Chapter 16
-Johan-
1 arrived at Mavis’s front door late that night.
After Dorothy and I had finally completed the severing of our bond I had gone out into the woods. I couldn’t bear going home to that big empty house and that clock in the hall. For all I knew it had stopped ticking the moment Those final words left my l*ps – “I reject you…”
I couldn’t bear facing my girlfriend just yet either. Mavis and her wrath loomed over me like a dark cloud. I saw her in the corner of my eyes.
When I turned there was nothing behind me but trees. Stoic and silent. I wished I could plant my feet in the earth and join them. Do nothing but stand in the stillness of the forest and drop leaves as the cold of winter set in..
I wanted to disintegrate and seep into the earth itself. To be soaked up into the roots of the surrounding foliage and live on in everything around me. the surrounding foliage and
The air was growing colder with every passing day. I stood there in the quiet of the woods for hours. I examined the bark of the trees and every interesting leaf that lay sc att ered around me.
I watched caterpillars crawl along branches and jumped at a bird that I hadn’t noticed suddenly taking flight startling me as much as I had it.
I had thought breaking the bond between me and Dorothy would bring me peace. I had expected relief to wash over me from the moment I said the words, heard her answer. I felt no such relief, only a vast and sprawling emptiness that hollowed out my chest and clotted my throat.
Despite all the movement that was going on around me – the birds, the caterpillars, the
my
swishing of the tallest branches of the trees the world looked dull and lifeless to
empty eyes.
It wasn’t only hours after the sun had sunk below the tree line that I had made out of the comfort of the forest’s shadows and headed to my girlfriend’s house.
y way
my
At first, Mavis didn’t answer the door. I tried calling her cell but it merely rang and rang until I assumed that she must be asleep.
I was staring at a growing pile of dead moths under a nearby street lamp and contemplating leaving when Mavis finally opened the door. I was relieved.
I had expected to see her cold stare and set jaw, I had prepared myself for eyes full of
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Chapter 16
disgust. Instead, Mavis looked at me and smiled. It was a faint smile but it was there all the same and this made me feel the slightest bit better.
If nothing else, I would always have her.
-Dorothy-
The day following my official rejection by Johan, my injuries were already feeling much better and I was released from the clinic that afternoon. The healer had given me a strict warning not to push myself and told me to contact her if Mavis and her girls ever gave me trouble again..
Ignatius had left the night before, stating that he had some business to attend to before. showing up early the next morning and hovering around my bedside all day long.
I had begun to thoroughly enjoy his company and we kept ourselves occupied with countless debates and conversations on whatever we found interesting. Ignatius told me that he liked my art and I blushed shyly at the flattery.
When it was finally time for me to leave, Ignatius asked if I’d like to spend the evening. at his current place of residence.
I teased him for the formality in which he asked and he told me he was merely trying to present himself as a gentleman so that the healer would be obliged to release me into
his care.
The healer herself laughed at this but warned Ignatius to behave himself. It seemed she had warmed up to him considering her initial cold reaction compared to her light chiding now. We had both grown quite fond of the old bat.
After a call with Anita and reassuring her that I was doing as well as possible considering the situation, Ignatius walked me to his car. I was curious to see the image of two wolves drawn into the dust on the back window but Ignatius brushed it aside when I asked him about it.
We drove in comfortable silence back to the blue villa. I had yet to bring up the topic of our unusual mind-link with Ignatius but, despite our easy conversations, I had no idea our unusual mind-link with Ignatius but, de how to go about mentioning it.
Ignatius too seemed like he had questions. I hugged my overflowing backpack on my lap and decided it was a matter for later.
“Later” turned out to be sooner than I had expected, however, as Ignatius pulled the car up to the villa and turned to me. “Let’s go for a walk.”
He rounded the car and opened my door for me, offering me his hand and guiding me to a path leading into the gardens behind the villa. It had begun to snow lightly-
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powdery white flecks clung to our clothes as we walked.
I squinted as the evening sun shone through the trees. We walked in silence at first and I listened to the dead leaves crunching under our boots. Ignatius had not let go of my hand and I was perfectly fine with that. Even with the frosty air biting at us, his cool fingers were a comfort.
“So,” Ignatius broke the silence first as we trudged along the winding footpath. “What are you going to do now?”
I kicked at the fallen leaves at my feet, keeping my eyes to the ground. “I’m not sure. Technically, I was supposed to replace my mate and eventually live with them. I’m eighteen now too old for foster care.”
I snapped a twig off a branch as we passed and crushed it in my palm, examining the broken black splinters before letting them drift to the ground. “I don’t doubt that Anita would be happy to let me continue living with her for as long as I like, though. But I don’t want to be more of a burden than I already have been.”
“You’re not a burden, Dorothy.”
I half-smiled back at him when he said that. But I knew deep down that it wasn’t true. Everywhere I went, trouble seemed to follow. I had been a burden to Johan. I had been a burden to every family that had taken me in.
Aside from their hesitations about fostering an outsider, my endless nightmares and screaming fits had made their job all the more difficult. Anita had tried her best to be understanding. But I knew that even she had felt the strain of associating with me.
“What about you?” I looked up at Ignatius. “How long before you head back to your pack?”
He was so much taller than me, the top of my head barely reached his narrow shoulders. He gazed ahead as we walked, the evening sun turning his white hair silvery.
“My father will be heading back two days from now. I had only come down to pay a visit to Johan,” he smiled sadly. “Although, I doubt I’ll be seeing him for a while after everything that’s happened. I’m free to leave here whenever I want really.”
My stomach turned at the mention of Johan. The memory of our broken bond still fresh in my mind. My physical wounds were already on the mend, but the internal pain of that rejection was far from dispersing anytime soon.
Furthermore, I felt deeply guilty for all the pain that I myself had caused. I had caused so much needless suffering for Johan by not allowing him to reject me right away.
I had caused tensions between him and Mavis and, despite how much I disliked her, it
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Chapter 16
was a relationship that I should not have meddled in.
I had caused tension between Johan and Ignatius as well. Because of me, the bond between these two old friends would never be the same. I only hoped that with time it could be mended.
“Ignatius, I’m so sorry. It’s my fault that the two of you fought – ”
Ignatius shook his head and clenched my hand tightly. He dislodged a rock from the earth in front of him and kicked it along the ground. “That was far from your fault. Don’t feel guilty for what happened between me and Johan.”
He smiled at me, a real smile. “Besides, it’s not the first time we’ve fought. And I don’t doubt it will be the last time either.”
you think
I didn’t feel any better about it, but decided to let it go for now. “So, when do you’ll be leaving then? There’s not really anything left for you here now that Johan’s out of the picture.”
I wanted to beg him to stay. I wanted to tell him that he meant something to me, that It felt like someone could finally see me as I was and accept all of it. My throat was dry. I kept my head down.
I could feel Ignatius’s eyes on me. I couldn’t bring myself to look up afraid that he’d see the truth of how I felt about him in my eyes.
“There is something for me here, Dorothy.”
He stopped abruptly and I was halted by his hand still gripping mine tightly. Ignatius stood there until I raised my eyes to meet his gaze. His eyes were oceans. I felt I could fall straight into them and sink if I stared for too long.
“There’s you,” Ignatius said quietly, “I don’t quite understand how or why, but you’ve got me h ooked, Dorothy. I’m not going anywhere.”
I stood there, mouth agape, gazing into those ocean eyes for what felt like an eternity. When Ignatius looked away and broke the hold he had on me, I scrambled to recollect my thoughts.
“Oh – okay,” I stammered, unsure of what to say. I couldn’t comprehend his fascination with me. This icy creature who smelled of the sea seemed too far out of reach for a person as insignificant as me. “I’d like that. If you stayed for a while,” I said.
Ignatius began walking again and I hurried to catch up. For each step he took, I had to take two, even when he was slowing his pace for me. Ignatius cut off of the garden pathway all of a sudden and led me through the drooping plants and into the forest.
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The snow was falling harder now and a thin layer of white frost coated the ground. It fell among the trees and glistened in the dying evening light like twin kling fireflies. I could feel the frosty flecks on my eyelashes and in my hair.
I looked around me in amazement as Ignatius led us to a small clearing in the trees. The air was cold and biting. The trees around us were still and silent. The final golden. rays of the sun were vanishing one by one behind them. I had never seen the forest looking as beautiful as it had at that very moment.
It felt as if the whole world was standing still. The only movement was the soft snow coming down around us there in the clearing like a life-sized snow globe.
Ignatius seemed pleased with my reaction as I gazed in awe at the peaceful scene. He took my other hand in his and stood before me, “To make up for your less than ideal birthday. I thought maybe you’d like it here.”
I nodded silently, lost in his eyes once more. Somewhere in the distance, someone was playing the piano. Or maybe it was a radio. Either way, the whimsical tune drifted to us through the trees like a ghostly orchestra was serenading us there in our little ethereal part of the woods.
Ignatius placed a hand on my waist and lifted my right hand like a dance partner preparing to begin a performance. I put a hand on his shoulder and we waltzed quietly there in the clearing to the wispy warbling of that distant music.
Our feet padded softly on the ground as we twirled and the snow fell around us, coating the both of us in frosty droplets. I laughed as Ignatius dipped me gracefully, my hair brushing the fallen snow on the ground, and pulled me back up to his chest.
I stared up into his dark eyes. I could feel the rhythmic beating of his heart and my own fluttered in my chest like a caged bird.
I had never felt so calm, so at peace, as I did right then, gazing into the eyes of a boy I barely knew. I boy I felt I had known all my life. A boy who felt so distant and yet so intertwined with me at the same time.
“Ignatius…” I whispered, as the final ray of daylight left us and the woods were awash in tranquil darkness.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get overhearing you say my name,” he said, as I placed my head against his marble chest and swayed there with him in the dark.
“Happy birthday, Dorothy. I’m beyond grateful to have met you.”
We spun slowly around that clearing like two music box dancers. The dark washed over us and hid our features but I felt Ignatius’s cold b*dy against mine. His l*ps on my n*eck like a promise.
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Chapter 16
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