Tore Up (Mississippi Smoke Series Book 1)
Tore Up: Chapter 39

Something had changed, and I was afraid to ask. He might change his mind. Bane’s hands were in my hair, shampooing it. He had lathered my body and taken extra care of my feet and scratched leg. I’d been turned on, emotional, and confused, watching him. I was still all of those things, but seeing his biceps bulge and flex as he massaged my head under the rain shower coming from the ceiling, the turned-on part was in the top spot.

I had been struggling with not looking at his penis. It was big. Like coming-out-of-the-top-of-his-boxers big. But his biceps were helping with that.

“Close your eyes and lean your head back,” he told me.

As much as I didn’t want to miss the view, I obeyed. I wasn’t sure there was a woman alive who wouldn’t.

“Conditioner now,” he said.

I’d given up telling him I could do it myself. I had tried that when he started to wash my body, and he’d said no in a commanding tone that shut me up.

“You’re gonna smell like me after this. I’ll move your strawberry-scented stuff in here tomorrow.”

I didn’t mind smelling like him. I wanted to smell like him. Wait. Why was he moving my things to his shower?

I opened my eyes and stared at him. His focus was completely on my hair as he ran his fingers through it, working out any tangles.

“Bane.”

“Yeah?”

“You said you were going to move my stuff in here tomorrow.”

“I am,” he replied.

His gaze dropped to mine. For a man who was so focused on my hair, the heat in his eyes sent tingles zinging through me.

“Do you have a problem with that?” he asked.

“I’m not sure what is happening.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Well, I’m currently conditioning your hair.”

I smiled. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Close your eyes. Head back,” he said instead.

When I did as instructed, he stepped closer, and the water from the handle-held sprayer began to rinse my hair. My breasts brushed against his chest, and I sucked in a shaky breath.

“I’m giving in, Halo.” His voice turned thick. “I fought it, wanting you. You weren’t mine. You were my brother’s. I shouldn’t want you. But I did. I do. And I tried real hard to hate you. It didn’t work. You make it impossible for anyone to hate you, sweet girl. I want to take care of you. I want you in my bed. I just want you.”

He put the sprayer up and then reached to turn off the water. His eyes met mine before he stepped out of the shower and picked up a towel.

Water dripped from my eyelashes as I stood there, trying to blink them away as I stared at him. He wanted me. I wasn’t making this up in my imagination or reading the signals wrong. He had said it. That he wanted me.

He held his hand out to me, and I took it, walking to him. He wrapped the plush, huge towel around my body, then reached to get another one, which he used to dry my hair, squeezing the water from it. I stared at our reflection in the mirror. His beautifully sculpted body behind me. Dark, wet locks of his hair with water droplets fell from them and rolled down his body, making me want to run my hands through it.

His eyes met mine in the mirror as he lowered his head and kissed my temple, never breaking our gaze. “Let me get dried off, and I’ll take care of your cuts.” There was a husky timbre to his voice.

“I think they’re fine,” I told him.

He pressed a kiss to my bare shoulder. “A few need antibiotic cream and bandages.”

Using the towel that he’d dried my hair with, he began to do the same to his, then moved it down his body as I watched, completely transfixed. When he got to his soaked boxers, he pushed them down, and I held my breath as his erection came into view.

He finished drying himself. I didn’t move. He had all my attention. I might have made a sound of protest when he wrapped the towel around his waist.

“I can’t stay focused with you looking at my cock, pretty girl. And your wounds come first.”

He picked me up again, then placed me on the long black marble countertop. His forehead touched mine, and he inhaled, saying nothing, then walked over to open a cabinet, where he took out first aid supplies. He took my scratched leg and placed my ankle on his shoulder while he gently applied cream to the cut, then used a couple of larger Band-Aids to cover it.

“Tell me why you walked off into the woods,” he said, taking my ankle down and covering the deepest wounds with the cream.

He wasn’t going to let this go. I just didn’t want to have to tell him. He wanted me. In my life, the times I had been wanted were brief. Part of me was afraid he’d hear what the women had said and realize they were right. He’d be reminded of who I was. The reason Crosby was dead. Then, I’d lose him, and I hadn’t even truly had him yet.

“Halo.” His tone was firm as he said my name.

I dropped my gaze to my thighs. “I didn’t want to go into the great room because the sex activities had started. So, I was going to go around the side of the house and use the front door. But some other women arrived. I stayed hidden, not wanting to explain what I was doing. And they were talking.” I stopped. If there was a lie I could think of that would make sense, I might have used it. But there wasn’t. Or I couldn’t think of one.

Bane lowered my leg, then picked up my other foot. “And what did they say?” There was a tightness in his tone.

If he wasn’t being so unlike himself right now, I wasn’t sure I could repeat it. But the tender way he was treating me made it easier.

“They were talking about why you were gone. How my being here is a constant reminder of Crosby,” I said. “That you hate me. That I’m a selfish bitch, a hanger-on, and I’m nasty. And that you want to get rid of me, but Than won’t let you because he thinks y’all owe it to Crosby.”

His hand tightened its hold on my foot.

“What did they look like?” His tone was darker.

I lifted my eyes to look at him. His jaw was tight, and his shoulders were rigid.

“I-I don’t know. I didn’t look closely. I was hiding.”

“Did they say anything else?” he asked.

“Just that one of them was your favorite.”

His eyes lifted to meet mine. “Hair color? Anything? Because I have no favorite.”

I shook my head. “I’d heard a car door, then voices. I never tried to see what they looked like.”

He finished with my foot and lowered it. Then closed the space between us and cupped the side of my face with his hand.

“You couldn’t be selfish if you tried. You’re so fucking sweet that I feel guilty for the things I want to do to you,” he said. “And it’s always been me who wanted you here. Even when I thought I hated you, I wanted you here.”

“Okay.” The one word came out like a sigh.

“And I lied just now. Because I do in fact have a favorite, pretty girl. You’ve taken that role.”

His eyes studied my mouth for several seconds, and then he muttered a curse before lowering his lips to mine.

Bane’s body might be solid and hard. His hands might be callous. But the man’s lips were soft as he moved them over mine. His tongue plunged inside the moment I opened for him, and he groaned.

I grabbed on to his shoulders, pressing myself closer to him. My heart was hammering in my chest, and every nerve in my body felt as if it were humming with pleasure. The towel wrapped around me fell away, and a warm, large hand covered a breast, squeezing it. I ran my fingers into his damp hair.

I’d never been kissed like this. It was dizzying.

His lips were gone, and I started to grab him and pull him back when I was lifted off the counter. I wrapped my legs around him, pressing another kiss to his lips as he walked us back into the bedroom. He pulled back and looked at me.

“Those are the sweetest fucking lips,” he said. “But there’s another place I need to taste.”

When he dropped me onto the bed, I bounced once while he went to his knees and took my legs, laying them over his shoulders. Sucking in a breath, I held it as he pressed his mouth against my clit.

“Oh God,” I breathed.

The long swipe of his tongue was followed by another. He began to lick me like he couldn’t get enough. Deep sounds were vibrating in his chest.

“Bane,” I cried out, grabbing the back of his head and lifting my hips.

“Mmm, that’s it,” he murmured. “Fuck my face, sweet girl.”

My head fell back, and I moaned. The pleasure was too much. I felt like I was going to explode. I pulled at his hair, chanting his name. It was there. The spiral was tickling me, and then it grabbed me, tossing me into bliss that had come from Bane Cash’s tongue.

I was still coming down from the best orgasm of my life when Bane moved me to the center of the bed and climbed over me. His towel was gone, and the intimidating erection was right there. That was most likely going to hurt, but I didn’t care. I wanted it.

I lifted my hips. “Please, Bane,” I pleaded.

He hissed as he stared down at my open legs. “Fuck.” A fierce expression came over him, and he looked as if he was battling something.

Was he going to decide that he couldn’t do this?

I stilled, watching him.

His jaw worked back and forth, and then he cursed again, moving off me.

I was going to cry. He had changed his mind.

He jerked open a drawer and pulled out a square silver packet. A condom.

“Oh, thank God,” I breathed, relieved.

He moved back to me as he tore open the packet. “What are you thanking God for, pretty girl?”

I loved when he called me that. “I thought you had changed your mind.”

He shook his head. “No. I just wanted to sink my dick into your hot little cunt bare. Feel you. Shoot my load into you. Have you leaking with me.”

I wanted that now. I trembled with anticipation.

He ran his fingertip down my chest. “But I need to get checked. I’ve got to keep you safe,” he said, then held himself over me as he brushed the head of his penis against me. “Fuck, I want to feel that coating my dick.”

“Yes,” I agreed.

He lowered his hips, sinking into me, stretching me slowly.

“I’ll get checked,” he said. “Then, I’ll keep this needy cunt full of my cum.”

His body was rigid as he pushed into me.

“Jesus, pretty girl,” he groaned. “That’s tight.”

I whimpered as he went deeper and then stilled.

“Am I hurting you?”

“No. Please, I want all of it,” I panted.

His eyes flared with heat, and then he snarled as he pushed into me fully. “FUUUUCK!”

That was a burning stretch, yet I’d never felt anything so wonderful.

“Goddamn,” he swore. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, it feels amazing,” I breathed.

“Ah, baby. Don’t make me snap. I’m holding on by a thread.”

I wanted that. Whatever it meant.

Lifting my hips, I bit my bottom lip and stared up at him.

His eyes darkened, and then he began to slide out. When he slammed back into me, I screamed his name.

“That it? Is that what you’re begging for?”

“Yes!”

With a steady rock of his hips, he thrust into me over and over. Our eyes stayed locked together. His topaz gaze darkened as he looked at me as if I was all that mattered in this world. There was no one or nothing else. His name tore from my lips again as my body shuddered and my orgasm rushed through me.

He drove deeper into me, chasing his own pleasure. His shoulders, arms, and even his neck were flexed. I was sure the sight of Bane Cash like this was the most beautiful thing in the world.

“FUCK!” he shouted, and his body jerked.

I had seen his face when he got off before, but never like this. With his eyes unable to look away from me. All the emotion raging through his expression, melting me with its breathtaking ferocity.

He dropped his head to the curve of my neck, and his deep breaths warmed my skin as his racing heart slowed.

“That was …” he said hoarsely. “I’ve never done that.”

Um, I knew for a fact that he’d had sex before. I laughed softly.

He lifted his head, and those eyes stared down at me again. I wanted to keep him here. On top of me like this. I felt safe, protected, wanted. I hadn’t known anything could feel this way.

The corner of his lips tugged up. “Now, what about that was funny?”

Reaching up, I brushed some of his messy hair from his forehead. “You saying you’d never done that before.”

He frowned. “I haven’t.”

I grinned again.

“Halo, I have never had sex face-to-face. I have never looked into a woman’s eyes while I was buried inside her. I’ve never wanted to. But with you, I couldn’t look at anything else.” His voice trailed off with a raspy tone.

It had been special for him too. That hadn’t all been in my head, my wish for it to be more. He had felt it. Not just me.

He started to pull out of me, and I grabbed his biceps.

“Not yet,” I said. “I like this.”

A deep chuckle came from him, and then he pressed a kiss to my lips.

“Let me just get the condom off, pretty girl. I want to hold you close with my cock bare against your perfect, plump ass.”

Okay, yes. When he put it that way …

I released him. The sexy, warm gleam in his eyes as he moved to his knees soaked into my heart. It pounded a little harder. Stretched a little bigger. Wanting to finally let someone in.