Alpha Billionaire Series -
Billionaire and the Barista Chapter 7
GABRIELLA
About two years since Gabriella last saw Nathan...
The kitchen was hot, and I had too much work to get done. Of course, Robbie would not let me put him down. He had gotten so big.
"Did you gain ten pounds overnight?" I asked him.
I hefted him out of his play pen and held him in place as I began wrapping him up in the wrap that had become our standard. It kept him close and secure while I had my hands free for doing what needed to be done.
He looked up at me with those big eyes like his father had. I was a sucker for those eyes, especially from Robbie. His little mouth worked the pacifier in his mouth, and he leaned his head against my shoulder. "You feeling it too huh?" I said.
Today should have been happy and full of joyful expectation, but I had woken up under a cloud of depression. My doc had promised the baby hormones would leave my body and the post-partum depression would eventually go away. But when would I know if I was experiencing postpartum or regular depression?
I had been told to give myself time. It had taken almost a year to collect the hormones and build the baby. I should give it at least a year to get them out of my system. The problem was that I really didn't think this mood was baby hormone related. More like baby- daddy-related.
Maybe I would have gotten over Nathan sooner, but I had his little clone clinging to me like some koala cub. I kissed Robbie's forehead. He was my heart outside of my body. If he needed to be held, then I would hold him. I just wish that my obvious low mood wasn't reflected in his face. He deserved a mommy who was happier, especially on his birthday.
I hitched up the wrap which secured him to my side and continued working. I had to make more special cupcakes for the front case as well as his birthday cake.
"Where is the birthday boy?" Mitch burst into my kitchen.
"Hey Mitch, hey Jenny," I called out as she followed him in.
I added wet ingredients into the big mixer and hit start.
I turned to face my guests. Jenny already had her hands out ready to take Robbie. I know she took him for purely selfish reasons, but I welcomed the break. I loved my son, but baking was a lot easier without him attached to me.
I unwrapped Robbie and let Jenny take him. He squealed and giggled as she blew bubbles on his tummy and generally adored him.
"We brought over decorations for the party," she said.
"Thanks." I simply had too much to get done to also decorate. Love Buns was going to look like a kid's birthday party for the second half of the day, and then I was closing early. Friends and friends who were now family were coming over and we were having a proper birthday party for my baby boy.
Jenny and Robbie spun through the door out of the café leaving me and Mitch behind.
"How are you doing, kid? And don't say fine. I know what fine looks like on your face, and that ain't it," Mitch said as he kissed me on the brow and then took his usual seat propped up in the corner away from any food prep.
"Therapist Mitch is in da house!" I teased. "Got the morbs, feeling gloomy."
"Have you talked to your doc about it? Maybe they need to change up your meds?"
I sighed. "She says the same thing each time. I need to give it time. Postpartum will eek its way out of my system. No, this feels different. This feels like run-of-the-mill depression."
I woke up with my head full of the memories that had brought me to today. The memories were bittersweet. The instances were all the happiest moments of my life, only in the end I was left all alone.
My phone rang with Human League's "Don't You Want Me?" I froze. Panic flooded my system.
"Aren't you going to answer that?"
"Nope." I put the phone on the counter in front of Mitch and pointed at it. "It's Nathan. I don't know why he's calling today of all days. Maybe because the universe smacked him in the back of the head or something. He calls but he never leaves a voicemail. Never." "Why not answer," Mitch asked.
I sighed. My eyes locked with Mitch's. He wouldn't have asked if he didn't want to know.
"He hasn't called in a year. So why today? Why now? I'm having a hard time today because of him. Because of Robbie." I ground the heel of my palm into my eye, swiping the tears that formed.
"I don't want Robbie to see pictures from his first birthday party and wonder why his mom looks so miserable."
"Have you talked to him since?"
"Since he left? No." I shook my head. "And I haven't tried to call him back."
"Why not?"
"Why should I? He never leaves a message. As far as I know all he is doing is drunk dialing," I said.
"But he's trying. He called."
"No, Mitch, he's not trying. Trying is leaving a message. I call the wrong number all the time. That's not me reaching out, just as this"- I shook my phone- "is not Nathan reaching out. I don't have time for his games. I don't have time to be the one to do the heavy lifting. Nathan has to follow through. I can't sit around second-guessing his motives, not when I have a bakery counter to fill, a birthday cake to bake, and a baby to raise."
I washed my hands before returning to my work. I pulled a stack of cupcake trays off the shelves and lined them up on the counter. I popped paper cupcake wrappers in as I continued.
"Nathan left for Europe to prove something to himself and his father. He went to seemingly grow up, he still has some growing to do. Did I ever tell you he said he wanted to marry me?" Mitch nodded solemnly.
"When I asked if he still wanted to marry me, he said the time wasn't right because he had to leave. But he couldn't see that I couldn't just leave all of this on a whim, and not without some kind of commitment."
I began ladling in the mix.
"I don't think Nathan ever realized that I'm the owner of all of this. He always told me to tell my boss off. That I didn't owe it to my boss to stay and finish the baking or open late for the race crowd. He wanted me to tell my landlord I was leaving, and to tell my boss to shove it. No, I'm not going to call him back. Maybe leaving to grow up is the best for him. For both of us."
"And Robbie?"
"Robbie has plenty of male role models around. I mean, you're not going to abandon us, are you?"
"No, I'm not going anywhere," Mitch smirked.
"And if you were, you would give Jenny more notice than a few days and marry her."
"There are so many things wrong with that statement starting off with me going anywhere. I like where I am. The second is assuming Jenny would be willing to go anywhere. And let's face it, that woman doesn't want to marry me." He held his hands up in a defensive gesture.
I laughed. Jenny and Mitch were like some old married couple, only without the married part. I doubted anything would ever change that. They had had some epic fights in the time I knew them. But it was always them. They were a solid couple; they didn't need the paperwork to prove it.
I don't know. Maybe Nathan and I could have been like that. A solid couple not needing to be married. But in order for that to happen, Nathan needed to have paid better attention. I was the landlord and the boss that he wanted me to tell stuff-it. "How long were you dating Jenny before you knew what she did for a living?" I asked.
"That's easy. I met her at the club where she was dancing. So, I knew what she did right away."
"But you knew. I met Nathan and I don't think he ever put two and two together." I shook my head to clear out the thoughts of Nathan. "I don't want to talk about him any more today."
I opened the ovens and slid in the trays of cupcakes. I set the time.
"Go help Jenny. I'm sure she's not getting anything done with Robbie to distract her."
"You know if being married is what's the most important thing to you, I'll marry ya," Mitch said.
I laughed. He had made that offer before. He was teasing, he always was.
"I don't think Jenny wouldn't like that much."
"Not at all, but she'd take that baby in a fair trade," he chuckled.
"I don't think trading you for Robbie is much of a fair deal. Shoo. I have work to do," I said as I made waving motions to get him out of my kitchen.
"Who is getting the short end of the stick in that trade?" he asked.
"Me. I'd be giving up the adorable Robbie and having to deal with you. No thank you. I think the arrangement we have is just fine. Jenny gets a grandbaby; you get to be the baby's godfather and super uncle. And I get a big brother." I started to tear up again. "Come here, kid." Mitch held out his arms.
I went in for a hug. Hugging Mitch was nothing like hugging my dad. Dad had been soft and round and smelled of coffee and cookies. Mitch was skinny and boney and smelled of oil, gas, and cigarettes. But the love was there and that's what mattered. Life would have been so much harder without the constant support from him and Jenny.
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