Artificial Heart
18

Prisha didn’t feel as nervous this time, though her heart was still pounding. This time, she didn’t need to speak, only hand over Alf’s chip. An easy thing to do. An easy thing to do.

She plucked at her pyjama shirt. It was bright pink and had a unicorn on it. ‘I should have changed. I’m going to look like an idiot. I still don’t understand why you can’t do this yourself, Alf. They’ll want to see you.’

‘I cannot.’

‘If you can stick something in my brain to translate your language, surely you can do the same.’

‘No.’

‘Fine,’ Prisha sighed as Alf helped her with the helmet. ‘Wish me luck.’

He grinned at her. Actually grinned. So unexpected. More and more he was revealing unexpected things. The hugs. The kisses. His words. The way he looked at her. Now, this smile. It gave his already distorted face a lopsided look. But it was cute. Too cute.

Prisha couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Remember our deal? It still stands.’

‘Acknowledged.’

He handed her the chip and Prisha gripped it tightly in her hand. Data. Her knees buckled again as she made her way down the ramp. It looked like a different place. Similar trees, though fewer. Similar stretch of grass. But everything was in different places. There was a dirt road in the distance.

There were nine figures waiting for her this time. There were the same witch’s hats. The same neutral distance. Similar figures stood in the back with their cars. Transportable lights gleamed. She watched in a daze as bugs danced around them.

Washington. America. She was in America.

Prisha cleared her throat quietly in her helmet as she fastened her eyes on the waiting nine. Her eyes lingered over the tall thin man with the black moustache. Why he attracted her attention, she didn’t know. Perhaps it was the way he was looking at her. It was more than fascination. More than awe. It was like he wanted to eat her.

‘I’m back,’ Prisha said. Her cheeks warmed. Why did everything she said sound wrong? ‘I have something for you.’

She held out the chip.

They all leaned over, though they didn’t move from their spots.

‘What is it?’ spoke the woman on the left.

‘Data. That’s all he’ll tell me.’ She paused. ’It might … it might help us.’

‘How can you be sure?’

‘I’m not.’

‘It could hurt us,’ came Black Moustache’s voice.

‘No. He doesn’t want that. He doesn’t have to do this. He’s not supposed to …’ She stopped. They probably shouldn’t know that. ‘I don’t have to speak. Just take it.’

Her arm was trembling as she held it out. It wasn’t one of the nine who came up to retrieve it but a tall figure from the back. A soldier. An officer, maybe. He took long, fast strides. Everyone watched as he stood over her. He studied her with dark, suspicious eyes that made Prisha tense up. What if he grabbed her? His eyes darted over her girly pyjamas. She remembered there was a big yellow stain on her left pant leg.

He held out his hand and Prisha dropped the chip into it.

Quickly, she stepped back. Away from him. Away from the rest of them. The urge to turn and run up the ramp was overwhelming. The soldier stared at her with those wary dark eyes as he held the chip lightly in his big fist.

‘What’s the data?’ came a voice from further down the line. A short man with a bald head.

‘I don’t know.’

She felt his judgement. She felt all their judgement. Prisha was neither particularly smart, nor talented. There was nothing about her that was surprising or unique. They must be wondering the same thing she did: Why her?

The soldier was standing too close and Prisha took another step back.

‘We would like to know who you are,’ spoke Black Moustache.

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

Prisha didn’t answer.

‘How is Brisbane this time of year? Warmer than usual, I hear.’ Black Moustache smiled.

Prisha’s jaw fell open. She clicked it shut. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

He was close. Too close. How? Shit. Shit. SHIT.

She took two more steps back. The soldier didn’t move. Neither did any of the others. Then she was racing up the ramp.

‘Get out of here, Alf!’

Moments later, the ramp was up and the ship left the land—America—far behind. Prisha leaned over, gripping at her chest. They knew. They knew. Maybe they knew who she was already. Were they toying with her?

She hadn’t liked Black Moustache. She liked that tall soldier even less.

‘Alf, I’m worried. They’re going to replace me. I can’t go back.’

Once they’d passed out of Earth’s atmosphere, he turned. ‘You must. There is more danger from my kind than yours.’

‘What if they take me?’

‘They will not.’

‘How can you be so sure?’

‘It will risk future contact.’

‘Humans aren not always rational. Neither are we particularly smart.’ Prisha wrapped her arms around her stomach. ‘Alf, I’m scared. Don’t take me back.’

‘I must.’

Prisha’s teeth chattered.

‘I owe you,’ Alf said.

He got up and came close, standing over her, much like the tall soldier had.

‘I don’t feel like it.’

He wrapped his arms around her anyway. Prisha stiffened. She kept her face turned to the side.

‘You are angry,’ he said.

Prisha sniffed without answer.

‘I am sorry.’

And he was so genuine about it Prisha’s heart tumbled. She couldn’t help it; she sagged into him. ‘Don’t be sorry.’

Then he laid his hand upon her head and it was like something melted inside her. A wall fell down. She turned her face so it pressed into his shoulder, muffling her voice, ‘I like you, Alf, very much.’

‘I like you too.’

Prisha turned her face to wipe away a tear along his suit.

‘You make me feel a lot,’ he suddenly said.

The air stuck in Prisha’s throat. She squeezed him ’You make me feel a lot too. Too much.’ She laughed sadly.

Slowly Alf released her. He looked down into her face, his organic eye burning with such intensity, it out-gleamed his artificial one. Prisha gazed back up at him, focused on his eyes and eyelashes, focused on his mouth.

Prisha’s voice was a croak. ‘Are you coming back again? Or is this it?’

‘I must come back. It is not over.’

‘When it—when it is, you must take me with you. I can’t go back. Not now. Not after knowing you. I’ll be sad, Alf. Very sad.’ Heat filled her face. She was so embarrassed, so shocked by her vulnerability that she couldn’t move.

‘I am sorry.’

Prisha’s eyes prickled. Alf’s face blurred behind her tears. He leaned in. The softness of his lips was shocking. It seemed to suck the air right out of her lungs. She tried to kiss back but her lips wouldn’t stop trembling.

Then he was holding her again in one of his big “Alf” hugs, and Prisha burst into tears.

His damnable hugs.

How they turned her into mush.

She didn’t know how it happened. But somehow they made the leap. So suddenly. So shockingly. From kiss to hug to physical connection. It was all a blur. A whirl of smell and touch and sensation. Skin to skin. Breath upon breath. Intertwined and lost. Blind to the ship and Earth and the future. Only knowing each other: defenceless, vulnerable, helpless. Heat and sweat and the prickle of fingertips. The softness of lips against bone, flesh and metal. Whisperings. Murmuring. Panting.

Prisha cried out.

35.065%

How did she remember the numbers so well? So much was so real and yet not nearly enough.

The bed was narrow but they’d managed. They would have managed anywhere. Prisha was curled up in Alf’s lap, his arms wrapped tightly around her.

Taking up his huge hand, she kissed each of his fingers. Then she turned and pressed her lips into his shoulder, against his bare smooth, warm skin. Here and there was the shine of metal but most of his outer body was flesh. It was on the inside where he was mostly artificial.

Ironic.

She nuzzled his throat, then took up his other hand. The metal fingers of his right hand didn’t frighten her. Instead, they made her strangely sad. She played with them, avoiding his eyes, knowing that it was almost over.

She couldn’t believe so much had happened. She couldn’t believe she was here, like this. His skin was warm against hers. His breath was hot against her throat. He’d been incredibly gentle, considering his size—and incredibly naive. The tears pricked her eyes again and Prisha swallowed them down.

They kept coming. She pressed her fingers to her face. ‘Sorry.’ Prisha leaned in to Alf’s shoulder. ‘How long?’

He squeezed her. ‘Now.’

Prisha grinned tearfully into his shoulder as she fastened her arms around him. ’I’m not leaving. You’ll have to make me.’

It was easy. Way too easy. He smoothed his hands up her back, reaching her neck. There was a weird prickly sensation as he pressed something just beneath her left ear. Immediately, her body turned slack. Her head lolled. Her arms and legs went completely flaccid.

Then he was standing and laying her upon the cot. All Prisha could do was stare up at the ceiling as she listened to his footsteps. It was probably a couple of minutes before she could move again.

Slowly, she sat up. Her head lolled again. Her eyelids sank, then sprang open. Even her voice was slurred. She touched her neck. ‘What the hell was that?’ He didn’t answer as he pulled on his gloves, already dressed in his grey suit.

‘I had no choice,’ he said.

Prisha sighed. ‘Oh, Alf, don’t you understand the concept of play?’

Slowly, she stood. She staggered. Alf was there, propping her up. Prisha turned into him, pressing her face into the nape of his neck, her bare skin pressed up against the smoothness of his suit.

Alf laid his hand upon her head affectionately. ‘You must go.’

He let her go and sat back down at his controls.

Prisha got changed. Her pocket was heavy with her phone. She took it out. ‘Alf?’ He turned to look at her. ‘Can I take a picture of you?’

His forehead furrowed.

’Please. To remember you by. When you eventually go, I want to … I want to …’ She couldn’t say it.

Alf gazed at her steadily, then nodded.

She took several pictures, then joined him. They were soon flying over mountains, ice-capped and enormous. She knew he was doing it for her. She’d told him it was her favourite. He didn’t speak. He wasn’t looking at her. But he was relaxed in his seat and when she laid her hand upon his thigh, he laid his hand on top of hers.

They arrived too soon. Prisha watched the trees of the park grow tall around them, feeling increasingly miserable. It was only when they landed that Alf finally turned to her. She heard the ramp lower.

‘Don’t be long, Alf.’

He didn’t answer but his organic eye was darker than usual. Prisha couldn’t resist leaning over and pecking him on the nose. She took his hand and squeezed it. Then she shot up to her feet and got away from him. Any further touching and she couldn’t be sure she’d be able to let go.

‘Take your nutrient sachets,’ he said.

Hair shielding her face, Prisha took the heavy box and made her way down the ramp without turning back. She couldn’t turn back. By the time she reached the ground the tears were already clinging to her eyelashes.

By the time she made it home, she was sobbing.