Submitting to My Best Friend's Dad by Scarlett Rossi
Chapter 373 -

*Giovani*

Finally, it was time to take a break from strategizing. Immediately, I went to replace Olivia, hoping she was willing to see me this time. I had a growing tension headache, and I desperately needed to spend some time with her so I could begin to relax. I knew it was all going to be okay; Alessandro had grown a lot and I was confident that between the two of us as well as Gabriel, we'd be able to get Dmitri in no time.

But that didn't change the fact that it was fucking horrible any time I had to send my men into dangerous situations. If it was up to me, I'd be the only one who ever had to stick my neck out for the family, but I knew that that was shitty leadership, and my men loved the opportunity to prove themselves. I just wasn't sure how many more deaths I could take.

I headed to my room, hoping to replace Olivia there. I knew that spending a few hours in bed with her before dinner would be the perfect way to take the edge of the day off. I opened our door, wanting nothing more than to see one of her sweet smiles, but she wasn't there. It wasn't that surprising; she had been spending so much time lately with Dahlia. The two of them loved to relax in the hot tub outside, so that's where I headed first.

Damn, she wasn't in the hot tub. It was too bad, I loved seeing her in her cute little bikini while the steam from the hot water curled up around her. I looked all around the courtyard, but she was nowhere to be found, so I went back inside. I found Dahlia in the kitchen and asked if she had seen Olivia.

"No, I don't know where she is," she told me, her eyes looking unusually serious. "But Gio... you have to know that she's been pretty upset lately, like talking about leaving upset."

Anxiety flared in my stomach at Dahlia's words. "Fuck, I thought I had convinced her that we could keep her safe. Doesn't she know she's safe here?"

"It's hard for her to believe that when she's constantly overhearing conversations about people dying," Dahlia said pointedly. "She went off to replace you, but she came back to me in a panic."

I thought back to my earlier conversation with Gabriel and grimaced. I hoped she hadn't overheard that one.

"I've tried to tell her enough so that she knows what's going on without freaking her the fuck out," I explained to Dahlia.

"Yeah, me too, but it's not working. You need to do a better job of keeping her informed. And remind her that there's a reason our family has been so successful; it's because you know what you're doing."

I nodded. She was right. I had been trying so hard to keep Olivia in the dark so she wouldn't walk around terrified, but it had only made things worse for her. She had no idea how much more in control we were than Dmitri's assholes because she wasn't hearing the positive conversations. Yeah, it was still really damn stressful, but not to the point where I was scared I couldn't keep her safe.

"She just doesn't understand, Gio," Dahlia continued. "She didn't grow up with this like we did."

"I know. And I feel like I just keep failing her. Every time I try to make it better, try to make her feel safer, something happens that ruins it." I couldn't lose Olivia, I just couldn't.

"Try looking in her old room," she said. "She wanted some time to think. She goes there sometimes when she's feeling stressed."

"Thanks, Dahlia," I said with relief. I desperately hoped she was right; our conversation had left me with an even stronger need to replace Olivia. I needed to replace her, and I knew exactly what I was going to say when I did.

I opened the door to Olivia's old room slowly so she would know I was coming in. Just as Dahlia had said, she was there, sitting on the bed. It broke my heart to see her sitting there, just staring off into space. She looked terrified, and it was all my fault. I had done a terrible job of helping her feel safe.

"Hey, baby, what are you doing in here?" I asked softly, moving to sit by her side on the bed.

I didn't want her to think I was upset to replace her hiding out in her old room. I was here to help make her feel safe and comforted, and if spending time in her old room was what she needed, then that's what she deserved. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, wanting her to snuggle in but not wanting to force it if that's not what she wanted. To my relief, she relaxed her body against mine and buried her face against my chest.

"Hey," she said, not looking up from where she had pressed herself against me.

"Carino, I need to tell you something." I stopped to make sure she could hear the seriousness in my voice. The story I was about to tell her was one I did not like to revisit, but I had a feeling it might help her, and I was willing to do anything to help her.

She nodded against me, encouraging me to continue speaking.

"The first time I saw someone get shot, I was twelve years old," I took a deep breath as the memory came back to me in hard flashes, "It gave me nightmares for years. It's-it's hard to talk about even now, all these years later."

She looked up at me and put her hand on my cheek. I leaned into the soft touch, she was so fucking sweet. I really didn't deserve her, and I was terrified that she would figure that out.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she murmured, looking up at me with her beautiful eyes.

"No, I need to tell you. It's fucking hard to think about, but you've got to know that you're not the only one who's been scared."

She nodded and waited silently for me to go on, keeping her hand on my face the whole time.

"The beginning is a little blurry. I don't remember why we were out or even where exactly we were. I've been told that's normal when something traumatic happens. It's your brain's way of protecting you. Anyway, the man who'd been assigned to be my bodyguard, his name was Tommaso, and I were going somewhere, I remember we were just walking down the street. It's funny because I don't remember what the hell we were doing, but I can remember clear as day what he was wearing-black pants and a dark green sweater. He had unusually red hair, and I remember thinking that he seemed to wear that dark green color a lot." I laughed, but it was an angry laugh.

Tommaso hadn't just been assigned to be my bodyguard that day. He had been my bodyguard for four years. He had been like an older brother to me, there for me during every important moment. He was more than just a bodyguard to me, but Olivia didn't need to know that. I forced myself not to think about the fact that I was still keeping shit from her, even as I was promising to open up.

"The fucking Russians had been making threats on my family for a few months, so Tommaso was always on high alert when he took me in public. It seems like the goddamn Russians just can't leave me alone."

I paused as I thought about what happened next. Over the years I had managed to convince the logical side of my brain that it wasn't my fault, but that didn't stop the emotional part from feeling guilty as hell. Olivia waited patiently for me to continue. I took a deep breath and forced myself to keep going.

"I-I saw something in the street. I thought it was a coin. And I was only twelve. Just a stupid fucking kid. So I darted out in the street, away from Tommaso. By the time he noticed, it was too late. One of the Russian assholes had been following us, just waiting for me to get separated. The second I was a few feet away, the guy wrapped his arm around me and was shoving a gun against my head."

"Gio, oh my god," Olivia breathed.

I forced myself to keep going. "Luckily for me, Tommaso was one of the best. He managed to pull his gun and shoot the bastard in the hand, making it so he cuoldn't shoot me. Then, he ran over and yanked me away without me getting shot. The backup guards that had been waiting in the car close by ran up and had me surrounded. I was safe. The guy had fallen to the ground, and we all thought he was out of commission, but the piece of shit who'd grabbed me still had a loaded gun. He knew he was too outnumbered to do anything to me, but while Tommaso had his back turned, making sure I'd made it to safety, that Russian scum shot him in the back with his wounded hand before getting up off the ground and running away. Tommaso bled out there in the street, right in front of me."

I stopped talking, my heart beating erratically as I remembered that moment when I had seen the life go out of Tommaso's eyes. I remember I had screamed when it happened and tried to get to him, but the guards around me wouldn't let me get closer.

"That's fucking awful," Olivia said, her voice thick with emotion.

"I know. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, carina, it is fucking awful. I had nightmares for years, always ending the same way: with Tommaso dying in front of me while I stood there helpless to stop it. Usually, the gun would get turned on me, and I'd wake up screaming."

Olivia wrapped her arms around me and squeezed me tightly, trying to offer comfort. Her little acts of love melted my heart. She was so fucking sweet.

"Olivia, I tell you all this to tell you that it's normal to be scared. I was fucking terrified when that happened. Hell, I've grown up in this life, and I still get scared at times. I would worry about myself if I didn't get scared."

She nodded, going back to hiding her face against my chest. It was amazing how much she could set aside her own stress when she was focused on comforting me. I could tell that now that the conversation was turning back to her fears, she was curling back into herself.

As much as I didn't want to know the answer, I had to ask, "My love, I need to know, can you live with this, this fear that will always be here?"

I gently tucked my thumb under her chin and pulled her face up so I could see what she was thinking. My heart shattered when I saw the tears in her eyes.

I had a horrible feeling that I knew exactly what she was going to say.