Patient Blue
You're an animal

Rosslynne and I head up the wide dark staircase guided by flickering candlelight. ‘This is your room and next door is mine and the one next door to me is Barbi’s. George is on the floor above, though I would be more than a little surprised if he wasn’t already in bed with Barbi even as we speak. Michael.’

‘Yes sweetheart.’

‘You can spend the rest of the night with me if you like.’

‘I really like.’ Heart pounding I move towards her and we kiss. Rosslynne leads me into her room and a long cherished dream has at last come to pass. I am in the bedroom of my one and only true love, and I didn’t even have to break in.

In the flickering candlelight I can see the room is substantial and dominated by a large double bed, there is a slight hint of Chanel and that tantalising scent of female in the air. Two huge picture windows overlook the garden and through them, illuminated by a full moon I can see heavy dark clouds drifting low on the horizon. We remove our clothes, Rosslynne slowly and sensually, practiced and without qualm or embarrassment. I am far more shy and awkward, trying to hold in my full stomach. I dare not look down at my dick in case it has shriveled up and tried to withdraw back into my body along with my bollocks due to the nervous tension I am very definitely feeling. I half cover myself with my hand as I move towards the now naked Rosslynne. I can see the butterfly tattoo on her left breast her flat stomach, the neat line of light downy pubic hair shaved into a Brazilian, she looks stunning and sexy my fantasy come true.

‘This will be my first time in seven years,’ said Rosslynne, ‘do me good and hard stud, forget subtle, like that time in the tent at Reading.’

‘No pressure then,’

We lay together on the bed and kiss I run my hand across her breasts savouring the hardness of her nipples then move my hand between her thighs which she parts whilst making a slight moan. I can feel her slippery warmth and wetness. I am now becoming seriously aroused and I say a silent prayer to the god of love, lust and sex; Please oh please God, let me get a hard on and keep it hard so I can make love to this gorgeous woman.′

My prayer seems to be working and I have developed an impressive, for me anyway, erection and am moving into a position to do some damage with it. I now suddenly become aware and distracted by a loud rhythmic banging on the wall behind the bed. This is then supplemented by short screams and an excited female voice, ‘Guru,Guru, Guru, Guru George, yes, yes, Guru George, Guru George, oh Guru,Guru George yes.’

Rosslynne laughs, ‘see I told you they’d be in bed together, what an example for an aunt to give her niece, but one I’m sure we should follow, come on let’s do it.’

But the god of love lust and sex has already moved on, to the room next door in fact, and my fearsome hard on has deflated to a flaccid wimp and try as I might and despite encouragement bordering on desperate pleas from Rosslynne, will not return.

Rosslynne, being a kind, if frustrated woman, now tells the age old lie of disappointed long suffering women everywhere, ‘it doesn’t matter we can just cuddle.’

I respond as humiliated men often do. ‘Sorry it has never happened before’ which of course is a lie.

’You have had a lot to drink and smoke all mixed in with the Calmodine and it’s been a strange day, no wonder you couldn’t get it u--- there will be other times, we can try again.

Next door, George obviously has a second wind, the banging on the wall restarts and Barbi is off again screaming, ‘Guru,Guru, Yes, Yes, oh yes Guru George you’re an animal.’

I cover my ears and try to somehow replace comfort in denial and the oblivion of sleep. Oh god in fucking heaven why me, why can’t something in my life go right, just once?