Alpha Zander
Chapter 39

I stood in front of Grace, completely stunned as she said she was pregnant. All I want to do right now is beg for my mate’s forgiveness. I try not to look at her, but I can feel her hurt through Jace. Since Jace and Kia have mated, our bond has gotten stronger. All we needed to do to complete the bond was mark each other, allowing us to link and her be a part of my pack. Our scents will also combine so everyone would know she is mine and I am hers.

But I hurt her again. And it makes me feel even more of an a-ss who isn’t worthy of being her mate. Jace is fuming, angry that I hurt her again. For once though he is silent in the depth of my mind, I can feel his anger and pain radiating through me. It made me wonder if he would ever speak to me again if this were the final straw.

Then suddenly, while l’m processing everything, Ashleigh leaves. She walks away without even saying anything at all, without looking back at me. I look over and see Oliver watching his cousin in confusion. I wondered if he felt her pain.

Guilt consumed me. I was so confused. I was always careful and wore protection, and Grace said she was on the pill. Thankfully these days, they have changed a bit of medication to accommodate for supernaturals, so the balance worked out.

Even so, I didn’t blame my mate for leaving me with this confusing mess. I stood there for a good 10 minutes in silence. Oliver chuckled again before leaving and returning to the party, leaving me alone with Grace and Anni.

I wondered if he knew what I had done to Ashleigh. I’m sure if he did, he wouldn’t be laughing. Instead, I would have his fist planted in my face.

“Anni give us a minute” I said, looking at her friend standing behind her.

“Ohh, now you want privacy?” Grace shrieked, throwing her hands up in a huff.

“Calm the f**k down, Grace. Do not speak to me like that.” I growled, yanking her hands back down so she didn’t draw attention. I can feel Jace push forward as I give the command. She pales and hangs her head in submission.

Finally, some f*****g quiet where I can think.

I looked back to Anni, still standing there, and raised an eyebrow. She quickly gets the hit and scampers of.

“How long have you known?” I hiss.

“Nearly a week’ she whispers.

“And during that week, you didn’t think to try and contact me to sort this s**t out!”

“I tried to. You must have blocked me.I tried calling and texting, but you didn’t return anything” She says, crying.

I rolled my eyes at her exaggeration. Yes, I may have been a little busy and preoccupied with Ashleigh. But if she outright said she was pregnant in a message, I wouldn’t have ignored that.

Jace paces in the back of my mind. His anger bubbles to the surface every now and then. It was putting me on edge. I may have just lost my mate, and now l have to deal with this b***h. Which I don’t want to.

I pinch my thúmb and index finger on the bridge of my nose, trying to concentrate and figure this s**t out, where to go from here. Firstly she shouldn’t be anywhere near alcohol or drugs around here. Anger rose again, pissed off that she would be dangering the pup by coming here. Secondly, she wouldn’t be able to live in her apartment by herself, so she would have to move into the pack house, which makes me even more f*****g furious because don’t want her anywhere near me.

I needed to speak to Ashleigh. I don’t know what the f**k I’m going to say. But with Jace being the way he is, he won’t calm down until he is close to her again. At least he hasn’t said anything to make me feel even worse than I already am. Maybe he is just trying to let me think and figure this out before giving me a lecture on how much I failed my mate again cause l just wanted to f**k around.

The look on her face, she was utterly devastated.

Granted, no one else knew why but I did. How the f**k am I supposed to face her now. What the f**k am I supposed to say to her. l’m sorry; won’t just cut this time. She nearly tried to reject me when the twins were all over me before. Will she try to do the same again? My mind is spinning with all of these problems. Why the f*”k couldn’t this be simple.

f**k this s**t. I need a drink.

“Go home, Grace,” I grumble, waving down the bartender again, getting ready for another drink.

“Wait, what?” Her eyes snap back up to meet mine.

“Go home and start packing. You will have to move into the pack house. I’ll book an appointment with the doctor as soon as possible.!”

Her eyes widen as I mention her moving into the pack house. “Why do I have to move in?” she asks.

Jeez, how stupid can this girl be? I sigh, scrubbing a hand over my face, frustrated I have to explain. “Well, you can’t do this alone, can you?” I mumble, my hand waving towards her.

A sickening feeling pounded in the pit of my stomach. I wanted pups, but I wanted them later on with my mate. I close my eyes, trying to think clearly. What about Ashleigh?

How the hell was I going to talk to her about all of this? What was I going to tell my father? Will Ashleigh still accept me after this? Will she still love me unconditionally? It seems Jace is fed up with me already. Would she be too?

“Ok, I’ll get Anni to drive me back” Grace said, turned around, and started walking back towards the house in search of Anni.

“What can I get you,” the bartender asked.

“More shots, It’s been a long f*****g night.”

For the next few hours, I drink myself stupid by the time the crowd has thinned out. I can barely walk and sort of talk, the lightbulb still flickering in the back of my mind, so I somewhat know what I am doing. I haven’t seen Ashleigh since she left. Oliver is still around. He’s been keeping an eye on me, looking for me every fifteen minutes, the paranoid fvckwhit.

I have too much s**t on my mind to worry about than do something stupid tonight.

Danni and the boys are still around, probably trying to get their d***s wet.

It’s about 2 am when I feel my phone buzz in my back pocket. Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t got a call from my father or Beta demanding l get home and clean up my mess.

My heart stops in my chest for a second when I see the message from Ashleigh.

“At our place if you want to talk.*

I stare at the phone, re-reading it for about the fifth time before it registers. I close my eyes taking a deep breath before trying to get my s**t together, deciding whether I should go and see her. Jace doesn’t say a thing. He hasn’t said anything to me since Ashelgih left. I begged him once or twice to try to talk to me. Instead, I was met with a glare and filled with his pure anger.

Sighing, I put my phone back in my pocket and searched for Danni and the boys before heading off.

I found them by the fire pit with a few very drunken-looking girls. One was a little shaky, leaning on Billy, and the other was trying to get her balance on Danni.

“Yo, I’m heading out,” I say, grasping a hand on Danni’s shoulder to grab his attention.

“Leaving alone?” Eric snickers. I flick him the bird as I turn around and walk towards the house. I see Oliver sitting on the lounge in the living room with a few girls as I head towards the door. Sighing, I should probably thank him and let him know the guys are still around.

I make my way toward him. He lifts his head and nods.

“I ‘m headed out. Is it alright if the guys still hang out for a bit longer? Danni is still here. Once he clears out, the rest of my pack will follow,” I say, folding my arms across my chest, trying to compose myself so I don’t look so f****d.

Oliver frowns and nods, “Yeah, no worries, they know the rules. As long as no one does anything stupid, they are fine.”

I nod back, “Yeah, all good. Thanks for the invite, appreciate it.” I grind out. He and I have never seen eye to eye, but right now, I’m already in a hot mess with my mate. I don’t need to make things worse with her Alpha.

I turn around and head out the door. Stripping down to my briefs, I phase into Jace. Thankfully he didn’t put up much of a fight. Knowing where we were going seemed to have calmed him down a little.

It takes me about 40 minutes to run there, 40 minutes to ponder my mind about what to say to Ashleigh. Each time I re-think things, I come out blank. I see the light in the bedroom flicker on as I reach the house. I wait in the woods behind the trees out of sight as I watch her move across the bedroom to the little window seat. She’s wearing one of my shirts I left there last time, my heart pounding as I watch my mate sitting there waiting for me looking out to the night sky.

What was I going to say when I walked through that door? What would I say to the woman who forgave me after everything l had done? Will she forgive me for this mistake?

Will she be ok with another woman being in the house with us? Will she be ok with another woman having my child?

My mind cleared after the run, not as foggy as it used to be, which probably isn’t the best thing right now because now I can think, and I’m thinking I made the wrong f*****g choice in coming here to see her. I don’t want to give her the chance to reject me. She freaked out at what happened at school only a few days ago. I can honestly say I am not looking forward to this fight, or discussion, or argument, or whatever the f**k it will be. I gain the majority control over our form and start backing out, slowly taking each step backwoods away from her, away from my mate.

‘Don’t,’ Jace growls.

All night he has listened to my turmoil and problems, and he f*****g chooses now to say something.

“If you leave her now, I will never forgive you. She is here, still waiting for you.’ Jace tries to reason with me.

Unfortunately, my mind is so chaotic with the last couple of hours going over and over that I don’t even hear him anymore.

‘I can’t allow her to reject us. We won’t survive that I mumble. At least if I don’t give her the chance to be able to reject me, she will have to be still bonded to me.

I do the one thing I have always been good at in these situations: I turn and run, run away from everything.