Knowing Jude
Chapter 44

"I finally managed to get an appointment with Julia, Saturday morning at ten, so cancel any plans you might have," my mother says on the evening of the Thursday that marks the end of one week since school closed.

I'm passing through the kitchen to the back when she says this, so I stop in my tracks. "Julia?"

"Julia," she expounds. "Doctor Ings. Ring a bell?"

My insides freeze because the only Doctor Julia Ings I know around is a gynaecologist. "Why?" I whisper, feeling the anger that has been a constant feeling on my radar awaken.

One week later, Jude still hasn't found anything incriminating on Maria. Not surprising since she has been quite the golden daughter of late, running errands, not staying out later than six in the evening, and putting the library in the house to use for the first time since we were in lower primary school. She's being extra cautious, and the longer she keeps up the good girl act the longer I continue to suffer.

Coming fifth overall in the end terms didn't help my case in any way, even with my supposed partner in crime coming first. You would think great grades would be taken as a reflection of great behaviour.

"I can't always be around to keep you in line, so I just want to make sure you're safe in case of anything," Mum tells me.

I'm not dumb, so it doesn't take two guesses to know exactly what Mum is talking about. She's afraid she's going to have a teenage Mum in her hands. I would tell her she's looking at the wrong candidate, but she wouldn't listen. I even had Lilian talk to them, they said she wouldn't really know because she hasn't been around constantly since she completed high school.

I know one thing though I'm not going to get my privacy crept upon by anyone. What are they planning, to put me on birth control? Maybe to confirm whether I'm sexually active?

"I'm not coming," I say.

Mum looks up from the chopping board, a deep frown on her face. "What did you say?"

"I won't see her. I do not need her services."

"Avery, this is not a choice."

"It is. I won't go. Really, haven't you shown your distrust enough?"

"This is for your own-"

"Good? Yeah right. Okay. It's my good, I don't want it."

I turn around and head back into the living room. I can hear her calling after me, demanding that I get back there, but I don't stall as I make my way to the front door.

I call Simon halfway to his house. I'm on Trey's bicycle that I found propped against the porch.

"Are you at home?" I ask the moment he picks up.

"No. Why?"

"Shit, I'm halfway there... Where are you?"

"At Isaac's. You can come here instead if you don't mind? His mother and sister are out of town. And what are you doing out at this time anyway, or is that curfew thing over?"

"I wish. Long story. I'm on my way."

"Okay, fine."

I hang up and increase my pace.

I'm breaking curfew and I'm not planning on getting back to that house anytime soon. Thank God boarding school isn't an option for me. Besides, what I just said to Mum is true. I'm not seeing that doctor. And if I'm going to suffer repercussions for that, I believe whatever I get for this running out will pale in comparison.

When I get to the Fords, I see Simon has sent me a text.

When you get here come straight up to Isaac's room.

I've been here and at Simon's with both of them enough times to know they're in the middle of some video game, the fun of which coming to the front door would ruin.

I prop the bike against the porch and take a minute or two to catch my breath. I look at Jude's house and wonder whether he's home. I get into the house finally and make my way to the kitchen where I have a much-needed glass of water. Then I take the steps leading upstairs one at a time, feeling a little tired.

Isaac's room is the first after the landing, and I give it a soft knock before entering. Not that they would hear with headphones blasting into their ears. I push the door open slowly.

And almost have a heart attack.

I jump and gasp, loud enough to have the two boys in front of me untangling from each other.

"Sorry, shit, I'm so sorry," I apologise hurriedly, backing away and pulling the door shut.

I stand in the hallway, red with embarrassment.

That was Isaac, shirtless, and Jon.

Making out.

Jon. Simon could have mentioned he was here!

And Jon and Isaac... Since when?

The door is pulled open from the inside and Jon appears.

"Hey, Jo. Come inside before Simon gets you here and wonders why you look like you've seen a ghost."

A smile is playing on his lips all the while. He looks thoroughly amused at my reaction.

"Sorry about that," I apologise, walking through the door. "I should have knocked harder."

"It's fine," he says, closing the door.

Isaac now has his shirt on and is combing through his hair with his fingers. His face is flushed and I can't help noticing his slightly swollen lips.

Looks I interrupted some steamy stuff.

"Hey Jo," he greets, giving me a shy smile.

"Uh, hi. Simon said he was here?" I ask in uncertainty since I can't see him anywhere in the room.

"He's in the bathroom."

"Oh."

I continue standing near the door as if I'm glued there. Jon takes my hand on his way past and leads me to the bed. "Come on in."

In the back of my mind, I note down two important things.

I just saw Jon making out with someone and I didn't feel jealous or any sort of heartache.

Two. He's holding my hand-for like the first time ever-and there's a complete absence of delighted shivers coursing through my skin.

If I had not completely rested the debate on whether or not I'm over my crush on him, I think this is the last nail on that particular coffin.

"Sorry about that," Isaac mutters, moving as I take a seat on the bed.

Jon settles in an armchair in the room and watches Isaac, a little smile on his lips, eyebrow raised. Isaac pays extra attention to his messy curls.

It's too cute.

"It's cool," I reply. "I didn't know you're gay though."

He nods. "Uh, yeah."

I never saw that coming. But then again I've not been seeing a lot of things coming of late. Maybe this is what he fought with his father about? I wonder about his relationship with Jon but keep my mouth shut. Maybe Simon can feed me the bits later.

"So, uh, don't mention it to Simon, yeah? About what you saw," Isaac adds quietly.

I look between them. Jon is looking at Isaac, Isaac is staring at the duvet.

"Oh, he doesn't know?"

"No, and he wouldn't care," Jon says, still watching Isaac.

Isaac only shakes his head.

"Whenever you're ready," Jon tells him.

I feel like I'm intruding on a private conversation. The door is pushed open and Simon comes into the room.

He grins widely when he sees me. "Oh, you're here. So, what the fuck did you do this time?"

*

"You know those people can check whether you're a virgin or not."

"What? How? No, forget I asked that. It doesn't matter, I'm not going. Nobody can force me into something like that!"

"Bet she wants you on birth control or something like that."

"Yeah. Keep your voice down dammit!" I whisper harshly, throwing a furtive glance at the door. Isaac or Jon could walk in any time. Isaac went downstairs for more snacks, Jon said he was visiting the bathroom. Ahem. I'm not about to broadcast my upcoming appointment, that's too embarrassing.

Not that I'm going.

Simon lays back on the bed, legs crossed and arms spread. "Jude still hasn't found anything against Miss. Little Bitch?"

"Oh, Maria's being extra careful, alright. But she's going to slip, I know. One of these days."

I hope...

"And Nicki? Talked to her?"

"Not since Monday. She said the network reception at her grandma's place is horrible."

"I don't think she really minds, there is a variety of landscapes to paint down there. Helps with keeping distance from Cole too, yeah?"

"Yeah."

The only reason Nicki and I still talk is because Cole swallowed his pride and explained what happened that night to her.

The 'I was wasted and kinda pounced on her, it wasn't her fault' version of explanation. Then added the 'they couldn't be together' speech, as if doing damage control for any points his apology on my behalf could have earned him with Nicki. Now Nicki is visiting her grandparents with some of her cousins some two hundred miles away, hoping the distance will help clear her mind.

I would love a trip to my grandparents right about now and come back a day before school opens.

"So there's this killer party happening tomorrow but I should probably not mention that to you." "Which you just did," I mutter drily. "Whose?"

He shrugs. "I don't really know, just got invited and I'm not missing it."

"Keep sneaking out, Simon. You'll get caught soon."

My phone vibrates and I sigh. Mum has called me twice; Trey has texted like a million times already.

I think he's more interested in my act of rebellion than he is concerned about my whereabouts.

I pick up my phone anyway.

Going to come say hi?

My brow creases. I check the sender and it's not Trey. It's Jude.

"I, my dear, am not going to get caught," Simon claims. "It's eight, Jo. Maybe you should get back, the later you stay away the worse it becomes."

I crawl towards his head and show him Jude's text. "I think Jude saw me arrive here."

Simon shakes his head. "You go to see him and word gets to your parents, talk about shit hitting the fan."

"It already has, and remember I don't care? He might even give me a ride home. Besides, we need to look over our strategy."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, excuses to go see lover boy. No one is stopping you, dear. Go ahead."

I clobber him in the back of his head.

"How long is it taking Isaac to get those snacks anyway?" he complains, sitting up.

I wonder too...

I climb from the bed, texting Jude back.

Me: You home?

Jude: You're coming?

Me: You want me to come?

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A loud sigh breaks the silence, warm breath hitting the back of my neck, bringing my attention to Simon's blatant unashamed spying.

"I swear you two sound like two lovesick idiots who are too shy to reveal their feelings yet."

I shove him back as my phone vibrates again.

Jude: Why else would I have asked in the first place?

I roll my eyes and shove my phone in my shorts' pocket. Since I left home in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, the cold is biting. Isaac appears in the doorway, carrying a large box of pizza. "Finally," Simon groans and steps forward to take the box away.

"Isaac, can I borrow a sweater?"

"Yeah, sure," he responds, heading towards his closet. He comes back seconds later with a black hoodie.

"Thanks, I'll see you guys."

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah..."

"I'll give you a ride "

"Don't bother, Ford. She's going to see her lover boy next door."

"Fuck you Simon."

"Any day baby."

I groan and turn back to Isaac. "I'm going to say hi to Jude, I'll ask him for a ride."

Isaac nods. "Okay, fine. Text when you get home safe."

"I will," I promise, giving him a hug and flipping Simon off.

I run into Jon in the doorway, he's carrying cans of coke.

Now, you don't get those in the bathroom, do you?

"Leaving already?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"Too bad, we should hang out more."

Okay, so he's not looking at me as intensely as he used to back when he really used to stare at me but that statement messes with my head.

'We' as in me, him and the boys, or 'we' as in me and...him?

You just saw him making out with his probable new boyfriend, what makes you think he's hitting on you?

I nod enthusiastically. "Yeah, I'd love that."

After all, I could do with a few hot friends...

Jude is waiting on his porch lying in a lounger when I get there. He's all dressed up as if he has somewhere to be.

"That's your new gang?" he asks, nodding towards Isaac's house.

I roll my eyes. "Hi to you too, Jude."

"What're you doing here anyway, don't you have that curfew thing going on?" he echoes Simon's words, while his eyes check out my outfit.

"My mother was talking about seeing a gynaecologist and I just..." I clamp my mouth shut at the sight of his elevated brow. Damn, I don't think it's a good idea to tell Jude about that.

He lets out a small laugh. "Are you serious?"

"No, forget I said that."

He rises from the lounger. "But you did. When are you going?"

"I'm not going," I say, leaning against one of the porch pillars.

"Oh?" he asks, his tone challenging.

"You don't think I have the balls to refuse?"

He shrugs. "Maybe."

"Watch this space."

"Watching."

I sigh. "Where're you going, anyway?"

He's wearing blue jeans and a white and red plaid shirt over a white tee, and it's like looking at a different version of Jude, not the one in dark clothing with no speck of colour in sight. "Do you want to come and see?"

I think about it. I consider following Jude wherever but I think it would be in my best interest if I don't get back home way past midnight.

"Next time. Right now I think I should head home."

"Cool. Do you need a heavier coat? You're shivering so bad."

I look down at myself. "It's my bare legs."

He looks down at my legs then stalks past me. "Come on."

He leads the way down the front stairs and I follow him to his car parked in the street. He unlocks the car and reaches into the backseat, emerging with the same coat that Cole lent me before. "Thanks," I say, putting it on. "How's Cole by the way?"

"You could ask him," he replies in a clipped tone.

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I don't let that faze me. "Trouble in paradise?"

He gets into the driver's seat. "Get in the damned car, Jo."

I sit in the passenger seat, huddled up in his warm coat. I get comfortable and cross my legs on the seat, earning an amused glance from him.

"I might have good news in the next two days, depending," he says as he starts the car. "Unfortunately, you might have to go through that appointment."

"Good news? Have you got anything on her? And I repeat, I'm not going to that appointment," I insist stubbornly.

He eases the car onto the street then we're cruising at a pace that's not as fast as he usually goes.

"One of her friends is throwing a pool party on Saturday afternoon. Perfect for her to go without raising any suspicions since it's during the day."

I turn in my seat to face him fully. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. There'll be drugs and all sorts of shady stuff going on, and I'll be watching."

I can feel myself getting excited, I can almost taste my freedom. "What if she sees you? She wouldn't do "

"I have eyes, okay?" he reassures me. "This shit will be over soon, and just in time."

"For?"

"I might or might not have a couple fashion shows to grace some place abroad?"

"What? Seriously?"

"I'm getting big, baby."

I tsk, but I can't control the big smile on my face because I feel happy for him. "I don't think it's good for your ego."

He throws me a wink. "It'll survive."

"So, how long will you be gone?"

"Until just before school reopens. FOR THE LAST FUCKING TERM!" he whoops after that round of yelling, slamming his hand on the steering wheel in sync.

I laugh. "I get it, calm down now."

"No, you don't. I can't wait to leave this place behind. Forever."

"Eager to move out?"

"I've wanted to for years, and I was going to when I turned eighteen but I decided to stay, just for Jade. She knows I'm hitting the road once I complete school, however."

"And leave everybody else behind? What about Cole?"

His jaw ticks. "What about him?"

"He's your best friend, how do you feel about leaving him behind?"

He's silent for several seconds, then finally shrugs. "I'm leaving the only sibling I love behind, Jo. Doesn't that in itself say something?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"There's a reason I've been working my ass off at school, Jo. At football too. Perfect grades and good sportsmanship can get me a scholarship to do whatever course I want wherever I want because dear Daddy cut me off the moment I turned eighteen and I can't go running to him for fees and stuff anymore." He pauses. "Not that I would."

"Why would he do that?"

"Because he hates the fact that I was even born?"

"Jude..." I lean over and tuck a stray strand of his hair back in with the rest. "Why?"

His eyes flick to me, then back to the road. I feel the car gain a spurt of speed smoothly. I'm not complaining, it feels ecstatic. However, I realise it might be a ploy to get to mine fast and avoid giving any explanations. Sometimes Jude makes

me feel like he's going to lay everything in the open, then he stops. It's almost as if he wants to let it all out but isn't sure about trusting me.

"If everything goes right, I'll see you on Sunday, okay?" he says finally.

"Okay," I agree.

If everything will be fine by Sunday... It's a liberating thought. At least I now have something positive to look forward to.

He pulls to the curb minutes later, a little ways from my house. Can't have my alleged partner in crime dropping me off at my door now, can we?

Jude turns towards me, arms resting on the steering wheel. "Look, get back in there and be a good girl, okay? You got nothing to lose."

"Let me guess, being a good girl entails letting Mum lead me to the doctor like a sheep to the slaughter?"

He nods, giving a small smile that I'm not sure whether to label as encouraging or mocking. "And maybe apologising for your little act of truancy."

My eyes widen. "What?"

"Yes." I hear the door lock on my side spring. "Go."

"Why would I even apologise?" "Because it's what good girls do. Put in a tear or two." He makes a crying face and adopts a girly voice. "Mummy, please. I was just so mad, I've not done anything wrong, I swear." He pauses. "Something along those lines. Might thaw her a

little. It's what Maria did, yeah? Put in a few tears and acted all innocent. Put on a show too and claim your innocence." He leans towards me, blue eyes latching onto mine. "Trust me."

"Okay," I agree, nodding, but I'm getting breathless all of a sudden because he's still leaning towards me. I stare at him, frozen even though in my chest my heart is drumming away like crazy. I blink.

No, I'm overthinking. Why would Jude...

He stretches his arm at the last moment and pulls me into a hug.

I'm stiff as a board.

"Scared?” he whispers, misunderstanding my stiffness. He rubs his hand up and down my back slowly.

I swallow hard and hug him back, resting my head on his shoulder like that's where it belongs.

"No, I'm fine."

He can't hear the exaggerated beating of my heart, can he?