ACADEMY OF THE UNDEAD; BOOK TWO Stand Together ... Or Fall Together
CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Decisive Action

An hour later, Elizabeth found Aleisha lazing on a deckchair, and with hands on her hips, she faced her. “Aleisha, may I speak to you?”

Aleisha was just about to mutter, I’m kinda busy, until she realised it was Elizabeth. The grieving Pistol was slowly improving, and Aleisha wanted to help with her emotional rehabilitation. “Hi Beth, of course you can talk to me.”

Fixing her with a stern gaze, Elizabeth said, “I’ve just been speaking to the girl in the basement.”

“Ohhh her,” Aleisha said dismissively, then she asked brightly, “Anyway, how are you?”

“Well thank-you,” Elizabeth replied, then she added, “But after speaking to the girl in the basement, I’m also a little annoyed.”

“Yes, she can be very annoying, although she’s getting better.” Aleisha replied.

“No, I’m not annoyed with her, although I am slightly miffed with you.”

Ruby was lying in the deck-chair next to Aleisha, and she popped her head up and asked, “BB, does miffed mean pissed off?”

“Ummm, annoyed would be the most suitable substitution, although I had already used annoyed at the beginning of that statement, and I didn’t want to double-use the word in such a short statement. In answer to your question though, the phrase pissed off, does come from the same family as miffed and annoyed.”

From the next deckchair along, Isabelle asked, “BB, how come you’re miffed off with Camel?”

“Ohhh, Isabelle, there is no need to use the word off if you use the word miffed; you only use the word off if you use the word pissed.”

“So looking at that,” Isabelle began, “I can’t say something like, I’m really fucking miffed off?”

“Hmmm, I’m not sure, although that has a nice ring to it, so maybe we could say that you only use the word off, if you’re saying pissed, or if you’re saying, really fucking miffed.”

“I love it when you swear Beth.” Aleisha said sweetly.

“Anyway BB, why are you miffed with Aleisha?” Ruby asked.

“Ohhh yes; I am miffed with you Aleisha, and I should take a moment to apologise for being miffed at you, because I love you dearly; but I have been speaking to the girl in the basement, and that particular conversation has led me to my current state of miffication.”

“Why, what did she say?” Aleisha asked.

“She told me about all the rules and regulations that you have imposed on her, and she also told me about all the laws and commands that she has to abide by.”

Aleisha was confused, and she asked, “And you’re miffed because?”

“Aleisha, you’re treating her like an animal, and it appears as though you’re simply training her for the sole purpose of obeying all your commands!”

“Well, in some respects she still is an animal, and I’m training her to not be an animal.”

“No, she is a human being, and she deserves to be treated with a little respect and dignity.”

“Ummm, BB …”

“What Ruby?”

“She’s not a human being, she’s a vampire.”

“Ohhh, yes, of course,” Elizabeth acknowledged. “But we are all guilty here, because we are all treating her like an animal by keeping her locked in the basement.”

“Beth, there is a simple law when enemies confront one another.” Aleisha stated.

“And the law is?”

“Keep your friends close, and keep your enemies … chained up in the basement.”

Ruby spluttered out a laugh.

“Yeah, good one Camel!” Isabelle declared.

“Well, whatever the case may be, somebody has decided to do something about it.”

“Who, what?” Isabelle asked.

“I have decided to do something about it!” Elizabeth exclaimed.

“What are you going to do?” Ruby asked.

“What I am going to do has already been done,” Elizabeth replied, then she held her head high and said encouragingly, “Come, come out.”

After an awkward silence, Aleisha asked, “Sorry Beth, I didn’t understand; what do you want us to do?”

“No, you don’t need to do anything,” Elizabeth replied, and with her hands joined in front of her skirt, she lowered her face and shyly gazed at the buildings behind her as she whispered, “Come, come now.”

They all waited, and Elizabeth, still peering over at the building, whispered with a little more urgency, “Ummm, excuse me, you can come out.”

Ruby whispered, “Is BB okay?”

Isabelle whispered, “Ohhh, do you think BB is talking to Mel?”

Elizabeth turned back to the group and pointed at her ears as she said, “Enhanced senses? I can hear you, and yes, I am okay, but no, I am not talking to Melanie, I am talking to my friend, or actually, I am talking to a real person who may grow to become a friend of mine, or something like that.” Elizabeth spun around and faced the building, then she said with a little more authority, “Flipping Cheese Crackers Giddy, come out here right now!”

Discernible shuffling emanated from the shadows, and a timid voice whispered, “Maybe aks my Mistress first.”

Aleisha smiled, then she said brightly, “Yes Beast, you may come forth.”

More modest shuffling, then a nervous question. “Errr, does that mean yo can come out?”

“Yes, that’s what I said.” Aleisha replied, “But don’t say yo.”

“No, don’t say yo?”

“We have discussed this before, and yes, don’t say yo, but come out.”

Giddy shuffled hesitantly into the soft glow of the building’s lights, and Aleisha looked at her, then turned her attention to Elizabeth as she asked in surprise, “Beth, you took her helmet off?”

Elizabeth stood straight, then proudly declared, “I, Elizabeth Genevieve Grant, a member of the mighty Pistols, will be the first member of the team to treat our new addition with the respect and dignity that she deserves …” At the most inappropriate moment, Giddy farted, a loud, liquidly fart, then she said quickly, “A thousand apologies Blondie.” And unfortunately farted again. “Two thousand apologies.” she mumbled, and then she added shyly, “Farts creep out sometimes iffen I’m nervous.”

“I wouldn’t say that those two farts creeped out.” Ruby smirked.

“More exploded out.” Isabelle agreed.

Elizabeth glanced at the shy girl, then turned back to the group as she continued. “Errr, where was I … ohhh, yes, I will treat our new friend with the respect and dignity that she may, or may not deserve, I guess we’ll just see how that plays out; but yes, Giddy, she currently of no clan, but now on probationary trial with the Mephistopheles Clan, come stand by my side, and I will introduce you to the other members of this prestigious clan.”

Giddy shuffled up and waved shyly at Aleisha. “Yo, hello Mistress.”

Aleisha waved her right index finger at her and said, “No say yo.”

Giddy bowed and said, “A thousand apologies Mistress.”

“You already know Aleisha, and next to her is Aleisha’s partner Ruby, so say what I told you to say.” Elizabeth said encouragingly.

Giddy shuffled nervously and mumbled, “Pleased to meet wit yo.”

Elizabeth frowned and said, “You mean, I am pleased to meet you Ruby.”

“I am pleased to meet you Ruby.”

“Hello!” Ruby waved.

“Mistress’s partner, wow,” Giddy mumbled, then she winked at Ruby and said, “Lucky duck.”

“Yes, she is a lucky duck, and next to Ruby is Isabelle.” Elizabeth continued.

Feeling unsettled because everybody was gawking at her, Giddy mumbled, “I am pleased to meet you Isabelle.”

Isabelle screamed, “Fuck!” and Giddy tensed as she hustled into a fighting stance, “Huh, what?”

“Sorry, sorry, don’t get uptight, I just swear randomly.”

“Nit-nit, fuck! You uptighted me by screaming out fuck!”

“Yeah sorry, and hi.”

Elizabeth shook her head in befuddled amusement, then said, “Next to Isabelle is Isabelle’s partner, Sophia.”

“Big tits.” Giddy mumbled.

Elizabeth glared at her as she asked, “The greeting?”

“I am pleased to meet you Isabelle.”

“You mean Sophia.”

“Whoops, I am pleased to meet you Sophia.”

Sophia noticed that the shy girl’s gaze hadn’t lifted from her chest, so she cupped her hands under her breasts and said proudly, “Plus gros seins!”

Giddy raised her eyebrows in confusion, and Elizabeth said, “Sophia is French-Canadian, and we are currently teaching her English.”

“How come shim juggling her tits?”

“Hmmm, possibly because you were staring at them.” Elizabeth replied blandly.

“Elizabeth Genevieve Grant, Elizabeth Genevieve Grant,” Isabelle mumbled, then she said brightly, “Hey BB, your initials spell EGG!”

“Ummm, I was aware of that.”

“That’s really cool.” Ruby noted.

“New nickname?” Isabelle wondered.

“No, I’m quite happy with Bible Baby thank-you.”

“Yo nickname is Bible Baby?” Giddy asked.

“Yes, it is.”

Giddy was confused, so she asked, “How come?”

“As a human being, I was a devout Christian.”

“Is yo in a cult?”

To Aleisha, the yo’s were piling up at an alarming rate, although rather than admonish the mumbling Beast, she waited expectantly for Elizabeth’s answer.

“Goodness me, no, I was, and in many ways I still am, a devout Christian, and I wouldn’t call the Roman Catholic Church a cult.”

“Hmmm,” Giddy pondered, then she said, “Them call Mistress Camel, and them call yo Bible Baby, what is everybody else get called?”

“Well Ruby’s nickname is Hands, and Isabelle’s-”

“How come?” Giddy interrupted.

“I beg your pardon?”

“How come youse call shim Hands?”

“Ohhh, yes.” Elizabeth replied, then she took a moment to think about her answer. The true explanation had the ability to embarrass Ruby, and indeed herself; so Elizabeth faced Giddy and said officiously, “We will address that issue at another time; now, Isabelle’s nickname is Tourette’s.”

“I know this one,” Giddy advised, “Shim swears random like.”

“Randomly, and not so randomly, yes,” Elizabeth replied, “And Sophia’s nickname is Frenchie, which is an acknowledgement of her heritage.”

“Maybe we can call shim Big Tits.” Giddy suggested.

“No, we won’t, because we wanted the nicknames to reflect who we are, without having any subtly implied sexual connotations about the nickname.”

“Big Tits ain’t that subtle, BB.” Isabelle advised.

“Appropriate, but not subtle.” Ruby agreed.

“Yes, I agree, but Giddy, I believe you have met the other girls, Piper and Vicky, and those two just happen to be our leaders. Piper doesn’t have a nickname, but Vick-”

“How come?” Giddy interrupted.

“What?”

“How come only one ain’t got no nickname?”

“Ummm, ummm, I guess she does, because some of us call her Piper the Pistol.”

“Hmmm, Piper is easier.”

“Yes, I agree with you, and the other very nice blond girl, Vicky, our other leader has the nickname Goody-Two-Shoes.”

“Ohhh, yo can dig that one,” Giddy began, “Cause’n when yo was being bad and nasty in the basement, Goody-Two-Shoes was trying be nice to yo.”

“Yes, Vicky is very nice to everybody.”

A thought hit Giddy, and she said, “Goody-Two-Shoes weren’t so nice to the people shim sliced up in the battle.”

“Ohhh yes, you’re right, but they weren’t being very nice to her either.”

“Ummm Giddy, if you eventually want to become one of us, it might be in your best interest’s to kinda forget about your previous associations.” Ruby advised.

“Forget about Cordeir and those fuckers?” Giddy asked.

“Yes, that’s who she was referring to.” Elizabeth replied.

Aleisha cocked her head and asked, “Apology?”

“Ohhh, nit-nit, yo done been caught swearing, so a thousand apologies Mistress!”

“Okay, now wait a minute, from now on, you don’t have to apologise to anyone!” Elizabeth declared.

“What about Mistress?” Giddy asked.

“No, you don’t have to apologise to anyone,” Elizabeth replied, then she glared at Aleisha as she asked, “Does she Mistress?”

Aleisha shrugged her shoulders and said, “It was fun while it lasted.”

“You crack me up Camel!” Isabelle laughed.

“Hey Big Tits,” Giddy said as she pointed at Isabelle, “Bible Blondie says no nicknames with sexy combinations, so watch yo mouth!”

“I’m not Big Tits, Sophia is Big Tits!” Isabelle stated.

“Ohhh, yeah, yo got excited, and I got me some confusion.” Giddy apologised, and it was either the excitement or the confusion that resulted in the quiet, yet prolonged fire-cracker-sounding expulsion from her bottom. “Whoops, a thousand apologies.”

Isabelle chuckled, “Fuck me.” and Elizabeth turned to her and said, “Anyway, Sophia is not Big Tits, she is Frenchie, Isabelle.”

“Blondie Bible, thinking ’bout nicknames yo, the nickname Camel has got sexy combinations, so maybe shim no more call Mistress, Camel!” Giddy offered.

With her nose crinkling, Elizabeth tried to follow the statement, and she nodded, then said, “Yes, you could be right, I think.”

Aleisha chuckled, “Blondie Bible?”

Isabelle chuckled as well, then she muttered, “Blondie Bible, who’s initials just happen to be EGG!”

Blondie Bible seemed to be flustered, so Giddy said meekly, “Youse want yo to crack shim open for saying that?”

“No, I don’t want you to crack anybody open, I just want you to be nice to everybody.”

“Yo decided I’ma gunna be nice to yo, Mistress and Big Tits.”

Sophia jiggled her breasts and exclaimed, “Plus gros seins!”

Distracted by the garbled conversations, and also by Sophia’s inappropriate actions, Elizabeth huffed, “Heavens above!”

“And be nice to me too!” Isabelle declared.

“No, yo swear too much, and yo get me’s in trouble.” Giddy huffed.

“Fuck off!” Isabelle roared.

With her shoulders hunching and a snarl developing, Giddy roared back, “No, yo fuck off!”

“Cocksucker, you fucking fuck off!”

“Shit-fucker, yo fuck off and fuck up!”

Panting and ebullient, Isabelle nodded, then smiled as she said, “Yeah, I like the girl!”

“Yeah, yo like shim too!” Giddy replied. She reflected that yeah, cool, the swearing ban had been lifted, and she was in love with Mistress, and Blondie Bible seemed very nice, and Giddy felt that she could grow to like it here. Wanting to get to know the others better, she asked Ruby, “So how’s it be that them’s call yo Hands?”

“Ohhh, ummm …”

Elizabeth jumped in to help her as she said, “The subject of nicknames is a topic that we can discuss at another time,” then she called out, “Piper, Vick, could you come out to the courtyard please.”

Sounds emanated from the first floor of the dormitory, and Piper yelled back, “We’ll be down soon.”

Slightly bemused, and miffed, Elizabeth enquired, “Goodness me, are you guys…”

A quieter statement drifted back, “Ummm, it’s Vicky’s birthday.”

“Ohhh dearie me, I did forget, but anyway, Happy Birthday Vicky!”

“Hooo, ohhhh, ummm, th-thanks Beth.”

Giddy glanced at Mistress and asked shyly, “Is them Gasm-a-ming up?”

Aleisha smiled cheekily, then said, “Let’s replace out, shall we?” Turning to the building, Aleisha asked, “What’s she giving you for your birthday Vick?”

“Hooo, ummm, guys, I, I’m kinda busy.” Vicky muttered.

“Sounds like Aleisha.” Isabelle chuckled.

The sounds rippled with subdued intensity; “Hooo, ohhhh, mmmm …”

“It does sound like she is busy though.” Ruby noted.

“What is she doing to you Vick?” Aleisha asked.

“Ohhh, ooohh, ummm, guys, maybe use your imagination.” Vicky cooed.

“Giving you a gentle tickle with those magic fingers?” Ruby asked.

“Hooo, oooh …”

“Going down on you?” Aleisha asked.

“Oohh my God, oooo, ohhhh …”

“Probing you with her collection of sex toys?” Isabelle wondered.

“God!” Vicky wheezed in frustration. “Excuse me for a moment Piper,” she whispered, then she said boldly, “If you must know, I have Piper flat on her back and her legs wide apart, and I’m grinding my clitoris against her pelvic bone, and if you hadn’t of interrupted me, I’m quite sure that you all would have heard the conclusion!”

“Sorry Vick,” Aleisha apologised, “Please, carry on.”

The sounds began again, and Vicky whispered, “Piper can you do me a favour?”

“What?”

“Say, faster, faster, harder, harder again.”

“Vick, everybody’s listening now.”

“No, we’re not!” Ruby stated.

Isabelle grabbed Ruby’s hand, and they raced over and stood under the window, then they both started clapping as they screamed out; “Faster, harder, faster, harder, faster, harder …”

With the aid of the enthusiastic encouragement, that which was sought, was achieved, and all present did hear the spluttering conclusion.

Giddy cocked her head and said, “Yeah, I think I like it here.”

Elizabeth took Giddy’s hand and led her toward Livinia’s office. “Okay, so now you’re going to meet Livinia Crenwinkle, the leader of this clan.”

“Is that the tall bitch what pulled Cordeirs teeth out?”

“Ummm, ummm, I believe she pulled his whole jaw out, but yes, her.”

“Shim won’t do nothing to yo?” Giddy asked hesitantly.

“No, of course not.”

“Good yo, cause’n if shim done something to yo, I done something right back at shim.”

Elizabeth faced her and said calmly, “Nobody is going to do anything to anybody, except for being polite and courteous. Do you understand?”

“When people done stuff to yo, yo done back to them worser, cause’n yo use to be the baddest, nastiest vampire in New Orleans.”

“Yes, you have told me before, but now I want you to be the nicest and friendliest vampire in New Orleans.”

“Wait up!”

“What?”

“Yo is the nicest and friendliest vampire in New Orleans, Blondie Bible!”

“Hmmm, thank-you, and you may be right, but I’d like you to follow in my footsteps and be nice to everybody.”

“Wait up.”

“What?”

“I’m finkin yo too nice, and yo can’t be too nice like that.”

“We shall take it one step at a time, but I like you, and I would like to think that you can become a member of our team.”

“After yo finish my properbation?”

“Yes, well, hopefully.”

“Blondie Bible …”

“What?”

“When me is with Cordeirs fuckers, we just do bad stuff yo, like ripping people’s necks open yo, and torturing peoples, and hanging fuckers upside down and drinking them’s blood-”

“Goodness me!” Elizabeth interrupted, “I’m saying no, you don’t do those things anymore, because the Mephistopheles Clan is all about getting rid of vicious and depraved people.”

Giddy sucked her bottom lip and asked shyly, “So’s yo can hang vicious and depraved fucker’s upside down and drink their blood?”

With her hands clasped in front of her skirt, Elizabeth said politely, “Giddy …”

“What?”

“We are going to meet Livinia Crenwinkle, and I want you to behave yourself, and I don’t want you to say any of the things that you just said to me.”

“Nothing ’bout ripping neck’s open?”

“No.”

“Torturing peoples?”

“No!”

“Hanging people’s upside down and-”

“Giddy!” Elizabeth interrupted again, “No, don’t say any of those things, and actually, just let me do the talking.”

Elizabeth led her into the room, and Giddy understood that this was the Big Boss, the Leader of the clan, and shim was a powerful fucker, because shim ripped whole jawbones out. Giddy gazed at the ground as Blondie Bible said, “Livinia, Giddy, she who stands before you now, has an appreciation of who we are, and she would like to join our team. I personally, will take her under my wing and teach her our ways.”

The Big Boss seemed to understand what Blondie Bible was saying, and that was good, because Giddy didn’t understand. The Big Boss said, “Excellent. Giddy, we are a team and we work together, and if you abide by our rules, I will welcome you into the team.”

Elizabeth nudged Giddy and whispered, “Say what I told you to say.”

Giddy blushed and said, “Fucker, I forgot what yo said.”

Elizabeth blushed, and said, “I thought Aleisha told you to stop saying yo, and please don’t swear in front of our leader.”

“Wait up, yo thought that yo lifted swearing ban, yo?”

Elizabeth crinkled her nose in confusion, then said, “We will put in place a swearing ban when you’re talking with our esteemed Leader, and we will also put in place a ban on using the word yo. From now on, you will say, you or me, or yes or no.”

Giddy nodded and said, “No.”

Elizabeth glared at her and asked, “I beg your pardon?”

Giddy liked that Blondie Bible begged her pardon’s, but yo was uptight, and she said uncertainly, “Yes?”

“Yes, thank-you.” Elizabeth replied.

Giddy frowned and asked, “What yo thanking yo for?”

Elizabeth sucked her bottom lip, then said quietly, “So Livinia, I will show Giddy around and help her settle in.”

“Very good Elizabeth.” Livinia replied.

Giddy liked this place, and she bowed respectfully as she said, “Pleased to meet wit yo Big Boss.”