Pursuing My Rejected Alpha
Chapter 61

At first, Lucien thought that the package was for Ronan. And then he saw his name as the recipient's name. It was for Lucien Clearwater, written clearly on top of the box.

"What is this?" he asked with a frown.

Instead of answering Lucien's question, Milroy turned bright red and stuttered.

"Umm, Luna, you need to... I mean, you must give it back to me as soon as you are done. I will submit the s-sample right away."

The young man then averted his eyes and hung his head as low as possible.

""

"..."

Lucien did not understand what Milroy was saying at all. Since the package was addressed to him, he might as well open it and see what was inside.

He asked Milroy to wait in the living room while he took the package to Ronan's study and opened it.

Inside the package was a rose-colored box. There were a few items inside. The first one was a smaller box with a large egg inside. The instruction manual that came with it read as followed:

.....

"Hello, Future Dad!"

"Please peel this egg and use it to store your s***m. As soon as you finish, seal the opening with the included cap and send it to us within 24 hours! For detailed instructions on how to use the egg, please check the next section!"

""

And then, there was another box next to it. The second box contained one plastic bottle and a few plastic bags.

"Please provide samples of your saliva, hair, and nail and put them in the respective containers!"

Lucien blinked at the two boxes. Just as he was about to pack them back into the package and shove it into Milroy's hand with a scolding, he caught sight of a card and a folded letter inside the rose-colored box.

The card was half the size of a postcard. The front side contained his personal information. One glance at the handwriting sufficed to tell Lucien that it was Ronan's.

At the back side was presumably a short message that Ronan left for Lucien, only that beneath the "Dear Lucien" the Alpha had written a lot of words only to cross them out one by one.

A tiny scribble in an empty space said, "Please see the letter instead".

Lucien grabbed the folded letter and spread it on the desk.

The letter was written on a hotel notepad. The name of the hotel stood glaringly on the header, making it look like a message left by the hotel instead.

Lucien took a seat behind the desk and started reading Ronan's message for him.

"Dear Lucien...

When you are reading this, I am most likely no longer among the living.

This letter is written in Hapsborough City on the last night before the trial.

I pray for a smooth process and a chance to get back to you, but IF I can't make it, I need you to know that I love you until I breathe out my last.

I love you, Lulu. You are my first and you are my last love. There has never been and there will never be anyone else in my heart.

Please don't despair upon my death. I have lived a wonderful life. Our time together was so short, but I am happy that you are in my life. You are the most beautiful and amazing soul in the whole wide world.

I will thank the Moon Goddess forever for allowing me to get to know you."

"You must be wondering what this is all about.

Let me explain a few things. Do you remember the project that drove your father to ruin a few years back?

The project aimed to allow same-s*x partners to conceive children by converting one partner's egg to s***m and vice versa. The resulting embryos will be injected into a lab-grown uterus that carries the mother's DNA and grow there until it is time for them to be born."

"I have invested in this project for quite some time ever since I found out what it was. Occasionally I would dream that it will one day be a success, that you and I can somehow have our own children.

Well, to this date the technology has yet to mature. I have sent my s***m sample to the fertility center for safe keeping until the technology is ready.

As you are reading my letter now, I guess that the project finally concludes and the fertility center is now ready."

"My beloved Lulu, will you please do me the honor and be the mother of my children?

Or you can be the father. Whichever, really. We don't know which s***m will successfully be converted into egg cells, yours or mine.

Either way, if there is one thing I want to leave behind in this world, then it would be our children. I want them only if I can have them with you.

The sad thing is that although I worked so hard to make this happen, I won't be able to raise them with you.

But still, please, please, give us a chance.

Please let the children be born.

They will be the last thing I can give you.

I hope that you are willing to do us this favor.

When the children grow up, please tell them that I love them with all my heart, just like I love you.

Even though I don't have the chance to see them or hold them in my arms.

I know that they are going to be as beautiful and amazing as you are.

Farewell, my Lulu...

I love you, forever and always. From the moment I laid my eyes on you until I close my eyes for good.

Your mate, Ronan Silverback."

Outside, in the living room, Milroy jolted in his seat when he heard the sound of something being smashed to the floor.

"L-Luna?" Ronan's assistant rose to his feet and approached the study anxiously. He extended a trembling hand toward the doorknob, but he was too afraid to open it...

Ronan's heart was pounding hard with excitement. Yesterday night, the fertility center called to inform him that the project had successfully ended. The fertility center was ready to start its operation. As agreed a long time ago, Ronan as the main investor reserved the right to become its first customer.

All Ronan wanted to do the moment he heard the good news was finish the day's work as soon as possible, clear his agenda for two or three days, and take his mate to the fertility center.

He was going to properly explain everything to Lucien, and then get his s***m sample so the fertility center could get to work.

Naturally, only if Lucien consented.

This was Ronan's greatest worry at the time.

Thinking back, they talked about having children pretty often.

They often said that it would be so great if Lucien could bear Ronan's children so that they no longer had to hear about how the venerated bloodline of both the Fangblade and the Silverback family was going to end in Ronan's generation. What a great waste that would be, and so on.

This was mainly why impregnating Lucien became a recurring fetish for the both of them whenever they had s*x.

One should note that a fetish was not necessarily a wish.

What would Lucien think about the prospect of having children with Ronan, if that was possible?

Would he be happy?

Would he be reluctant?

Or would he freak out?

After all, two men were not supposed to have biological offspring together. Not in a conventional way, so to say.

Up until two months ago, the thought of having children together was nothing more than a fantasy for Ronan.

Until the High Seer told Ronan about his and Lucien's children.

From then on, Ronan started to hope.

The hope turned into action.

And then here they were.

The Alpha heaved a long sigh and buried his face inside his palms.

If, if the High Seer's prediction did not change, then... Then he and Lucien were going to have children.

The fertility center would give birth to them. That was the only other way, unless Lucien magically obtained the ability to get pregnant and birth their children.

The last time he checked, his mate's belly was still as flat as always.

Raaaahh...!!!

Ronan went around his office in circles. He completely ignored Jake, who stared at him for the last fifteen minutes with an expressionless face.

"Alpha, why don't you just go back to the pack house for today?" the very helpful Beta offered.

Ronan's head snapped in Jake's direction, his eyes gleaming full of interest.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes, really," Jake said with a smile. "You have worked hard these past months. It's fine to rely on me when you really have to be somewhere else."

Because honestly, a distracted Alpha did not make Jake's work any easier. In fact, Jake had had to tell Ronan everything at least twice because he went into a daze so often the entire day. He might as well go back and accompany Lucien.

"Oh, Jake, you are a life savior," Ronan grabbed his coat from the coat hanger right away.

He was in such a hurry that he left without saying goodbye.

Jake shook his head at the Alpha. He didn't want to say it out loud to preserve the man's dignity, but Ronan was putty in Lucien's hand. Just as Jake was in Cassie's hand.

Oh, the fate of married men, he lamented. Always controlled by the wives.

As soon as Ronan reached the ground floor, he called Noah to pick him up.

When he ended his call, his phone rang again. It was Milroy, his assistant.

"Yes, Milroy? What is it?" Ronan answered absent-mindedly. He craned his neck left and right to see whether Noah had arrived or not.

"That... Um, reporting to the Alpha, uh..."

Ronan furrowed his brows.

"Speak clearly. What's wrong?"

Milroy lowered his voice down to a whisper.

"Alpha, the Luna and I are at the airport. We are boarding a flight to the West Coast City in about thirty minutes!"

"

"What the hell???" Ronan snapped in outrage. "Why? How???"

Milroy sounded like he was close to tears.

"I am sorry, Alpha, I can't help it. The Luna insisted... He didn't want to give his sample otherwise, I..."

Ronan turned pale within an instant.

"What sample are you talking about???"

"Th.. the package..."

Oh, good Goddess. The fools at the fertility center sent Lucien the sample collection package. And that although Ronan specifically told them that he was taking his mate to West Coast City to visit the fertility center! Before Milroy finished what he wanted to say, Lucien's cold voice was heard behind him.

"Milroy, who are you calling?"

Shrieking like a frightened mouse, Milroy ended the call right away.

Ronan leaned against the nearest wall, closed his eyes, and rubbed between his brows. He muttered a curse in low voice.

Great.

Lucien must be confused. No, to be exact, he was furious.

A platinum Maserati pulled in front of the Silverback Corporation's head office and Ronan climbed right in.

"To the airport," he told Noah while he dialed Lucien's phone number.

The Alpha bumped the back of his head against the head rest several times while waiting for his mate to pick up his call.

Come on, Lulu, answer...

Please...

The phone rang for a long time before Lucien deigned to answer.

"What?" he snapped at his mate.

"Baby, I can explain," Ronan hastily said.

"I don't need any explanation," Lucien interjected him.

"Baby, are you angry?"

Lucien scoffed.

"Am I not allowed to???"

Ronan was at the end of his wits. Who would know that Lucien would get so angry over the prospect of having children with him?

It broke the Alpha's heart, but he tried his best to understand. Lucien must have his own reasons. Maybe Ronan offended him somehow.

"You are," Ronan said helplessly. "If you don't want to have children with me, you don't have to. Lulu, I..."

Unexpectedly, his words made Lucien even angrier.

"Ronan Silverback, you are the worst!"

44"

And then the call ended.

Ronan Silverback rushed to the ticket counter as soon as he landed at the airport.

"One ticket to West Coast City," he said.

The lady at the ticket counter went into a daze when she caught sight of this handsome specimen of the male species.

"Y-your identification card, Sir?"

Impatiently, Ronan pushed his human ID card across the counter.

The lady muttered a silent prayer in her heart as her eyes flew to the marital status.

Single.

Yes!!!

The lady thanked God in heaven for allowing her to meet a dashing, single man in an extravagant suit. He might as well hail from one of those CEO novels that she read every night.

.....

"Ahm... The next flight available for economy class is tomorrow, Sir..."

The lady bit into her lower lip full of expectation.

Just like she expected from a ridiculously rich person, Ronan answered pompously, "I only travel first class or at the very least business class."

Kyaaaaaaa...!!!

So handsome!

So rich!

So cool!

"Can it go faster?" Ronan asked impatiently, pulling the ticket counter lady from her euphoria.

“Y-yes. The first-class ticket is still available. The flight is in an hour. Is there anything you want during your flight?"

For example, a beautiful woman to accompany you and take to wife?

Ronan furrowed his brows.

"I want a box of the best chocolate you can replace and a bouquet of white roses... Oh never mind, I will take care of those myself."

Milroy knew the kind of chocolate and rose that Lucien liked.

Ronan left in a hurry, taking his ID card and boarding ticket with him.

While he rushed to the boarding gate, he made a call to Milroy, who of course could not answer him because he was on the flight.

"Damn it," the Alpha cursed.

At the ticket counter, the lady slumped forward in dejection.

"What is wrong with you?" her colleague came over with a mug of iced coffee.

"The most gorgeous man was just here, but he has a girlfriend," she lamented.

"Which man?"

The first lady clicked on her computer screen to show her friend Ronan's information.

The second lady widened her eyes in disbelief.

"THAT GUY was just here???"

"Yeah..."

"Well, not sure if it will make you feel better or not, but Ronan Silverback doesn't have a girlfriend."

"... He doesn't?"

"He is engaged to another man. Have you not seen the news???"

"No way!"

"And he has a baby on the way, by Lillian Woodland. You know her right? The model celebrity."

"Oh God no! No way! I don't believe you. Which man???"

When the first lady took a look at intimate pictures of Ronan and Lucien together, her mouth became dry. Oh God, a gorgeous CEO with a handsome fiancé in one arm and a gorgeous, sexy heiress in the other arm!

She then looked up, her lips parting from surprise. Could she be in one of those CEO novels???

Ronan pressed a hand against his face and sighed once he boarded the plane and took a seat in the first-class area.

"Mr. Silverback, wine?"

"... Alright, Sir."

"Whiskey," Ronan answered without paying attention to the steward. "I want a strong one."

The flight took almost four hours. By the time Ronan landed, there were maybe around twenty missed calls from Milroy.

"Alpha!" Milroy's exasperated voice rang out from the phone. "We already arrived. The Luna is taking his round in the fertility center. He doesn't want me to accompany him. He only allows Mr. Gordon Clearwater to come with him." Ronan closed his eyes and rubbed between his brows.

Lucien, the lone wolf. At least he didn't push his own father away.

"Alright. Thanks, Milroy. I am on my way."

That was what he said, but as soon as he ended the call he realized that he had no cash.

Just how was he supposed to go to the fertility center? Was he supposed to transform and jump from building to building or what?

if on cue, a voice was heard coming from Ronan's left side.

"Alpha Ronan, welcome to the West Coast City."

An unknown man bowed at him. He was a werewolf.

"My name is Elias, I am a guard from the Silent Walkers Pack. Mr. Gordon Clearwater has sent me over to pick you up."

Well, his father-in-law was thankfully very accommodating.

Ronan gave him a stiff nod.

"Let's hurry, then."

Once he sat in the passenger seat, Ronan was again deeply occupied by the present issue. He bit into his fist in resentment as he mulled about a few questions.

Why was Lucien so angry?

Just what did he do wrong this time?

Why would Lucien not want to have his children?

It did not take a lot of effort from his side at all. He only needed to give a sample of his semen and then the fertility center would do the rest.

Honestly, it could not be more convenient.

...

...

...

Wait, Lucien knew that, right?

Or did he think that Ronan wanted to force him to get pregnant and give birth to their children?

The Alpha was horrified.

Lucien most likely didn't know that he did not have to carry the children in his belly!

Forcing him to go against nature would be nothing short of humiliation, especially for a proud alpha male like Lucien!

Of course, he would be angry!

This was why he rushed to West Coast City as soon as he found out. He planned to destroy everything that Ronan worked so hard for!

Ronan screamed in his head from the horror.

He had to stop Lucien before it was too late.

Please hang on, Mr. Clearwater, Ronan pleaded in his heart. I am coming soon. Please don't allow Lucien to break anything. Please don't go to the critical areas.

Oh, the stupid fertility center staff... Just why, why did they send out the package???

As soon as the car stopped, Ronan rushed out of the car and into the building. His arrival was expected, but it still made the people in the reception area jolt from surprise.

.....

"Where is he???" he barked at Milroy who was standing near the reception table.

The poor young man quickly stuttered, "He... He... He's at the Mother and Child Center."

Ronan's heart almost stopped beating at once.

It was the room to grow an artificial uterus for the fetus to develop!

The West Coast City Fertility Center used to be a small clinic that ceased its operations years ago.

Ronan bought it a year ago. He destroyed the old clinic, and replaced it with an impressive two-story building.

The building's renovation took a long time and proceeded at a slow pace. Until a few months ago when the Alpha ordered for it to be concluded. The new clinic was to serve as a fertility clinic.

A group of scientists moved in and started working earnestly to get everything ready.

When Lucien came to visit, only the smell of fresh paint revealed that the building was fairly new. Otherwise, people would assume that it had been in operation for at least two years.

Milroy had warned the fertility center staff regarding Lucien's visit, but the scientists were still very nervous about Ronan's mate. They were thus more than grateful when Gordon Clearwater offered to take his son around instead. Lucien did not expect to meet his father at the fertility center at all. Likewise, Gordon was also stunned to see Lucien show up in person.

Nevertheless, he was glad to see his son again.

The elder man gathered his son into a hug.

.....

"Lulu, how is your health?"

"I am fine. Dad, why are you here?"

"Well, I am in charge of this fertility center."

""

Lucien thought that he must have somehow landed in an alternate universe where his father earned a doctorate in reproductive technology.

"I am in charge of the management and not the operation of this institute," Gordon explained as they toured the floor. "Lulu, why are you here in person? Did you bring the package with you?"

Ronan mentioned that Gordon was involved, but Lucien still could hardly believe it.

"Dad, you knew?" he asked, his voice trembling with emotion. "Did you know?"

Lucien shook the crumpled letter open and held it up for his father to read.

Gordon scanned the content line after line. He then took the letter from Lucien's hand and folded it neatly.

"Son, what is the problem?" he asked carefully.

"I can't believe it. Isn't it too cruel???"

"What is?"

Lucien was shaken by the fact that his father did not know what he was talking about.

"He thought about leaving me alone," Lucien broke into sobs. "He planned to die at the council headquarters and leave me alone!"

Gordon's lips parted in surprise.

"Lulu, that's not..."

"Of course it is!" Lucien shouted. "How could he? And you knew about it, Dad! Why didn't you tell me??? I would have gone to him! I would have been there to support him!"

"Lulu..."

Gordon hugged his son and sighed.

"I am sorry," he said while Lucien sobbed against his shoulder.

"I hate it!" Lucien smacked his hand against his father's shoulder, startling the latter.

"Why? Why??? Why did you leave us? Why does he want to leave me? Why does everyone want to leave me??? What did I do wrong???"

Gordon was momentarily stunned, but then it dawned on him. He finally understood what Lucien meant.

Years had passed and his son had grown up, but he still carried the scar from Gordon's suicide.

He did not want to worry his mother and his sister, so Lucien acted strong on the outside. Inside, though, he had always asked himself the question. Why did his father decide to kill himself on a whim, without even shedding a single thought about the family he was about to leave behind?

The answer was clear to Gordon and probably everyone else, but not to Lucien: Gordon was not strong enough to rise above the crisis.

No, maybe Lucien too knew the answer but he refused to believe it.

He loved his father dearly.

He did not want to think badly of his father so he blamed himself.

To make it worse, Ronan just had to write that farewell letter and awakened the awful memory from Lucien's past.

"Lulu, listen to me. It was Dad's fault. I should not have left you, your sister, and your mother behind. I should have tried to make it work somehow."

"I am sorry, my son. It is not your fault. It was mine. You have done way more than what you were supposed to handle at your age."

Lucien sniffled.

"You were so cruel," he said. "Selfish. Inconsiderate."

"Yes,

I was. I was not a good father."

Gordon patted Lucien's head and kissed him on the cheek.

"Lucien, forgive your father, alright? Let go of the past, don't think about it anymore. Focus on the future."

Lucien did not answer.

He wanted the tears to stop, but they kept coming. Those were the tears he was unable to shed eight years ago, when the world he knew came crumbling down upon him.

Although he was overwhelmed by pain and sorrow, he forced himself to be strong, be brave. He was the only other man in the family. He was supposed to be the next Alpha of the pack.

The eighteen-year-old Lucien cut himself no slack.

He took the burden upon his lone shoulders, sheltering his whole family and then his pack.

He swallowed his tears, and gritted his teeth at the cruel fate that awaited him.

"Oh, Lucien..."

Gordon ran his hands around Lucien's shoulder and back over and over again to comfort the younger man in his arms.

"Lulu, it's all good now..."

"Mr. Clearwater," a voice rang out ahead of them.

Gordon looked up and saw Ronan. He was panting slightly from running.

"Father," he corrected himself. "Let me take Lucien."

"Alpha Ronan..."

Ronan did not wait for Gordon to answer. He came over and peeled Lucien off his father's embrace.

"Lulu... Lulu, what's wrong? Talk to me, baby."

Tear-streaked, Lucien gave his mate a sharp glare instead.

He shoved hard at Ronan's chest, making him retreat a few steps backward.

"Don't touch me," Lucien hissed angrily.

"You are a bad mate," he choked out further. "You are so selfish, Ronan Silverback. You don't love me. You only love yourself."

Gordon cleared his throat.

"Let's not talk here," he said, putting one hand on Ronan's and Lucien's shoulder each. "Alpha Ronan, Lucien, let's go to my private space instead."

"Lucien..."

Ronan reached out to touch Lucien, but his hand was smacked away again.

"I said, don't touch me," Lucien snapped at him.

He stalked away without even granting Ronan a single glance.

"

Gordon took Ronan and Lucien to his office.

It was maybe around half of Ronan's office with sparse furniture. The most interesting feature was probably the half dome made of glass that covered half of the office.

.....

Beneath the dome was a bunch of fluffy lounge sofas, probably serving as a sunbathing area for Gordon. A few potted trees loomed above the chairs, acting as natural shades.

"Talk it among yourselves, children," Gordon tapped on the couple's backs. "Take your time."

Gordon left to give them some space. The door closed with a soft click.

Swallowing hard, Ronan tried calling Lucien again.

"Lulu."

Lucien looked away from Ronan and gave no response. He was busy wiping his face.

The endless tears were so embarrassing, so humiliating. Lucien did not want Ronan to look at him when he was in such a pathetic state.

"Lulu!"

Impatient, Ronan threw himself around Lucien from behind and locked the latter's upper half with his arms.

"Ronan, let me go," Lucien snapped. "Let go!"

"No!" Ronan roared.

"Lulu, don't be like this. Please just let me explain, okay? I am not trying to force you to give birth. I would never. Please don't be angry."

Lucien broke into cheerless laughter. Shaking his head repeatedly, he said, "Ronan, you are so foolish. Do you think that I care about that? If I could give birth to your child, I would have done so a long time ago. Didn't I tell you that in the past?"

Ronan let out a low, frustrated roar.

He rubbed his forehead against Lucien's back like a spoiled pup, trying hard to curry favor with his Luna.

"Then why are you so angry? I don't understand. Lulu, please tell me. If I did anything wrong, I will change. I never want to make you angry or sad."

"Let me go first," Lucien said. "I can barely move with you locking my arms like this."

"... Oh."

Ronan loosened his grip.

Lucien walked toward a couch and let himself fall on top of it.

"Baby?"

Ronan came over and sat next to Lucien. He put an arm around Lucien's shoulder and squeezed it.

"What is it?"

Lucien turned to look at the Alpha.

The pair of caramel-brown eyes gazed into the pair of greenish-blue eyes.

"It's this," Lucien said curtly, holding Ronan's farewell letter between his two fingers.

Ronan stared at the folded piece of paper. He did not even recognize it.

"What's this?"

""

Lucien unfolded it and held the piece of paper up in front of Ronan.

Ronan gaped at the content. He completely forgot about it.

"Oh, Goddess," he rolled with his eyes and groaned. "Oh no. Did they send it with the package???"

"... You think?"

Ronan sighed.

"It is embarrassing, but I still don't understand why you are angry. I wrote it in the event of..."

"Of your demise," Lucien ended the sentence for his mate. "Right?"

"Right," Ronan confirmed. "I have to leave something, right? I can't just..."

The Alpha made a huge gesture with his hand clumsily. "I can't just let them send you the package without any personal message from me. That would be too crude."

Lucien stared at Ronan, his gaze as cold as ice and as sharp as a dagger.

"... So um, why are you upset?"

Lucien rose to his feet and grabbed Ronan by his collar.

"Alpha Ronan, let me tell you why I am upset. You left me at the Night Prowler Pack House alone," he squinted at his foolish mate. "When I opened my eyes, you were not there. You did not even write a message, let alone call! I had to depend on Bjorn and Kinnon to

give me some news!!!

Day after day, I worried about you and whatever was going on out there. Meanwhile, you went and wrote this farewell letter for me. Exactly what did you take me for???"

The Alpha stared at his mate, his lips parting from awe.

"I never wanted to be your bitch, your weaker partner. I am also an alpha werewolf, damn it! If you were so worried about dying, why didn't you call me? I would have been there for you! I wanted to be there for you!!!"

"Lulu..."

"Instead, you decided to die alone and you still had the gall to leave me this message? Ronan Silverback, don't you think that you were too arrogant??? Too selfish???"

"Lulu..."

Ronan pulled at Lucien's arms and forced him into a hug.

"Let me go!" Lucien shouted. "Ronan Silverback, let me go!"

"No," Ronan sighed. "Lulu, you don't understand... I killed you with my own hands once. I can't bear to lose you again."

The Alpha buried his nose into the crook at Lucien's neck. The bursting flame in Lucien's heart was extinguished right away when he heard Ronan's words.

"I didn't die," he said, clawing into his mate's back resentfully. "Ronan, I am still alive."

"Heh."

Ronan chuckled.

"When I close my eyes at night, sometimes I still dream about it. You, bathed in blood with a silver blade embedded in your chest. In those dreams, you don't get to wake up."

"Lulu, at that time I realized something. If I had to choose between losing you to another man or death, I will choose the former."

"Pffft. Then you will even come to congratulate me on my wedding with another or what?"

Ronan pinched Lucien's chin and shut him up with a kiss.

"Sorry, but I'd rather die than watch you marry someone else."

"I can't live without you, Lulu. Don't you understand?"

Ronan's passionate love declaration earned him another glare and two sets of claws on his back.

"And don't you understand that I am the same??? Maybe I also want to follow you into the grave!"