Alpha Black
Chapter 8 - Facing Reality

Alice Forrest

My eyes fluttered open, the curtains fluttered lightly in the fresh morning breeze and patterns and shapes of sunlight danced across the room. As I began to roll over, I began quickly aware of the strong arms that I was encased in, one over my waist and the other under my pillow, the met in the middle like an iron cage in front of me.

I felt his heartbeat steadily increase as he woke from my movement and his arms tightened, keeping me on my side and as the little spoon. He inhaled deeply, it was as if he had fallen asleep kissing the top of my head, as I felt his lips press into my crown and his warm breath blow through my hair.

How could anyone deny this feeling? Electricity shot through my body as he adjusted his arms, one arm now falling to my shoulder and the other pulling my own naked body hard against his. As my back collided with his torso, the light sparks of electricity transformed into a powerful sensation that encased my entire body, causing the constant butterflies in my stomach, into knots.

“Good morning,” he murmured, as he nestled his face further into my hair.

“Good morning,” I replied conflicted and torn.

I knew that he was awake, I could feel the pounding in his chest louder now, yet I felt like he pretended to be asleep, not wanting to loosen the embrace, to let me go. Finding myself empathising, I let my eyes close and my mind wander. The more time I spent with him, the stronger the mate bond grew between us and for the first time in my life my wolf howled with happiness inside me.

How could anyone reject their mate? How could anyone want to hurt their mate, especially when this is how it felt to be in their embrace. The more I soaked up this overwhelming feeling, the more I realised how unhappy I had been with Tom, my ex-boyfriend.

Slowly our heartbeats slowed and I felt us both slip back into the warm embrace of sleep.

* * * * * * * * * *

This time my eyes snapped open and I woke to the sound of my phone buzzing as a call ran through. Sitting up quickly I answered the call from my research supervisor. I bubbled with excitement as I realised what this was the call I had been waiting for, to replace out if my PHD research proposal was going to be accepted.

“Hi Paul, how are you going?” I asked, turning to see that my bed was empty. Nathaniel had worked his was out of bed and I could hear him in the shower.

“I’m going great Alice, do you know why I’m doing great?” he said, and I could here the happiness in his voice.

“No, don’t tell me,” I laughed, and a I felt a huge grin splitting over my face, ear to ear.

“That’s right,” he said in a very ‘matter-of-fact’ tone, “they loved your proposition, every single little thing about it. They’ve put you down on the list for a twelve month contract and then assume that all goes well they’ll offer you a teaching position.”

“Oh my gosh,” I said in shock, covering my mouth as I tried to contain the utter bliss.

“That’s not all,” Paul said, and I could almost see the lopsided grin on his face, “they loved the work you’ve done over the last couple of years, they think that they could apply for both government and private grants because of your proposal.”

“No,” I said shaking my head, it was like a dream come true.

At this point, Nathaniel walked out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but one of my light, fluffy towels around his waist. His tanned upper body and legs seemed to glisten as he walked from the steamy bathroom. His black hair had been combed back messily with his fingers and some water tricked down his neck and back.

I wasn’t going to be able to accept the position that I wanted so badly, that I had worked so hard for. I tried to swallow the lump forming in my throat, but the overwhelming realisation of reality hit me, I had to decline this job. There was no way I was going to be able to stay in Portland.

Nathaniel cocked his head to one side, leaning on the doorframe to the walk in robe, he watched me and his powerful green eyes watching me precariously.

Paul had began to ramble on about the position, my research and the university, “Paul,” I choaked out softly. But he didn’t seem to hear me and continued in sharing the excitement that had filled me not that long ago.

“Paul,” I said again, this time with more conviction.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know if I’m going to be able to accept the position,” I said, the worlds like sand in my mouth and I felt the overwhelming sadness begin to wash over me.

Something behind Nathaniel’s eyes clicked, and his distant and controlling demeaner that he projected changed instantly. He sat down on the bed, giving me a weak smiled he caressed my knee, trying to support me.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard that right?” Paul said in shock.

“I can’t accept the position,” I reaffirmed, tears starting to pool in my eyes. Looking at the ceiling and away from Nathaniel’s intense gaze, I blinked several times, trying to blink away the tears.

“No, you’re fucking with me,” he said in disbelief. “You were, you are, the most promising PHD student application we have, even Garret couldn’t argue against your work and proposal. Which we both know is saying something because he is a badger when it comes to women working for the University,” he said trailing off.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, or can’t,” I said sniffling and dropping my eyes to meet Nathaniel’s gaze, “it’s something else.”

At this moment Nathaniel seemed to realise what he was asking me to do, the sadness that it was causing me to leave my own life behind and follow him. Leaving everything I had worked so hard to create for myself, for a man. How misogynistic. He shuffled me over slightly, sitting next to me Nathaniel wrapped his arms around me, his hot damp skin pressing to my own and he planted his lips on my head.

“Is it money?” Paul asked, trying to replace a justification for my change of mind, “We can help you Alice, I can help you. We can get you an advanced payment, we can look into scholarships, we can get you a company car,” he said grasping at straw.

“It’s not money, Paul,” I said with dry laugh, “it’s to do with, um, my personal life,” I answered, leaning my head into Nathaniel’s embrace as he swept away some of the tears that had begun to roll down my face.

“You found him,” Paul said softly, his attitude changing suddenly, “you found your mate, didn’t you?”.

I opened my mouth, but I didn’t have anything to say, I wasn’t sure how to reply. Paul was 100% human, through and through, but he was a very smart man and had known, or at least suspected, for some time that werewolves and other supernatural creatures didn’t just exist in fairy tales and legends. We had never talked about it, we never needed to - we both came from different walks of life, but none the less we were still friends. That’s all there had been to it.

“Where dose he live?” Paul asked, ending the silence that I left hanging in the air.

“East Coast.”

“And I suppose rejecting him isn’t on the table,” Paul asked letting out a sigh, “I feel like it’s wouldn’t be as easy at that, I feel like there would be consequences for those actions,” he rambled.

I didn’t need to be looking at Nathaniel’s eyes to know that they had turned black at Paul’s words. I could feel the anger and resentment coursing through him directed at the person on the other end of the phone, he pulled me closer and held me tighter.

I shook my head, “it’s a lot harder than just saying words,” I replied. “It’s hard to reject something that feels so-” I paused to think about my words, how did I feel about Nathaniel being my mate? How did he make me feel? “-so right,” I finally said.

“I don’t think I could every give it up,” I admitted, “Your mate is your God-given soulmate, they’re designed for you and you for them. Their touch, their smell, the way their wired to love you unconditionally, it’s something you can’t live without once you’ve experienced it.” I said, unsure who I was admitting these things to.

Paul exhaled, clearly he had been holding his breath unknowingly, “and you can’t make him stay here in Portland?”

“He’s,-” I started but stopped, how do you tell a human about Alpha’s that someone is born to be in charge of others, and that there is a biological element within you that not only makes you want to obey them, but have to. “He’s in a position that he can’t step down from, he’s a very powerful person who ought not be meddled with.”

I rubbed my face with my free hand, attempting to wipe away the tears that had continued to silently roll down my face, staining my eyes and cheeks as they did so.

“I won’t pretend to understand, Alice,” Paul said with a sigh. “Have a think about it, I’ll delay the paperwork, but for heaven’s sake, let me know if there is anything you need, anything at all.”

“Thank you, Paul,” I said, and I ended the call.

“Good girl,” Nathaniel said his voice purring and I could feel the happiness radiating from him as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to his chest, embracing me tightly. I was unsure if he was trying to comfort me, or please himself.

Despite the electricity that coursed through me as a result of Nathaniel’s touch, I felt dead on the inside, like an empty shell. I stayed in his warm embrace, afraid that when I left it the pain would spread and engulf me. I could tell me enjoyed holding me in his arms, running his fingers through my hair, inhaling my scent, if he was in wolf form I’m sure his tail would have wagged like an energetic little puppy.

Finally feeling overwhelmed, I removed myself from the bed “I need a shower,” I explained to Nathaniel. He nodded as I walked through the walk in robe to the bathroom and I felt his gaze watching my very naked body, but I didn’t really care or mind. He’d seen it last night, and Friday night. And I was sure he’d be seeing it again in the future.

The thought brought a blush to my cheeks and I inspected my naked body in the mirror, the ruminates of Friday night still clung to my skin, now a deep red, the hickey on my neck was still prominent, but the bruises had all but disappeared. I was thankful that last night had not resulted in any more marks of passion, yet the hickey continued to plague my mind as it sat where he would mark me.

It was almost as if he had left it their intentionally.