Always Crew
Chapter 61

BREN

It took me six months to get approved, but I needed to do this in person.

It was the only way he’d be honest with me.

Once I was sitting at the table, it took a few moments for them to grab him, but it didn’t seem long enough until Drake was coming toward me.

He looked good.

And I wasn’t noticing in that way, as his ex. I was noticing it as someone who knew him, had once cared for him, and knew this would be the last time I saw him again. Or I was hoping.

He’d never been bulky, but he was lean and muscled now. The angles on his face seemed harder, more chiseled. And he just seemed tougher. I caught a few of the other prisoners glancing his way as he sat across from me, and then I noticed the tattoo on his neck.

It was the emblem for the Red Demons.

That. Right there. That told me what I came to replace out, but I’d driven all this way, waited all those months to get approved, I wanted him to say the words.

“Heya, Bren.” His eyes twinkled at me, and he grinned. “How are you? You look good.”

A small nod. A small smile. Some polite conversation.

That was fine and dandy.

Now to business. “I know what you did.”

His small grin vanished, and he leaned forward, dropping his tone. “I know. Tabatha gave me the heads-up.”

I kept lingering on that tattoo on his neck. “Is that why?” I nodded at it.

He reached up, covering the tat, and an awkward sounding chuckle slipped from him. “Why’d you make the drive if you already knew?” He frowned, his hand fell away and he cocked his head to the side. “You didn’t know, did you? You just found out.”

“I couldn’t think of why you did it because you don’t do anything unless you’re getting something out of the deal. Tabatha getting in touch with you, giving you a problem to help with? That’s not you to do it out of the goodness of your heart. So I thought about it, and I just figured—just come and ask. Maybe he’ll be honest for once.”

The corner of his mouth tugged up. “Ah. Bren. When you talk to me like that, you don’t make me want to be forthcoming at all.” He started soft, sweet, and then ended with an edge, and his eyes flat. “Jesus. At least be kind with your request?”

I mashed my lips together because what I wanted to do and what I wanted to say, I couldn’t without getting arrested myself. So I sat put and waited because a mean glint showed in Drake’s eyes and he jerked even more forward over the table. “You’re going to come here and judge me for what I did? F**k you, Bren. F**k. You. You know why I did it. I have a kid. I came in here with a target on my back already. Excuse you if I got an opportunity to help myself out, to get me some protection because that’s what I did. That was my deal with them. They got a whole group in here. You should know. You joined ’em.”

“You used me—”

“That’s your pissing point? That I told you bullshit, knowing you’d never take me on the offer? Sending someone to overhear and do the dirty work for you? I set you up to say some words. That’s it. I needed someone that made sense of why I’d be calling them. You’re my ex, that shit makes sense. And it worked. It all worked. She got a mom that’s not going to die. I’m not going to die. My kid gets a father in a few years. You got to decide not to get dirty and help your pops out, and what? That’s it.”

“Two men—”

“You don’t know anything. You got no clue if they’re dead or not. They’re just gone. That’s it, and I heard the chatter. I know it happened in front of a bunch of college kids. The other Demons filled me in. They all know you know, so you’re in this box with me. Get off your high horse and stop judging me for trying to survive because that’s all I’m doing.”

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Maybe Drake would have a soft spot with me because I loved him for a moment in my life.

Or maybe he wouldn’t, and when I walked out of here, I truly hoped to never see him.

All that said, all those conflicting thoughts and emotions, I knew what else he was saying. We were stuck where we were. I was going to keep quiet for my life, Channing’s life, Cross’, Jordan’s, Zellman’s, and anyone else affected by loving me. And for Drake, I’d focus on Drayana because he was right. He got a kid and that little girl would love and worship her dad, and I didn’t want to take the dream away from her.

“Okay.”

That was all I had.

I started to stand up.

Drake reached over, tugging me back down.

“Drake!”

He let go, holding his hand up over his head.

The guard settled back, but still frowned at us.

Drake grinned. “No touching. You can only hug kids in here. Listen, I’m going to get out of here. I cut a deal when I came in, but when I get out, I’m a Red. Forever. They have different rules for prison guys joining up, so it’s not official official. It will be. I’m telling you this so you know that you got another guy on the inside, and I’ll do what I can to look out for you. You know something on us, but I’ll vouch for you and Pops will, too. That will hold weight. I’m not saying this for any other reason except so that you know. That’s it. Contrary to your low opinion of me, I do do things sometimes for other people. I’ve loved two girls in my life and …” He motioned to me, not meeting my gaze anymore. He was looking at the floor, half-turned away from me. Then he finished, “And the other one has my eyes so there you go. Have a good life, Bren.”

He was off the seat and heading for the door before I registered what he said.

And when I did, he was through the door.

“How was it seeing Drake today?”

Cross asked me that as I slid into bed that night.

I just got back thirty minutes ago, since the drive there and back took most of the trip.

Drake’s words stayed with me, and I didn’t know how I felt about them.

But I said, “He joined the Red Demons, did everything for protection.”

Cross faltered, his head rearing up. His eyebrows arched. “He did?”

I got under the covers and something settled in me, settled in my chest.

I was home.

I don’t know why I felt it now, but it was a wave and I knew—everything would be fine.

I nodded. “He did it for Drayana and he said he’s going to look out for me when he gets out of prison and joins the Red Demons full time.”

“Hmmm.”

I was waiting, expecting.

Cross didn’t say anything.

“You’re not going to ask why?”

He looked up, meeting my gaze and there was a knowing in his gaze. It took my breath away. He said, a sad smile pulling at his mouth, “I already know why, Bren. We loved you at the same time.”

“I love you.”

Another smile, but less sad. “I know that, too. I’m the one who got you.” He leaned forward, his forehead coming to rest against mine, and he said softly, tenderly, “I’m the one you’re going to call husband. I’m the one who gets to call you wife. I’m the one who will have children with you. I’m the one who gets your forever. And he knows it. He’s always known it, just like I’ve always known it.”

Not letting me respond back, he touched under my chin and dipped his head.

His mouth found mine, and he didn’t let me speak for a long time.