A Gift from the Goddess
Chapter 54

Chapter Fifty—Four

"Kiss me,” I said.

“..What...?"

After leaving home, I'd headed straight to where I knew they would be. Somewhere I knew that Idefinitely shouldn't be.

But there was no hesitation as I'd confidently walked up and knocked on their door. And when Caihad answered, I'd ignored his confusion and demanded the one thing I knew could make me feelbetter.

Because if it felt anywhere near as good as the first time, then maybe it would be enough to makeme forget for a moment that everything was falling to pieces around me.

"Kiss me,” I repeated.

His eyes were wide, stunned at my request, but he wasn’t moving. I could see he was still in thesame attire he'd been in earlier; the formal clothes making his body somehow look even morefitted.

I quietly sighed impatiently whilst his head tried to comprehend exactly what was happening.“Aria-."

However, I didn't wait for him to finish his sentence. It wasn’t words I wanted right now... it was himI walked up and pulled on the collar of his shirt until his face was within reach of my own.

“Please, Cai..." I whispered, as I looked up slowly from his lips to his eyes.

He was so close now that it caused a shiver of anticipation to run through my body. I needed this, Ineeded him, and I could see in his eyes that he wanted me too. The tension between us wasbecoming so intense that it felt tangible. 1

The cold night breeze swept around us and it only made the warmth coming from him even moreinviting. I loosened the hand I had hooked onto his shirt and ran it all the way along his chest,feeling him under my touch, until it rested on his broad shoulder. I wanted him closer, his body stillfeeling too far away.

My heart jumped a little when I saw him finally lean in closer and place his hand on the side of myhead, his thumb resting against my cheek tenderly. And instinctively, I closed my eyes as I movedtowards him, preparing myself for what would happen next.

But instead of feeling him against my lips, I felt him shift away... and kiss my cheek instead.

“No,” he said quietly. “Not like this.”

I snapped my eyes open to look at him.

“No... no, please, I need this,” I said and grabbed onto him tighter. “Please, Cai... I want you.”

He closed his eyes and looked pained, almost as if he was internally having a battle within himself."Aria~"

“No, you said you wanted me,” I said, my voice becoming more frantic. “Why are you doing thisnow?"

“Because I honestly don't know if it's me you want right now, or if it's just you replaceing an outlet foryour grief.”

I could feel as my cheeks began to burn in humiliation, my eyes tearing up, and instantly I droppedmy

side as if he'd just stung me. His words left me embarrassed and hurt over his rejection, and... angry.Angry that everyone was choosing to disappoint me today of all days.

Chaptei Hity Out

"Don’t give me that crap... I'm sick of hearing people saying that to me today. I'm fine! This isntabout Myta.”

“Aria,” he said sternly. “You couldn't even stand to look at me today and yet somehow you're now onmy doorstep begging for me. Excuse me if I'm a little sceptical of the sincerity here.”

"Why do you even care? This is what you wanted, right? You just wanted to sleep with me?” Iargued.” Well, here I am, Cai!”

I tried to grab at his hands but he took a step away, creating a small distance between us. I couldn'thelp but flinch at his movement to get away from me.

“I said I wanted you, Aria. You as a whole. Not... whoever the hell this is right now. And I honestlythink that maybe, deep down, you do actually want me too... but the way you're acting right nowjust tells me that you're in too much pain to think clearly.”

I gritted my teeth. “There's nothing wrong with me...” I whispered.

“The fact you can't even see it is part of the issue here.”

He sighed, calming himself down.

“Look,” he said. “I promise I'll be there for you, even if that's just as a friend. But I have more self—respect than to sit back and let you use me because of the feelings I have for you. Because I dowant you... and I honestly want nothing more than for you to tell me right now that I'm wrongabout all of this. But from what I can see, you need help, Aria, and I'm happy to oblige... but not likethat. Not if it's just temporary to help you deal with what's happened.”

I was silent. I wanted to speak, to tell him he was wrong, but I couldn't replace the words.

“Aria?” he pressed. “Tell me that I'm wrong and it's me you actually want. Or tell me that you wantmy help, and I'll help you.”

I could feel my heart racing as I tried to think... but ultimately shook my head. This wasn't the sort ofon the spot decision I had expected to deal with when coming here. I wasn't ready for that sort ofpressure right now.

"..I thought so,” he said quietly.

“I can’t deal with this right now. I... I need to go.”

I took several steps away but Cai called out to me. His expression changed to one of worry and Icould feel he was about to chase after me, but I held up a hand to warn him to stay away.

“Aria, wait, where are you going?”

I didn’t reply and instead spun around, walking off into the night away from him. There was nopoint in staying any longer. I was already at the point of feeling humiliated and confused enough.“Aria, promise me you're going home?”

But I didn't stop. I kept walking. I kept walking not really knowing where I was going but I knew Ineeded to keep moving.

However, after several minutes, I couldn't help it anymore, unable to hold it in. I screamed out intothe sky; my frustration finally getting the better of me.

Aleric, my father, Cai... everyone that I had hoped would act one way, had ended up doing theopposite when I'd needed them most. I had needed Aleric to believe me, to take my side. I'dneeded my father to push for Thea's arrest, or at least confinement until it was safe to replace moreevidence. And I'd needed Cai... I'd needed... 1

I shook the thoughts out of my head.

No, this was all Thea's fault. Everything had been fine before she'd shown up. Myra would still bealive and I wouldn't be fighting with Aleric and my father. I wouldn't have to feel so messed upinside.

Everything was beginning to crumble around me, signs of the past starting to repeat.

And I realised then that if Aleric and my father weren't willing to do what needed to be done, thenmaybe would just do it myself. 1

Fuck it.

I started moving again, walking with purpose towards the one place I could get my hands onsomethingt o inflict as much pain to someone as I was currently in.

Because I was going to make Thea pay... and I would do it slowly, piece by piece, with the silverblade she used to kill Myra. I would make it agonising for her and ensure that she'd suffer an evenworse death poor Myra.

But I felt it the very second I thought of my plan to go see Thea; the Alpha command Aleric hadplaced on me. It wasn't happy with my intention to defy the order given to me. I winced, crying outin pain as it constricted itself around me, forcing my movements to stop.1

The ground then suddenly came rushing towards me as I fell, and I began to crawl even as the paingot worse; I was determined to keep going no matter the cost. It was as if a car was thrown on topof my body, crushing me slowly the more I fought against it

But it was too late to stop me.

In my head, I repeated the words I needed to tell myself; that I was marked by the Goddess, chosen,a Saintess, and no order should be able to contain me. If I wanted to go kill Thea, then goddammit, Iwould go kill her.

And so, I violently shoved at the restraints in my head, screaming against the unbearable pain itcaused, until they finally broke off me like chains... and, instantly, I gasped with relief when theweight was lifted. It was as if an immediate sense of liberation filled me and I felt like I couldsuddenly do anything.

I was free.

Without wasting any time, I picked myself back up and continued on my journey, my new freedomonly coercing me onwards faster. I kept going until, finally, I came to the building where theevidence was kept locked up. The silver knife would be in there I knew, guarded by at least onewarrior, but I wasn't concerned. Given how little time had passed since Aleric's decision, I was fairlysure that, as far they probably knew, I was still a part of the ongoing investigation.

Upon entering the building, I looked around. I'd been here many times before during my Beta heirrounds but it felt like I was seeing it in a completely new light given how dark it already was outside.The entire place felt too empty and quiet but I knew there would be someone around.

I weaved through the hallways, remembering the way easily until I saw the room up ahead. A roomguarded by only one warrior named Ray. Unfortunately, I didn't know him that well.

“Evening, Ray.” I greeted cautiously in a flat voice, approaching him slowly to gauge his response.He looked confused as he saw me enter. “Beta heir? Why are you here so late?”

“Aleric asked me to pick something up. It's for the ongoing investigation.”

This wasn't necessarily a lie. It was definitely going to help with solving the issue of Myra’s murdereron the loose.

Chesterbrity Fou!

He hesitated, looking uncomfortable, and probably realised that something wasn't right here.

“He most likely meant in the morning, Ma'am. The evidence locker is kept shut until daylight hours.The warriors are Alpha ordered to stand guard for the duration of the night duty so I cant bypassthat.”

“Oh, I understand, but this order comes from Aleric himself. I need to get in at his request, you see...which would be considered the same level of authority as your orders. It really is important, so if Ican just

I tried to sidestep him to get closer to the door but he took a step in front of me, blocking my path."You should know as well as I do that I can't just let you in, Ma'am. You'll need to leave and comeback with the Alpha heir if the matter can’t wait until the morning.”

“Ray,” I said, gritting my teeth. “I need to get in there. Just... move aside, please. Don't make me hurtyou."

His eyes narrowed. “Is that a threat?”

“It doesn't need to be.”

The words escaped my lips quickly before I could stop them and I knew right away it was a mistake.He could act out in defence is verbally threatened and a physical altercation with him would onlymake the situation worse. But the anger of being stopped for something so ridiculous was onlyfuelling my frustration more. Frustration caused by everything that had happened recently.

I needed to act quick before he could do anything and so I lunged towards the keys on his waist. Hewas faster than I expected though as his hand shot out, quickly encircling my wrist to stop me.“Ray! Let go of me! Now!" I demanded, trying to pull my hand out of his grasp.

“I'm keeping you detained here until I can call for assistance or get ahold of the Alpha heir himself.Threatening a member of the pack without just cause is punishable.”

I tried to pull my wrist away again but he held on tighter, his body now shuffling to compensate forthe increasingly more aggressive attempts I was trying to do in order to escape.

But no, I wouldn't be taken down like this.

I hadn't just broken out of excruciating Alpha orders to be stopped like this. I'd come too far alreadyto back out now.

..And then it was like something overcame me.

My whole body went still and completely silent; an energy bursting itself inside me as if the pressurehad finally snapped. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before as my body moved on its own.

I quickly wrenched back the arm he was holding with enough strength that his face was suddenlyright in front of my own... and I spoke...

..However, the voice didn't feel like mine.

“I said... Let me go. NOW".

Instantly, his hand slackened and I watched as his eyes glazed over. The authority level in thecommand I'd just thrown at him had hit him hard. Harder than anything I thought was physicallypossible.

..And yet it had come from me.

I stood frozen for a few seconds until the shock of what Id just done finally hit me and was enoughfor reality to kick in. But it wasn't without consequence. With it came intense vertigo; one thatrequired me to brace myself against the wall stop myself from falling. The whole room spun as Itried to gain control, my heart racing quickly.

Chapier Filly—Four

Was this the “ultimate authority’ I'd read about when someone marked by the Goddess had higherpower than an Alpha? This entire time I'd thought it was a ranked title honoured out of respect for adeity, not something actually enforceable with real ability. But then why did it make me feel so sick?Was it because I wasn't shifted yet? Perhaps my younger body couldn't compensate for the level ofpower required to control it.

Ray was naturally bewildered by my command that prevented him from doing his duty. He startedto take several shaky steps backwards away from me... but I realised too late to help him when hisfoot suddenly caught under him. With a sickening thud on impact, I watched in mute horror as hisbody fell backwards against the door behind him... and stop moving.

My head had luckily cleared enough to be able to run and check on him. He was alive, thankfully,but he'd taken a pretty bad hit to the head.

Being as strong as he was, I knew he would be okay in a few hours after healing and so I proceededto drag him out of the way to gain access to the door.

After acquiring the keys from his waist, I quickly ran into the evidence room, not wanting to wasteany more time. I searched everywhere until, finally, I found my old silver dagger glaring at me froma shelving unit to the left.

Seeing it again made me feel queasy, but I'd already made up my mind to kill Thea with it. Whenthe light was about to fade from her eyes, I'd make sure it the last thing she'd see. Right next to me,smiling down a ther. It'd be poetic in a way.

I stomached any remaining uneasiness I had as I quickly grabbed the dagger, leaving before anyoneelse showed up to check on the evidence lock-up or replace Ray.