Submitting to My Best Friend's Dad by Scarlett Rossi
Chapter 195 -

Весса.

A knock came at my door in the morning, causing me to let out a light groan. I turned in the bed, considering pretending that I was still asleep. Maybe I'd be left alone in my thoughts then.

I didn't want to face this gigantic issue right now.

After that talk with Neal at midnight, my stomach had twisted into several knots. My feelings on the matter were too complicated to focus on right now, not when I didn't know where we were going to end up. James insisted on Italy, but I was firm in my disagreement.

Neal had sounded so dejected and depressed. I felt a pang of sadness but chose James for a reason.

So I thought. Right now, after all of this, and his insistence on going back to Italy, I wasn't sure. That said, he loved the kids dearly.

He had been so happy upon the finality of that trial. We could be a family now, but his past would follow him like a baby duck to its mother. Italy was too dangerous, and I really didn't know why he kept insisting so hard. "Becca?" James asked, causing me to groan. "Can I come in?" I was still contemplating just telling him no, to go away and leave me alone.

I didn't get much sleep last night at all, and my mood just kept slipping. I couldn't hide from this forever, though.

"Yes," I said, finally sitting up in bed and crossing my arms. I propped my back up against a pillow, leaning back and watching the door. "Turn on the light when you come in, James." Curtains were covering my window, so it was rather dark. I couldn't see well.

The door opened, revealing James, who was standing there looking disheveled. Clearly, our fight had affected him just as badly. By the tired glint in his eyes, I knew he also was low on sleep.

I felt a little bad, but at the same time, really didn't want to waver.

"Becca," he muttered, doing as I asked and flicking on the light. I narrowed my eyes at the brightness, taking a moment to adjust and confirming what I saw about James. He blinked slowly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"We should talk more about going back to Italy," James started, causing me to clench my jaw and stare at him with defiance. He saw this expression and returned it, narrowing his eyes.

Here we were again, having yet another fight about this subject.

"I haven't changed my mind," I said firmly, keeping a hard stare on him. "I don't want our kids in danger, and that's what will happen if we go back to Italy. There has to be somewhere else we can go."

"Where?" James asked, his tone very frustrated. He quickly removed his hand from the back of his neck and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked as though he were about to stomp his foot, being standoffish in situations like this, as usual. "I don't know, but not here, and not Italy. I agree, this place is very temporary, but I've thought so much about it, James, and going back to Italy is a bad idea," I said. "Why can't you see that? You of all people should know." "Of all people?" James asked flatly, exhaling sharply. His eyes turned cold for a moment as he stared me down, shaking his head. "Look, Becca, I can handle it. You have to trust me. You've trusted me this long, why not now? We won the case." "We won the case because Chad is very clearly an incompetent asshole, and I made a moving speech for Alessandro," I said, annoyed. "You showed how frustrated you get over the mafia issues, which still would be a problem in Italy. James opened his mouth to interject, but I kept on talking. "That's why I said 'of all people.' After what happened in the trial, bringing everything to the surface again, why would you want to seriously go to Italy? I don't get it." "Because it's my REAL home, Becca," James replied in an irritated tone. "I can't keep running away from everything, and besides, it's done. We finished it. Like I said yesterday, if the enemies of my family wanted to get us, they would have by now, regardless of where we are."

"Well, maybe we weren't a focus, but would be when we get back to Italy," I replied, narrowing my own eyes and shaking my head. "We can't. We have a new life to start, and all of those problems need to be left behind." "They will be, in Italy included," James said. "It would be for a while. Maybe not permanently. You should at least be open to trying, it's a place we can settle together and be happy." His tone was now pleading, but I wasn't buying it.

"I don't know," I said finally, probably better than the resistance I was giving him lately. This probably gave him some hope, as he latched onto the fact that I was unsure as opposed to completely against the idea. I wanted to end this argument and think about it more.

"Okay, so that means you could be willing to give it a try," James said. "At the first sign of mafia activity affecting our lives, we'll move on. But I want to go back to my home there and raise our family. I can't emphasize enough how our lives will be wonderful there, Becca."

I shook my head, placing a hand on my forehead. This was all too much. James added, We've both handled a lot, and can handle this. It's not even an issue to handle, nothing regarding the mafia will come up. How many times do I have to say that for you to understand?"

"A thousand times more," I grumbled. "Like I said. I don't know. Let me think about it. Okay? That should be better than just a flat out no that has you hung up. Right?"

"Yes," James said, letting out a sigh of relief. The man dipped his head, his eyes twinkling. "There were wonderful times in Italy too, Becca. We can have those again, without any of the bad. Think about that when considering your decision, alright?"

"Fine," I said, waving my hand dismissively. I laid back down, no longer looking at him. "I need to get some sleep. I've been losing a lot of it lately." With that, I heard the door close. I felt a pang of guilt and worried if I was being too hard on James.

Maybe I was. I promised myself I would think about everything, and try to propose a plan as opposed to just being flat-out difficult. I couldn't present my case properly without a backup plan, after all. After a few hours of sleep, this time where I was able to get more than just a few winks in, I got up again. I rolled out of bed, flicking on the light and stretching. Then, I got dressed, my mind set on doing a bit of research today.

In the other room, I heard childish laughter and giggling. This was intermingled with the chuckles of James, which caused me to smile a little. He was occupying the children, playing with them, and had probably given them a good breakfast. In fact, the smell of eggs and bacon hit my nose, causing me to enter the kitchen. In my usual spot, there was a plate with the food on it. Well, he certainly knew how to bribe my stomach. I begrudgingly sat down and began to eat. My conversation with Antoinette ran through my head, causing me to contemplate other options. What if starting a charity in another place, somewhere less fortunate, was what I was meant to do? We would be away from this place, away from Italy, away from the mafia.

I took a bite of the egg, the yolk seeping over my tongue for some savory goodness. Then, I munched on some bacon while my mind whirled about a mile an hour. By the time I took a sip of my orange juice, I made my decision to factor that in during my research.

When I finished breakfast, I took the plate to the sink and rinsed it off. Humming to myself, I decided I would dedicate a few hours of my day to this purpose, then bring it up to James. We had plenty of money and could handle relocating. At least we had that going for us.

After putting the plate into the dishwasher, I ran through today's chores in my mind, getting to work on them so I could get some out of the way before I researched. There weren't many, as Layla often helped with those, too. Still, it kept my hands busy.

When I finished what I needed to do, I entered the guest room again, sitting down at the desk and flexing my fingers. Soon, I was typing away, going through web pages, and trying to replace reasonable areas where we could start a charity. I wanted to be on-site and see where the money went. I could even do some of the work, be it delivering books, building houses, helping on farms, or something else. I was an urban woman, not a farm woman, but old dogs could learn new tricks.

Antoinette did some charity work in Africa, for example. I began typing, looking up the status of various countries within that continent, and trying to figure out both what sounded the best for my family and where I could give the most help. Most of what I saw just wasn't satisfying for one reason or another. Either they had plenty of help already, the charity work wasn't something I wanted to do, or I didn't think it was a fit for my family.

Alright, time to move on. I clicked through a few more articles and came across one on Guatemala, specifically children in need. There were plenty there who lost their families or were growing up in horrible circumstances. My heart sank at that thought, especially regarding violent situations. In a way, that had almost been Alessandro's fate. Though the situations would be very different. I could start a charity there and put in a lot of work to help them. Plus, the environment sounded like a wonderful place for us to be. The cities and nature surrounding the area was beautiful. We'd be away from New York, Italy, and hopefully left alone by the mafia and Cartwrights. I smiled to myself, satisfied with my decision.

However, I ran my tongue over my lips nervously. Would James feel the same? Would he take my wishes in this seriously? The more I thought about it, the more I realized how much a cause like this meant to me. Hopefully, he would feel the same and hear me out.