Alphande'
No Light, No Rain

There was a soft thud on the stony floor that pulled me on my already painful sleep. Crumpled on the ground was what I thought at first to be a sac of cloth but as I looked more carefully I saw the tangled mess of dark hair that fell carelessly over an oval face of olive skin and full lips.

“Noräin!” I said as I recognised her immediately as her face and form had haunted me in my dreams. I turned her unto my lap and I brushed away her wild hair from her face. “By Avandor, what have they done to you?” I whispered appalled. As the smooth olive skin that masked her face had deep blotches of purple along her cheeks and neck and I could see the wheals continuing under her robe. She was unconscious but I put my ears to her chest and listened. Her heart was still beating, slowly but steadily.

Against the protests of the lashes lining my entire upper body, I lifted her from the floor and rested her on the mottled hay that I had made my bed. I watched her quietly, stroking softly the curves of her face as that was all I could do now until she recovered from whatever injuries that had made her silent.

“This is my fault I suppose. The Nuwanhe, I wanted to burn from the inside out as I saw no good in it. I was wrong and I have never been more wrong.

“It was never my intention to harm you. You were enchanting and I was yours from the first time I saw you. If truth be told, that was more than half the reason I wanted to want to claim you. Sebán and Rá Leat were merely added boons.

“If I could only take back some of what I had done, I would. I cannot say that I regret getting rid of Evander as he would stand in the way of all I truly wanted. So many innocent I had slain needlessly. I do deserve my fate, but I cannot regret it totally as it brought me to you.

“I was never the one to pity invalids, I scorned them immensely. Yet here I am, confessing my sins to you of all people. One who would hate me if only she knew who I really was.”

I stopped stroking her face and put her head down. What the hell was I doing? This tenderness and care, I couldn’t do it. This would only get me into trouble and laden me with baggage I didn’t want if I planned to make an exit. I would have to keep a closer check of myself next time. I was about to put her back on the floor, but there was a peace emanating from it which made me want to stoke her face once more. “Damn it,” I cursed myself, pulling away my hand. Why was I acting like I was in love with this woman for Avandor’s sake. As that would be totally preposterous. What amount of love could I possibly hold for a blind, hence incomplete woman? I was better than that.

“Preposterous.” I whispered angrily to myself and turned away from Noräin even though I remained seated beside her.

“What is preposterous?” I heard her mumble behind me. I turned to face her immediately. I was flooded with immense relief it was almost giddying the way I felt.

“You misheard me.” I lied.

“I am blind, but not deaf. In fact my hearing is perfect.” she said trying to push herself up from the bed. Her efforts were useless and I had to steady her against my chest for her to remain upright. My wounds protested but I ignored the pain.

“What exactly did you hear then?” I asked nervously.

“Just that last line.” she whispered.

I inhaled deeply and changed the topic immediately. “How is it that you are here Noräin? Where are Bastian, Andreas, Sonis?”

She sat up her eyes staring at the blank wall. “They are all gone, the Nuwanhe is dead.” she told me of the feldünstar and Bastian’s betrayal. I knew there was a reason that I didn’t take to him immediately.

“But your face, the scars these are new. What happened when you were brought to him? Did he do this to you?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said “and this wasn’t the first time he has done so.” I could feel the anger shaking in my limbs as I watched silent tears streaking down her face. She placed her arms on mine and steadied the trembling. “No worries Van, I did make him pay for what he had done.” she said suddenly and fiercely.

“What did you do?” her face reddened slightly but her voice was still steady.

“I ensured that he would never have an heir to place on the throne of Rá Leat.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you accomplish that?”

She smiled slightly. “Have you ever heard of the burn?”

The gruesome instruments I heard of women placing in their softer parts that would maim a man irreparably was spoken of among some of the men I spoke with but I never thought the stories true.

“So you mean to tell me that Bastian has no…?”

“He raped me and beat me once; it was never going to happen again. He has not even a stump left. I left him bleeding on the floor.”

I shuddered once and my hands moved automatically to cover my own groin as I had only begun to imagine the pain.

“He had his men beat me and then they dropped me here afterwards. Honestly I don’t think I felt the pain as I revelled in my victory.”

“A painful victory regardless.” I said as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders bringing her closer to me, which was the natural thing to do if I was to carry on this Evander charade.

“I am sorry, this is my fault. I trusted Margaret and she did this. There are so many things I wish I could undo. I have failed you all. Your suffering all rests on my shoulder and I will never be able to repair the past, but I promise you that I will try my best to change what I can of the future.”

“You are not to take all the blame. It isn’t like you could have seen what was coming,” she paused “except that you could…?” she lifted her head from my shoulder and propped herself up on a single arm. “Why is that Evander? You have the gift of foresight. Curly said that you saw bad things before it happened? How could you have not seen this?”

I stiffened immediately thinking whether or not I wanted to tell her the truth. There was not much further I could sink at this point. I took my arm from around her shoulder a sat slightly away from her. “I have made a huge mistake or many mistakes, mainly because I was misinformed. It was never my intention to lead you on. Well that is a lie. It was my full intention to do so.” I stopped and took in a deep breath as I could see the hurt and confusion that flickered on her face. Tact was never my strongest suit so I got straight to the point. “I am not Evander. I look like him, speak like him but I am not him.”

“What do you mean?” even though they saw naught, her eyes searched my face.

“I mean, on the day of the battle of the Catacombs Evander never returned to the camp.”

“That is absurd. If you didn’t return who did?”

“I am Gareth, more rightly Ivaner his twin. I had beaten Evander and I sent him to Envladane. Whether he lives or is dead, I cannot tell, but it is unlikely that he is alive.” I felt a huge weight being lifted from my shoulders. Finally I could be me again, no rouse or disguise. I was forever done with pretending. The feeling of relief left me a bit lightheaded.

That was until her hands splayed painfully against my cheek. She raised her hands to hit me again but I stopped her. She suddenly sprung at me pushing me to the floor. The needles of hay made their way under the bandages irritating the cuts. I managed to hold her off trapping her wrists in my hand.

“Noräin stop!” I said as she started kicking. “Stop!” I said as I turned her over unto the hay and lay on top of her. She eventually stopped moving and when she did, silent tears feel down her face. “I am sorry.”

“No you are not.”

“That is true, I am not completely sorry. That was partly Evander’s fault as he should have run when he had the chance, so part of the blame extends to him.” I amended.

“You are such an…” she started.

“Children, children such behaviour is hardly appropriate.” said Asher coming in. “I could step out if you wish to continue, by no means let me disturb you. But Evander you should know what she did with her husband only a few minutes ago. Grizzly way to go.” he said sitting on a chair aptly provided by a guard. “And from the lashes that you received only two days now, I would think you wouldn’t have the— stamina. But it seems that I am wrong.” His lips tilted into a smirk.

I checked the way I hung over her could be construed as something else and rolled off letting her hands go.

“It is not what you think and she knows that I am not Evander.” I said sitting up to face him. Noräin was struggling to get up so I pulled her up. She brushed my hands off.

“So it was a fight then, I am sorry I missed the beginning.” he crossed his legs and sank lower in the chair.

“What is that you want?” I asked.

“You already know what I want.”

“And my answer is still the same. I do not know where the stone is.”

“That is unfortunate.” he raised his hands slightly and waved. Two of his guards stepped forward one held a length of rope and the other the cat-o-nine. “Fifty lashes might not have broken you Gareth, but I wonder how Noräin would react to the same, seeing that she is already so frail.”

“I doubt she knows anything. So go right ahead and do what you must but it will achieve nothing.” I said calmly.

“So you are telling me that you don’t care if I beat her to death in front of you.”

“No,” I said hoping that he wouldn’t catch on to my bluff. She meant nothing to me but I didn’t want her dead.

“Is that so?” he said raising an eyebrow. “Ok carry on.” He said waving the man with the whip forward.

“You stay the hell away from her.” I said putting my arms out defensively. “She doesn’t know anything.” I said upset that he had seen through my bluff. “I do not know where the stone is either.”

“And I say you do, you just need the right motivation to tell me the truth.” he waved his men forward and I rose to meet them. “You are strong Gareth but let us not joke.”

I surged towards the guard with the whip, punching him across the jaw. He stumbled backward and charged at me grabbing my shoulder and drove me into the closest wall. I could see the other guard grabbing Noräin and she riling up against his hold. I kicked the guard in his knee and he buckled. I forced him away and then ran towards her. My fingertips barely touched his shoulder when my feet were pulled from under me and I landed on my chest. A boot was placed between my shoulder blades. I grunted as he ground his heel into my lower back reawakening the subdued pain from my wounds

“That is one thing I like about you, and it is that you were never a screamer.” he twisted my head around so that I could see his guards tying Noräin’s wrists together and stringing her up on the ceiling. The guards then tore away the back of her dress, exposing her delicate frame down to the waist. Her smooth olive skin was disrupted by splotches of bruises some newer than others. “Now Gareth, speak before it is too late.”

“I don’t have the stone.” The guard raised the whip. “But, but I could replace it.” his boots let up from my shoulders and I rolled over onto my back.

“Find it where?”

“If I told you what would stop you from killing me and her right after?” I said sitting up.

“I don’t like playing games Gareth.” he said raising his dark brow.

“I don’t either, but I will get you your stone only if you let Noräin come with me.”

“I’d rather die than go anywhere with that imposter.” she said sharply. He turned at looked at her for a moment.

I could see the cogs turning in his head, assessing what it was to do next. That was one of the things that I had admired about him in the first place. Every one of his moves were deliberate. He always planned two outcomes that would be in his favour for every situation. I wonder what it was that he saw now as his face relaxed and his lips tilted slightly upward.

“Fine have it your way. The girl goes with you, but I will be sending along one of my guards. I wouldn’t want any one of you to get lost along the way.”

I sat upright, slowly rolling my shoulders backwards easing the tension that had built up there. “No I wouldn’t want that either.”

His smiled widened. “Rammon, will be here tomorrow morning, so you two begin your quest tonight.”

“I am not going anywhere with him.” repeated Noräin.

“Oh but you must my lady. I insist. Rammon will not be merciful in his dealings with the one who killed his son and heir to the throne of Ré Al. I would say that the choice is yours, but it is not. As you serve no purpose dead and Gareth though he pretends not to care about you, has become quite fond of you it seems.”

He smiled and I frowned as I didn’t like what he was insinuating about my supposed feelings towards Noräin. He continued, “As such he will not complete his task without you, so you must understand princess that you will be leaving with him. All your disputes you can solve along the way.” he sneered at her.

“Well this has been— pleasant, but I must leave now I am afraid. Do not disappoint me nephew.” he said with steel appearing in his eyes.

“I wouldn’t dare uncle.” I said. His lips and eyes were hard. He spun around and left the room, his guards trailing behind.

“You have no idea where to start do you?” asked Noräin.

“None at all.” I said. “You hate me right now and I am deserving of it, but I will need your help with this.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

“Because if Asher gets what he wants, no one will be able to stop him. He will become the most powerful being in Gé Addar and we cannot let that happen.” I watched a thousand emotions play over her face.

“And if we do replace what we are looking for, do you get to keep the stones and rule us all?”

“Better me than him.” I said and I saw the stern look that crept on her face as this was not the answer she wanted to hear if I was to get her help. “However,” I said beginning to amend my statements. “If we replace the stones, I won’t keep them.”

“Really?” her tone shot up in disbelief. “So what would you do with them?”

“If there is anyone of the three of us; me, you and Asher—you are the only one that has any true claim to being a monarch. If we succeed, the stones will be yours to use as you please.”

She was quiet as she seemed to be considering it. “What should I call you?”

“I don’t understand.”

“You have many names, if I am to work with you I should know who I am working with.”

“Gareth, you can call me Gareth.”

“Fine, Gareth of Tel Anir, I will accompany you on your quest, but don’t you believe for a minute that I trust you.”

“As you have enough reason not to, but I am willing to change that.”

“We will see about that.” She said stiffly.