The Wolves of London Book 2: The House of Striker
Chapter 32

(Chapter song ‘Fade Into You' by Mazzy Star)

AVERY

I wake with a quiet snort and roll back as I look around the room. Zen is cuddled into my chest, and I look out the window. The moon is almost full and shining bright on her porcelain skin. I don’t know what woke me, but it feels like I was being called.

I wrap my outside arm around Zen's shoulder and cuddle her into me.

My eye sits open as I stare at the moon. It’s once a year. I can do this. The question I have is. Is it only once a year? I don’t know enough about shifters to make any sort of definitive conclusion.

I need research.

I turn to the room and look at the door. I turn back to Zen and gently pull the blanket off me. I slip out from under her and step out of bed. I pull on my jeans, pad to the door and quietly dip out.

I’m in a centuries old castle with god knows how much knowledge in a library or computer or something. It should be easy to replace. And I’m not exactly snooping.

In bare feet and no shirt, I jog down the stone steps to the first floor where the offices are. The light from torches flickers on the wall as I walk around the halls testing doors. It really is a maze. There’s more halls and doors then there are people. How do they keep things straight?

I slow my steps when I come to a door that’s open with a light on. I hear papers rustling as I approach the doorway. When I’m able, I start to see who’s making the noise.

The office opens up to my line of sight and inside, Zander sits at a large dark wood desk. There’s a fire in a stone fireplace and he has books around him with a laptop. He flips some pages in a book, reads, then types on his computer.

Could the King of Wolves be my answer?

“Come in, Avery.” He says without looking up.

My mouth shrinks at being called out from the dark. I take a deep breath and stroll into the light. “Um… sorry.”

He drops his page and looks up at me. “It’s fine. I’ve been reading you for the last five minutes.”

I huff a chuckles. “That’s a little rude.” I say as I walk to his desk.

“I don’t like being surprised.” He raises a brow.

I nod then motion to the desk. “What’s all that?”

He sighs then leans back in his chair. “Just trying to replace out what William did and what Miranda was trying to accomplish. Clearly, my fathers DNA speaks for itself, but my concern is, is what she did to my father the failure, or the improvement?”

I stuff my hands in my pockets and kick out a leg. “You think she made Zayden better than what’s in the painting?”

He crosses his arms and nods. “That’s my theory. The numbers don’t lie. She’s found the army, yet lycan and Vampire disappearances have increased globally meaning she’s ramping up her version of Williams experiments. I need to know what for.”

“Maybe since she’s lost the painting, she's going ahead with her own thing.” I suggest.

“Possibly.” He leans on his desk. “Pushing that aside, you want to tell me why you’re scared you'll kill Zen?” He doesn’t even blink when he says that.

I lick my top lip and nod. “The moon… concerns me.”

“I see.” He says as he stands and motions me to the sitting area. He walks around his desk and sits on a couch.

I hold myself and stroke my chin as I start to pace. Scared is an understatement. “No, thanks. I’ll stand.”

“Suit yourself.” He leans back and drapes an arm across the back while crossing his leg. “Care to share.”

I stop. “I may be a shifter, but I never lived it before. I'm the closest thing to turned as a born shifter can get. I know some things, and I’m pretty sure I have a handle on it, but…”

“You still have questions.” He answers and I lift a brow. “No. I didn’t have to read your mind to know that. Ask your questions.”

I slowly pace in front of him. “The moon. How powerful is it? Is it really weak enough to ignore?” I glance at him as I walk by him on the other side of the coffee table between us.

He ticks his head. “It’s hard to ignore. The drive to be there. See it. Be under it. It’s pretty strong to a shifter with a purpose. A shifter with no use for it can ignore it for some time.”

“So as long as his heart’s not in it…” I mumble.

“Precisely.” He confirms.

“Can I ignore it?” I stop in front of him and give him a concerned look.

“Biologically speaking, no. You can’t. Your wolf knows now. It’s too late.” He answers.

“I believe I can live somewhere else during the moon. Once a year isn’t bad. Will that work?” I motion to him.

“It will.” He raises a brow. “Until your wolf’s patience runs out.”

I heave a sigh and lower my head. “I need to not kill Zen. How do I do that?”

“I can’t tell you what to do, Avery.”

I pace back and forth in front of Zander. If I thought I could control my anger, I wouldn’t be concerned, but knowing the potential of my father’s genes and the effects of the moon on normal wolves, I’m not so sure. I need a solution.

I sit on the coffee table across from him. “You did it. How? How did you manage not to freak out.”

He leans back. “I didn’t. I freaked out plenty of times. But Hope is a cosmic being. That’s a lot stronger than a human. But for everyone’s sake, I locked myself in my office for the night and waited it out. It was a fight every year, but you have to realize a Zeta is completely different from an Alpha. We don’t have the luxury of having subtle feelings.”

I lean on my thighs and rub my neck. “I think I can do that, but how long would it last? Can I do this for the rest of Zen’s life?”

He mirrors my image. “I’m going to be honest with you. You might get 5… 10 years. The rest of her life? No. A shifters goal is a Luna. He won’t let you deny him that for 80 years.”

“So, no matter what… Eventually, I’m going to freak out on Zen.” I lower my head as I absorb this.

“I’m sorry.” Zander whispers.

I raise my head and hold my hands in a prayer pose in front of my nose. “And if I get rid of him, I die. I lose him and my 77 years crashes in and my cancer eats me alive.”

He presses his lips together. “If I could offer help, I would.”

“What about the Lazarus pool? Can it do something?” I hold a hand out.

He shakes his head. “It most likely would cure your cancer, but it will also repair your defective lycan gene.”

“Bringing him back.” I blow out a frustrated breath.

“The only thing you can do is decide how you want Esmerelda to live.” He says quietly.

“A life of fear or a life alone.” My throat closes, and I take in a shaky breath.

“I think if you can’t 100 percent trust your wolf, and you don’t want to die, there’s only one choice.” He stares into my eyes.

“Call off the engagement… again.” I whisper and hang my head.

He tilts his head. “I can research this for you. There may be a solution we missed. Don’t lose hope yet.”

I sit up and rub my sweaty palms on my thighs. “Thanks… um… Thanks for making time… to talk.”

He sits up. “I’m not the bad, scary king the rumors say.” He looks around, then leans to me. “Piss off the Queen, though, and it’s off with your head.” He smirks.

We both laugh as we stand. I extend my hand. “I won’t do anything, yet. Just in case.”

“No. Just keep wanting to marry that girl. She needs you.” He shakes my hand then claps my arm.

“I will.” I start for the door.

“Avery.”

I stop and turn.

He slides his hands into his pockets and lifts his chin a bit. “I just wanted to commend you for realizing you needed an expert on the problem you had. It’s takes a lot of guts to ask for proper help. You could have spent all night looking up things on our computers, but you chose to let me advise you, instead.” He looks me over with a slight smile. “I’m not sure if your particular situation ranks you as an Alpha, but you showed some good leadership qualities, right now. I hope, no matter what you choose, you think about that and not allow the circumstances of your life change that.”

The corner of my lip raises. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. See you in the morning.” He says as he walks back to his desk.

“See you.” I wave as I walk out the door and turn down the hallway.

I don’t know if I’m an Alpha or not. I don’t feel like I should be. Even if my father was one. I guess I can accept that I feel the things Alphas do is what I would do, but I don’t think I get to claim that title. It did feel good that the King of Wolves recognized it. For Zen, I’d be anything she needs. If she needs an Alpha, I can be one. If she needs a human man to love and devote his life to her, I can be that, too. But given my conversation just now, it doesn’t look like being human is in the cards.

Deep in thought, I pass another hall and a voice interrupts my mind.

“You have a big problem.”

I stop and look down the darkened hall. My brows come together as Dorian comes out of the black and into the light. He chews on a toothpick as he slides his hands into his pockets. “You want a happily ever after.”

I step closer. “You heard.”

He ticks his head. “A little.” He pushes off the wall, takes the toothpick out, and closes the gap. “Listen. I may have a solution where you can subdue your wolf and keep the girl.”

I cross my arms and study him. “I’m listening.”

“It’s a small process, but there is a way you can siphon your wolf’s healing, aging, and strength. You also wouldn't have to have him in you to take you over once you lose the Blue Moon fight. All it takes is a little soul magic.” He holds the toothpick in his teeth.

“Soul magic. I don’t understand.” I look him over and am not exactly trusting what he’s telling me.

“I’m talking about a trap, mate. A soul trap. You trap the wolf and keep the bond between you. He doesn’t go quackery on the blue moon and you get Zen. Done and done.” He leans back on the wall and looks over his nails. His top hat partially covers his eyes. “It can be done quick enough.”

“You've done this before.” I suggest.

“Only for really good friends.” He shrugs. “It’s not a service I offer publicly, but for you, I'll make an exception. I like Zen. Some people do tend to frown on the act. I prefer to be spared the drama. So, if I do this for you, you best keep it a secret. For the rest of your life.” He raises his eyes to me and I narrow mine slightly. I’m getting an off feeling.

“What happens to the wolf?” I ask.

“Nothing. He’s frozen in time. He wouldn’t even know what happened once he’s freed. It’s like a blip of a dream. But if he’s never freed, he won’t be harmed. I can put him in anything you want. You just have to make sure it stays with you… always.” He talks in a mysterious tone and it feels like there should be a but or something.

“Why? Why can’t I bury it or something?” I look him over and see if I get what he’s telling me straight.

“You’re tethered. You always will be. This isn’t a solve-all solution. This will allow you to not kill Zen when the moments right. Isn’t that your goal?” He motions to Zanders office.

I glance down the hall, then back. I nod when I think of my options.

He steps close. “So you see? I separate you, lock him away in your own private pocket trinket, and you can have a battery charger for every occasion.”

“Like the painting.” I mumble.

“Or a tad smaller. Really, it’s up to you.” He supplies.

He gives me a look like he’s doing a shade deal. I chew my cheek as I stare at him for a second. “I'll sleep on it.”

He smirks. “Right. You do that. But, just know, my generosity isn’t forever. Being free from him… is.” He gives me a wink then saunters up the dark hall. I watch him adjust his top hat and disappear into the shadows.

As I push down the weird vibes from the Immortal, I walk back to the main foyer and up the stairs. I sneak back into our room, take off my pants and crawl back into bed.

Zen has her back to me and I cage her in my arms.

“Where'd you go?” She mumbles.

“Bathroom. Go back to sleep.” I whisper and kiss her cheek.

“Oh…OK…” She says groggily.

I cuddle into her and stare at the moon.

‘…how do you want Esmerelda to live.’

‘Live in fear or live alone.’

‘… my generosity isn’t forever. Being free from him… is.’

I blow out a shaky breath and close my eyes. I inhale Zen’s scent to calm me and try to make this whole thing easy.

I can’t leave her again. Dead or alive.

I just…

What do I do?