One Sided Love
Chapter 38: chap38

Alex

Fuck.... shit what the fuck I said to kate.... I can't believe myself... I take my all day frustration on her... I know kate has right to stop emma treated her daughter... as soon as the thought come I lashed n when I saw Kate tears I knew I fucked up... she can never even thought like this.

I looked at the table n saw both girls has scared expression n Aria was crying quietly

Emma said ' daddy im sorry... but mama was right it was bad manner ... I should say sorry... please dont fight'

Aria said' me want mama'

I replied' ok girls... im sorry to scare you like that but im going to talk to mommy n you guys will go to their room ok'

for fuck sake she is her mother.... but I can't control myself ... I thought she is paying me back by treating my daughter the way I

I called martha to check the girls n with heavy heart I enter the room I saw kate lying down in bed where she hold her stomach tightly n she was crying n her body was shaking

I sat in the bed n gently put my hands on her 'kate'

She removed my hand n said ' dont touch me'

Fuck... this is the first time she did that to me ... even before I hurt her she never said no to my touch... but now I can clearly see I broke her heart...

I tried 'kate plz let me explain'

She turned n sobbed n said ' what do you want to explain... that im nothing to you n emma... that im just a step mother not a real mother to her... or I have no right to tell emma the difference between right and wrong...or that im just stupid girl with no social gathering to whom you are stuck with because she was knocked up by you'

I never saw kate this angry n emotional ' kate im fucking sorry... I shouldn't have said that... im am idiot who always hurt you.. but believe me I took my all day frustration on you... of course you have every right on emma...she is your daughter... im sorry I should stop her not lashed on you'

She crying badly n said 'Alex you said those words in front of the girls... what emma is going to think about me... you make me a bad guy in front of her... I love her so much n now she thinks I was scolding her without reason'

I picked her shoulder n said' kate she loves you too... she said she is very sorry... she wants to come n tell you but I stop her because I want to say sorry first.... kate plz forgive me plz... I never meant those words... you know me'

Kate said 'I think I never know you.... I sometime things why im even in this position...why I can't leave all this.... I know you don't love me... but I have spent more time with you then emily n as a mother for emma... hell I even ignore Aria for you n emma all I want is respect from you.... n after all this time the way Aria is treated by you I should have left you but still im here because I can't leave emma'

I was shocked by kate words... fuck ..n she is thinking to leave me... no... that will never happen

I said ' Kate listen to me... I know I don't deserve you but don't leave me ok... I really do fucking respect you... but im an asshole but plz don't leave me ... you become a very significant part of my life...I lose Emily I can't lose you'

Then I kissed her like she is my last breath... she tried to push me n resisted... I said ' kate its me ... dont deny this... you're so beautiful that sometimes its hurt... you're everything'

My words are like putting water to the fire that I created n she react a little.. I kissed her more passionately ... I was so terrified she will leave me... I opened her legs tear her underwear n make her prepare for me she was softly moaning but she pushed me ' no Alex .. I cant'

I stopped her n try to unzip my trouser ' no baby I want you.. you're my everything... don't leave plz'

I was so desperate that I don't even know what I was saying... It was like my heart was saying those words that I hide it for many years

I pushed inside her we both moan n then I started thrusting her hardly... kate screamed my name

She said 'I hate you for making me feel like this'

I heavily breath 'I fucking hate myself for hurting you'

We both climax n lay together quietly... kate removed her self from me ... I picked her arm 'where you going'

She removed her hand' im going to check the girls'

I stand 'I lost control ... im sorry kate plz forgive me for everything'

Kate sighs' Alex I have to check girls before they sleep... we will talk later... plz let me go now...'

NI left her way.

Kate

Emma was crying n said ' mama im so sorry...daddy angry with you because of me.... plz forgive me'

I replied' oh baby its ok... its not your fault...n you know I loved you a lot... so mama can scold you a little but plz don't mind... I stop you to do things which I know is no good for you' Emma said ' I know mama.. im sorry for doing that'

I looked at Aria she was holding her blanket tightly n standing timidly with emma bed... I told her to come here she came sat with me n said ' mama I dont like you cry... plz don't cry'

I removed my tears with the tissues n said' all gone ok how about we three lye on this bed I told you a good story n then we can discuss about tomorrow bdy party'

N like that my both girls become happy

It was late when I left their room... n went to my ... I was exhausted... I need to sleep otherwise I will not wake up on time

When I enter I saw Alex was waiting for me tensely' Are they sleep'

I replied 'yes'

I went to bathroom changed into my nighty n then turn to bed.... I felt Alex also lie down ... he hold me from my back

I said 'Alex im tired plz let me sleep'

He replied 'I know.. I just want to hold you... I know you're very very angry with me but plz forgive me... I so so sorry...'

I sighs n turned to him n saw his desperate face... I said ' im not angry im so upset with you... what you said to me it still can listen those words... after all these years I thought you trust me ... you feel for me may be not love but something else but it shows I was living in house of misunderstanding'

He came closer' please baby... what I said was out of my own guilt n defend but I know it was not true you're everything I want in a wife in a mother of emma.... I said that before im a jerk who doesn't want to get hurt n then hurt you.... I swear on emma I never meant those words... I just said because

I completed his sentence n replied' because you think im taking my anger on emma because you treated Aria like shit.... I knew that moment when you mention Aria ... but im not like you who compare n ignore one of my kids... they both are my daughter... my life... my heart...my only reason of living here... if I wanted to do something like that I would have done long ago but I won't do this..'

He kissed my forehead 'I know... babe... I know.. you still my pretty girl... I made a terrible mistake please forgive me... plz kate

I closed my eyes... tears was falling 'I forgive you but it will take some time for me to forget those words... im sorry if my words are hurting you but it will take some time'

He hold me n said ' take you time babe ..you're very beautiful Kate inside out... once again im sorry'

I just nodded n then I fall in sleep.

I woke next morning with swollen eyes n tired body ... I saw Alex was still sleeping ... I take a quick shower n went to girls room... I have to pull myself again for the girls.. especially today is aria birthday I want her to be happy...so I quietly wake emma... she was rubbing her eyes good morning mama'

I replied' good morning princess ... its time'

She excitedly stand n we wake Aria

Emma said ok 1 2 3 start'

N we both said 'Happy birthday Aria ..Happy birthday to you'

Aria confusingly open her eyes n when she saw what we are saying

She giggled n said 'mama... its birthday...'

I kissed her n said 'yeah baby its your birthday.... n now we have to get up... have breakfast then we have a bath ... n in the noon the party is going to start'

But my girls excitedly went to bathroom to brush their teeth n follow me in kitchen

I was making breakfast when I felt Alex presence ... he said good morning... I replied.... Emma said ' good morning daddy'

He smiled at her ' good morning princess'

Aria shyly said ' good morning daddy'

He looked at her n for the first time I saw a slight smile in his face ' good morning'

Aria smiled big... I was putting breakfast in their plates n went to kitchen to bring coffee.. I feel hands in waist... I sighs... it was Alex ... I wish he stop touching me because it makes me forget how much he hurt me... Alex said 'hi.. you ok ' he touched my face 'yeah im fine... just little tired'

He remorseful face said it all why im tired... ' after breakfast lie down n have rest ok'

I can't... in the evening its Aria birthday party.... do you forget?'

He looked uncomfortable n said' shit... it got out of my mind... yes party... don't over do it ok... take some extra help... I don't want you to get tired'

'im fine Alex ... I will take some pain killer ... I will be fine be then'

I was going when he stop me 'kate ... I don't want to annoy you do you really forgive me? This guilt is killing me plz tell me we are all right... you still with me ok?'

I found Alex to be disturbed which makes my stupid heart to be uneasy 'yes I forgive you... n we are fine for now... just never say those words again'

He sighs in relive' of course babe ... n thank you so much... ' he kissed me passionately...

I stopped ' kids are at the table we should be going'

He smile n we went to have breakfast

Emma said ' daddy.. you didn't wish Aria'

Alex looked uncomfortable but he said 'happen birthday Aria'

Aria beamed with happiness' thank you daddy'

N with that my heart melts a little.

(Arias Birthday party)

Everything was going great... Aria was enjoying her birthday party... sorry her butterfly birthday party.... n she is enjoying it....

Everyone was having fun... Alex father was holding Aria n he was laughing at something she said.... my parents can't come become mom has having a headache .... honestly speaking I don't even tried to insist them to come... the way they act around Aria is very hurting to her.... it was a cake cutting time... n I have no idea where Alex is... I went inside the house to see where he is...

I found Alex in his office ... yelling at someone in phone... when he saw me he says he talk later to whom he talking

I said ' everything is ok?

He replied 'yeah.... some staff forget to email some important details about the upcoming deal we had with a new company that we are going to take over.... now I have to be gone for immediate meeting they had arranged tonight'

I said ' but Alex what about Aria... I mean her party... Everyone is down there it looks very suspicious that why her father is not in her party....'

He remorsely replied 'I know kate but this thing had kept me up'

I replied ' can you at least stay for cake cutting?'

He says ' yeah I can... but for half an hour cause I have get to ready for this meeting'

I nodded but he stopped me 'hey stop why you running away from me... I have some time to tell how my wife looked extremely beautiful'

I blushed... I was wearing Alex favorite color vibrant blue dress

He said ' this is my favorite ... n when you make you're hair like this it makes me do some things with you'

He kissed my neck ... I replied ' Alex plz ... not now the people are waiting'

He said

I smiled' ok but now we have to go'

Alex was standing rigidly when we both aria hand to cut the cake.... it was for show otherwise Alex would never touch her ... Aria was really happy that her daddy is cutting cake with her ...

Alex was very uncomfortable n tense that I can feel some of the people can also feel ...

Aria said' mama my gifts'

Everyone laughed at her cute

excitement.but when I saw Alex face.... he looked shocked.... I can clearly see why he is shocked because he forget to bring her birthday gift... n I feel anger n sadness both at same time... why can't he bring something its obvious in birthday you have to give some gift....

Aria was so excited to know what her daddy has brought for her... I just don't want to break her heart...

I said ' daddy n me both get a beautiful butterfly tricycle ....'

Aria looked confused' but you both brought emma different gifts in her birthday...then I should get gifts from both of you'

Alex looked at me like he is thankful n also shameful for what he did

I replied' baby what I told you about gifts .... never looked for gifts quantity or who brought it for you... looks at the person love n affection behind that'

She nodded... but Alex parents have caught up the tension n said 'well Aria don't you want to see our present'

N with that her smile was back

Alex drag me to a corner' thank you so much kate for what you did... you just save me for making myself fool in front of people..'

He stop when he saw my facial expression ... he was worried about what people think but not a little child feelings

He said ' it came out in a wrong way im sorry... I feel terrible that I didn't bring anything but honestly speaking I don't know what she really like but still im sorry'

I replied' I understand.... n I did save you because I know how you feel about social standing ... now lets go people are waiting

I turned and come face to face with Alex cuzn Helen who clearly hate me for no reason ... she gives me a sarcastic smile like she knows what she saw

She replied 'oh kate I want to thank you again for inviting me

Which I don't but Alex did since she has shifted here in past few weeks...

I replied ' no problem.. I hope your kids are enjoying '

She replied' oh they are thrilled... but seriously last time I was very mean to you.... but what had Alex told me about you n baby thing I naturally lashed on you...'

I don't know why she bringing up the past... luckily Alex came n said ' sophia I think whatever is in the past stays in the past... n I was wrong before... Kate is,a wonderful wife n mother ... so dont remember those worse moments' Alex defending me in the public for the first time truly touched me... may it was yesterday event hit us both in different way... for me knowing to take stand... n for Alex finally understanding me

She looked embarrassed' yeah sure yeah I mean thats what I want ..no hard feelings'

All the guest was gone... n Alex was gone to his meeting... I was cleaning up some stuff... when I heard voices of girls from another room.... n i picked the camera to upload today pictures in laptop.. but first girls should be in bed. Alex

Thank good the meeting went well...shawn was there as my legal adivsor

I said ' thanks dude for catching up in this time... I know having a baby n all can be tough'

Shawn n Rachel has finally got married two years ago n now they are blessed with a baby boy

He laughed ' tell me about it... forget this... will you tell me a truth... you forget about Aria gifts'

I said 'what's with you... why you always bring Aria n kate ... I arranged a party for her isn't that enough'

He looked n said 'well I loved Aria like my daughter she is so innocent n beautiful to be treated like this n secondly it was kate who was arranging n entertaining the party... you were just standing there like a stranger'

I know what he is saying is right but I don't want discuss it any further..i tiredly said ' Shawn plz drop it im already tired n you know things are complicated'

He said 'you are making it complicated other wise its not like that'

... After getting inside the house ... I

found that everyone might have been gone to sleep... it's good I don't want to face anyone with my confused feelings about everything... I already feel like shit when little Aria was looking so excitedly that what I brought for her... if kate has not cover for me things might get more difficult for me... with that I remember I never brought anything for Aria... not even wheb I gone to office trips n all

I remember a moment when I went to dubia n emma has told me to bring something for her from there... I saw a very beautiful doll with other accessories ...

When I came back home from Dubai ... n show emma the doll ... her eyes were shocked n said ' Daddy this is so beautiful doll in the world... it so pretty... thank you so much... I love you'

I smiled' I love you too... when I saw this doll I think about you...look she got your light blonde hair'

My smile faded when I saw Aria standing behind the sofa looking longingly at the doll emma was holding like she she also wants to have this doll'

Shit...i forget about her... I can bring two dolls... this will make an awkward situation n a guilty one for me..

Emma must have seen Aria 'hey aria look daddy brought this doll for me... daddy what you brought for Aria... she wanted doll too '

I looked at kate who must have known but she doesn't know what to say

She said ' ok girls daddy is tired so time to bed'

Aria said softly' but mama me want to see the doll daddy get for me'

I feel terribly guilty... I replied 'Aria I can't bring anything for you sorry... but emma has called me to bring something that's why it was on my mind... but you can take money from me then you can buy anything you want'

I know what a jerk thing to say... Aria eyes tears up n she run to her room... kate go after her

N I came back from my memory land... n realized that I have been hurting that innocent soul for many times...

I was so tired n guilty that all I wanted was to lie down with kate

I enter the bedroom surprisingly I found kate awake.... she was working in her laptop.... all of a sudden kate turns n said 'Alex ...'

I replied' he babe ...you're awake?'

she said 'yeah I was putting today's party picture in the laptop n I was also waiting for you..so how was the meeting?'

I replied' it went really well actually I might crack the biggest deal of the company'

She smiled' im really happy for you'

I replied ' let me change then we both watch the pictures together'

She replied 'you want to see them?'

I said 'yeah any problem ?'

She shake her head n say no... I changed my clothes n sit with kate in the bed' so what we are looking at'

Kate start flipping pictures by

pictures some, where the party decore pictures... some were of emma posing in her naughty

expression... some were of Aria net

laughed running ... smiling... kate smile... Aria was very pretty child her blues eyes were full of love n

happiness at that moment... n I said 'she got your smile'

Kate looked at Aria pictures ' yeah I think she only has that part of me'

I replied' no she got your goodness, your kindness too'

Kate eyes were filled with tears... I said these things for the first time loud n clear to kate about Aria

She replied 'Thank you'

Then we resume watching other pictures..

some were of kate candid one and there was a picture of me and kate standing together I stopped n stare at that it was extremely beautiful ... her hair was softly flying in air n she has a slight smile which turns me on....I don't know for how long I stare at that picture then

Kate said ' ok now you're creeping me out... you're saying nothing n staring at my picture'

I laughed n said ' cause im speachless this is so beautiful that I have no words to describe n I think this should be frame ...'

Kate was flushing n she said ' no need its not that good...'

I replied ' no its perfect... I was thinking to make a frame of it n a portrait that im going to put it in living lounge so everyone can see'

Kate gives me a stunned expression n im confused why... then I realized what I said... its Emily picture in the living lounge... I feel that im stop breathing how can I forgot about that.