13/13/13
Chapter 13

Alax and Sky had walked down several miles of open road before replaceing a burnt-out diner. They rummaged it for supplies, and found a semi-working car.

“Do I even want to know how you got better at hot-wiring a car than me?” Alax asked his wife, concerned.

“I’d rather not say.” She admitted uncomfortably. Alax stared at her for a second before shaking his head. “Whatever, we’re burning daylight. Let’s just get out of-”

He stopped mid-sentence to groan at the sight of a Templar in the parking lot. “I knew it was too good to be true.” Said Alax with a sigh.

The Oizys Templar named Thāruṇ, held his hands up passively. “Relax mister Cristos. I’m not here to hurt you, merely to punish a fool.”

(Oizys was the Greek physically-bound deity of suffering...need I say more?)

He tapped his wrist-com and brought up an image of a bruised, bloodied and shackled Alix.

Alax and Sky looked at this startled, neither knew what to think.

“Last chance to clear your conscience.” Stated Thāruṇ. “Please, don’t do this. You’ve nothing to gain.” Moaned Alix.

Thāruṇ snarled. “You wasted my time! Time I could’ve been using to help my comrades in this world-gone-mad! Now either tell him, or I show him the recording!”

(To clear things up, The Templars have the means to know if a person is hiding a secret, and some vague things connected to it, but that's it. They can't immediately figure anything else out. That's the Oizys' job, or rather, the reason that justifies their job. So they knew Alix had a secret, and it was connected to his dad, thus they assumed it had to do with his location, rather than this tangled mess.)

“Okay! Okay! Fine!” Alix turns to look at Alax. “Alax. It... it was me, alright? I nearly got Tyrone killed!”

Alax looked at him confused. “What are you- I already know thi-”

“No, you don’t.” Interrupted Alix. “Me and Dad... we sent the letters with info about all things supernatural, but the letters that told about FINDING the ghosts, that was all me. Dad didn’t know- But I swear, Alax, I checked out that hospital myself before I sent him there! There was a low level ghost! Just like the others! I swear! The skinwalker must’ve moved in after I checked!”

Alax said nothing as he tried to process this. Of the three of them, Alix had been the obedient, never questioning, ‘I want to be just like dad’ son. For him to do ANYTHING without dad’s permission was unthinkable, and yet he’d apparently done it and it nearly gotten his nephew killed.

“But dad... why did he say-

“He covered for me! He didn’t want you to hate me... more than you already do.”

Alax glared. “What were you thinking!? He could’ve died!”

“I JUST WANTED MY FAMILY BACK TOGETHER!” Screamed Alix desperately. “We were happy, and then you abandoned us to be ‘normal’, which inspired Alex to split with us and go solo shortly afterward! Everything fell apart! I just- I just thought that if I could bring Tyrone back into the fold, maybe you’d come back too?”

Alax just glared. For a while, he said nothing. Then, he turns to Thāruṇ. “I think we’re done here.” He says flatly, refusing to acknowledge Alix’s presence.

“Wait, brother. Please-” But Thāruṇ had already shut off the screen.

“Since, as it turns out, he had nothing of value to us, he will be released. I think we all know the answer already, but protocol demands that I ask you- his next of kin -if you have a preference for where we take him-

“As long as he’s as far away from me as possible. I don’t care.” He says darkly.

Thāruṇ nodded. “I’ll inform my superiors at once. Have a nice day Mr. Cristos.” He said in an eerily pleasant manner. And with that, the hologram of Thāruṇ vanished back into a nearby, invisible, hovering probe which then silently imploded without a trace.

Sky gave her husband a comforting hug. “What was the point of all that?” She asked irritably. “My guess? They’re desperate for leads, and hoping this would get me running to replace Dad. To ‘learn the truth’ or some other cliché garbage like that.” Said an annoyed Alax. He’d be lying if a small part of him wasn’t tempted to do just that, but replaceing his son came first.

Sky just shook her head. “I just don’t understand it... Why suspect your family at all? How would you be able to bring back the magic?” She asked confused.

Alax sighed as they got into the car. “There’s an old legend... I’ll explain it on the way over, but bottom line, only my family- my bloodline- would be able to bring it back.”

(Right, we're sort of racing to the end of the book here. Bottom line: Alexander the Great was the one who originally got rid of the 13th month, which unintentionally bound the last means of bringing back the magic to the fate of his family, as well as killed him. Assuming I don't go bankrupt -ah who am I kidding, this story is as dead as a door nail. An extended cut of their explanation -might- be in the sequel.)

After making out for a while, the two kids went back to laying at each other’s sides while gazing at the stars.

“So, what does that make us?” Asked Tyrone, finally.

Red shrugged, “In the amount of time we have left to live, we can be whatever we want I guess.”

Tyrone smiles. “For what it’s worth, if we’re going down, I’m glad you’re going with me.”

Red looks at him incredulously. “Excuse me?”

Tyrone groaned and slapped his forehead. “Yeah... that sounded better in my head... somehow.”

Red laughed as she playfully shoved him. “Never change Tyrone... never change.”

Suddenly, the doors cracked open again, and in came the monocled man. “Alright, as much as I’d like to give you more time to rest, we really do need to move this along.

Both kids sighed as they got up. “Alright, what’s next? Gargling with sulfuric acid? Ripping out our spines? Freezing and shattering our eyeballs? Let’s get it over with.”

Red got down on bended knees as she embraced Tyrone and kissed him again. Then, they just stood there, waiting for it all to end.

The monocled man chuckled. “Guys relax, we’re done. It’s over.”

Both of them looked to him skeptical. ” Just like that?”

The guy gave a ‘sorta’ gesture with his hand. “Weeelll, technically the tutorial isn’t over, but after that wonderful bit of drama you just had, anything else after that would just feel tacked-on, really.”

“What the blood are you talking about?” Asked an exasperated Red.

“Bottom line, I have a few more ‘mechanics’ to help you understand, but a lot of it we can save as a sequel hook. A couple we can still do, but it’s on the non-lethal, straightforward, boring setting. Just let me show them to you and I’ll let you leave.”

“And were supposed to just trust you?” Asked Tyrone irritated.

“I certainly hope you wouldn’t! Not after how hard I’ve been trying to teach you to be conservative of your trust!”

“Conservative of our... okay, you know what? You’re clearly insane, either free us or let us die! Just- just get it over with!” Exclaimed Red, sick of the mind games.

The monocled man shook his head as he took off his monocle to shine it. It was then that the kids realized that there was one part of his face that wasn’t scrambling their perception...his eyes. The one that was usually covered by the monocle was now shining like the sun. The other was pupil-less and milky white, like the moon.

Once he plucked the monocle back on he turned his attention back to his ‘captives’. Yes I used apostrophes around the word captives...deal with it...

“Look, I lied in order to teach you not to be so quick to trust people. You’re going to go through a lot of terrible things in the coming days, and it was important for you to learn that. But if it makes you feel better, I won’t lie to you from this point on.”

“So what, we can trust you now?” Asked Tyrone sarcastically.

“Oh, good heavens no! With the right know-how, a person who tells nothing but truths can be just as deceptive as a person who tells nothing but lies.”

“Wait, how is that better, then?” Exclaims Red.

“It really isn’t- but this conversation has already dragged on too long! Necessary weasels aside, you got two choices now: stay up here as long as you want- the building won’t collapse anymore, so no rush- or come with me and leave here very soon.”

And with that, he walks back out the door, followed by two very reluctant, yet resigned, adolescents.

The town of Nixa

The town of Nixa has a long, vibrant- BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! Who cares? let’s get back to the reason were all here

“So, why are you sure that the Templars won’t be able to get to us here?” Asked Sky.

Alax looked at her confused. “Uh, sweetie? I already explained this to you on the way over.”

“Wha- Oh, so you did. Never mind.” Admitted Sky apologetic, as they parked their car deep in Nixa’s woods. They quickly got out and Alax felt around the nearby trees.

“Right, it’s been awhile, but it should be around here somewhere...” He said out loud. Finally, he found it: the knothole shaped like a handprint.

He put his hand over it and silently prayed that his dad hadn’t erased his essence from the ruin-work.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the tree opened up, then cursed as he saw a barrier appear in front of him.

Dang it! I thought dad got rid of this security measure! Alax thought, annoyed, as words began to appear on the barrier:

You will always replace me in the past. I can be created in the present, But the future can never taint me. What am I?

(Anyone want to take a guess at the riddle. Give up? The answer is 'History.')

Alax shook his head as he whispered the answer into the barrier, causing it to fall. Without further ado, they walked inside and into the library of Alexandria.

(The library that was destroyed long ago was actually a dummy, one that was painstakingly enchanted to replace the real one in time of crisis.)

Inside the library were wall-to-wall books as far as the eye could see. The knowledge of the ancient world all under one roof: bestiary’s of imaginary creatures, Atlas’s depicting invisible lands, star charts that show constellations that don’t exist yet, tomes written in languages erased from history, and ancient instructional pamphlets that make the Kama sutra look like a Sunday school. This place had it all, and more-

TWANG!

INCLUDING PEOPLE TRYING TO KILL YOU! Alax quickly pushed Sky out of the way as the crossbow bolt deflected harmlessly off him.

The person holding the crossbow chuckled. “You’ve gotten slow, bro. I remember when you could’ve snatched that arrow out of thin air.” Said Alex playfully.

The man brought them to a weird, mechanized door that seemed to be held shut by gears and other contraptions.

“Right, so I was going to have you figure out more ways to use and abuse Tyrone’s invincibility, but now that I think about it, a lot of these can just as easily be taught later.”

He snapped his fingers and several of the mechanisms on the door crumbled to dust.

“Actually, now that I think about it, you might not even need a lot of this. Eh, I guess we’ll just play it by ear, and see what happens.”

Said the man as he, once more, snapped his fingers, causing most of the remaining mechanisms to crumble to dust. All accept a couple of the gears.

“Right, originally I was going to have Tyrone do this, but-

He snapped his fingers a third time and suddenly, a ghostly apparition of Tyrone, rises from the dirt and jumps into the gears-

BOOM!

The gears shattered and the door flew open!

“Just to be clear, most gears probably won’t explode in real life. But you get the idea.”

Admitted the man, as he walked forward into the next room. Somehow even more reluctantly, the kids followed closely behind.

Both Tyrone and Red looked upon the large room filled with dozens of walls, forming a labyrinth most sinister, which immediately retracted back down into the ground after the man snapped his fingers.

He turned back to the two kids he’d been torturing all night.

“Right so I had this idea of you sneaking past all those robot guards and maybe introducing a ‘bribe’ system to the story. But I think we can just throw all that on the cutting room floor and just condense it into one final test.”

The two adolescents just looked at the clearly insane man, as he snapped his fingers and teleported them to the final door where they saw one final robot guarding it.

“Right, pretty straight forward. Tyrone, simply bribe this guard with half a tasty treat and he’ll open the gate for you and that’s it, you’re both free.”

Sure enough, an oven and baking supplies were suddenly next to Tyrone. Tyrone just shrugged and complied.

“What, no ‘manly’ denial of being able to do a traditionally feminine skill?” Teased the monocled man playfully.

Tyrone said nothing as he walked over to the oven and flipped him the bird.

The monocled man laughed. “Real mature. I’m impressed.” He noted sincerely.

“Hey, Tyrone? As long as were throwing rationality to the wind, could you make me something too?” Asked a flustered Red as her stomach rumbled loudly.

Despite the situation, Tyrone couldn’t help but crack a smile. “You even have to ask?”

Tyrone quickly went to work. Red stared baffled. “Uh, Tyrone? How-

SPLUB!

“Have some chocolate my dear, you must be famished.” Interrupted the monocled man as he forcibly shoved one of the most delicious chocolates in the universe into her mouth. Red was too hungry and tried to be mad, but mostly because the chocolate was that good!

(The chocolate ranked #47 best chocolate in the cosmos be exact. He'd have gone higher, but figured the kids had enough troubles at the moment without getting stoned -with flavor pellets- which would have filled their body have filled their body with joy, even as the sheer pleasure caused their bodies to spontaneously combust.)

In almost no time at all, Tyrone had it ready. He gave Red’s favorite cupcake to her, then had to help her eat it, and gave a special one to the guard.

The guard ate one half, gave a holler of appreciation, opened the final gate, and greedily gobbled up the second half.

BOOM!

-And then exploded, showering the two stunned kids with blood, entrails, and gore.

“Right, you’re free to go.” Said the monocled man.

“Wha- wait, what was all that?!” Shouted Red horrified. “Wha- Oh, that? Yeah, the gate was hooked to a bomb in the guy’s chest-

“Why didn’t you tell us!? And you said he was a robot!”

The monocled man wagged his finger. “First of all, you didn’t ask. Secondly, I never said he was a robot, I only ever referred to him as a GUARD.” He said in a way not too dissimilar from how a teacher chastises some students who weren’t listening in class. He then taps his ear. “You really need to learn to listen more.”

Tyrone wasn’t really listening; he was too busy looking at the mutilated remains of the man who’d been dressed as a robot.

“Did... did I just kill a-

“Nope!” Interrupted the man. “Although being able to kill someone WILL be a skill you’ll need to learn before your ‘final exam’, you did not kill him. He killed himself. He KNEW about the bomb you see.”

Tyrone gaped at him. “Wait, what!?” He shouted in disbelief. “Why would he- WHY?! Just, why?”

“Your cupcake of course.” Said the man as if it were obvious. “You made a cupcake so great; he was willing to die to get more... Which I’m pretty sure immediately qualifies you as a master chef.” He said that last part thoughtfully.

Tyrone just looked at him in disbelief. “Wha- what are you-

“Whoa, okay this conversation is already taking way too long.” Interrupted the man as he flicked open his pocket watch. “If we don’t race this to the end soon, the readers will get bored.”

“Readers?” Asked a confused Red.

SMASH!

Both Red and Tyrone looked behind to see some weird guys smashing the 4th wall... of the building.

“Oh, where are my manners? Allow me to introduce the Reader brothers. They’re a very nice family I pay to break down specific walls of buildings.”

Red slowly inched away from the clearly mentally disturbed man. “Riiight... we’re going to leave now.”

“Wha- But Red, he still hasn’t explained-”

But Red was having none of that! She scooped him up like luggage under her arm and ran out of the room, but not before the man slapped a pamphlet into Tyrone’s hand.

“A summary of what just happened can be found in there!” Shouted the man after them. He then turned to the readers.

“I apologize for the inconvenience, but I hope you’ll settle for an explanation via eccentric footnote?”

(There is no SPOON, or flower, or any cooking material. Just an oven and a powerful illusion that made Tyrone THINK that all of the above were before him- which is what made Red confused when she saw Tyrone create desserts out of thin air like magic- because that's what it is. For that is Tyrone's magical gift: to make whatever dessert he needs at that very moment. Bottom line, he is a mage like the rest of his father's family.)

(Dang there's no way to avoid this explanation, is there?...(sigh)...so much for my 'me time'...anyway...All magic users inherently have one magic skill. Some are as amazing as flying, while others are as useless as 'heart'. It can be as vague as 'power over fire' to as specific as 'the power to replaceing my car keys wherever they are'. All magic users can only have the one skill- Tyrone's family are one of the few known exceptions of the rule. Also, there can't be more of the one magical skill at any given time... As far as we know. Okay, this rule is much more ironclad. A magic user CAN use other forms of magic aside from his skill, but they require potions, amulets, charms, and other artificial foci for magic. For this, they must go to an enchanter, alchemist, or a scientist. Enchanters and alchemists- the only real difference is gender- are magic users who have willingly sacrificed their magic skill to gain the ability to create artificial magic foci. As for the scientist, they're usually just nuts.)

“Okay.” said the Readers as they broke down yet another wall.

Both Tyrone and Red exclaimed an excited holler of victory as they finally exited the cursed building just as it crumbled to dust behind them. They then turned around, expecting to see the lovely Big Apple skyline-

“HOW THE BLOOD DID WE GET TO L.A.!?!” Shouted Red as they gazed in disbelief at the wrecked remains of the Hollywood sign in the distance.

“I’m more concerned about what happened TO L.A.” Stated Tyrone, as he watched half of the ‘city of Angels’ go up in flames.

Red couldn’t help but laugh. “Terrific, just terrific! Like it wasn’t bad enough that we had no clothes or money, or just went through a nightmare factory, but now, we’re on the wrong side of the country!?”

“Fear not! Your hard work shall now be rewarded!” Shouted a now all-too-familiar voice.

Red and Tyrone quickly run-

POOF!

“Wait! No! This is good! I brought gifts!” Shouted the man as he appeared before them. The kids just continued to run the other direction. The monocled man sighed as he kept teleporting back and forth until the kids got tired and had to rest.

“Look, just choose between the two gifts and I’ll leave you alone!”

Both Red and Tyrone looked at him warily. “What’s the catch?” Asked Red.

The man smirked. “Glad you asked, good to see you’re learning. Now, originally, this was supposed to be a ‘sadistic choice’, but you’ve suffered enough, so now I made this a more downplayed comical version of that.”

“Look, if you’re going to frack us over, can you at least make sense!?” Demanded Red in exasperated impatience.

“Bottom line, you have a choice of either new sets of decent clothes for each of you, but nothing else. Or these niffty little ‘power up’s’, but you have to wear these flimsy things that barely count as ‘clothes’ at all.”

“What kind of power ups?” Asked an interested Tyrone, before Red could scream at the man.

“Red would get magic metal hands, and you would get a backpack/‘bag of holding’ that is filled with, though limited in, miscellaneous knick-knacks. You’ll also receive this not-so-lovely ensemble of a leopard skin loincloth and matching leopard skin bikini.”

“What is wrong with you?” Asked Red.

The man laughed and retorted “I don’t think you have the time for me to answer that question. It is quite a long list.”

Before Red could angrily shout back, Tyrone quickly pulled her down and whispered into her ear. Desperately trying to keep from smiling, Red stood back up.

“We’ll take the power up’s.” Stated Red. Without a word, the monocled man gave them the gifts, tipped his hat in goodbye, and vanished.

Red clicked her on new hands, and was amazed at how life-like they were! She could even feel with them! If it weren’t for their metal sheen, she could almost mistake them for her old hands! In a fit of whimsey, she reached to a nearby rock and gasped in amazement as she crushed it to dust.

Tyrone was also amazed. He rummaged through the backpack and found the entire contents of his room in there. He also found a seemingly endless number of unmarked, differently colored vials.

Not wanting to stay out in the open any longer than needed, they donned their new ‘clothes’- for lack of a better word- and like that, they were off to replace shelter- and new clothes!

“Look!” Shouted Red. Tyrone smiled. His plan worked! They had found a clothing store already! This just got better and better!

....

“Are you kidding me!?!” Shouted a frustrated Red, as the fourth set of clothes she’d put on crumbled to dust.

It was then that Tyrone found a note pinned to the underside of his loincloth.

Really need to work on those listening skills, my child.

Remember, I said you ‘HAVE to wear these flimsy things.’

As in, you HAVE to wear them... FOREVER.

But don’t worry, I made sure that the ‘exposed to the elements’ tropes wouldn’t be in affect here.

You could go to Antartica, or the middle of room filled with glass with no problems

That is, as long as they don’t get torn off during combat, or you lose them.

They’ll eventually regenerate and return to your body, but until then, you’d be vulnerable(well, more Red than Tyrone anyway) so watch out.

Again, sorry about all this. But Fanservice sells!

“...Right, I’m officially giving up on figuring out what this whack job means.” Stated Red lethargically, the events of the last couple of days still dragging her down.

“I’m too tired... just too tired.” He pulled out his bed from his new backpack, and without a word they both crawled into it. For a while they just made themselves comfortable, and didn’t say a word.

“Okay, just to eliminate all ambiguity... are we a couple now?” Asked Tyrone simply, yet anxiously.

Red groaned. ”Can’t this talk wait until morning?” Thought an exhausted Red to herself, but she bit the bullet anyway, knowing she might as well get this over with.

Red took a deep breath and turned to the boy- No, MAN. Who she’d come to love so dearly and said, “Tyrone, I’m not sure we should do this.”

“What...? But I thought we both admitted we loved each other?” Asked Tyrone confused. In every story he’d read, that was always the main- usually only- hurdle before a relationship could start.

Red groaned. “I know, and I DID mean that... but SHOULD we love each other?” She asked thoughtfully.

“What do you mean?” Asked Tyrone. Red gestured between the two of them. “Tyrone, whether we like it or not, there IS an age gap between us. That’s not something we can just ignore. It’s a social taboo for a reason.”

Tyrone looked at her in disbelief. “But... Red... we literally survived a hell on earth... Surely, if we can get through that-”

“Tyrone, the whole ‘star crossed lovers’ thing... It’s a nice story, but this is real life, and in real life… it just sucks alright?” She said finally.

“What do you mean?” Asked Tyrone, trying, and failing, not to sound hurt.

Red groaned. She didn’t want to tell anyone this, but she owed him an explanation.

“Well, okay... Have you ever wondered where my mom went?”

Tyrone frowned as he thought. “I... wow, it honestly never occurred to me... You never talk about-”

I HATE MY LIFE!

-I never talk about her, yes.” Interrupted Red simply, she could feel tears already welling up as the memories started to come back.

WHY SHOULD I SACRIFICE MY HAPPINESS BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO STUPID TO USE PROTECTION!?!

“Look, my parents were high school sweethearts. They married as quickly as they could, thought that true love would help the ‘conquer all’... But their relationship... Look, it fell apart the first time they had a problem.

I DESTROYED MY BODY FOR YOU!

...when they had me!” Shouted Red finally as she sobbed again.

Tyrone said nothing. What could he say? “I’m sorry.” He said, finally, as he gave her a hug.

Red sniffled. “Thank you Tyrone. Look, I’m sorry about this. I just... I don’t think I can give you a relationship right now.”

Tyrone nodded. “Okay... do you want- ” Tyrone took a deep breath, and concentrated on saying the next sentence that he really hated “-just to be friend?”

Red sighed. “I want to say yes, but... I just don’t know. I don’t know what to tell you. I just need time.”

Tyrone squeezed her harder, reassuringly. “That’s okay. I think I get it. All I want is for you to be happy.”

Red groaned. “There you go being so mature and caring again! Dang it, Tyrone! Why couldn’t you have been 2 or 3 years older?” She shouted, genuinely aggravated.

Tyrone sighed. “I’ve asked myself the same thing, every day since I’ve meet you.” He admitted.

With nothing left to say, they cuddled back together for warmth, and laid on the bed together in silence.

“Hey Tyrone?” Asked Red, breaking the silence once again.

“Yeah?”

“That day at the waterpark, were you wearing trunks with bigfoot on it?”

Tyrones eyes went wide. “How did you-”

He trailed off when he saw the sheepish grin on her face.

“YOU!?” He exclaimed in disbelief.

“Before you get mad, I was aiming for a sleazy perv! I got a different pair of trunks by accident when the wave machine threw me off! Also, it was a bad day for me too.” Explained Red quickly.

“See, I got the STUPID idea of copying my favorite Anime... I’d swiped hundreds of bathing suits, before reality hit hard.”

Red flustered at the memory. “I got yelled at, had to pay fines, got banned for life and-”

“-Your one piece red swimsuit got ripped off on the gate when they kicked you out, and you had to go home naked when the jerks wouldn’t let you back in.” Finished Tyrone with a smile.

Red’s eyes went wide. “How did you- ”

“I was hiding from the taunting girls behind the garbage can, when I saw it happen. It was the first time I saw you... I had always felt guilty that I stared at you for so long... Until now that is.” He admitted with a smirk. “So, this is what laser-guided karma is like... I like it.”

Red laughed. “You’re such a perv!” She teased as she hit him with a pillow.

“Says the girl who steals bathing suits!” Snaps back Tyrone good-naturedly, as he hit back with a pillow, which Red retaliated in kind. And thus a day of intrigue, magic, murder, suicide, assault, and heartbreak ended- with a pillow fight, of all things.

“Well, if ever there was a good spot to end a story-”

“Hey Mr., who you talking to?” Interrupted a five year old boy as he walked by. The Monocled man smiled.

“Oh, I’m just narrating a story to some god-like beings, in order to convince them to give the creator of our universe the support he needs to create more.”

The boy’s mother was quick to hurry her son away from the clearly unstable man, before he could ask more questions.

The monocled man simply chuckled as he downed a goblet of wine.

“What a way- What a way, to end the day.” He couldn’t help but quip, and then waited a few seconds, then waited longer, then looked up, annoyed.

“Oh for the love of- That was your cue to end the story you perverted, cowardly bum!” He shouted at the heavens. He then smiled as the whole world began to fade out.

“Thank y-