My entire world has somehow tilted on its axis, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be right-side up again.

My heart pounds as I walk towards the counter. I keep my smile in place, but in my head, I can’t fathom what just happened. Who I just saw. I’m immensely glad that Quinn mostly avoided my gaze at first, because I don’t know if I could have hidden my reaction so well if she hadn’t. My entire world has somehow tilted on its axis, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be right-side up again.

Quinn Holt is almost the spitting image of Sam. With the exception of copper hair instead of Sam’s blonde, and green eyes instead of Sam’s brown, her face structure, her body type, and the way she moved were all Sam. Well, except that Sam had more confidence, but all the same, it’s like seeing a ghost.

Memories well up inside my head, and I shove them right back down as deep as they can go. Quinn is not Sam. Sam is dead and buried, and I don’t believe in reincarnation or anything else that could explain it. No, it’s merely a coincidence, that’s all. Which is why I ignore every instinct inside me to turn around and go after Quinn. To look at her one more time to see if my mind is just playing a cruel trick on me, or if she really looks like the woman I lost.

Instead, I focus on Rose and Torque, who are watching me behind the counter. Rose’s mouth is pulled down into a slight frown, and Torque is patiently waiting. The last thing I need right now is Rose digging at me, so I focus on Torque instead, and the reason I’m here. “Titan called and said that new part for my bike is in.”

Torque nods. “Got it out back. I’ll run and get it. Or do you want me just to schedule you in later this week?”

I hate being without my bike, and while I’m mechanically savvy, I don’t quite have Torque’s touch with it. “Schedule it in,” I say with a shrug. “I’ll have one of the Prospects drive me over to the office afterwards. Got too much damn paperwork anyway to worry about going anywhere.”

Torque nods and looks at Rose expectantly. She just arches a brow at him. “Care to fill in the little woman on what we’re talking about?” she asks sweetly, but the glint in her eyes makes clear that she doesn’t appreciate being talked around. I bite back a chuckle.

Torque fills her in and then gives her a big, charming smile that he probably hopes will get him out of trouble. “If you don’t mind booking that in, Oh Great Mother of Mine?” he asks.

Rose snorts. “If you were actually sincere, I might believe you, but yes, I’ll do it.” As she taps away on the keyboard, she adds, “You really need a receptionist here, Torque. I don’t mind filling in, but someone consistent will keep this place moving a lot smoother.”

Torque sighs. “I know. I’ll put an ad together tonight and we can post it. I figured we could manage without one after the last fiasco, but apparently that was wishful thinking.”

“Well, if you would think with the big head instead of the little head when hiring them, it wouldn’t be a problem,” she drawls, making him wince.

Torque’s last receptionist was a beautiful woman, but she spent more time flirting and trying to get Torque’s attention than working. Not to mention, there was the whole her clearing off his desk and laying on it buck naked and fucking herself with a dildo when he came in fiasco. Unlucky for her, Rose was with him, and she sent that girl packing so fast, her head spun.

Torque scowls at her. “How was I supposed to know she was crazy?” he demands. “I’ll let you and Izzy do the hiring then, since apparently I can’t be trusted.”

“That’s probably the smartest thing you’ve said all day,” Izzy drawls as she makes her way out of the shop, with Titan and Timber right behind her. Izzy is gorgeous and damn smart. She has her long blonde hair up in a top knot, and her blue eyes are framed only by some mascara, but she’s wearing coveralls much the same as the others, and her hands are stained with oil and grease. She’s a mixture of beauty and tough, and Torque is one lucky bastard.

I carefully look her over, not seeing any signs of distress on her face other than some fatigue. You’d never know she only just got out of the hospital and this is her first full day back to work. Still, I’ll be monitoring her, just in case. Medic has already warned us that Izzy isn’t out of the woods yet. She was shot up with two highly addictive drugs, and there is still a good chance that she could slide that slippery slope down into addiction. We won’t let it happen, especially not Torque.

Even now, I can see the guilt in his eyes, as well as the love, as she moves towards him. I know the feeling all too well of not being there quickly enough. Hopefully, he’ll have an easier time getting over it than I did. Though, in Izzy’s case, she’s still breathing, so he won’t have to deal with that guilt for the rest of his life.

Titan is a relatively new member for our club, but before he came here, he was a member of the Golden Skulls MC out in California. Which is exactly why he’s still high on my list of people to watch. From all outward appearances, he’s a loyal brother, but we know the mafia has far-reaching connections all across the country, so it would make sense that he could have come here to help them expand their reach. He’s tall with strawberry blonde hair, dark eyes, and a short cropped beard, and has some experience with MMA fighting. If he is our mole, he’s not going down without a fight.

Timber is our second African-American brother, though where Viper is viewed as dangerous, Timber is the jokester. Though, if you piss him off, he can certainly give Viper a run for his money. He’s tall, but keeps his hair cut military short, and keeps just a hint of scruff on his face to give him a slightly edgier look. He’s not as high on my list of suspects, but he definitely has a smooth way of working and talking with people. It’s probably the Louisiana accent; I’ve seen it work on more than a few people when he wants to get his way. Women especially fawn all over him.

“I’m always smart,” Torque fires back, but I see the twitch of his lips as I’m pulled from my thoughts.

Izzy rolls her eyes. She looks past him to Rose and says, “I’m sure you can handle the interviews, but if you want my input, let me know.”

“You’re going to work with them, so probably a good idea,” Rose muses. “Alright, Torque, get that ad ready to go, have Cryos put it up, and we’ll see who we can come up with for you.”

“As long as it’s not Raven, we’ll be fine,” Torque mutters, but not quiet enough to keep from being heard.

Rose gives him a cool stare, but before she can light into him, I say, “Viper and I were saying we need office help as well. We’re spending way too much time on paperwork instead of acutal work. So I’ll probably have one for Cryos later, too.”

Rose gives me an assessing gaze. “You and Viper should be able to handle hiring someone without thinking with your dicks,” she finally says with a nod.

I snort. “Thanks,” I reply, voice dry. Izzy snickers and the guys all grin at me. “Alright, I’m heading to the clubhouse. I’ll see you later. Rose, you got a ride back?”

“Carson will come to get me,” Rose assures me. “He’s running some errands.”

I nod. “Alright. Izzy, take it easy and listen to your man,” I add over my shoulder with a grin and a wink at her.

She scowls at me as Torque grins. “Screw off, Shadow,” she retorts, but with no heat behind her words.

I make my way out to my bike, hop on, and head for the clubhouse. The drive is normally an easy one, but today, my mind is all over the place. I can’t get Quinn’s face out of my head. Surely fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to taunt me like this? It’s like my past is clawing its way into my present, and I’m powerless to stop it. First, it was Crypt, a forgotten link to my past, and now Quinn, looking like the woman I helped carry to her final resting place.

There has to be a logical explanation to all this. Maybe, somehow, Quinn is related to Sam, which would explain the physical similarities. Or maybe this is purely a coincidence, and Quinn is just Sam’s doppelgänger. Isn’t that what everyone says? That somewhere out there you have a twin.

I can’t help but think back to Veteran’s Day when I went to Sam’s grave, the same as I do every year.

“You and me, Sammy,” I say softly, “we’d have been good together. You’d have called me on my shit, and you would have reminded me of what we were fighting for when I wanted to give up. Hell, you and Rose would be best friends.” I give a husky laugh. “The shit that woman gets into would have you rolling. More because you want to join in.”

I go quiet, listening to the soft wind in the branches above the stone.

“Someday, I’ll replace a woman of my own. She won’t be you, and I don’t want her to be. You were one of a kind, and that’s hard to top. Maybe you can help send her my way? Or at least make sure my head is out of my ass to recognize her. Thought I had a chance with Talon’s woman, but it was pretty easy to see the only one she had eyes for was him.

“I don’t even know what I want. Someone to come home to every day. Someone that’s mine and someone that needs me as much as I need her. Past that, I don’t care what she looks like, sounds like, or what she does for a living. Just someone to help me remember what I fought for. Why I fought so damn hard to get out of that hell-hole when the last thing I should have wanted was to keep on living.

“That shrink always reminds me I need to honor you by living. To live for what you sacrificed for, and I have to agree. It took me a long time to remember that, but now that I have, I’m going to do my damndest to never forget. I’ll do what you always said I should. Find a girl, settle down, and live. It was our dream, remember? Well, you always said you wanted to replace some big-dicked man that could keep up with you,” I chuckle, recalling more than one discussion about it. “That and get a dog. So I’m going to do some of that. Not the big-dicked man part, but I think I’m going to replace a dog And I’m going to start my own family outside of the club.

“Someday I’ll have it all, but I will never forget you, Sammy.” I feel my throat constrict at the words, but I push through. “I promise I won’t forget you. I’ll come back every year and tell you how life is and I’ll remember. Because the shrink is right. If I forget you, if I forget any of our team, I’ll have let those bastards win. So I’m going to go back to the club tonight, I’m going to drink myself silly, and I’m going to remember.”

I step forward and touch the cold stone for just that one moment. Then I whisper, “I’ll be back, Sammy.”

My chest burns at the memory. Sam and I never dated. We had chemistry in spades, and I finally got the balls to ask her out just before everything went FUBAR on that last mission. I never got to replace out what we would have been like together, but now, I think that’s for the best. I lost a teammate, but not the love of my life.

Now, I have to wonder if this is Sam’s way of helping me. Or maybe this is her idea of a joke. Sam always was one for a good prank. Except, I don’t have time for a woman in my life. So even if Sam’s wasting whatever energy on me, it’s in vain. I don’t have time for this sort of distraction.

Still, as I pull into the clubhouse, my mind drifts to the little girl who oh so sweetly “conned” me out of some chips. Macy is a spitfire, and I can already tell she’s going to be a handful for her mama. A smile pulls at my lips as I pull into my spot. I have a soft spot for kids, and that one is something special.

Still, I probably won’t see them again, and that’s for the best. My heart can’t take it. I have half a mind to ask Cryos to look into her, but if Cryos is our mole, I don’t want to give him the name of a woman and her daughter and lead danger to their door. I briefly wonder if Crypt could get the information for me, but then push it away. No, I need to stop thinking about them.

Quinn Holt is not Sam Nolans. Sam is dead and gone, and Quinn is the reminder I need that I can’t have what I want. Even if everything in me screams at me to go back and replace her. To protect her.

She’s not mine, and she never will be.

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