Some Mate You Are...
Losing Hope

Over the next few weeks, Alpha Harm would come down to my dungeon, at least, once a day. Though, admittedly, keeping track of time was difficult as there were no windows where I was being kept and Harm would often turn the lights on or off indiscriminately. If it were not for the wolfsbane being pumped through my system, I would have been able to keep track using my wolf’s connection to the moon. But in my current state, I was left in the dark, literally.

Harm was my only contact with the outside world, and he was using that to his full advantage. Every day he would fill my head with stories that worked in favor of his cause. Sometimes it would be a lecture on why I was better suited for him than I was Enzo, all of his reasons being rather superficial. It basically came down to the fact that he found me very attractive and because of that, we were meant to be. But when I attempted to argue back that his reasoning was ridiculous, I quickly discovered what my new collar had been for as I was shocked violently. The force of it being enough to bring me to my knees.

Other times, he would go on about Enzo’s betrayal of me. He would tell me stories about Enzo being on dates with other she-wolves, flaunting his newfound freedom as a "mateless" wolf. At first, I told Harm that I did not believe him as he would describe Enzo’s latest conquests to me in great detail. And that was when he began to bring me photographs. Pictures of Enzo flirting, laughing, and even a few times kissing other females; she-wolves who very clearly were not me. Sometimes he was in his wolf-form and at others he was human. Either way, these images were making it far more difficult to hold onto my belief that Harm had been lying about Enzo being glad that I was gone.

And with Harm’s daily stories, came his nighttime tortures. Every night I would be forced to listen to his speakers playing whatever he desired on repeat. Some nights I would have to listen to the recording of Enzo referring to my disappearance as a favor to him. However, most nights, I was subjected to a recording of Harm’s voice which would repeat phrases over and over again that were designed to endear me to Harm.

“Alpha Harm is your Alpha. You serve only Alpha Harm and no others. You love Alpha Harm and he loves you. You will be mated to Alpha Harm. You will be the perfect mate and Luna for Alpha Harm. You will always do what Alpha Harm tells you without question.”

And then it would start again. The words even managing to intrude their way into my dreams.

I knew what he was trying to do. He was attempting to use subliminal messaging to trick me into his way of thinking. I knew that I needed to remain strong, but it was becoming more difficult with each passing day. As he hung the pictures of Enzo with different women all over the basement so that I was forced to stare at them whenever the lights were on. As he denied me food whenever I did not cooperate or said something cross. As he literally shocked me into submission with the high voltage collar fixed to my neck. As he brainwashed me with his incessant instructions playing through my mind.

Until one day, he came downstairs, and I sat still in the middle of my cell, a mere shell of the wolf that I had been. Locking away the few remaining fragments of myself deep within my mind, far away from his influence. It was my final act of defiance. My final attempt at protection. There was nothing more that I could do. I had been there for so long now, that I had not even the slightest clue of how long it could possibly have been.

I had given up hope on a chance at rescue. If anyone were searching for me, it did not appear that they were going to be successful at replaceing me. Though, I was starting to wonder if Alpha Harm had been telling the truth all along. Perhaps no one was looking. Maybe they really did not care that I was gone. Kiara belonged to a new pack now. Aida was busy with her mate, she-Beta duties, and possible pregnancy if our speculations had been correct. My parents had a lot of other stuff going on. As did Alpha Griffith and Luna Rigina. Perhaps they figured that it was not worth the effort to replace one sad, little she-wolf. Especially if Enzo had given up looking so quickly as Harm insisted that he had. I did not want to believe it, but what if it had been true.

My only way out of this place was going to be if I found it myself. I did not know when or how long it would take. Maybe it would be years. But the only way to ever have a chance at gaining my freedom was to get Alpha Harm to trust me and for that I had to give in. I had to be what he wanted me to be, at least, on the outside. It was the only way to get out of this room; the only way to escape this cage.

“Hello, Alpha Harm.” I offered in a monotone voice, my face expressionless.

“Hello, Marvel.” He returned with a smile. “How nice it is to be greeted by you so pleasantly. I trust this means that our reconditioning is beginning to take effect.”

“Yes, Alpha Harm. I trust you when you say that the Crescent Moon Pack is not coming to rescue me.” I replied, not really lying as I did now believe that I was not going to be rescued.

“And Enzo?” He pressed, venom dripping from his voice as he spit out my mate’s name.

“Enzo does not want me.” I replied smoothly.

“This is true. As is evidenced by his recent behaviors.” Harm nodded as he gestured towards the collection of photographs hanging on the wall behind him.

As if I needed the reminder. I had been forced to stare at those images for far too long at this point and new ones were constantly being added.

“But do you still want him?” He clarified as he stepped closer to the bars of my cell.

Of course, I did. Even if everything that Harm had said was true. Even if Enzo wanted nothing to do with me any longer. If, for some reason, he had changed his mind again. There would always be a part of me that desired to be with him. We were mates after all. Fated to be together by the Moon Goddess, herself. Two halves of the same soul. But I knew that if I admitted that out loud then it would anger Harm and that was something that I did not want to do.

I would say whatever I needed to say in order to get out of this damn cage. I knew that I would lose my mind if I was forced to stay in there much longer. Even with the wolfsbane flowing through my veins, I was still a wolf, and like any wild animal, I could not stand being trapped. So, I glanced at the photographs that hung on the wall, focusing in on one in particular. A picture of Enzo, passionately, kissing a woman that I recognized as Cora. The same female that he had brought as a date to the same dinner where I had accompanied Harm. Not surprised that she would manage to weasel her way back into Enzo’s bed once I was no longer an obstacle.

“My feelings for him quickly fade.” I lied.

A sick smile spread across Harm’s face as he grinned from ear to ear. An excitement flashed in his eyes that made me want to cringe, yet I remained stoic. I reminded myself that freedom was the objective, and I was going to do whatever I had to do to get it. WHATEVER I had to do.

“Good…you are coming along nicely.” He praised as he licked his lips like an animal salivating over a meal.

However, he did not let me out that day. Or the next day. Each day he would come down to question me about my loyalties. Assessing my answers and whether or not he could trust what I was saying. Until, finally, he opened the door to my cell. He approached me with shackles, affixing one set to my wrists and the other set around my ankles.

“These are simply a precaution until I am more certain that I can trust you.” He explained. “Earn my trust and I will remove the set around your wrists. Prove that you can be trusted even further, and I will remove the ones around your ankles.”

“And my collar?” I asked, the tone in my voice almost betraying my excitement.

“Eventually.” He said, patting my head as if I were a pup in need of encouragement.

I huffed inwardly, but I knew that I would take whatever he was going to offer. Anything for, at least, the hope to one day be rid of that heavy, metal, torture device around my neck.

“For now, you will serve me during the day, remaining always by my side. You will answer my every whim or else you will be punished.” He paused for effect, holding up the remote to my collar as a devious reminder. “At night, you will return to your cage, where you will sleep until such a time that I deem it appropriate for you to begin sleeping in my quarters with me.”

“Yes, Alpha Harm.” I responded, robotically, although the idea of sleeping in his room with him made me feel physically ill.

“Excellent! I am so happy that we have finally gotten to this point! It will be so much better to have you with me than keeping you down in this dingy cellar.” Harm chirped, happily. “Now…come along…” He bid as he turned to exit the cage.

“Um…Alpha…” I interjected, cautiously, as I stood to follow him.

“Yes?” He replied as he turned back around to look at me.

“Is there a chance that I could get some less revealing clothing?” I wondered. “I just do not know how comfortable I am wearing something like this around a busy pack house.” I gestured towards the frilly red lace outfit that I was wearing, which was essentially little more than a mostly see-through bathing suit.

I may have been a prisoner. He may have been attempting to brainwash me. But that did not remove the little sense of modesty that I still held onto. Especially in a pack house full of wolves that I did not know.

“Oh, silly girl, we are not at the pack house. My pack would never understand the lengths that I have had to go through to make you mine.” He chuckled. “No. We will be remaining here, in a private residence outside of the Blood Moon territory. Once I am certain that you will return to the pack and act appropriately as my mate, then we will join the others. Until then, my Beta is in charge of the pack while I focus my efforts on training you.”

This admission surprised me more than many of the others had. What kind of Alpha just abandoned his pack for an unknown amount of time? What if the pack needed him? What of the responsibilities that he was meant to take care of? Betas were meant to be the back-ups to the Alpha. Much like a vice president to a president. They offered support and they would handle the jobs that the Alpha did not have time for or simply could not do. They were not meant to simply run the pack by themselves. Or, at least, most Alphas would not give them the chance to for more than like a week or two at a time. Alphas were usually fairly possessive, especially when it came to their pack. It was odd that he would share responsibility with another who was not his Luna. Only further proof that he was crazed and could not be trusted to behave how other wolves might in this situation. He was unpredictable.

“Now come along. I will give you a tour of the house and then you will begin making us something for lunch.” He prompted as he walked towards the staircase that led up into the rest of the house.

I shuffled along slowly behind him. Not only had it been some time since I had been allowed a proper walk. I had also been drugged, starved, and abused. I was feeling weaker than I was accustomed to. And on top of all of that, I now had to get used to moving with the weight of the shackles around my ankles and the chains that connected them dragging along beween my feet.

The experience was both frustrating and humiliating, but I did not see a choice in the matter. At least, I could take solace in the fact that there would be no one else around to see me struggling like this. I did not care about embarrassing myself in front of Harm. He was a psycho, so I gave his opinion little thought. Just because he wanted me to pretend that I respected or adored him did not mean that I actually ever would. He may be successfully causing me to lose hope. But he would never convince me to truly love him.