Ace

I watched Nora as she sat at the table with us, she still looked like the woman who once arrived here... but she wasn’t.

Whatever she went through, I don’t know, but she’s a fighter, I know that for sure. I was there when she fought for weeks against herself... against the whole world.

And when she cried in front of me yesterday, my heart broke for her again. I’m sure she’s hurt and disappointed in me that I was at her door and it seemed like I was only there for the club... in truth, I was thinking about her and not the club. When she told me that her stepfather had raped her, I was so angry. He ignored all his duties as a father and did the worst thing anyone could do to a child. He disgusts me, and I hope he gets what he deserves. It was so surprising to feel Nora’s arms around me when she hugged me yesterday. Her delicate body pressed so close to me, I briefly lost touch with reality. She is so precious and wonderful, even broken, she is worth more to me than anything I own.

I kept thinking it was just compassion that I felt, but it wasn’t. Her eyes haunted me every night, and her voice was like the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard. But I knew that she would leave us as soon as she and Tom got her stepfather in prison. She was scared and abused with severe trauma what should she do with a biker. I just looked at her and admired her beauty, the little dimples that appear on her cheeks when she smiles. And her eyes that looked like the cognac I poured down to avoid thinking about her.

“What do you think about us showing you the community?” I heard Duke ask, and he snapped me back to reality.

Nora looked at me and then at Evelyn. She trusted mother, I knew that, and mom encouraged her. “It’s ok honey you can trust my boys. It’s time for you to go out too and not hide in the room,” mom said, stroking her hand.

I looked at the hand and thought what it would feel like if I could do it.

“...what do you think Ace?” I heard Duke say, and I looked up at him.

“What do I think about what?” I asked, confused.

“Nora wanted to see Doc first? Do you think he’s there?” Duke asked.

“Are you not feeling well?” I asked Nora worriedly. She smiled at me and nodded, “I have to apologize to Doc,” she said, and I looked at her with raised eyebrows.

“Sure,” I replied, confused.

When we left the house, Duke walked a few steps in front of us, but talked about the community without interruption. Nora walked next to me, her eyes always scanning the surroundings. Everyone who came towards us greeted us in a friendly way, she always seemed very tense and looked at me. When I smiled at her and each time explained who it was and told her something about the person, she seemed calmed down. I was so damn proud that I was able to calm her down.

“Once the shops are open again, it will be a little more crowded here, but don’t worry, no one is allowed to go further than the bar. We should go there too, it’s always great when we throw a party. That’s Gears workshop... He even talks less than you. So don’t worry if he just nods at you. And there’s our golden boy,” Duke said, walking towards Storm. I felt Nora’s small hand on my wrist as Duke walked in Storm’s direction.

“It’s ok Nora... that’s the handsome blonde Swedish demigod who has his tattoo studio here,” I said, laughing, and she looked up at me. “Storm,” I added, and she looked from me to him.

Storm is a tall, muscular man with an angelic face and blonde hair. He looked from Duke to us, and his eyes fell on Nora and then on her hand on my wrist. He smiled kindly at us and looked at me with a grin.

Just as I was about to suggest moving on, Doc came towards us.

“Nora... are you okay?” he asked worriedly, and she turned her attention from Storm to him.

“I... I actually wanted to go to you,” she said quietly.

“Sure. Let’s go,” Doc said, looking from her to me questioningly. When we arrived at Doc’s, she was standing in the room where she was examined for the first time.

“We can also go to another room,” said Doc, aware of the situation.

“No... Doc, I wanted to apologize... for insulting you... scratching... biting you... throwing the phone at you,” I heard her say, and I had to suppress my laughter at the last one.

“It’s ok Nora. I know the situation was very tense,” replied Doc, “It still is... but I’m fighting my fear. It’s just... I think you’re right and I need help. Evelyn told me a therapist can help,” Nora said, looking at her hands.

She always did this when she felt uncomfortable, and I looked at Doc who noticed it himself.

“A therapist can help you, Nora... I’m speaking from experience. I was in the army... I saw a lot of shit. Dr. Owen comes to me regularly and we talk. To others it just looks like a patient... But in truth, I am the patient. Next time she comes I would ask her to take you in... Try it. If it doesn’t help you can always stop,” Doc said, and she looked from him to me.

As if she’s looking for encouragement from me... confirmation of something she’s not sure about. “You can try, doll, if it doesn’t work we’ll replace another solution,” I said to her, and she nodded.

“I’m very happy for you that you decided to leave your room,” Doc said, and she smiled and looked at me again.

When someone from the community came to the Doc for an appointment, we said goodbye and left. I was very proud of her; the little walk today was a huge step for her.

I accompanied her to the safe house, and we were standing in front of the door when she turned to me.

“Thanks, Andrew,” she said, smiling.

I just fucking can’t... she was so beautiful it hurt. My heart was beating like crazy, and my head seemed heavy.

“Sure,” I simply replied. Sure? Wtf Ace?!

“See you at the barbecue tonight?” she asked, and I nodded.

When she walked in smiling, I didn’t want to leave, but she needed her space.

Since King and his Ol’ Lady were away to Alaska, Duke was in charge of everything. We were sitting on the porch of the bar, and he was talking about some plans. My head wasn’t ready to listen because all my attention was on the safe house. I was looking the whole time and wondered what she was doing... how she was doing.

“Are you even listening to me, Orphan?” Duke asked, and I turned to him, “Sure,” I answered him. “Yeah... sure. It’s just that since you’ve been sitting here you haven’t heard a single word I said, and you’ve been staring at the house the whole time,” Duke said, laughing. “What’s going on between you and Nora?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I answered him. What was I supposed to say? That I fell in love with someone we were supposed to protect.

“Nothing huh? You’ve already seen the way she looks at you Ace?” Duke asked a little more seriously. All my attention was suddenly there, and I looked at him.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“The girl likes you. But you know that she has been through a lot of shit. It will be very difficult and take a lot of time,” he replied.

“I just want her to be okay. It doesn’t have to be with me. I just want her to be happy,” I said.

“Oh really. Then I can tell Storm...” Duke started, and I looked from my drink into his eyes. His grin was so wide I just rolled my eyes. “Don’t worry, Orphan, even Storm noticed how she was clinging to you,” Duke said, laughing.

“What the fuck should I do?” I asked him.

“Be a friend to her. Help her... if she wants you will know. If not, then you are on your way to fulfilling your wish, and she will be okay even without you,” Duke said.

I had to admit he was right, and when I looked back at the house, Alice was parked in front of it. I watched as she took bags out of her car and brought them into her house.

“You’ve become a creepy stalker bro,” Duke said, laughing.

I fucking know I can’t do anything about it, I just want her to be okay. If I could take all of her pain, I would. She deserves so much more than this.

When it was almost evening, I went to her house and knocked on the door. Alice was waiting for us, and I knew that it would definitely be tiring for her to go there alone knowing that there would be other people there that she might not even know.

She opened the door when I knocked, and I just stood there and said nothing at the sight of her. She was wearing ripped jeans and a black tight t-shirt which may have been simple but looked like art on her.

“Hi,” she said smiling as I looked into her eyes after looking her up and down.

“Hi,” was all I could manage. Get your shit together Ace! “You look great,” I told her, and her cheeks blushed as she bit her bottom lip.

“I didn’t know what to wear. Alice brought me so many clothes,” she said quietly. I had to swallow hard to keep from saying something stupid. “Are you ready?” I asked her, and she nodded.

Duke was right, she needed security and friendship. Someone she could trust and let go. I wasn’t important, only she was, and I will do everything to make her happy again. Even if I destroy myself in the process.

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