My Mate Is An Omega
Chapter 40

Jasper POV

It was around two o'clock in the morning when I heard insistent knocks on my door.

At first, I decided to ignore it, simply putting the pillow over my head. It was past my usual bedtime, and considering I would have to be up in four hours for training, I'd rather get as much sleep as possible. I had just gotten back to my room after a quickie with one of the female warriors who approached me at the party. She wanted me to spend the night with her in her cottage, but I had to dismiss her offer. When it came to fooling around with she-wolves, I had a strict set of rules I always followed, and neither of us getting attached to each other was at the top of my list..

The minutes went by, but the person on the other side of the door didn't want to go away at all. For a brief moment, I thought it could be some kind of emergency, but I quickly dismissed the possibility. If that was the case, someone would have certainly linked me. Maybe it could be one of the girls I had slept with wanting a rerun - if so, I should definitely stay in bed. However, it didn't take long for me to realize it would be impossible for me to get any rest as long as she stayed there.

Frustrated, I got up ready to send her away in a not so polite way, but I wasn't prepared to replace her, out of all people, standing outside.

"Sasha?" I rubbed my eyes, convinced I must be delusional - but then again, a single cup wasn't enough to make me imagine things. The strong smell of alcohol that soon hit me proved she was real. "Holy Goddess! Have you been drinking?" The second I noticed the bottle in her hands, she stumbled onto my chest. Thanks to my werewolf reflexes, I was able to hold her before she fell down. "s**t. You're completely wasted!" My eyes widened as soon as I noticed her half-open eyes. Was this really Sasha, the perfect Gamma's daughter?

"Can we go for a... a walk?" she blurted out, wobbling her feet as she hopelessly tried to stand back up.

"Can you even walk right now?" I huffed, taking a quick look around. Hell, what was I supposed to do with her? I definitely couldn't let anyone see her like this. Whatever led her to this state, I knew she would be devastated if she became the talk of the pack. "f**k! Come in. You can stay here until you're feeling better."

I quickly pulled her inside, helping her sit by the bed. She seemed distracted by her surroundings, so I took the opportunity to grab the bottle from her hand before she could destroy herself even more. If she had gotten this far, she certainly wouldn't stop now. "This used to be my father's room..." she observed, catching my attention. I had only left her for a second while I put the wine away, but when I turned around, she was almost falling to her side. Thankfully, I reached her before she ended up hitting her head, placing my hands on her shoulders to hold her in place. I had a feeling this was going to be one hell of a long night. "I used to live here when I was younger."

"I would expect so. Your father was the Gamma after all." For long seconds, she just stared at me while I tried to figure out what was going on inside her head.

"Why don't you let people see how amazing you really are?"

"What?!" I widened my eyes, completely caught off guard.

"You know exactly what I mean! Don't try to fool me." She furrowed her brows. "You hide behind this manwhore façade and let everyone think you're just a lazy a*s who will never amount to anything." Damn. Those were some pretty strong words for a drunk woman. My heart beat faster as I tried to come up with something. I couldn't tell her the truth, but how could I avoid the question? The pressure of her clear blue eyes locked on mine made me feel cornered, as if I had nowhere to run to. s**t! Think, think... "Where's my bottle?!" she suddenly yelled, almost making me jump back. I closed my eyes in relief, saved by her drunken mind.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" I finally said after I managed to calm myself down.

"Really, Jasper? I thought you were the life of the party!" she complained.

"Yeah, but I know my limits, and you clearly don't know yours," I scolded her.

She stayed silent for a minute, so I decided to move her to the back of the bed. If she leaned against the headboard, I wouldn't have to keep holding her. I noticed her eyes were starting to close; hopefully, she would be out soon and we both would be able to rest. When she started to inch closer to my face, I thought she was just losing balance again. I tried to gently pull her back, but she pressed forward, finally making me realize her true intentions. Our lips were inches away when I turned away in a swift movement. Did she just try to kiss me? "What the hell, Sasha?!"

"What? You're always flirting with me, so why not?" She frowned. "Don't tell me you just like the challenge."

"You're unbelievable!" I snorted. "Yeah, I flirt with you when you're sober, and you always turn me down. For good reason! I'm no good for you," I confessed. Where was this coming from? I shook my head, trying to set my thoughts straight. "You would hate me forever if I let you kiss me."

"Even the guy who will take any girl at any time doesn't want me." She let out a sad chuckle. The more she talked, the less her words made sense to me. Weirdly enough, I think I was finally starting to understand where she was coming from. "Why am I never good enough?"

It was so sad to see her like this, but it was even more painful to realize she had probably been feeling like this for a while, and no one noticed. We were used to seeing her as this powerful, unstoppable woman; it was easy to forget she had her own problems too. Luke was too absorbed in his recently-found mate, while Lance and Caitlyn were busy trying to figure out their new responsibilities. I, however, had been spending more time with her than ever. I should have noticed something was wrong. But what was it exactly? "Maybe it's best that I don't replace my mate anyway. He'll probably reject me the moment he realizes what a failure I am."

"What are you talking about?" I arched an eyebrow at her. "You're amazing, Sasha. The right man will come along. He'll certainly be much happier to have you than my mate will be to have me." I whispered the last part, but she still heard me. "What do you mean?"

Again, I couldn't bring myself to answer her question. I lost my virginity when I was sixteen; the next morning, I felt horribly guilty for not waiting for my mate, but it didn't make sense for me to just stop there. Once I had given myself away to another she-wolf, I decided I wouldn't let it be something special, so I just kept adding more females to my list. Later on, it became part of the persona I created, the mask I wore daily to make everyone believe I wasn't worthy of their attention. It felt more comfortable that way, yet it still ate me from the inside.

I made my bed and I should sleep in it, but it kept me up at night instead.

The former Gamma's daughter rested her head on my shoulder, breaking my train of thought. "My stomach feels funny..." she blurted out.

"Oh, s**t!" Without thinking twice, I scooped her into my arms and placed her in front of the toilet in the bathroom just in time for her body to start forcing the alcohol out of her system.

It was hard for a werewolf to get drunk, and even harder for us to get to the point of throwing up. Although her lack of experience didn't help, she definitely had to drink a lot to end up in such a state. I gently pulled her hair off her face, holding it behind her head while I rubbed her back to try and lessen her discomfort. I had never seen her this vulnerable, and it was killing me - mostly because I could do nothing to really help her.

"Goddess, I'm such a mess!" she sobbed once she stopped throwing up. "This must be why nothing ever goes right for me. I'm so pathetic!"

"Shh, you're not pathetic, Sasha." I sat down on the bathroom floor beside her, wrapping my arms around her to rock her like a baby. "You're amazing. You're the strongest woman I know."

"Then why? Why can't I accomplish anything?" Tears started streaming down her face, only making me feel more desperate. "All my life, I've trained so hard. I always give my best. Why is it not enough?"

"You're more than enough," I reassured her. "You're the sole reason why this pack hasn't crumbled to the ground after Dario's death. You believed in us when no one else did, and you helped us. Not only me, but also Caitlyn and Lance. And the female warriors... they would have been lost without you."

"Even that was taken away from me," she whispered, hiding her face in my chest. "It sucked that I couldn't become Gamma, but now that Megan will be training the she-wolves, I have gone back to being useless."

"Is this what's been bothering you?" Sure, it was understandable. It should be disheartening for her to be forbidden from taking up an important position simply because of her gender. However, there was one rank she could still occupy, yet she repeatedly refused to. "Damn it, Sasha! Why won't you accept the Delta title? Is it not good enough because it's one rank below Gamma?"

"No, it's just..." She made a brief pause, lowering her voice. "I have the right skills to be the third-in-command, but I have no clue how to be a Delta. I'm afraid I won't be able to meet everyone's expectations, and... I don't wanna let them down."

Her words struck me like lightning. The perfect Gamma's daughter and the worthless stray weren't so different in the end; we just had different methods for dealing with our insecurities. It was funny how she was the one pouring her feelings, yet it was making me extremely emotional. Strangely enough, it actually felt good. In an attempt to soothe both of us, I finally let the words slip out of my mouth, hoping she wouldn't remember my confession in the morning.

"I don't want people to believe in me."

"What?"

"The answer to the question you asked earlier," I clarified. Well, there was no turning back now. "I don't show anyone what I'm capable of because I'm afraid they will expect me to always be great. I make mistakes more often than I get things right. The weight of living under everyone's expectations, and watching them lose their hope in me, is something I couldn't live with."

"So you'd just rather they have no hope in you at all?"

"Yes."

"That's so dumb." Here I was trying to help her feel better, and she was already judging me. This is why I never share my stupid feelings. At least she finally stopped crying.

"Well, thank you." I shook my head. "Can we agree that it's also dumb that you won't take the damn Delta position?"

She remained silent before looking down. "Yes..."

"Good. Promise me you will stop feeling sorry for yourself and show this pack just how badass you are," I encouraged her, delicately stroking her messy hair. "And when you make mistakes, you will fix them. You're already pretty good at it."

"Alright. I promise." The small smile on her face brought me inexplicable joy. For once in my life, I felt truly successful.

"And next time you need a drinking buddy, hit me up. I can watch you to make sure you don't get this f****d up."

"I'm never drinking again." She twisted her nose in disgust.

"Yep, we've all been there. Trust me, it's a lie."

She laughed a little before getting serious again. "I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble."

"Well, I'm usually the one causing you trouble, so it was a nice change of scenery."

"Thanks, Jazz. You're a good friend," she stated right before snuggling into my chest, making my heart flutter.

"Jazz?" Did drunk Sasha just give me a nickname? I furrowed my brows at her, only to notice she had just passed out in my arms. At last, we would be able to get some rest.

***

Sasha POV

When I woke up the next morning, my head felt like it was about to explode. The whole room was spinning for the first few seconds after I opened my eyes, but when it finally stopped, I was even more confused. This wasn't my room, and the pillow I was resting my head on felt extremely hard, yet bizarrely comfortable. I ran my hand along the cushion only to realize it was actually a stomach - a very muscular one.

"s**t!" My eyes widened as I shot up in the bed that clearly wasn't mine. My heart almost stopped when my gaze landed on the ginger man, who had his arms crossed atop his head. "Good morning, sunshine." He flashed me his usual sassy smile. "Sleep well?"

"What... I... Where..?" My mind was all over the place as I tried to understand what was going on. A terrible thought crossed my head, making my heart sink in my chest. "Did we..?" "Oh, yeah." His grin grew brighter. "I'm impressed, honestly. I didn't expect the Gamma's daughter to be such a freak in bed."

It couldn't be true. Could it? I didn't remember much from the previous night. It started with my regrettable decision of finishing a bottle on my own, then I knocked on the stray's door. We talked, and... What happened next? In my fear, tears started streaming down my face. Jasper's semblance immediately changed as he rushed towards me.

"Goddess, I didn't think you would still be so emotional. I'm sorry," he whispered, using his thumbs to wipe away my tears. "Of course we didn't do anything. You really think I would take advantage of you like that?"

"You're right." She sighed in relief. The next second, she slapped my shoulder, catching me off guard. "And you're also an a*****e. But thank you for not kissing me when I pretty much threw myself at you."

"So you remember that." He smiled again. "Great. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hold that against you in the future."

"Wait... when did I change into this?" I arched an eyebrow, tugging at the large T-shirt I was wearing.

"Your dress didn't look very comfortable, so I gave you one of my shirts. Feel free to keep it." He winked.

"You saw me naked?!"

"Would you rather have slept in your own puke?" Damn, he had a valid point.

Little by little, the memories started coming back to me, making me feel even worse. "Hell, I can't believe I lost control like that. I'm so ashamed."

"Don't be," he said sincerely. "You don't have to be perfect, Sasha, but I won't tell anyone about what happened if you prefer it to stay that way." He scratched his chin, looking away for a moment. "By the way... can you not mention what I told you yesterday? The whole thing about expectations and all..."

"What?" I c****d my head to the side, utterly confused.

His body slouched with... relief? "Nevermind." He waved me off.

I was about to question him further when my eyes accidentally landed on the digital clock on Jasper's bedside table - it was past nine.

"Oh Goddess, we missed training?!"

"Don't worry, princess. You won't be in any trouble, I promise."

The second he said that, I heard the Alpha's voice inside my head, making me freeze. "Sasha, will you please come see me in my office?"