Secrets & Souls - prequel to The Soul Guide
Chapter 7

Almost four weeks had passed since Bertram and Mellissa had found themselves on the streets of London. And even though Carlo couldn’t have possibly known how they’d arrived that afternoon, they’d retraced their steps as he’d suggested. Bertram had turned down the alleyway ready to be disappointed only to replace the door waiting. Given it had disappeared so suddenly upon their arrival, this had come as a surprise.

When they’d approached the door, Bertram had felt a sudden rush of warmth. A feeling of home, and he had known that Clayhill was on the other side. Two things occurred to him in that moment; that Clayhill had, indeed, become home and that he was connected to the doors, and the keys, in a very unique way. Mellissa had still not been able to see the door, or the light that had pulsed and throbbed around the key that had opened it.

This morning, like almost every other since they’d returned, Mellissa had asked him the same question. “Can we go back Bertram?” And Bertram had responded the same way each time. “The door’s gone, Mellissa. It disappeared the moment we stepped back through.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. It had disappeared after they’d returned. What he failed to tell Mellissa was that it had reappeared again the next morning and remained there like a monolith in his garden. If the truth be known, he didn’t want to go back to London. He was afraid that if they did, then things would change. He was just getting used to living at Clayhill and sharing his life with Mellissa. He wasn’t ready to widen his horizons just yet, and honestly, he really had no need for more people in his life. Especially for those who had so much interest in Mellissa.

“I don’t understand it, Bertram. Why would the door appear the way it did, then disappear and not come back? It makes no sense.”

Bertram shrugged. “I have no idea. Will you pass me the screwdriver, please,” he said, holding out his hand, ignoring the look she gave him.

Mellissa pulled it out of the toolbox and handed it to him. He was putting up some shelves in the walk-in wardrobe she had in her room and she was hovering in the doorway. She had so many clothes, it was getting ridiculous. She needed a proper wardrobe, and the chaise-longue was practically bowing under the weight of them.

“Just seems a little odd. The door appeared for a reason, the only place we found was Carlo’s. He must be important, right?”

“What, Carlo? He’s owns a café, Mellissa, that’s it. Granted, he makes a good cup of coffee, but there’s nothing special about him. It was a coincidence, that’s all.”

“No, there’s more to him than that. Didn’t you feel it, Bertram? I felt as comfortable with him in his café as I do here with you. That doesn’t happen very often with me. He’s special.”

Bertram stiffened, that’s exactly what he was worried about. It didn’t take a genius to notice the connection they had shared. She had been so relaxed in Carlo’s company, more so than she had ever been with him and, if the truth be known, he hated it.

“Well? Tell me I’m wrong,” she insisted.

He didn’t respond, instead he placed a screw in the wood and began turning the screwdriver. It was stiff, and he had to push down hard to get the screw to bite. Having an audience wasn’t helping him to get the job done any quicker. He got the sense that Mellissa wasn’t going to let up today. There was an edginess to her questions this time. Before, she seemed to accept his answer. This morning was different.

“You’re jealous?” Mellissa said, after a beat. “That’s it Bertram, isn’t it? You don’t want me to go back because you think you have competition. Oh, my God.”

Bertram stopped what he was doing and turned to face Mellissa. She was glaring at him. He could see a muscle feather in her jaw. Yet, even then, even when her anger was as fiery as her hair, he still found her beautiful. Why was she so beautiful?

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Mellissa. I am not jealous.” He turned away from her and picked up the plane, taking his anger out on the wood.

“You’re a liar, Bertram. I never thought you’d be the one to lie to me. The truth is written all over your face. You’re glad I can’t see the door because it makes it easier for you to lie to me, doesn’t it? You’ve lied to me every day since we got back. You want me all to yourself. You want to keep me prisoner here. I don’t need to be able to read your thoughts to know that.”

Bertram felt his own anger rise in his chest, but he refused to respond. He leant back over the piece of wood, working furiously. He watched the wispy layers of wood tumble to the floor like they were layers of his own skin as Mellissa’s words stripped him bare.

“I see, so now you’re ignoring me because you know I’m right. What else have you been lying to me about?” Mellissa raged, pulling on Bertram’s shoulder.

Bertram shrugged her hand away. “Leave me be. I have nothing to say to you.”

Mellissa laughed bitterly. “You don’t need to say a thing. I understand you better than you understand yourself. You’re nothing but a fraud, Bertram. A fraud and a liar!”

Bertram felt the sharp edge of the plane slice through his finger, but he didn’t even register the pain as he stood, grabbing Mellissa by the shoulders. He hated her, he loved her, he wanted her, he wanted her to love him. He felt something inside snap when he saw the fire, the distrust in her eyes.

“I do it to protect you. You think I don’t notice when you’re so exhausted by what you do that you can barely stand? You think I can’t feel your desperation to leave, to chase whatever it is that haunts you so? You think I don’t know that you’re keeping secrets from me? I am not the only liar here,” he said, panting.

He saw the shock on her face, and the tears beginning to well in her eyes, but he couldn’t stop, not now all his bottled emotions had a chance of release. “I am not a fraud, and up until recently I have only ever been honest with you, to my detriment it seems. But you were right about one thing- the door is still there, it has been ever since our return. So,

He released her from his grasp and strode out of the bedroom, his heart breaking with every step.