dig into her skin.

Aurora grips my chin in her hand. “Let me see you.”

My eyes open. Her lips are a breath from mine. But still, she doesn’t claim my mouth. Her gaze roves over my face, drinking me in the way I did her. All the tension leaves my body, and I melt into the couch. Aurora sags against me, both of us breathing hard, the movie still playing in the background.

Reality filters in.

I just dry fucked my best friend’s daughter. And came in my pants. Like a teenager. I should feel like a giant bag of shit. And part of me does—the part that worries about what Roman would do if he found out. But a bigger part wants to do it again. Minus all the clothes. Take her. Claim her. Keep her.

Aurora is the first to move. She sighs and strokes my cheek as she leans back. “Thank you.”

“Au—”

She puts a finger to my lips. “Shh… Don’t say anything.” She pinches my lips together. “I’m going to leave so you can manage the mess you made.” She’s so pleased with herself as she pats my chest and carefully climbs off me.

She grabs the arm of the couch to steady herself for a second. “Is your knee okay?”

“It’s fine.” It aches, but that’s on me. “You should take the hoodie.”

Her eyes follow mine to her chest. Her left nipple is visible through her shirt, thanks to the huge wet spot. “I’ll grab one from the hall closet on my way out.”

I start to push up off the couch. “I can walk you.”

She raises a hand. “It’s better if you don’t. We both know you’ll open your pretty mouth and say something to ruin my afterglow.”

I rub my bottom lip and fight a smile.

“Thank you for the movie, Hollis.” She crosses to the closet and flips through my hoodies until she replaces one she likes. She sniffs the fabric before she shrugs into it and zips it up.

I like how it looks on her. So much. I also like that she wants to marinate in my smell. She pauses at the door and rolls her scrunchie off her wrist, sling-shotting it across the room. I catch it out of the air.

“I bought an extra, so you can do naughty things to that one until it stops smelling like my hair.” And with that, she turns around and walks out of my apartment.

Opening Pandora’s box has nothing on the massive crater I’ve just made for myself.