Tore Up (Mississippi Smoke Series Book 1)
Tore Up: Chapter 8

Linc had left shortly after Bane, saying he’d be back with food. I locked the door behind him, then went through the cabin to make sure the windows were all locked.

There was just the one door. The living area and kitchen were connected when you walked inside. It had a fireplace and only enough room for a sofa. There was no table in the kitchen because it was too small for that, but it had two barstools. There was a doorway that led into a bedroom with a double bed and a nightstand. To the right was a curtain that was open, and behind it stood a claw-foot tub, a sink, and a toilet.

I hadn’t even asked whose cabin this was. The overwhelming ache that sat heavy on my chest made everything else in my life unimportant. Crosby was dead. A tear rolled down my face, and I sucked in a breath. It was my fault. Bane had every reason to hate me.

I sat down on the sofa and stared at the empty hearth. I had no idea where I was, why I was here, what was happening. These people, Crosby’s family—they’d just found out my brother had killed him, and they weren’t taking me to the police. Demanding I tell them. Getting Ares pulled out of boot camp and arrested for murder.

I had no one to call. No one to talk to about this. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, but I didn’t deserve to know anything. Because Bane had been right, I didn’t die. Crosby had.

I dropped my head into my hands. Just this morning, I’d thought my situation couldn’t get worse. This was something I had not seen coming.

I’d never expected Ares to do something like this. And he’d been reading my texts? Why?! Why had he cared about what I had been texting to Crosby?

Bane had killed Nicco. Just shot him. Ronnie had held a gun on him, and I guessed I could understand him shooting Ronnie, but Bane killed him, not just injured him. We had walked out of the apartment, leaving their dead bodies there. For who to replace? Would the police replace my fingerprints on something? What happened when they came looking for me and questioned me?

My life had never been stable, but guns and death hadn’t been involved.

My thoughts went to the conversation between Bane and Linc. I trusted Linc, although I had no reason to. I didn’t even know who he was. I thought he was related to Crosby because he’d mentioned family more than once, but how he was related, I didn’t know. He seemed to think my being pregnant would devastate Crosby’s parents and whoever Saylor was. I’d never heard Crosby say that name, and he had never mentioned a sister, but if she was his family, then what else could she be? They would all hate me, and I would understand why. They might even put the blame of the deaths in the apartment on my head when the cops showed up.

I looked around at the cabin. Why was Linc the one that Bane had called? It seemed like he’d have called his dad if he wasn’t going to take me to the police station to tell them about Ares, which was what I had expected him to do. But it had been clear Linc was in charge. Even Bane, who had no problem killing people—me included—had obeyed him. Why was that? This was all so very odd.

I heard booted steps on the porch, and I stood up, staring at the door. The knob turned, but I’d locked it. Then, there was a knock.

“It’s Linc,” his voice called out. “And I brought the doctor.”

I walked over to open the door.

Linc was holding two large paper bags in his hands, which appeared full.

“I also got you some groceries,” he said as I stepped back so he could come inside. “Halo, this is Dr. Burl. He is here to take your blood sample for the paternity test. Bane’s cheek has already been swabbed.”

I watched as Linc began to put the items in the bags away.

“It’s nice to meet you, Halo,” the older gentleman said. He didn’t look like a doctor. He was wearing jeans, cowboy boots, and a short-sleeved plaid button-up shirt. His gray hair was cut short, as was his beard.

“Why did you swab Bane’s cheek?” I asked, glancing back at Linc.

“When the, uh …” The doctor paused for a moment, and I saw sorrow flicker in his gaze. “When the potential father isn’t available to test, then their sibling’s DNA can be tested for relation to the fetus.”

This doctor must be close to them. Was he related to Crosby? He’d seemed to struggle with mentioning Crosby. His death must have been painful for him too.

“I see,” was my response.

The doctor set down his black leather bag on the coffee table. “Do you know how far along you are?”

I shook my head. I knew very little about pregnancy. Babies I knew about. I’d helped with my three youngest siblings. I’d done almost everything for Dennis but nurse him.

“When was the first day of your last period?” he asked me.

I had to focus. I knew it, but I wasn’t thinking very clearly. My thoughts were all over the place. “Um, well … I was supposed to start my period on June 15. Sometimes, I’m a couple of days late, so I didn’t really worry until I was almost a week late.”

I hadn’t told Crosby right away. I’d held on to hope that it would show up.

The doctor nodded and pulled out his phone. “And would you say your normal cycle is twenty-eight days?”

I nodded, then added, “Yes.”

He tapped out something on his phone. “Well then, you’re around fourteen weeks. You are far enough along that you will have plenty of fetal cells circulating in your bloodstream to test Bane’s DNA against it.”

I wished he’d stop saying Bane’s name. This was Crosby’s baby. One he would never see or hold. My eyes began to burn, and I dropped my gaze to the floor.

“Why don’t you have a seat for me on the sofa?” he said. “Linc, could you bring her a glass of juice? She’s pale, and taking her blood isn’t going to help that.”

“Orange or apple, Halo?” Linc asked me.

I didn’t want anything, but I hadn’t eaten all day. “Apple,” I replied, sitting down.

Everything felt as if I were standing off in a corner, watching someone else’s life. It couldn’t be mine.

“How long does it take?” I asked him as he tied a rubber string around my upper arm.

“For you, it will only take a day or so. Two at the most. I have the sources to get this done immediately. Typically, it takes a week or more.”

A day. I’d stay in this cabin for a day, and then they’d all know. What then?

Linc set the apple juice down beside me. “Are you hungry?” he asked.

I shook my head. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be hungry again.

The doctor tapped at my veins with his fingers, then looked up at me. “You will need to eat. The baby has to be fed properly. Have you seen an OB-GYN?”

“I will. I just”—didn’t know how to do that without telling my stepmother—“haven’t yet.”

His eyes shot up from what he had been doing to meet my eyes. “You need to be seen immediately. You should be on prenatal vitamins, and at this point, you should have heard the baby’s heartbeat to make sure”—he glanced at Linc—“the pregnancy is healthy. I brought what we need for that, just in case. After this, we will listen for a heartbeat,” he informed me, then went back to looking for the vein he was going to draw from. When he found one, he took the needle. “It’ll pinch.”

There wasn’t any physical pain he could inflict worse than what I was dealing with internally.

He was done quickly. He put a bandage on my arm, then patted my hand. “Drink the juice. Don’t stand up for a bit, okay?”

I nodded and picked up the glass. The cold sweetness wet my dry mouth and throat, but there was no enjoyment in it. I wasn’t sure I would feel any form of enjoyment again. The blame of Crosby’s death would haunt me. I’d carry that with me for the rest of my life.

Linc spoke with Dr. Burl for a few moments, but I didn’t pay much attention. I stared at the empty hearth again, sipping the juice. Wishing that I could be numb to everything. Give up carrying or feeling. It would be so much easier.

“If you will, lie back for me,” the doctor said, holding a blanket in his hand. “I need you to pull your shorts down to below your stomach, and you can cover your bottom half with this.”

I took the blanket, then lay down and unbuttoned my shorts, which had only started to get snug this past week, before doing as he’d instructed.

Dr. Hurl held a tube in his hand. “This is going to be a little cold. I’m sorry about that.”

“That’s fine,” I replied, feeling the anxiety start to mount at the thought that something could be wrong.

I hadn’t been taking vitamins. I’d not seen a doctor like I was supposed to. I should have gotten Medicaid. I’d failed my baby.

I watched, holding my breath as Dr. Hurl put the cold gel on my stomach, then began moving what looked like a stethoscope over my stomach. There was relief on his face, and I almost burst into tears before he could say anything.

“It’s strong.” He paused. “One hundred fifty-two beats a minute. Excellent.” Then, he took the ends from his ears and held them to me. “Do you want to listen?”

I nodded, unable to say anything.

He placed the earpieces in my ears, then moved the part on my stomach a little. A fast thumping sound came in loud, and I gasped as tears stung my eyes. That was my baby.

“There,” I told him as I stared at him in awe. “I can hear it.”

His smile was kind, and that just made me want to cry harder. Crosby would never hear this. The moment of happiness faded quickly as I took them from my ears and handed it back to him.

“You will need to see an OB-GYN very soon,” he told me. “I can suggest some for you if needed.”

“Thank you,” I replied, my voice sounding raspy.

He handed me a damp cloth to clean my stomach, and both men walked over to the door, talking quietly, while I cleaned myself, then fastened my shorts and sat back up.

The door closed, and then Linc walked into my line of sight.

“How sure are you that this baby is Crosby’s?” he asked me.

One hundred percent. Although I understood they wouldn’t just believe my word. They needed proof.

“He was the first and only guy I ever slept with.”

His lips formed a tight line. “I see.” Those two words sounded as heavy as my chest felt. Then, he sighed. “Well then, you need to prepare for what is to come once we have the results back from the paternity test. This isn’t something that Crosby’s parents will be happy about. As for Bane, I don’t know yet. Right now, he’s convinced himself that it’s not his brother’s baby. But when he has the proof that it is, that will change his attitude. Not completely. Bane is normally an ass, but when it comes to your welfare, he will want his niece or nephew to be taken care of. He and Crosby were close.

“Just get some rest. Eat because you and the baby need it. The phone on the counter works. My number is on the pad beside it. Call me if you need anything. And, Halo? Don’t leave. There is security everywhere. If you walk out that door, I will know. There are cameras on this cabin. Which should also give you some reassurance that Bane won’t come here when you’re alone.”

I said nothing, although I had several questions about all he had just said. I’d wait until they all knew I was telling the truth about the baby being Crosby’s. Then, I’d ask them. Today, my head wasn’t clear enough to think about it all. I just wanted to be left in peace.

“Regardless of Bane’s response to this, I will make sure you are taken care of. I believe you were important to Crosby. And just so you know, he was leaving to come see you that night, like he’d promised.”

A wave of sorrow hit me again, and a sob came from deep in my chest as I covered my mouth.

Linc walked over and laid a hand on my shoulder. “I didn’t mean to upset you, but he’d have wanted you to know he wasn’t planning on leaving you alone with this.”

I nodded as I dropped my head into my hands. It should help to know that Crosby hadn’t left me, but the agony that came with knowing he had been killed while coming to see me wrecked my soul.