Alpha Billionaire Series
Loving the One I Should Hate Chapter 28

GRANT

I stared out over the lake. I seemed to be doing it far more often than during my simple morning ritual. Any time my thoughts turned to Mandy, which they did multiple times a day, I found myself looking out past the city, past the water, and into the horizon.

"So, what are you going to do?" Dylan asked.

He had been silent for so long I almost forgot he was there. Ever since Vivica had come crashing into my office the day before, I couldn't stop thinking about Mandy, about how the foundations of her family were crumbling, and I was the one clinically excavating the dirt out from under them. "I really wanted MiMa Play's product line," I said.

"I know."

"You warned me about all of this." Dylan was my friend and my advisor, and I hadn't listened to him at all, in either capacity.

"I did."

"Aren't you going to hit me with an I told you so?" I asked.

"What good would that do?"

He was right, what was the point of gloating when I was kicking myself hard enough.

"You were thinking with business precision. You didn't take emotional connections into it at all," Dylan pointed out.

"I never do."

"Right, but you also haven't been in love with the owners or stockholders when you've taken over other companies." "You mean I was in love," I corrected him.

He scoffed.

I turned to glance at him over my shoulder.

"What was that?" I asked. "It's over between us. Has been for months. She made that very clear the last time I saw her."

"You are still in love. Grant, you're a fucking mess, and I say this as your friend. You've been so obviously pining away for this woman. Tell me I'm wrong," he started. "You're wrong," I interrupted.

"Very funny. But the last time you saw her you memorized every detail of her face, didn't you? You can pull up the perfect image of her just by closing your eyes."

I let out a heavy breath. "That obvious?"

"To those of us that know you, yes. I think you overcompensated in the opposite direction, and that's why you've been coming across as cold-blooded as you have when dealing with MiMa Play."

"What am I supposed to do?" For the first time since I was a little boy, I felt lost. I didn't know what to do. I had always been able to identify a goal and go get it. This was the first time I wasn't able to get what I wanted simply from hard work and perseverance. Mandy wasn't some prize to be won at the culmination of assigned tasks, and yet, that's exactly how I had been treating her and my acquisition of MiMa Play.

"What do you want to do, really? And I mean you, Grant, not the businessman in your suit. You're looking out at that water like the answers are floating above Lake Michigan and if you're lucky you'll catch a glimpse, or a sign telling you exactly what to do." I laughed. "Exactly, I think, maybe there will be words floating in the wisps of mist above the water. Or flying birds forming words. I don't know."

"Maybe you should become an augur so you can detect the mystic messages in the movement of birds?" He laughed.

"I have as good of a chance at replaceing out what I should do that was as good as any." I let my shoulders roll forward into a slump. I crossed the office and sat across from Dylan.

"What I want to do is go back in time and tell Mandy not to worry about the loan. I'd help her replace a way of getting her family's business up and running and successful. Let them get back on their feet, and then work out a repayment plan." "Why didn't you do that when you found out who she was?"

I let out a wry laugh. "Pride, ego, arrogance, ignorance. I was an asshole. As you said I doubled down and became more cutthroat and less empathetic."

"If you love her, you can make this all stop."

"She won't talk to me," I pointed out.

"Man, Vivica was right, you have some kind of blind spot to seeing around this issue because Mandy is in the middle of it."

I nodded. He was right. Mandy's presence changed everything.

"Why don't you just go to her, explain everything?"

I shook my head. "I've done too much damage."

"Bullshit. If you really are still in love with the girl, then tell her. Start there. Then you can figure out the rest of it later."

"You make it sound so easy," I said.

Dylan stood. "It is easy, Grant. You are just getting in your own way. I'm going to get a coffee, you want something?"

"No, I'm good." I already had two cups today, and I was anything but good.

Dylan left and I sat brooding in my chair. If I went to Mandy and said I loved her, asked her to take me back, what would she do? I could see the wine, in slow motion, sloshing out of the glass and heading toward my chest.

I tried the scenario again. If I said I forgave her, that I understood why she got angry I deserved the slap in the face I imagined her giving me. I rubbed the side of my cheek against the imaginary slap. I had no way to protect myself against her retaliation, imaginary or not, I still felt the sting of her lashing out against me.

I had to let go of MiMa Play. I would have to replace another product line to launch into the European market with. Maybe it was athletic wear? We had tried that once; it had not been a success. What about safety wear? Googles, shin guards, elbow guards. This had potential.

I stood and crossed to my desk. I pulled out the folio where I jotted down my notes. I had once written MiMa Play was mine on a page. I flipped back until I found that page and ripped it out. I crumbled it into a ball and threw it away. MiMa Play was the past. I needed to let marketing know to stop work on the joint branding effort. I should let the accounting department know that I changed the terms of the loan, and do not expect repayment any time soon.

I needed to get the proverbial ducks in a row now that the MiMa Play acquisition was not happening.

I pressed the call button for Mina.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Can you get Dylan back in here? I think he went for some coffee. I want to see him when he gets back."

"Sure thing."

"Can you connect me to Jake in Marketing?" I held while Mina connected the call.

"Grant! What has you calling?" Jake sounded chipper, yet wary.

I was knocking off calls from my list when Dylan stepped back in about an hour later. I waved him back to the chairs. I ended the call.

"I have a new project for you," I announced.

His eyebrows went up. "Oh really?"

"Athletic protective gear. What's the market like? What are European regulations?"

"You want to get into helmets and goggles?"

I shook my head. "Maybe. I was thinking about shin guards, elbow pads, jock cups."

"What the hell?"

"After you left, I kept running scenario after scenario of how I could tell Mandy I'll change the terms on the loan, or that I understood her anger, all of that. And in every single instance, she smacked me, kicked me, or kneed me. Every single form of abuse was well deserved, but I couldn't protect myself. It inspired me. Instead of equipment for kids, what about protective gear."

Dylan frowned and shrugged. "Okay, I'll get a few groups on it, see what we come up with. Are you looking at acquiring or producing from scratch?"

"Let's start with feasibility first."

We both looked up when Mina knocked on the door and then stepped in. She very carefully closed the door, and stood next to it, instead of striding into the office as she typically did.

"Grant, I don't mean to butt in. I know you know I can hear more than half of everything, and I never say a word. It's not my place. But I can't let this one go. And I've spent a good hour thinking about it, and if you fire me, maybe that's for the best."

I couldn't even think about what she could be talking about. Maybe she knew something about protective gear.

"What is it, Mina? I'm not going to fire you. I value your insights."

"Good, cause my insights are gonna slap you across that handsome face of yours."

I was stunned. "What?"

"You are a God-damned idiot Grant Carpenter. The woman you are in love with is struggling and you can't see past your own hurt feelings to go and help her. She needs you to take care of her. She doesn't need loan repayment plans, she needs you! How hard is it for you to see that you just need to go to her and tell her you love her and beg her to forgive you?"

"She's the one-"

"Shut it!" Mina snapped all the fingers of her hand together, motioning me to close my mouth. "It doesn't matter if she did anything. You need to go put on your suit of shining armor and be her rescuing knight. You need to go and prostrate yourself at her feet. Grant, you are in a position to just cancel the damned loan her father took out to save her mother. Go save her mother for her again. Help Mandy pay the hospital bill, take her dinner, rub her back. Sit with her mother all night so she can sleep in a real bed. Go be present. If she pushes, stand firm and give her something to push against. My God, that poor woman had had to deal with her father dying, her mother being sick, and you being a big stupid baby, putting this company before your feelings. If you love her, show her." Dylan stood and began a slow clap. "About fucking time someone put it on the table. Well done, Mina. If this asshole lets you go, I'll hire you."

"I'm not letting Mina go," I said. "Finally, someone not afraid to tell me what to do, she gets a raise." I ran my hands through my hair. "You're right, I need a car."

"I'm on it." Mina was out of my office in a flash. I didn't know if she was eager to get back to normal or to escape the tense moment of telling me off.

I took two steps to follow her out. I stopped. "I don't know how to replace her. She'll be at her office, right?" I felt out of my depth, it was an unsettling feeling.

"Didn't you listen to a word Vivica said yesterday? Mandy has been spending every moment at the hospital with her mother. She sleeps in those awful recliners, refusing to leave her mother's side. It can't be comfortable being pregnant and all," Dylan said. "I need you to replace out what hospital she's in. Vivica must know... What did you just say? Who's pregnant?" I couldn't have heard him properly.

"Mandy's pregnant." Dylan stared at me for a long moment, shaking his head. "Mandy never told you? I thought you knew. I only knew because Vivica spoke so openly about it. It never occurred to me that it might be a secret."