Never Say Never: An Enemies-to-Lovers Secret Identity New Adult Sports Romance (Western Wildcats Hockey Book 4)
Chapter 30

A strange silence falls over us as we leave the bar amid boos from our friends. It’s like the mood has shifted, and I’m unsure as to the reason. For the duration of the ride back to the apartment, she stares straight ahead and chews her lower lip as if lost deep in thought.

I ask a few questions, but it becomes obvious after a handful of them that she isn’t paying attention. Nerves prickle at the bottom of my belly as I continue to shoot apprehensive looks her way.

Even though she made it sound like she was content with our relationship being out in the open, my biggest fear is that she’ll change her mind and tell me this isn’t working. That it’s been a few weeks and she’s ready to cut me loose and move on.

Once we’re in the elevator, I reach out and tug her into my arms. She fits perfectly. Almost as if she were made for me.

Or maybe I’m the one who was made for her.

I don’t know anymore.

What I do know is that I don’t like the feelings of uncertainty bubbling up inside me.

The ones that have me wondering if I’m going to lose what I’ve only just found.

And it doesn’t help that I have no idea what she’s thinking.

What I’ve discovered about Britt is that she’s difficult to read. She’s a master at keeping everything buried deep down inside where it can’t see the light of day.

In silence, she slides the key into the lock before throwing the apartment door wide. As I trail after her, I realize that I need to do everything in my power to convince her that we can make this work.

The only other choice is to let her go, and I’m nowhere near ready to do that.

There’s a chance that I’ll never be ready to do that.

Instead of heading to the bedroom, she beelines to the couch and sinks to the edge of the cushion. Tension radiates off her in heavy, suffocating waves as her brows pinch together.

It’s briefly that her golden gaze touches upon mine before flitting away. “We need to have a conversation before this goes any further.”

Fuck.

I knew this was coming.

I drag a hand through my hair before shoving down my panic and nodding toward the guitar. “Will you play that song for me?”

Confusion flickers across her features. “You don’t want to talk first?”

Hell, no.

If she’s going to give me the boot, I want to hear the song she sang for me on the plane while playing the guitar. I want to close my eyes and pretend for just a moment this isn’t the end.

“We’ll do it afterward.”

Her gaze bores into mine. “Promise?”

Ouch.

She’s really impatient to end this.

Hurt floods through me as I jerk my head into a nod.

“Okay.” She reaches for her guitar next to the couch. The wood is dinged up and dented. Worn. But from the careful way she handles it, obviously well loved.

Britt drives a brand-new silver Audi and lives in an apartment by herself. My guess is that if she wanted to buy something pricier with more bells and whistles, she could do it.

She must hang onto it for sentimental reasons.

I can understand that.

There are hockey sticks I’ve outgrown but they felt good in my hands. Made me feel lucky. Invincible. So, I’ve hung onto them. They’re part of my past and bring back memories that are important to me.

With her attention centered on the instrument, I’m able to eat her up with my eyes. I want to burn this moment into my memory for all eternity.

I can’t stop trying to figure out where it all went wrong. It’s almost hilarious that I thought we were on track when nothing could be further from the truth.

As she strums a few chords, the notes reverberate throughout the stillness of the apartment, and I recognize the melody. It’s been playing on repeat in my brain since Vegas.

“In the darkest nights, I stumbled, couldn’t see the light. Lost in a maze, couldn’t replace what’s right. But deep inside, a fire burned, refusing to fade away. A voice inside me whispered, ‘You’ll replace your way.’”

The knotted tension filling my muscles drains. There’s something soothing about her voice and the way it washes over me.

“I’m rising up, stronger now than I’ve ever been. Every scar’s a story, ain’t letting them win. Through the ups and downs, I’ll replace my truth. In the chaos of it all, I’ll replace my youth.”

Her voice rises, growing stronger, as she sings the chorus. Her eyelids feather closed as if lost in the music.

Both her beauty and talent are like a gut punch and steal my breath away.

“Through every fall and every doubt, I’ll stand tall. Gonna shake off the past, gonna give it my all. With each new day, leaving old fears behind. Embracing every challenge, gonna free my mind.”

A chill slides through me as she sings the bridge before ending with the chorus. Only then do her voice and the chords fade.

I’m out of the chair before I realize what I’m doing. It’s carefully that I wrap my fingers around the guitar and pry it from her grip before setting it on the couch and pulling her up.

She searches my eyes for just a heartbeat. A mixture of fear and sadness swirls through them. It only reinforces my thoughts that I won’t like what she has to say.

“Colby…”

I shake my head, cutting her off. “Whatever you need to get off your chest can wait until the morning.”

“But it’s important,” she tries again.

“There’s no way it’s as important as this.”

My mouth crashes onto hers, swallowing up any further protests before I lift her up. Her legs tangle around my waist as her arms twine around my neck. As soon as my tongue sweeps along the seams of her lips, she opens so they can mingle.

Her sweetness floods my senses and rushes through my veins.

Already I know that I’ll never replace anything like it—like her—in this world.

It only takes a dozen long-legged strides to reach the room we’ve been sharing. I beeline to the queen-sized bed before setting her on the mattress. Even though I’m reluctant to break contact, I pull away long enough to stare down at her.

Just like earlier, I want to singe the sight of her into my brain for eternity.

She’s so damn beautiful.

More beautiful than anyone I’ve ever seen.

Inside and out.

Especially when she’s wearing my jersey.

Even though it’s tempting to rip her clothing off, the need to take my time and draw out this experience is what tempers the urge. Maybe I’m incapable of saying the words, but I can show her with my actions just how strongly I feel.

For the first time in my life, I want to make love to someone.

My heart hitches at the realization.

Because that’s exactly what it’ll be.

Love.

With my forehead resting against hers, I squeeze my eyes tight. “I’m not sure what you’ve done to me, Britt. I didn’t think it was possible to feel this way. Especially after what happened. But I do. And that has everything to do with you.”

I’ve never been one to talk about my feelings or bare my soul, but I can’t stop the steady stream of words as they slide from my lips. No matter what happens in the future, I want her to know that what I feel is real.

Special.

It’s the moment I realize that I’ll be nursing a broken heart for the first time ever.

Even after Anna, my heart wasn’t crushed. My pride was hurt, and I was pissed off about being used and taken advantage of. I was embarrassed that her parents threatened my father and his livelihood.

But it wasn’t love.

This couldn’t be more different.

And it’s doubtful I’ll be able to move on so easily afterward.

In fact, I can’t imagine my world being the same after Britt crashed into it.

I’m not sure if I should thank her or curse her for opening my eyes and showing me what’s possible.

“Colby…” Her arms tangle around my neck to draw me closer. The grip she has on me is so tight. Almost like she’s trying to squeeze the very life from my body.

Maybe it would be better that way.

It’s like I blinked, and everything transformed, never to be the same again.

“Maybe we should⁠—”

“No.” I pull away enough to meet her gaze, needing to confirm my suspicions. “Whatever you need to say will change everything between us, won’t it?”

Her teeth scrape against her lower lip as a sheen of tears fills her eyes. She jerks her head into a nod. “I think so.”

“Then we’ll sit down and discuss it tomorrow morning. All right?”

When she remains silent, I plead, “Give me this. Give me tonight. Can you do that?”

“Is that really what you want?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Okay. But it’s important, and we can’t put it off any longer.”

Relief pumps through me as my mouth settles over hers. As soon as it does, she opens, and our tongues mingle with deep strokes that leave me wanting more.

Leave me wanting everything.

I nip the plumpness of her lower lip before drawing away. I want every shred of clothing that separates us removed.

My fingers grip the hem of my jersey before dragging it up her torso and over her head. As much as I want to fuck her in it, I need to feel the warmth of her flesh pressed against mine even more. Her bra is the next to get shed. The button of her jeans is flicked open before the zipper is lowered. The thick denim is tugged down her hips and thighs until she’s left in a pair of light blue panties with tiny red hearts decorating them. I bury my face against the thin cotton and inhale a deep breath, drawing her scent into my lungs until I’m dizzy with it.

A whimper escapes from her as I drag my teeth against her clit.

My fingers slip beneath the elastic, tugging them down and tossing the tiny scrap of material to the carpet.

I straighten, needing to soak in the sight before me. With her caramel-colored hair spread out on the lavender comforter and the tips of her breasts already hard, she’s like a wet dream sprung to life.

“You really are gorgeous,” I rasp. “I’ve enjoyed every fucking moment that we’ve spent together.”

She blinks as more wetness fills her eyes before holding her arms out to me.

I rip the sweatshirt over my head, taking the T-shirt with it. My jeans and boxers are the next to get shoved down my thighs. I kick them away until I’m as naked as she is.

Just the sight of her has my cock throbbing.

Slow.

Slow.

Slow.

I chant the word in my head like a mantra, wanting to draw out this experience for as long as I can. Wanting to make it one she’ll never forget.

One that will haunt her for the rest of her life.

The same way it will for me.

I want her to realize that no one else will ever be able to make her feel the way I do.

All this churns inside my head as I crawl up her body and press my mouth against hers. When she opens, I slide downward, peppering her jawline with kisses before doing the same to the delicate column of her throat. A groan breaks free from her as she bares it. Her arms lift until her fingers can tunnel through my hair as if to lock me in place.

It’s not necessary.

There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here with her.

I rain kisses along her collarbone before adoring both breasts. By the time my mouth settles over one hard tip, her back is already bowing off the mattress and she’s whimpering for more.

“That feels so good.”

“I want to make you feel amazing,” I whisper against her flesh.

“You do. Every time.”

And yet…it wasn’t enough, was it?

I release one nipple with a soft pop before drawing the other between my lips and sucking on it until she’s shifting beneath me.

Her desire is like a living, breathing entity and all I want to do is stoke it to life until it consumes her soul.

Once I’ve worshipped her breasts, I work my way down her ribcage to her pubic bone. She widens her thighs without me saying a word. I shoulder my way between them until her pussy is spread before me like a feast.

Tonight, I plan to make a meal out of her.

“So fucking pretty.” My eyes flick upward before capturing hers.

With our gazes locked, I lap at her shuddering softness. That’s all it takes for her sweetness to explode in my mouth.

I run the flat of my tongue along her slit before dipping inside her core and circling her clit with the tip of my tongue. I keep up the gentle assault until she’s shifting, lifting her hips in an attempt to get closer.

“You like that, sweet girl? You like the way I play with your body?”

“God, yes.”

When her muscles tighten, I can’t resist adding, “I hope you realize that no one else will ever make you feel this way.”

My tongue circles the tiny bundle of nerves.

“No one else but you.”

Damn straight.

With that, I push her over the edge, licking her the entire time she screams out her orgasm. It’s only when she turns boneless that I press one last kiss against her shuddering softness and climb up her body. My lips settle on hers as our gazes stay fastened. My tongue slips inside her mouth to tangle with her own.

“Do you taste yourself on me?”

She nods.

“There’s no way I’ll ever get enough of you. Not ever.”

I line my cock up against her drenched entrance.

She’s so damn wet.

And hot.

All I want to do is bury myself deep inside her body.

And then stay there forever.

This girl is where I belong.

I understand that even if she doesn’t.

That’s what hurts most of all.

I’ve spent all these years fucking around and holding girls at a distance.

Until her.

And now that I’ve finally opened up and allowed someone inside, she doesn’t want me.

Whoever said karma was a bitch knew what they were talking about.

When she widens her legs, I slide inside her tight heat. It’s so damn tempting to fuck her into oblivion but I hold back, needing to control myself.

It’s not easy. I clench my jaw until the muscles ache. Until my teeth are on the verge of shattering.

“Your pussy is so damn hot and tight. Fuck but you feel amazing.” I have to force myself to pull out and tease her entrance, giving her just the tip.

Her hands splay wide against my back before the sharp nails bite into my skin as she attempts to drag me closer.

“Colby, please…”

“Do you need more, sweet girl? Do you need some dick filling that pretty little pussy?”

“Please…I’ve never wanted anything more. Give it to me.”

I groan. Her begging is my undoing, and I slide inside until I’m buried balls deep. The pleasure is so great that my eyes nearly roll to the back of my head.

Slow.

I need to take this slow and make it last.

With measured movements, I pull out before flexing my hips and gliding back inside her tight body. Every time our pelvises collide, the pleasure increases until it becomes almost too much for the confines of my skin.

It’s only when her pussy spasms, squeezing the life out of me, that I come with a vengeance and roar out my orgasm.

It’s altogether possible that the tip of my cock just blew off.

A few minutes later, we both float down to earth.

My heart pounds an unsteady staccato against my ribcage, and it takes time for my breathing to even out until I no longer feel like I just ran a marathon.

Or skated suicides during a two-hour practice.

Even though my brain is hazy, discontentment presses in at the edges. I haven’t pulled out, and I can’t help but dwell on the very real possibility that this will be the last time I’m buried inside her sweet heat.

It’s only when I soften that I roll onto my back and take her with me.

A heavy silence, chockful of unspoken words, hangs heavy in the air. It’s as if we’re both aware of the impending storm that looms on the horizon. There’s no way to outrun or hide from it.

All we can do is stand tall and face it down when it finally arrives.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t put it off until the early morning light streaks across the horizon.

I bury my face in her hair and draw a deep breath of her floral scent into my lungs. If only there were a way to hold it captive for the rest of my life.

Hold her captive.

“I hope you realize that I’m nowhere near done with you,” I whisper.

She shifts against me until her gaze can fasten onto mine. “Maybe I’m the one who isn’t done with you.”

My heart clenches, wishing that were the case.

We make love a few more times before finally drifting off to sleep wrapped up in each other’s arms.

Even though I try to brace myself for what tomorrow will bring and close myself off from the inevitable pain, I realize there’s no way to do that.

No matter what happens, this will hurt.