Anna Grayson and The Order of Merlin
Self-Realization

Anna stepped off the school busand headed for the entrance to the Grayson driveway. There was a quick honkbehind her as she spun around waving into the air.

“See you tomorrow, Mr.Anderson.”

The rest of Anna’s day had beenrather boring. The day’s classes were very tedious and uneventful, but Anna washappy for it. She was relieved she never saw the Drummond girl in school or herfriends for that matter. In fact, Anna wasn’t sure the girls even made it offthe bus after that morning’s incident. For all she knew, Mr. Anderson mighthave offered to take them home directly, traumatized, as Veronica seemed to beat the time.

As Anna slowly made her way upthe road, she listened to the buzzing insects in the woods around her. She lovedto play a game where she tried to imagine how the day went for all thecreatures in the forest surrounding the Grayson estate.

“Hmmm… let’s see,” she said toherself, still walking up the hill, “it looks like mommy squirrel was finallyable to push her brood out of the nest in the old elm tree — well — that wasgood.” She smiled, closing her eyes as she walked. “And, yes, the frogs aredefinitely too fat and lazy to sing for us tonight; must have been a goodbug-day. Oh — and the crickets spent the day hopping about without a care inthe world.” She laughed, as visions of animated crickets with umbrellas begandancing in her head.

And then something completelyunexpected happened. Anna suddenly frowned, feeling a slight tug at herunfocused concentration. Her pace slowed and then stopped as her senses,suddenly razor-sharp, reached out into the spaces surrounding her. Her eyeswere still closed, but she could feel something in her center yearning to moveoutward, or maybe it was being pulled, she wasn’t quite sure. It felt as if hervery soul wanted to stretch itself out and connect with everything that existedaround her, the smells, the sounds, the life she could feel pulsating andthrobbing everywhere. The desire was too intense to resist, and so, she gave into the lure of her own sudden awareness.

Shetook a deep breath and then reached out with her mind. Her vision seemed tosweep out over the ground in a huge growing circle, stretching ever wider toscoop in all the vibrations near her. She didn’t exactly understand what washappening, but Anna could sense that what she was doing now was more intuitivethan it was mysterious.

And then she heard them, thesound of far off footsteps somewhere ahead of her. They were large heavyfootfalls, moving away, then stopping, turning, now moving to her right. Annaopened her eyes and looked in the direction of the sound in the woods. Shetried to listen, this time looking down again into the path below her feet. Shecouldn’t hear anything.

“Hmmm… definitely heard…something,” she said, as she continued her walk. She kept her eyes open now,looking into the woods over her right shoulder as she moved up the driveway.Still nothing. Oh well, she thought, “I guess it could have been adeer,” she told herself, unconvincingly.

Anna looked up and was suddenlystartled by a most unexpected sight. There, looming to greet her, more thanfifty yards away, stood the iron gates of the estate. Anna stopped and staredin utter amazement. “What’s this?” she said, in surprise, as she began walkingmore hurriedly toward the entrance. She squinted hard; was that movement shesaw? She started running up the grade until she was close enough to see.

“They’re running!”

Sure enough, the ornate horseson the gates were galloping in front of her. But… how can this be? shethought, shielding her eyes from the sun in disbelief. It was a very odd sight,and then it dawned on her. In all the years she could remember, Anna neverbefore saw the gates from this position. She was standing outside the entranceas a Muggle looking in, and yet, she could clearly see the large iron gates andthe horses running upon them. But where was the barrier? Where were the hugefallen trees disguising the Grayson entrance? Normally, Anna didn’t see thebarrier change into the gates again until she was almost upon them. The charmplaced upon her by her father did not counter the spells on the estate untilAnna was very close to the entrance or actually inside the grounds. So why werethe horses moving before she was inside? What if another Muggle were to happenby and see this? If that were to happen, there would definitely be trouble.

She stepped forward and movedto where the two gates joined in their middle. They began to fall away and openin much the same way they had done for as far back as she could remember. Butthe horses on the front never moved like this until she stepped inside. Now,walking up to the gate line, she hesitated before stepping across. For amoment, she thought she might see the horses, now in reverse of what wasexpected, stop their canter, but they did not. They kept moving, taking nonotice of Anna’s position what so ever. She stepped in and out, back and forthacross the gate line, but still, she couldn’t get the horses to stop.

“Cool!” Anna yelped, smilingwide. To her, it was like replaceing a broken toy that was now working perfectly.She slowly stepped between the gates and watched them close behind her. “Well,”she said, merrily, “that was different; must be a broken spell,” and shelaughed in happy satisfaction.

Anna turned and continuedwalking up the road. For some strange reason she felt immensely pleased withwhat had just happened, in much the opposite way it had frustrated her thatmorning. Still, deep down, she knew she had to tell her father about what justhappened. Otherwise, they very well could replace themselves on the evening news,trying to explain how they got their gate ornaments to trot and run bythemselves. Anna frowned at the thought of seeing Damon’s pasty white chinlessface under the bright lights of a TV camera.

“Eeeewwww, now that’s justfoul,” she shuddered to herself.

A small chipmunk suddenlydarted into the road in front of her, quickly followed by a much largerbrother. The smaller chipmunk sprinted right, and then started circlingfrantically, trying to get away from his chasing attacker. Anna stomped herfoot, “Hey you!” she shouted angrily. “Leave him alone, you big bully.” Thelarger chipmunk, now seeing Anna looming over him, turned and scampered backinto the woods. Anna felt a slight tug at her consciousness again, and closedher eyes to follow the little creature into the forest.

Anna was amazed. She couldstill see the animal running as the view of him in her mind’s eye seemed to getclearer with each passing second. She could see herself catching up to him,getting closer and closer, racing through the woods just a few inches off theground behind him. “I’m going to catch you,” she sang out, with an evil grin.She could see his little body bobbing over and under branches and bushes,occasionally glaring back as if seeing her in pursuit. Still smiling, Annacould see the gap between them slowly closing. Every time he changed direction,she cut off the angles separating them, coming still closer. Now directlybehind him, she could see his tiny feet kicking up the dirt as he trieddesperately to flee. She watched his brown body blur below her gaze as sheswept over the top of him, and for an instant, she might have sworn she couldsmell the sweat of his effort to escape.

She leaned down and whisperedinto his ear, “I’VE GOT YOU!” Immediately, the little animal stopped and turnedto face her. He unexpectedly leaped forward into her face, baring his tinysquare teeth as he let out a sharp squeal of panic.

Anna eyes snapped open with asharp jolt. She looked around to see she was still standing in the middle ofthe road. “What in the world… was that?” she groaned, in shocked surprise. DidI just…? But she hadn’t finished the thought when she heard another squealof fright once more somewhere deep in the woods. She stared for a moment, andthen slowly started walking again, still listening. Her pace quickened. “You’rereally starting to lose it, girl,” she said, as if questioning her own goodsense. Still… it seemed so real. She wondered.

Anna stopped. This time foldingher arms across her chest, she lowered her head and closed her eyes again. Oncemore, she saw herself rising above her body, which she could still see visiblystanding in the middle of the road below her. She swooped down low to theground and reached into the open spaces around her. Probing and listening, shefelt as though her mind was traveling at some great speed through the trees andground cover. She saw a spider lacing a new web, its spinners giving off a softwhirring sound behind its legs. There was a gray squirrel hopping over there, abee hovering over a flower, a tiny bird dipping for bugs; nothing escaped hergaze as she reached farther and farther out with her net-like mind. But waswhat she was now seeing real? Anna started to question herself, and sheimmediately noticed her pace beginning to slow, she was becoming lessmaneuverable and clumsy. Fearful she might lose the experience, she begantelling herself it was true, this was real, and within seconds, the eye of hermind was dashing through the forest floor again at an incredible rate of speed.

And then, she heard them again,those heavy footsteps moving somewhere through the woods. Where were theycoming from? Her body cocked its head slightly, and concentrated with allits might on that one sound among the infinite rush of noise-filled chaosaround her. The thudding beats seemed to be moving aimlessly in circles,tripping occasionally, and then starting again. She focused on just thosesteps, trying to block everything else out of her mind. It worked; she couldhear them clearer now, and she saw the picture in her head turn to follow. Whenthe sound stopped again, so did Anna. She kept her eyes closed and could seeherself hovering just a few inches off of the ground somewhere in the woods,waiting for the sound to return. Anna took a long deep breath, and then focusedher concentration still harder. She waited for what seemed like an eternity forsomething to happen, a sound, a sign that whatever it was in the forest wasstill there. Then she heard a faint snap to her left, and she tilted her headand frowned as she focused on that one resonating twist of wood undersomebody’s foot. Where had it come from? She saw herself floating slowlyin the direction she knew would bring her closer to the answer.

Then Anna heard a differentsound, not the thumping of mindless heavy footsteps, but something much softer;it… sounded like a moan. She moved quickly toward this new sound, and as shedid, the deep grousing noise started to get louder. It sounded like somethingwhimpering, the echo of a frightened child perhaps, somebody sobbing further inthe woods. Anna raced as fast as she could across the top of the ground,searching for the source of the now fearful whines. And then, finally, shefound it. It was a woman, rocking in a seated position on the dirt with herhead buried in her arms. She was leaning against the base of a tree, sobbing.

Anna’s eyes snapped open again.Although she was still standing in the middle of the road, she knew exactlywhere the woman was located in the forest. She recognized the place she knewwell after so many years of playing on the grounds.

Anna raced into the treesleaving her book-bag on the dirt road behind her. She dashed through the thicklayers of undergrowth in her path, heading directly toward the spot she thoughtshe knew.

A minute later, Anna stopped;she was very close now. “Hellllooo,” she sang into the woods. “Is somebodythere? Do you need any help?”

She heard a faint voice reply,“Yes…please… I’m over here… help me.”

Anna finally found the poorwoman sitting exactly where the picture in her mind told her she would be. Shewas so shocked to discover the woman really did exist that she didn’timmediately offer her any assistance. When the woman finally raised her head tolook up, Anna could see she had obviously been crying for quite a while and,judging from the condition of her shoes and clothes, she had probably been inthe woods for most of the day.

“Oh thank God you found me,”the woman said, through her shining tears. She reached out to Anna as if stillnot believing this redheaded girl was really there.

Anna helped the woman to herfeet and began brushing off the dirt on her clothes. “Are you all right?” sheasked, clearly seeing the woman was desperate.

“Ummm, no, I’m not, I….” butshe couldn’t seem to form the proper words to say what was wrong.

“Are you hurt?” Anna asked,trying to look into the woman’s face, “Are you injured?”

“Ummm, no… I — I don’t thinkso,” the woman replied, trying anxiously to calm herself, but a rush of birdsabove them startled the woman into a fit of screaming panic as she turned tograb the tree next to her in terror.

“It’s all right,” Anna soothed,kindly. “You’re all right; it’s just a few birds, okay? There’s nothing to beafraid of. Let’s get you out of the woods and back to the road. Can you walkwith me?” The woman took Anna’s hand to steady her confidence, and they slowlymade their way back to the road. Anna started to realize their Muggle visitorhad obviously been the victim of some of the charms and spells surrounding theproperty. Anna knew these spells became increasing more difficult on any Muggleas they got closer to the house, but if this was the result, a woman lost andtotally helpless to exit the property under her own power, Anna would have totalk to her father about changing some the incantations. There had to be abetter, less dangerous way to protect the grounds. Perhaps her father could usea coughing spell, or maybe an escalating jelly-legs charm. Anna thoughtjelly-legs would be very effective without causing the paralyzing fear thatkept this woman from departing on her own. She would know; her sister Tenchaalways loved to cast the jelly-legs spell on her whenever the opportunitypresented itself. This was especially true when she caught Anna walking downthe staircase.

When they finally arrived backon the path, the woman didn’t seem any better than when she was in the woods.

“Do you need to come up to thehouse?” asked Anna, politely.

“House?” jerked the woman. “W…what house?”

“My house, up there, theGrayson estate,” Anna replied, pointing farther up the road. The woman’s eyeswidened with fear once again.

“No… I can’t go up there…. I….I might get lost again,” she said, leaning away in the opposite direction. Hervoice was filled with panic.

“It’s all right,” Anna soothedher, reassuringly. “Perhaps I can walk you back down to the street and help youreplace your way home. Would that be all right?”

“Yes… please…home…yes…thankyou,” replied the flustered woman.

As they began walking back downthe road, the woman’s disposition slowly began to calm, and when the frontgates to the estate came into view again, the woman released Anna’s hand as iftrying to understand why she ever found the need to hold onto it in the firstplace. Anna worriedly watched the gates swinging themselves open as theyapproached. She looked at the Muggle, who was apparently staring at the gatesas well.

“Well, I suppose we won’t beable to walk through that,” the woman said, sounding very frustrated.

“Through what?”

“Through those big treesblocking the road, of course,” she answered, pointing at the gates in front ofthem.

Anna looked again and frowned.The anti-Muggle charms must have been working after all, because the woman wasseeing something completely different than what Anna saw. The gates were wideopen, delivering a clear view to the road beyond, but the woman insisted ontraveling fifty yards into the woods to get around the perceived tree-fallenbarriers blocking their path. Anna was confused. Why couldn’t she, Anna, seethe barrier from outside the grounds? She followed the woman around thenon-existent trees and back to the road on the other side of the gates.Finally, upon reaching the path again, the woman turned to face her.

“Well… that was incrediblyembarrassing,” she heaved breathlessly, in a very self-critical tone.

“What do you mean?”

“My getting lost in thesehideous woods.”

“Oh… well… they’re not so bad…once you get used to the lay of the land,” Anna replied. The woman seemedsomewhat surprised at her response.

“I really don’t know what cameover me,” she explained, combing the fallen pine needles out of her hair. “Ireally don’t. I mean… I’ve been in the woods many times, but I’ve never had areaction like that before. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been lost in myentire life. Well… thank you again,” the woman said, sticking out her hand toshake Anna’s. “Oh… I’m sorry dear; I didn’t even ask you for your name.”

Anna reached out and gentlyshook the woman’s hand, “Anna… Anna Grayson,” she said, smiling. The woman’seyes suddenly bulged almost as if they were about to pop out of her head. Shesnatched her hand back from Anna with glared anger.

“You!” she said, in a very curttone. “You… are Anna Grayson? Well I never –” she said, indignantly. She wasdefinitely upset about something. “My name is Mrs. Rebecca Drummond. I amVeronica Drummond’s mother,” she said, abruptly. “I came up this ghastly roadthis afternoon to have a serious talk with your parents about your attack on mydaughter on the school bus this morning.”

“Attack your daughter? Me? But…that’s not what happened,” Anna said, defensively. The woman grabbed Anna’shands and turned them over as if to inspect her fingers.

“I don’t see any cuts on yourhands and face like those I found on Veronica this morning, young lady. Isuppose you’re going to tell me you were defending yourself against mydaughter?” said the woman, turning red in the face.

“No, I wasn’t defending myselffrom her. Nobody was defending themselves from anybody. Let me tell you whathappened,” Anna said, but she immediately realized she couldn’t possiblydescribe what happened on the bus this morning at all. Anna tried to think ofsomething that would explain how a run-away hair clip could attack a person,but nothing immediately came to mind.

“Well… I’m waiting!” said thewoman, her arms folded across her chest.

Anna decided to offer as muchof the truth as possible. “Well… you see, Veronica was making fun of my hair,and….”

“And you decided to rip mydaughter’s hair out by the roots in retaliation?” the woman interrupted,accusingly. “In my book, young lady, there isn’t a word spoken that should leadanother to violence. I’m shocked your parents haven’t taught you this lesson.I’d like to speak to your mother.”

Anna gritted her teeth. “She’sdead!” she spat, now crossing her arms in rebellion.

“Your father, then,” blurtedthe woman, without a moment’s pause to Anna’s reply.

“Fine, he’s up at the house.Shall I walk you in, then?” said Anna, motioning the woman up the road with anout-stretched hand.

The woman froze, and thenslowly looked up the road in the direction of the estate. It was obvious toAnna the woman would never go into these woods again.

“No…I don’t have time for thisright now,” she said sternly. “But hear my warning, little missy. If I everreplace out you’ve put your hands on my daughter again, I’ll become the mother youobviously need and turn you over my knee. Do you understand me?”

Anna stared at the woman,totally shocked by her bullying threats. An ugly fury suddenly explodedforward. “How dare you… take the part of my mother, and then threaten me, whenyou don’t know what really happened!” Anna said, raising her voice.

“I know enough about yourkind to see you for what you really are,” the woman screamed, now at ablaring level. “I’m standing here as a witness to your total lack of respect,”she yelled, her face turning bright purple with anger.

That was it. Anna had heardenough about ‘her kind’ from Damon to take the insult from a total stranger.She stepped up to the woman in a seething rage. “I think… you’d better go now,”Anna growled through her nearly closed lips. The woman’s eyes widened and beganto dart all over Anna’s face, as if seeing something horrible for the firsttime beneath what was once a pretty mask.

“My God!” she said, steppingaway from Anna in obvious fear.

Anna paid little attention tothe woman’s reaction, but more on the fact that she was still standing in frontof her. Anna’s eyes were beginning to cloud over in a darkening haze. “I said,”she seethed, in an almost all-consuming boil, “it’s time for you to go!” And then, all at once, as if someone hadthrown a switch inside her brain, Anna did not want what she had only justdemanded. She wanted the woman… to stay.

An irresistible rush of hungersuddenly swept over her, together with a terrible longing to draw the womanclose. Anna’s sense of smell erupted forward, cutting her anger with sharpanticipation. Her eyes began darting all over the woman’s body, searchinglongingly for what it needed. A single-minded focus finally settled at thewoman’s throat, there… a tiny voice whispered to her, a quick strikeand then… but before she could finish her inspiration, the woman startedfalling back in complete terror. She stumbled slightly, turned, and began torun down the hill away from her. Anna reached out, but her action wasn’t inresponse to the woman’s obvious fear; it was a deeper longing, a starvingdesire, and the feeling that it was getting away.

When the woman was finally outof sight, Anna’s blood seemed to go cold. A very real sense of disappointmentand loss swiftly came over her, and she again felt the pangs of starvinghunger. She closed her eyes and looked up into the green leafy canopysurrounding her. She slowly drew a small calming breath, and then blew a steadystream of air through her tightly pursed lips. All at once, and as quickly asthe feelings had suddenly hit her, they were immediately gone. The longing, thedisappointment at the woman’s departure, and the overwhelming sense of hungerwere snuffed out like a candle’s flame behind a cupped hand. But these feelingswere immediately replaced by her original thoughts of anger and indignationtoward the visiting Muggle.

Anna pivoted quickly toward thegates again. “Old bat — see if I ever pull you out of the woods again,” shegrowled, sarcastically.

She looked up and, as ifblindly walking into a darkened cave, Anna’s body lurched into what could onlybe described as a cloud of blackened smoke. It was ice cold and surrounded herhead entirely. It had no smell, but seemed surprisingly familiar to her. Shestopped and looked around, fanning at the smoke accumulated around her facewhile searching for its source. And then, as quickly as it was there, it toowas suddenly gone. Anna glanced around, but there was no trace of the blacknessanywhere. She noticed her eyes ached in the late afternoon sun, as if she hadjust walked out of a very dark room. Still too angry to spend time standing inone place, Anna proceeded up the road again, heading for the gates. As theyswung open again, she could hear one of the galloping horses whinny as shewalked by.

“Oh, shut up,” she mumbled,crossly.

Anna marched up the road withbut a single thought on her mind, her father. She wasn’t sure what washappening, but she knew she had to replace her father and tell him about the oddthings occurring around her. How could she have seen the woman in the woodswithout being anywhere near her? There had to be a logical explanation. Herfather must have added something to the soup of spells surrounding the grounds.This would also explain her ability to see the gates before entering theproperty.

As she continued her walk upthe dusty road, Anna’s thoughts darkened. There was more she wanted to tell herfather. There were these new feelings and changes she was sensing withinherself. It would seem that over the last few days her ability to hear, smell,and see had somehow increased dramatically. But how could that be, or was itjust her imagination?

It was also true that Anna wasbeginning to push back rather hard against what she felt was a lifelong tide ofabuse at the hands of her siblings. Something inside her was changing; shecould feel it getting stronger everyday when she awoke, and she was starting tobelieve it absurd to continue to lie down and let everybody walk all over her.This seemed especially true when it came to Damon.

To Anna, Damon representedmalevolence in its purest form. He wasn’t just cruel; he could be brutal. WhileTencha and Dowla were also quite nasty, their brand of corruption seemed to bebased on a lack of maturity than what Damon offered. While the girls were neverat a loss to take advantage of a cruel prank at Anna’s expense, Damon was morecalculating, and iniquitous in his approach. He was cunning, scheming, andingenious in his methods of doling out embarrassment and sorrow to her.

But Anna’s hate toward Damonwasn’t just based on his treatment of her, it was also the way he treatedeveryone around him, but especially the creatures living on the estate. Annahad reached the point where she wasn’t going to accept Damon’s spitefulness andmalice without a fight. She had always felt less than her brothers and sistersbecause she was a squib, but now she was beginning to refuse this notion. Whileit was true Anna might always wonder why she was born different, she wasstarting to become stronger as a person than her siblings in many ways, and shethought she understood the difference. The difference was compassion.

Anna had come to realize whatcompassion was worth to the rest of the world. To her surprise, she suddenlyfelt it was something worth fighting for, something more important than evenher own physical safety, and it didn’t seem to matter what Damon could do toher in retaliation. But she also knew she had to be careful, because there weresome very real risks.

Damon was following in her father’sfootsteps, and even Anna had to admit she could eventually see her brothersomeday as a very powerful wizard. The things he could do to her was somethingAnna tried to avoid thinking about as much as possible. But she didn’t care,she wasn’t afraid of him anymore. She felt the cause of compassion was pushingher onward. It somehow felt like she needed to protect others from people likeDamon, and while it might eventually come to her ruin, she was ready to take onthis cause. Although Anna was powerless in the wizarding world, she could showeveryone she had value, that she had her own brand of power, the power to dowhat was right and honorable. That kind of strength, she felt, was far superiorto what Damon offered from his dark and hidden corner of the world.

Her family was very well knownin the wizarding community for its strength of character and magical abilities,and Anna’s father had recently extended that influence into the Muggle world aswell. And now Anna was beginning to see her place in that world, not as aperson too weak to be known as a Grayson, or somebody that needed to be hiddenfor lack of ability, but as a full contributor in her own right. She wanted tocontinue the good work her father had started, and bring her own style of compassionand honor to the family. Anna was starting to believe that — yes, even a squibhad value.

“Humph!” Keep your wand,Damon, Anna thought to herself, with a note of building pride. I’ll showyou what really matters in this life.

As she finally approached thelarge circle in front of the estate, Anna longed to see her father. Shedefinitely had to tell him about the problems with the spells on the grounds,but, then again, she wasn’t quite sure what he should say about the changes shewas sensing within herself. While very kind and considerate, her father mightset what she was feeling aside as nothing more than just a young girl growingup.

And then it came to her, like arush of fresh air giving the most obvious answer imaginable. Eric would understand.Her brother Eric would give her the support she knew she needed, and theconsideration to listen without being judgmental. She could tell Eric about herheightened senses, and confide in him the changes she felt were coming overher. As she approached the front of the house, Anna decided to limit herdiscussion with her father to just the important matters regarding the grounds,and seek her brother Eric out for her deeper needs.

Anna looked up at her manorhome and smiled. Towering over the grounds, the Grayson mansion was very largewith multiple floors displaying an extremely complicated array of old Englishspirals and bulwark. She always felt the estate looked more like an oldEuropean castle than what many of their neighbors might call the Americandream, but Anna truly loved this magical place. The entire structure wascomposed of steel-colored granite, and slate shingles encircling many largechimneys poking through the highest parts of the roof. It was a building ofsuch size, that when you stood close enough to the front entrance, it made youfeel like the house was now surrounding you. It was crescent shaped, with alarge central structure and two great wings standing lower to the left andright. The double front doors resembled a large drawbridge, giving her home thelook of nobility and strength.

As Anna approached the frontdoor, she realized how long it seemed the day had been. Her body ached forrest, and was happy to finally be home. As soon as she touched the iron latchof the double doors, Anna heard the whispers of tranquility and peace as shepushed the door open and stepped inside.