MANIPULATIVELY TURNED AS OUR STORY
CHAPTER 37

I couldn’t take risks; the wound needed to heal, and I looked pale. These were enough to alarm Ana regarding the incident, so once I was discharged, I went to my sister’s place.

It’s been a week, and I have recovered somewhat, but not completely. I was missing everyone like hell; Ana was pregnant again; and if I am not mistaken, after waking and before sleeping, she was cursing me to the core. Aaron was completely over that incident. Doctor visits worked very well. I miss his face and chubby cheek, and my newborn, who was a mixture of me and Ana, got most of my features once again, which only made Ana even more jealous. She was not getting where the hell she was going wrong.

When I was in my thoughts my sister joined me, “You are thinking deeply, are you ok”, “Missing my family”, “What?”, “Missing Aaron and Aarav”, “I heard the word ‘family’’, “Yeah we are kind of right”, “But you are not, so don’t mention the word family, you and Ana have different lives everything will change once you get your perfect partners”, “Right”, “Why are you annoyed”, “I don’t know everything is annoying these days, like every fucking thing”, “ Is it because of Patricia”, “Why the hell I will think of her, it’s about Ana I am not getting where the hell I was going wrong, I am at my best behavior, not fucking arguing with her, caring, what not, she doesn’t give a dam about me or anything related to me, that fucking annoying me”, “Why she should give a dam about you only because she is a mother of your child”, “Not just because of that”, “Than why the hell she should Ran, what are you trying to say can you be more clear”, “I am not getting sis, I am not getting anything”.

We were silent. I am really not getting anything these days. Why the hell was I pissed by the words of Ana? It never affected me before. Why the hell now?

“You are trying to cross the boundary which you have set”, “What?”, “Are you annoyed for no reason”, “As I said I don’t know sis, like really I don’t, a few things started frustrating me for no reason, “Hmmm, maybe the case is you are not ready to accept the reason for your frustration”, “What, what I am trying to deny”, “ I don’t know, you tell me why are you suddenly annoyed and frustrated”, “I don’t know”, “Ok, but be prepared for coming days this knocking thing won’t work out for a long term, you have to set your mind on so-called co-parenting thing”, “Why are you suddenly reminding me this”, “Because I am not getting what are you trying to prove by knocking Ana, again and again, what’s your bloody intention, is it only for Aaron and Aarav, that’s it”.

That only made me question myself; that’s it? only for Aaron and Aarav. Yeah, I love them to the core, but why the hell do I need Ana in the picture? Why am I ready to unturn every fucking stone just to make sure that she is stuck with me forever? She is fucking nothing, doesn’t have anything, and doesn’t meet any of my fucking expectations, not even one. Why the hell am I doing every fucking thing? This is crazy. I am fucking crazy.

“Ran, what are you thinking now?” “Please don’t mess up my mind; can’t you let things be as they are? I don’t want any complications.” “Exactly neither do I; my sincere request is don’t pursue Ana; this time things won’t work out in your way. Ran, trust me, don’t.” “What do you mean, sis? I don’t get any feelings for Ana; she is the mother of my kids; that’s why I am trying my best to make her stay with me; that’s it.” “Ok, she is the mother of your kids, so as you had agreed before, work out the co-parenting thing; rather than that, why are you working out something else?” “I am content with my life and my family; I want to keep it that way; is it wrong?“; “For now agreed, what about the coming days, what about the future? You are only forcing her and making her stay with you; are you getting that? You can force someone to some extent.” “What do you think I should do? I am very happy. I have never been so much in my life.“; “Come again.”.

I was silent, rewinding the same sentence over and over in my mind, which unknowingly left my mouth, and I was in shock. I was damn happy with everything; what the hell does one require more than this happy family? I was feeling content because I was feeling fucking happy about everything, and the responsible person was Ana.

Every fucking thing started hitting my mind which I promptly ignored these days, why the hell I chose her in the first place, why, why, why, I couldn’t replace any answer when I thought of getting rid of Patricia I chose Ana, in fact no one else came to my mind because she was always in my mind but I kept running behind my expectation which had blindfolded me from everything, her smile, annoyance, yelling, pathetic expressions, clumsiness, naïve idiot who got knocked twice didn’t guess my purposeful act yeah she got her doubt which was totally baseless.

I was shaken up by this latest discovery.

“Ran, what the hell with your gloominess?” “I am feeling suffocating.” “Because you realized the fact that you ignored these days?” “You knew,′ “I had my doubts when you kept knocking her, I confirmed”.

My mind was in turmoil; everyone around me kept hinting at me and giving various indications, which I ignored because of my ego, and my expectations blocked my eyes.

“What should I do now, I was fucking idiot”, “Yes you were, once again I am reminding you don’t pursue her Ran, you don’t like the outcome trust me”, “Why not, I have dated so many girls I never felt anything as I felt with Ana, of course, I didn’t realize but why not, what’s wrong I won’t let go of her”, “I am sorry but you have insulted her too much when you were blindfolded by your expectations, you don’t have any rights to do that, you had us, your family who supported you in every step so you succeeded, can you really compare yourself with Ana, who was a fucking single worrier throughout her life, alone she survived, completed her education and got a stable job, no one was there to support her not even a relative, not knowing names of parents’ name growing, dealing with every fucking thing, surviving in this environment do you think it’s easy, do you think you could have survived if you were in her place, think about it”.

Yes, she was absolutely right. Every fucking word I had spat on her face without giving a second thought when she confessed her feelings—every fucking word—made her question her existence. I didn’t have any rights. I could have politely rejected her, but my ego and pride didn’t let that happen. How the hell was I going to pursue her? That rejection has totally destroyed her, and her opinion of me has completely changed after that incident.

“Ran, trust me, don’t; you will end up getting rejected.” I know, but I had my own fucking reasons.

"Sis, what do you think might be the reason for running behind my expectations? Why was I adamant about reaching my expectations? I was fucking afraid of falling and had no one to depend on. Yeah, I was a self-centered bastard, but I had my own reasons. Through you people, I reached a level. I was always dreadful to fall and to fall alone. I wanted someone to depend on. I wanted to feel secure, and the only way I was thinking of replaceing it was through my partner. Was I wrong? I didn’t want to struggle the same way. I didn’t want my family to go through the same thing. Not anymore. I was self-centered, blindfolded by every fucking thing. I only got to know I could overcome everything if they were by my side.”.

We both started crying; we had been through so many things and lots of struggles. She knows everything that I have gone through, which I never kept to myself; rather, she would always make sure that I spitted everything with her.

“What should I do now? I am not getting it. I have told her so much on her face.” “I know; I know I am not getting it. I don’t think she would forgive that easily.” “You are not helping.” “Take your chances. That’s it.” “What?” , “Try your luck Ran don’t propose her directly, win over her who knows you end up being lucky but prepared”, “Wow you are encouraging”, “If I had been in Ana’s place I would never face you ever again, how the hell she ended up getting pregnant beyond my thinking”, “Let’s not dig old things, so what should I do”, “I can’t teach you each and every fucking thing use your bloody brain do something, win over her simple yet complicated”, “She is complicated”, “Every woman are complicated in their own way, don’t worry you will get through her, my poor Ana”, “I should act soon right, I can’t waste any more time she fucking hate me to her core how the hell I am going to make her fall for me, again, it fucking looking dangerous as it’s Ana”, “Yeah, it is after you spatted so many things”, “Please will you stop pulling, I am worried mess over here I want a sincere advice”, “My sincere advice pursue her prepared for every outcome, if you are lucky you will end up with Ana, a happy family or else you will end up in a bar and I am going to come to clear your mess for giving my shoulder so that you can cry over whole heartedly”, “Seriously stop talking, I am not letting that one to escape from me not that easily, I am going to my home and thanks for everything”, “Why, you are not yet recovered”, “This will recover what about my fucking heart, that one is eagerly waiting to break into million pieces”, “I definitely agree with you”, “Like seriously sis stop it, deliver my cloths when you visit us ok”, I made my way towards my home without waiting for my sister reply.

I entered the house, Aan was sitting on the couch watching TV, as soon as she saw me, came running towards me with a broad smile, “Where were you I was worried sick no call nor message”, “Oh you were worried about me”, “Yeah, you can’t knock me and escape, you got responsibility and Aaron was daily asking like million times I was fed up by answering him, where the hell were you”, “It doesn’t concern you tell me something you gave a smile when I entered was it real or fake one”, “What”, “I am asking your smile towards me was real or fake one”, “What happened to you, are you ok”, “Can’t you answer the dam question forget it I know the answer, where is Aarav”, “In his room just now he slept”, “And Aaron”, “School, he will be back in an hour”, “Yeah ok”, “What is wrong with you are you ok, why you won’t answer my dam questions”, “I got headache don’t disturb me” With that, I made my way to the room.

“What is wrong with him”, Mrs. Nelson was watching our show I turned towards her and raised the question, “Mood swings”, “How come, I should be having one right on top of it I am carrying twins I should get a hell of mood swings why the hell he is in one”, “That’s what I am trying to think, you both are complicated in your own way”, “That’s not fair why everyone always involves me with him, he is complicated not me”, “Trust me dear you both are”, “He didn’t even answer my question”, “He just entered let him calm”, “I answered his every dam question why the hell I won’t get the same response, I should ignore him right Mr. Nelson”, “Dear, best of luck with that, don’t stress too much go and take a rest”.

Aaron was back from school. I informed him about Randolph’s arrival. He was beaming with a smile, and the next second, his legs were making it toward Randolph. I caught him in time. “He is in his office. He may be busy with his work. Let him come outside.” “I am going to give Dad a hug. That’s it, mom. Leave me. I won’t disturb, I promise.” The hell with their bonding. By freeing his hand from my grip, he ran towards his office room. I hate both of them.

Randolph prepared the dinner, and we were having the same. The smile that I was getting from Aaron was totally different from the one he had been giving for the past few days. I was just asking them to act in front of me. Can’t they show less of their bonding in front of me? Until when they were trying to piss me off. I am not going to suck this like, no, never.

After having dinner, we made our way to our respective rooms. After making sure Aaron and Aarav slept, Randolph entered the room and was lying beside me. From the time he had returned, he was showing cold shoulders towards me. What the hell had I done to him? I am bloody pregnant, and he is showing the signs.

He was lying by showing his back, and I was irritated to face the same, I should remove it somehow, “This is not fair I am pregnant and you are getting mood swings, you can’t steal my pregnant rights this way, don’t you think”, in return, I only heard laughter from him which was mesmerizing and let me remind him I am dam serious, he turned, now he was facing me, “What is your bloody problem if I talk, if I don’t for everything you got a problem”, “I am concerned about my ‘rights’”, “Well I am not pregnant and I can’t steal it”, “Well then stop showing cold shoulders towards me, it’s kind of annoying I should be the one doing that”, “What the hell you have left for me, please tell me”, “That was sarcastic right”, “Oh you are genius”, “Knock it off will you I am dam pregnant don’t try to get best out of me and I mean it, I am already bearing too much don’t stress me more”, “What are you bearing baby”, “Your bonding with Aaron, it’s frustrating and irritating”, “Like really when are you going to suck this up”, “Like never”, “One day you will baby”, “Don’t baby me”, “Right sleep now it’s late”, “You are not going to answer anything right”, “Nope, you know right I hate you so much”, “So many things need to be changed God Damit, coming days will be hell for me”, “What do you mean”, “Ana trust me don’t use your brain too much for today it has reached maximum level sleep now will you”, by groaning I moved as far as I could from him, but at last I ended up on his shoulder, dam this bastard.