Just One of the Guys
Nineteen

Corbin

As soon as I walk through the entrance to the cafeteria, my eyes immediately zero in on him of their own volition. Without even looking for him I can replace him.

Apparently, when I'm thinking about him, my eyes have a mind of their own and seek him out. I must have Knox-dar or something.

Suddenly, the cool cafeteria is burning up, and I wish I could shed a few layers as I start to sweat. I have no doubt that I also look like a tomato.

A soggy tomato.

*Wouldn't that be a stewed tomato? *

Looking away, I focus on my feet and the floor beneath me, counting each step in an attempt to keep my mind off of Knox and how badly I wish things could be different.

I knew that going to that party as myself was a stupid idea. Had I not, Knox would have never met Averi, I wouldn't have gotten to know the sweet, sexy side of him. I wouldn't feel like my heart has been crushed as I glance over at him, not knowing how I'm supposed to still face him and not have the hurt that I'm feeling, the crushing, sick to my stomach, knife in my heart feeling from ending whatever was going on between Knox and me, be written all over my face. Walking up to the counter, I order my food, then step to the side, grabbing a drink and waiting for my food.

"Corbin" the lady at the counter announces after a few minutes.

Grabbing the tray of food, I look out across the room, trying to decide where to eat when I hear my name being yelled.

"Yo, Corbin!" Gentry says, waving me over and gaining my attention, along with the rest of the student body that's currently in the cafeteria with us.

I make my way through several tables, giving myself a pep talk the whole way about how I am strong and can do this. I faced the devil incarnate and survived, I can face this too. And with that last thought, I stop at our table and set my tray down at the only open spot left.

Which happens to be directly across from Knox.

"What's up, man? Not planning on sitting with us?" Gentry says as I unwrap my burger. "Haven't seen much of you lately."

*Remember, fake it until you make it.*

"I've been at the library a lot, studying. This damn physics class is kicking my ass and I am not ready for the damn exam coming up," I say, refusing to look over at the man across from me. *Can I just act as though he doesn't exist until the hurt is no longer there?*

Taking off the top bun, I begin adjusting the lettuce, tomato, and pickles, and then replace it, taking a bite.

Around my food I continue, "Pizits tan titz my atz."

The guys crack up at my jumbled words as I continue to eat.

Turning my attention to Colt and Gentry, who are sitting next to each other and closest to me on my left side, I ask, "What have y'all been up to," once I've swallowed my mouthful of food.

Movement across the table draws my attention and as much as I fight myself not to, I watch as Knox pulls his cell out and starts messing with it. A moment later, my phone vibrates with an incoming text.

I itch to read it, even though I shouldn't. I shouldn't be curious to know if it's from him or about what he's said if it is.

Determined to do the right thing, I turn my attention back to the guys next to me, ignoring the buzzing device in my back pocket as well as the man across the table from me.

"...ready for the game this Friday. We're going to kick Berkshire's ass!" Gentry says, giving Colt a high five, "Our boy Knox here better bring his A-game and not be distracted like he was the entire practice earlier."

"Mate, you know I don't bloody play around on the court," Knox says, drawing my attention back to him. "Where was your head at? That's not like you at all." Colt asks as the whole table turns their attention to Knox. Knox just shakes his head, but his smirk tells me that his mind is back on whatever distracted him in the first place.

"It's that chick, isn't it?" Wesley follows up, "Ye got it bad for her or what?"

Gentry just snorts a laugh, "Ain't no female gonna tie Knox down, that's not how our boy rolls."

I, along with everyone else look back at Knox, waiting with bated breath for his answer.

With his jaw clenching and unclenching in anger, he just gives Gentry a look that says *shut the hell up*, Gentry doesn't heed the warning and continues, "everyone knows that once a girl gives it up, you drop her and are onto bangin' the next one. Our boy is a playa, havin' chicks beggin' for his dick."

Dropping the fry that I was fixing to eat back to my plate, the burger sitting in my stomach turns.

Knox doesn't even deny it.

I don't know why I thought that I would have been different. I'm sure all the girls think that they're the ones who will make him want to change his player ways. *I'm just one of many.*

"Dude! Just leave the guy alone. As long as Knox's head isn't in his ass it's none of our damn business." Colt butts in.

Knox just nods but doesn't say anything more.

"Have you thought that maybe this one's different? When have you known him to not talk about his flavor of the week?" Colt asks, daring Gentry to keep going. "That's a bunch of crap," Gentry grumbles, stealing a few fries off my abandoned plate.

I push it over to him, watching Knox's facial expressions, hoping to glean some kind of a read on what's going on in that head of his, his dark eyes giving nothing away.

The only indication of anything is the clenching and unclenching of his jaw. He doesn't say anything for or against Gentry's claims about him.

"Will she be there?" Colt asks Knox barely loud enough for me to be able to hear the question. I'm listening, trying to hear Knox's responses. I highly doubt that Gentry and Wesley are paying any attention since they are carrying on their own conversation now.

"To the game against Berkshire?"

At Colt's nod, Knox sighs, saying, "I don't know, maybe?"

Shrugging his shoulders, he turns his attention back to his phone, effectively putting the subject of me to rest.

My phone buzzes in my pocket again, and this time I have no doubt it's him messaging me.

I spend the rest of dinner in quiet reflection as some of the other guy's voices blend into the background noise.

Knox stays silent as he finishes eating and once he's done, he stands up to dump his tray, then leaves without a word to the rest of us.

It's not long before I follow his actions and head back to my apartment.