Alpha Billionaire Series
Loving the One I Should Hate Chapter 15

MANDY

soon increased my productivity.

I had been feeling off my game and having a hard time focusing for a few days. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Grant easily stole my focus when I was with him, but he was very good about allowing me time for work. And knowing that I would see him I felt good regarding the status of MiMa for the first time in weeks.

It was almost as if on the days Mom didn't have energy that I did. And on the days she felt good and was well enough to go out, I had a drop in my energy levels.

I don't think Grant noticed that some days I just wanted to sit around and hang out at his house. If he did notice, he didn't say anything about it to me. I couldn't believe I had met a man like him. Vivica had been right, he ticked all of my boxes.

I flipped through my day planner to make sure I was on target with the financial program I was working on for MiMa. I felt like I was missing something, and I needed to make sure it wasn't a scheduled video meeting.

I looked at the dates and my little notation in pencil indicating that I should start my monthlies. Only they hadn't started. Shit. I counted how many days I was off, and it wasn't possible that I hadn't noticed for almost a whole week.

It had to be the stress of caring for Mom and trying to get the business back in running order and starting a new relationship. There was no way I was pregnant.

I refused to believe that the dental hygienist had to be some kind of a psychic when she warned me about antibiotics. Why had the condom broken? At least we kept using condoms after that. But still.

I stared at the spreadsheet on my laptop, and I did not see numbers. I saw lines. A single line meant not pregnant; two lines meant pregnant.

And that spreadsheet was nothing but sets of double lines. After who knows how long of staring cross-eyed trying to get actual work done, I closed the laptop and stood. I hurried down the stairs, trying to make it look like I was just happily skipping down them with enthusiasm, and not bolting for the door.

I found my mom relaxing in the Adirondack chairs we had out on the lawn by the dock.

"Hey Mom, I'm gonna head out. Do you need anything?" I asked.

She waved at me without looking up. "I'm good. I might go inside and take a nap later."

"Okay," I said as I slid into the car.

I drove straight to the drug store a town over. I didn't need Gracie running into me at the drugstore. That would be mortifying. I don't know if she had even clued in that I was sleeping with Grant. And if she saw me getting a pregnancy test. I didn't want to think about it. It wasn't like I could lie and say it was for Mom. It was best to go where the likelihood of running into anyone who knew me was greatly reduced.

Standing in front of the shelves of pregnancy tests was no less daunting now that I actually needed one. I needed a multi-pack for confirmation, in case the first one didn't work, or I didn't believe the answer. Having a backup was always a good idea.

I closed my eyes and grabbed a box. I peeked to make sure I didn't accidentally grab a fertility test. The boxes looked almost identical. With my test in hand, I hit the checkout. On the drive home I picked up fast food, and practically inhaled my fries in an epic fit of stress eating.

What was I going to do if the test was positive? I had to be honest with myself, I would probably cry. The idea of getting pregnant by Grant wasn't horrible. But I really didn't want to be pregnant, not yet.

Mom wasn't by the dock when I got home. Assuming she was napping I decided to use the downstairs bathroom so that banging around in the bathroom next to her bedroom wouldn't wake her. I did both tests out of the box right away.

The wait for my test results was a very long, very stressful five minutes. At that time, I convinced myself this was a waste of time, money, and energy. I couldn't possibly be pregnant. I also created an entire life and future with Grant and our little bundle of surprise in the same time frame. Was I going to be relieved or sad? Shocked or did I know that's what the tests would say?

The nerves in my stomach clenched and held on tight as it was time to look at my results. I started shaking when I saw two blue lines on each stick. The lines were strong and dark. It felt like they were telling me I was very pregnant.

I didn't know what to do. I stared at those lines for the longest time, accepting, not believing, thinking this was a bad dream, thinking it was a wonderful dream. I hit every emotion from panic to despair to elation and everything in between, and emotions I didn't have names for.

My stomach roiled, and for a second, I thought I was feeling the baby when I realized I was probably making myself sick from the roller coaster ride I was subjecting my emotions to.

I covered my mouth with my hand and started to giggle. I was going to be a mother. Me. Grant had given me a little miracle. I needed to tell him. Oh God, no I couldn't tell him. Not yet.

I couldn't tell my mom.

Wrapping both tests in too much toilet paper I shoved them down in the trash can. I stared at the trash for a long minute and then pulled them both out. For some weird reason, I thought I should keep one to put in a baby book or something. Maybe as a gift to Grant. Maybe, I wasn't thinking clearly because pulling things out of the garbage was weird and gross.

I wrapped one test in clean toilet paper and shoved it into my pocket for keeping. I threw the other one away, hiding it carefully. I scrubbed my hands in hot water and then quietly climbed upstairs, stepping over the third one from the top because it squeaked. In my room, I tucked the positive test into the back of my undie's drawer for safekeeping.

I tip-toed my way back downstairs and out to the dock. Once there I frantically texted Vivica.

"Can you call me? Big news."

I stared at the phone waiting for it to ring.

When Sinatra's I did It My Way sounded out- Vivica's ringtone- I answered and had my phone on my ear in seconds.

Before I could even say anything, Vivica was saying, "Don't tell me you're pregnant."

I couldn't speak. How the fuck did she know?

"Mandy? What's wrong? I was joking."

"No Vivica, I don't think you were," I managed to say around a hard dry lump in my throat.

"Excuse you what?"

"I just took one of those pee on the stick pregnancy tests, and it says I'm pregnant. I'm really pregnant. It's like that hygienist cursed me, or something." I paced back and forth up and down the short dock. "You sound kind of shocked. Are you okay?"

I was in shock, that was the only explanation. "I don't know Vivica. I mean on the one hand; I'm thrilled to be pregnant before I'm thirty. Life goals and all that. But on the other hand, I got myself knocked up." "Have you told him yet?"

"Vivica, I like, just peed on the thing a few minutes ago, you are the first person I'm telling. Oh shit, I have to tell Grant. How the hell do I do that?"

"You open your mouth and let the words fall out. Mandy, I can't believe it, you're the one who got the surprise baby package and not me. I'm the irresponsible one, remember?"

I didn't know if Vivica was irresponsible or not. She certainly took more risks, snuck out of her house, and fooled around more than I ever did. I kicked my sandals off and sat on the side of the dock, kicking my feet back and forth in the water.

"What am I going to do if I tell him, and he thinks I'm trying to trap him? I don't want him to think I'm some kind of gold-digger."

"Well, how does he feel about you? You don't have to tell me you've already fallen for him. I mean, I saw that coming a mile away."

"He likes me, I mean he really likes me. He gave me a piece of rice with my name on it."

"Oh that is high-class emotional attachment there," she mocked.

"Shut up. It was sweet. We stopped at a little craft fair, and he got me a gift because I was admiring the artist's skill."

"Okay, so we have Mr. Rich stopping at a craft fair with you and then he gets you a cheesy little trinket because it was going to make you happy? I've got that right?"

"And he ate corn dogs with me," I said.

"Corn dogs? Damn, that's love girl. Mandy, I think he's into you. He could be almost anyone, I mean even I have to admit he's hot. And he was smart enough to focus in on you. And you haven't scared him off. None of these are red flags. Look, how pregnant are you? Like are you super pregnant and starting to show, or did you just have sex ten minutes ago?"

"That's not how it works, Vivica," I muttered.

"I'm aware of how it works, Mandy. The point is you just found out. You have been pregnant for all of a couple of weeks tops at this point. You have some time. You can figure out when the best time is to tell him. Gauge his mood, that kind of stuff. Maybe when he starts talking about fall and winter plans with you, that would be perfect timing."

I moaned. Grant never talked about anything further away than tomorrow. I didn't even know when he was planning on heading back to Chicago.