Shouldn't Have Kissed You
Chapter 28

"I never said I wanted a divorce," Maya said looking at him.

Chris locked his gaze with hers. He got scared when she began to talk and he thought that's what she needed. He didn't want to divorce her but he was ready if she said she wanted out of the marriage.

After all, it was his fault that the marriage never worked between the two of them. His and no one else. So the blame was all in him. He never tried even from the word go. All he saw was revenge. And look where it brought him. He ended up being like her father. The monster he was.

And now that he had apologize to her and promised that he would give her a divorce if she asked for it, he was ready. Ready to make up for his wrong decision. Ready to do right to her and if divorce was the right thing, he would grant Maya that. He would sign those papers even though he knew it would hurt him.

Why? He himself had no idea.

"If only you would let me finish talking," Maya said getting up from her couch, "I don't want to divorce you, Chris. I mean, you did me wrong. You scared the shit out of me every time you hurt me. I didn't want to go through what I went through with my dad and on my wedding day, I was happy.

"Happy that I was leaving my dad. Happy that he won't be able to hurt me because I'm going to be someone's wife. But when I saw you standing at the alter with revenge written all over your eyes, I said I was just reading too much in the line. I was just too happy to see what was coming my way. I mean, how can my husband hurt me.

"But then again, my own biological father hates me the most in the world. Then, what about the man that I just met a month ago and the following one we're getting married. I was too naive to see that. Too naive to believe that there were still beast like my dad out there. I thought it wouldn't get any worse than it was. So, I said I do without thinking. And from that time, you began your revenge."

Chris watched her wipe her tears away. She wasn't looking at him when she spoke but he felt her pain. All the men in her life has disappointed her. He was a beast just as she had called him. A beast.

"I wasn't happy because I married a wealth man and famous man like you thought. I mean, I've my own money. My life wasn't as everyone out there things. Yes, I was born with a silver spoon but I had to struggle. To educate myself. In Primary school, I used to fill those government papers so that I can have my fee paid. I was in boarding school since my dad was sick of seeing my ugly face as you once upon a time called it. I get it, I'm not beautiful but that doesn't mean I should be bullied about my looks. After all, we don't tell God how to create us. To me the Bible says I'm fearful and wonderful made. "So after passing my primary exams, I had to join highschool and my dad wanted to sent me to a boarding school but my brother didn't allow it. He fought for me and because my dad loved him and listened to him, he allowed me to the same highschool my brother was. Of course, I had to pay my own school fees because according to my dad this time, he had no money to waste on bastard kid like me. But this time, I didn't use government funds at all. My brother helped me pay for my fee. I got a job at a clinic near my home where I was helping by cleaning and arranging things in order.

"Then my brother finished highschool and refused to be a doctor like my dad. He wanted to join army and my dad was very disappointed. So, he did what he thought was the best thing to do. He left home never to return till this day. I've not even heard a word from him. But he made sure that I was covered in my studies. He paid my fee and even left all his life time savings for me to use as my college fee. That's how I survived. That's how no one knows how my life wasn't as they think it was.

"And when I met you, I thought that we could be friends. We didn't have to leave as man and wife. I was ready to allow you to still continue dating your girlfriend because someone like you must have had one. But you took me as your enemy. You made me sleep on a cold floor for months. You made me hate myself all over again. You made sure I wasn't happy in my life. That's what you did to me. You even went to an extent of chasing away the only friend who hasn't left me behind as the others do. And worse, you called the man that I was happy not seeing for months to come and remind me how unwanted I am in this world. To be honest, I hated you, Chris Rollins.

"Yes, I hated you. I wanted to do something to that will make you remember me till death. I wanted you to feel my wrath. To have a taste of your own medicine. That's what I wanted Chris. For you to pay. To pay for every pain I ever experienced in your hands. That's what I want to do. But thanks to my friend, she helped me understand that I was better than this. I was better than you, Kimberly and most of all my father

"I'm better than you and I'm glad I realized that early. I don't want to be bitter. I don't want to poison my soul. I just pray to God to give me a pure heart. A heart that sees good in people. The one that gives people a second change even without them asking for it. That's what I want in my life.

"To see good in them and not the evil in them. To see the possibility to change for good and not for bad. I want a forgiving heart and not a revengeful one. I want a heart that holds no grudges with people. A heart that is ready to love all the time and not ready to hurt. That's all I prayed to Almighty.

"Although the Bible doesn't allow divorce, I'll give you one Chris. For your happiness and mine. We got married in different circumstances. I needed to escape my dad and you needed to save your life from his threats. It wasn't out of love. Yes, I love you, but as a fellow human being. As for you, you love someone else and I'm not against. So I'll divorce you."

Chris watched her turn around to look at him. He didn't want that. He didn't want a divorce from her. But he had hurt her. He was just like her father. There was no difference between him and the monster of her father. Maybe it was time she had a happy life.

A life where her psycho of a father wasn't around and him. She needed to know what's like to be happy. To have a freedom of her own. To learn how to love herself before she committed to any other person in life.

It was for her own good and also his. He also needed to know what he wanted in life. He had feelings for two women and he had to know which one were true ones. It's was about time he also worked on his true feelings. Chris got up and walked where Maya stood. She didn't break eye contact and for that, he was grateful.

He wanted to stare at those green eyes. He wanted to remind himself how much of a damage he had made to them. How many times he had made them cry. He was a monster and monsters like him, they didn't deserve angels like her. Chris placed his hands on both her shoulders.

"I do understand, Maya," he was fighting his own tears, "I'm not what you expected me to be and if it's a divorce that you want, I'll grant it to you. For your happiness."

Chris wiped away her tears, "it's not mine alone, Chris," she said looking away from him. "But also yours. It's time you shout to the whole world that you love Kimberly."

Chris took a step back from her and looked away. He didn't want her to see the hurt in his facial expression. It did hurt that they're getting a divorce and he didn't know why. This was the woman that he was supposed to hate all his life. But now, now it hurt him that they're separating.

"I guess you're right. It's about time everyone knew the truth."

He turned back to replace her smiling.

"You know," she began, "I never thought that one day I'll get married to someone that I didn't love but here I am. Married to you. Never also in my wildest dreams did I think that I'll ever get a divorce but here again I am. I guess bad luck is always following me wherever I go. I think I'm cursed as my dad loved to remind me every time he saw my face."

"I don't think there is something wrong with having bad things happen in your life. I mean, if you have a perfect life all through then, that's in normal."

Maya laughed at his statement.

"You know Maya," Chris took a step towards her, "you need a man who ruins your lips and not your mascara. I mean, you don't need someone like me who makes you cry all the time. You need someone who will kiss those full lips of yours and when you cry, it's not to ruin your mascara but because of happiness. And I'm sure he is out there waiting for you."

Maya smiled at him.

"Is that quote from Africa?"

Chris knew she was holding her laughter and he was happy that the mood was changing in the room.

"Very funny, Maya," he said laughing. "Can a man not make his own quote if at all its a quote."

"I guess you're good at it then. I'm guessing you use them with all girls and they love them."

"Haha... I don't date girls, I go for women and who won't love them. I'm good looking actually."

"Please, I've seen better that you."

"Really?" he was in her personal space.

Maya smiled at him, "Yeah really." He was in her personal space and she felt herself loosing air in her lungs.

"And have you kissed those good looking guys?" He didn't know what he was doing but his hands where on her full lips.

They're so damn tempting and he wanted to have a taste of them for the third time in his life. The second one was a mistake. Yes, a mistake since he thought it was his girlfriend. But the first one, he wanted to taste them since he first set his eyes on her while performing. And now, now he wanted to feel them in his lips. To remind himself how good it feels to kiss them.

"Yeah," she broke the spell and took a step back. "And they're good kisses if you're wondering."

"Really now?" He just found himself asking that. He knew he had repeated himself again but the tension was so strong at the moment. And to make the matters worse, his legs had mind of their own since ever step she took backwards, his took forward.

"Can they make you feel like this?"

He was about to pull her to him when she fell on a couch that she had no idea was behind her. He laughed at her as she made a childish faces on him. She looked adorable but nothing lasts forever.

"So," she said once he was done laughing, "about the divorce, I think we should wait for a year to end before we sign the papers. I mean, to the whole world, we married out of love and love doesn't fade in five months. But we can have the papers being processed so when that time comes, we'll just sign them."

Chris sat on the couch too.

"And we'll tell everyone that things didn't work as we thought it would. It's a good idea. I'll have my lawyer meet yours and you can tell him what you want when we get divorced." "Sure thing," Maya yawned.

"OMG!" He exclaimed looking at his wrist watch, "it's almost three in the morning."

Maya got up from her seat, "I must be in the hospital at seven," she began to walk towards the stairs.

"I'll clean this up. Go and get some rest, Maya," Chris got up and took the plates that were at the coffee table to the kitchen.

He cleaned the dirty dishes and wiped them putting them away. His mum made sure that he never left dirty dishes in the sink and his nanny didn't do his dish. She never even allowed a dish washer in her house. According to her, she didn't love laziness and that's why he has no dish washer in the mansion. He was happy that his mum made him a responsible man.

Although he had disappointed her with Maya. He was sorry for that and he promised that he would make it up to them for the remaining months he has left with her. That was his promise to himself. Chris pureed himself a glass of cold water before he went to his room.

It's not mine anymore but ours. It's our room.

He corrected himself as he opened the door. Maya wasn't in her usual place which made him think she had gone to the guest room. He didn't want here there and neither on the cold floor. He wanted her in their room. Sleeping there with him all the remaining months before there divorce.

He closed the door and walked to the nightstand. He light the lights on and just when he was about to walk to the bathroom, he saw Maya on the couch. That's when he noticed that there were pillows missing from his bed and duvet. He walked to the bathroom and changed into sleeping pajamas, sweatpants and a tee shirt.

Once done, he walked to the closest and took out another duvet and three other pillows. He made his bed and walked to the couch where Maya had thrown her duvet down. Maybe she was used to not covering herself up that she even didn't know when the covers fell down. He picked them up and covered her up.

Chris leaned in and pecked her forehead which she responded by turning herself away from him. He didn't know why but he did replace that amusing. He then covered her up to her shoulder and leaned to her

ears.

"I know you might think you're dreaming and that's fine by me. I just want to promise you that the remaining months of our marriage, will be the best day of our lives. Yes, our, mine and yours, Maya. I promise." He got up and walked to his bed where he got under covers and switched off the lights.

"Good night, Maya."☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐