The Lunas Second Chance Mate
Chapter 29

Alyson's

POV

I slept in my own room. I wasn't sure why I'd become so withdrawn and strange with Ryan ever since being kidnapped like I'd regressed, but he also seemed strange to me. I longed to get back to where we were before I was kidnapped, but I also found myself more scared of intimacy and trust again. Ryan didn't say anything, he was too tired to notice maybe. I wanted him to invite me, I had slept in his room the night before when I was taking care of him, but it felt different now that he was better.

I wasn't sure what was wrong with us. Why couldn't we be stable for more than a few days? Telling him that I loved him seemed like another's memory. I even told him that I wanted to be with him forever. But at the first scent of danger, I'd withdrawn to some dark space inside of myself where I wasn't sure I could love, or trust, and I didn't want to be vulnerable.

Dylan, Ryan and I rose early to travel up into the mountains. We would travel as wolves- Ariana was excited inside me, she would get to run and roam.

We shifted, my white wolf form was about three quarters the size of Dylan's brown wolf, and not even half the size of Rupert. As soon as we were in wolf form, Ryan's strength demanded compliance. When he shifted nowadays, it seemed like more of a painful struggle than before.

As Ariana, I felt myself more submissive towards Rupert than in human form, after seeing him kill like he could. His intense wolfish gaze held large piercing yellow eyes that both evoked recognition, and hunger like I could be prey.

We trotted for miles towards the large mountain at the perimeter of Starstream Pack territory. My lungs burned from the constant running, but Ariana's stride was powerful and sure even over the uneven ground. It felt good to allow instincts to take over and turn off my thoughts and focus on the present motion.

We made our way up to a plateau on the mountain at the first peak where the land leveled slightly. I smelt the herb long before we arrive. There were scarcer trees up here, but a full field of the herbs nestled on the side of this mountain, shielded from the north wind.

I shifted back first. Kneeling amongst the herbs. "It's so many!" I exclaimed with delight. It took so little to brew the tea, that this was surely over a year's supply for all of Crowalt Pack. Dylan said, "This is amazing. I've never seen so much."

I looked for Ryan. He stood a few paces from us, still a wolf, his sides rising up and down with his breathing. His dense dark gray fur shifted with the faint breeze; his attention was locked on me.

"Ryan?" I said, a little frightened by him.

Dylan stepped towards me and Ryan snarled till he backed away from me.

"Is he going to shift, or what?" Dylan said.

"I think it's hard for him," I said. Compassion swept through me. I stood up from kneeling amongst the herbs, a few twigs grasped in my fists as if it might provide added strength. I had a strong desire to make him better, to give him my blood. I figured now wasn't the time, but I also feared that I would lose him if he continued to refuse it.

I took a few steps closer to him. His hackles raised but he remained motionless till I was next to him. I ran my fingers through his dense fur, over his back, and right to his ears. I cupped his wolf face in my hands and looked into his eyes. "Ryan? Come back to me, please." I said.

His body stiffened as I touched him, but he did not reject it. I felt the surge of his powers radiating up intoxicatingly through my hand. He was sending me mental images of us together, our naked bodies wrapped around each other. Him thrusting into me. My heart beat fast in my chest.

More images, I saw my face- an image that practically glowed in his mind. I saw they way he saw me, once a turn of my head, and my neck long and graceful as my hair swept over my shoulder. My body with soft skin down my scarless back down to my butt and legs. I was touched by how beautiful he saw me.

In the morning, I'd felt far from him, but he closed the gaps now. I also sensed his wolf was frozen in place so that it wouldn't hurt me, his love was stronger than his desire to rip apart my flesh and feast on the blood that would soothe the curse.

I was amazed by his self-control, in awe of the love we shared like I'd witnessed glimpses of his heart, and drunk from how much power he held. I backed away as the smell of shifting formulated in my nose.

I kept wanting to hold pieces of myself back, but I could not resist him. I never would be able to- mate or not. His wolf eyes stared into my soul, and I knew that he knew exactly how I felt.

He winced, but finally his body contorting and shaking, he shifted back to a man. His back was still a little hunched, his eyes were still like a wolf, but he'd heard me.

I grabbed him, clinging to his massive body, and unsure what came over me. I couldn't even care that Dylan saw, I reached up to his face and pulled it down to me to kiss him.

He gripped around my tiny waist and pulled me into him.

"Ahem," Dylan cleared his throat behind us.

I wanted to go home and have more of him. Letting Ryan go, before we got too caught up in the moment, I blushed and acknowledged Dylan who was staring at his feet, and kicking some pebble on the ground. He was chuckling a little. "You two are very confusing."

I smiled girlishly at him, kind of embarrassed that we'd had an audience. Ryan's elbow was touching mine, and I was feeling a lot more of that connection we'd been missing the last couple days.

With plenty of self-satisfaction, Ryan walked by Dylan, and took a long look at the field, finally processing with his human brain what he saw. "It's a lot, but does it seem like good quality?"

"It smells ok," I said, happy to discuss anything else. "We should test it."

"How?" Dylan said.

He didn't know I was of Clan Clark, but Ryan did. I supposed I could tell him a little. "I'm from Clan Clark, a distant relation, shall we say. I could take the tea, and give some blood to Ryan, and see how my recovery is after, see how it makes him feel." Ryan was already shaking his head. "I don't like it."

"Why not?" I said, plucking another sprig of fresh leaves. "It might help you, and help us. We would know the quality before we begin selling it." Plus, I didn't admit, it gave me an excuse to help him since he was too stubborn to just accept help for the sake of it. "I like keeping control through my mind."

"What if it's not strong enough to hold you forever?" I questioned him.

"Whoa, whoa, hey now," Dylan interjected, "I know that tone, let's not get in another fight."

Ryan glared at him like he was thinking of shredding him to pieces. I stepped between him. "Dylan is right. We need to work better together." I put my hand in his, and he took it, still glowering over my head at Dylan behind me.

"So, I think," Dylan began, "we need to protect this field, and keep it secret if this will work. I will start the trade, and you two will be involved, but it will be more secretive like it's coming from me and not you. I don't have to admit openly to Crowalt where I'm getting the stash."

Ryan nodded, "That does sound like the best course of action, but remember, this herb field is mine. It's on my territory, so all of it is my decision."

Dylan laughed merrily. "Of course! Alpha Ryan, you think I'd challenge you. I'm not too big to admit that you are one brutal wolf, and I'm scared of you. I'm only interested in a mutual benefiting trade relation, and no trouble." Ryan looked at him with the smallest hint of like for the first time. I almost didn't believe my eyes when I saw it.

For good measure, Dylan added, "And I would never do anything to threaten you, all promise, all good intentions." This time his friendly eyes met me, and I wasn't sure exactly what he meant, but Ryan seemed to like this confession. "So will you let me give you a little of my blood, to test this?" I said more softly, pleading in my eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you," Ryan repeated.

"I know, but I'm giving it to you. Please." I could not help it, sometimes when I saw the far off pain in his eyes, I would do anything to make it better even for a minute.

He was shaking his head, "I'm afraid of the effects it's having on me. Like I told you at dinner."

I wondered why he was so afraid to be full Alexander and embrace the powers that could make him great. It wasn't as if I liked that he was an Alexander either, but it still didn't make sense to me.

Finally, with both I and Dylan staring him down with all eagerness, Ryan, who continued to shake his head and grumble, "Fine. I'll take a little, but I don't want to get too reliant.