Alpha Billionaire Series
Baby Surprise Chapter 35

CHRISTOPHER

I sat there and looked at Alicia. She was so fragile. I wanted to pull her against my chest and fight all of her demons. F**k that s***m donor of a father. How dare anyone make her feel like she wasn't wanted, cherished. "You should go." "I don't want to, Alicia."

She shook her head. "I can't do this Christopher. I can't be in love with you and have you decide you don't want me around because you aren't adult enough to open your mouth and ask a f*****g question. I deserve better. My son deserves better." I pushed to my feet. "He's my son too."

She shook her head. "No, not if I don't want him to be."

"That's not how it works."

"It is if I say so. I can say it was never you. I can sue you big time for child support. I need to know that we would be a priority in your life. Your only priority is the business, doing what your mother says. I don't want you here because your mother told you to get married and make her a grandmother."

I stepped back, shocked. "Who told you that? How did you know?"

"I was there, busting my ass to get her tea. Terrified of this reputation she has, doing my best, and you were bad-mouthing me."

I groaned. I didn't remember the conversation, but I knew the feeling of doing the best possible and not having it be good enough. Nothing was ever good enough for that woman. I chuckled. "You know, she was in my office this morning, and that's when I realized a lot of the dysfunction of my family. I was following in my father's footsteps a little too closely. I also-"

Alicia waved her hand around her head. "I don't care, Christopher. I'm so tired. Everything is too much right now. Can you look at me this second and tell me you want us as a family?"

I stared at her. I had just learned that I had a son, and now I needed to step up and start my own family. My chest tightened at the suddenness of it. I couldn't say anything, words failed me. A tense silence came between us.

"Go away, Christopher. If you have to think about it, then I can't. I can't. I can't be here waiting for you. I can't tell Ceejay you're his father. Just go." She slipped from the couch and padded into the back of the apartment.

I heard a door close. I stared at the back hallway and at the front door. I had made a lot of stupid mistakes in my life. Alicia didn't need my f****d-up sense of entitlement. She was right, I had acted like a spoiled brat instead of asking her directly what I needed to know.

I was playing manipulative games like my mother, only Alicia hadn't grown up with those games. She didn't know there were rules.

I stared longingly into the dark where she disappeared. She was hurt. Raw emotions had racked her body as she tried to tell me why she had made the choices she had. She needed time to heal, time to forgive me.

I needed to get my head out of my ass. With a sense of profound sadness, I stepped toward the front door and opened it to leave. A shuddering sob cut through the living room. It wasn't particularly loud, but it was earth-shattering in the amount of pain it carried through the air. "Idiot," I growled. I slammed the door.

Alicia's sobs grew louder as I strode across the living room and into the back hall. I didn't pause, throwing open the closed bedroom door. She had collapsed in a heap on her bed. I pulled her to me and cradled her on my lap. "I can't," she whimpered.

"You don't have to. I'll beat my own ass forever having made you feel this way. I never meant to hurt you, not like this. I'm a horrible human being. I don't know how to act around you. I'm a fucking idiot I get stupid around you. Please, please forgive me. I don't deserve it. But I don't think I can go on without you."

She sniffed and wiped her face on her shirt sleeve. "What are you saying?"

"I haven't stopped thinking about that sassy, sexy woman who rocked my world on a muggy night in Nashville. And then you go and show up in my office. I overreacted and jumped to conclusions. I expected you to play the same games I was accusing you of in my head. I'm in love with you. And I hate that I'm responsible for you feeling this way. Hate me if you have to, but I'm in love with you."

"You know, that would have been helpful to start with." Her lip trembled and more tears streamed down her face. The tip of her nose turned red, and her cheeks were blotchy. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

I kissed her gently. She hiccuped before resting her head against my chest.

"I had never been so happy as when we were together. I felt like we were a super team and couldn't fail. Man, I failed big time. I failed you when you probably needed me the most." I stroked her hair, my fingers getting caught in the tendrils. "Uh-huh."

"You have my permission to tell me when I'm being stupid. I don't want to lose you again. We had a good connection, and now we could have something truly amazing."

"I'm not going to argue with you." She shook against my chest.

I ducked my head to see if she was crying or laughing. Laughter was so much better than the other.

"Can I meet my son?"

She pushed up. I kept my arms loosely around her. She nodded.

"I don't think today is going to work." She emphasized her words with a big sniff. "Ceejay is a sensitive child. He's smart and empathetic. He'll sense that our nerves are strung tight, and it will upset him." She let her gaze drift. "We shouldn't do it right now. I need you to understand."

I nodded. "This afternoon is not good. I get it. How about tomorrow?" I didn't want meeting my son for the first time to be traumatic for him. This entire situation was intense enough as it was.

"We're going to the zoo. You could come with us." She shrugged.

"The zoo? It's Christmas eve."

"Yeah. Ceejay asked to see the pandas for Christmas. Wouldn't you know it, it's one of the only days in the year the zoo is actually closed. We'll go to the zoo after nap time, and then we can stay and see the Christmas lights in the park."

"Sounds like a good plan. I'd like to join you if you'd let me. If Ceejay is okay with me, of course."

"I hope so. He's still so little. He probably won't remember the details, but I want him to remember that Christmas is magical."

"You don't have a tree up."

She bit her lip and shook her head. "Growing up, my mom was always a stickler for trees on Christmas Eve. I think it was so we could get the tree for super cheap. But I loved making popcorn garlands and cutting out paper snowflakes to decorate them. I thought I'd try that with Ceejay."

"I think that sounds perfect."

My chest tightened when she smiled. I knew it was because my heart was swelling with love and emotions as I looked at her. I chuckled as a brilliant idea came to me. "I think that sounds absolutely perfect."

Alicia's giggle was the best sound I had ever heard. "You are going stupid, you're repeating yourself."

"There are probably a few things I need to repeat like I'm in love with you Alicia, and I am sorry."

She nodded. "I'll take those. Oh my God, Christopher, what are you doing in my bedroom? It's a mess in here."

I reached out and brushed a stray curl behind her ear. "I hadn't noticed."

She leaned against me and I held her. I had missed her. The way she breathed, her scent. All the tiny little details I didn't realize I was missing until they were back.

"Hannah and Ceejay will be back soon," she said after a while. "You should probably go. I'll text you with the details for tomorrow."

I could have stayed there with her in my arms for the rest of my life. I nodded and let her crawl off of my lap. I stood. I instantly missed her warm body against mine.

She followed me to the front door. I leaned over and kissed her. "I've missed you."

"Me too." She gave me a soft smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

She bit her lip and nodded. She watched as I walked down the stairs. I turned to look back up at her from the bottom of the stairs. She gave me a little wave and closed the door.

I checked my watch. I would be heading into late afternoon, after work Christmas shopping, but I had something I needed to get. I headed toward Buckhead. If I couldn't replace what I needed there, it didn't exist.