Awakening (2 book series)
Awakening – Rejected Mate Chapter 17

"You can't lie to your mate, Lorey. I can feel you, even if what you're saying sounds honest. I am what you need, and you're what I need. Fate made it so... When you strip everything else away and it's just us, here and now, with no one else to think about.... we need each other to feel sane. To stop this eternal agony and emptiness we're both harboring. We don't need to pretend it's any other way. There should never be lies between us." We both stand in hopeless silence as he gets up to stand too, towering over me by at least a foot, yet we're still at least three apart. He doesn't hesitate and closes the gap, pulls me to him by the waist, gently, his touch searing my skin, even through my clothes and I can't deny that I do need him. I can't fight it.

Bringing his forehead to mine, he places us together so his breath fans my face, impulsively, I close my eyes and inhale his scent. Our connection only drives home that we are meant to be like this. It's familiar, safe, and home... Where skin touches, amazing things happen and the energy which sizzles between us is incomparable. Lighting my body on fire and I burn to be completely joined to him, aching with need that makes my legs turn weak. For the first time since this began, I'm at peace instantly, and every pain and torment, all the confusion I've been through, quiets to absolutely nothing. Just him and I, and a sharing of every feeling, Highlighting the peace we can replace in a touch.

We both let go of our held breath, and breathe out in unison, as though finally replaceing where we need to be for just a moment of serene. A second of calm in the stormy seas which has been thrashing us around since I awakened.

Colton lifts his hand slowly and strokes a single finger across my cheek, brushing away my hair and tucks it behind my ear. Leaving a hot tingling path where he connects with me. The heat drawing down deep inside my soul to bring warmth to the coldness dwelling within.

"I want nothing more right now than to unify our bond and mark you. Believe me when I tell you, that if I was anyone else's son... you would already be bearing my mark and know what it is to have me inside of you. The union would be complete. I love you, Lorey, in ways I didn't know I could love anyone. I thought I knew what it was to commit my soul to my mate, but I was wrong. I need you to know this isn't what I want. ... That I'm sorry... but I have no other choice, and I have to reject......." Colton falters, his raw croaking tone breaking, then he swallows hard, bringing back all the anguish from before and a solitary tear rolls down his cheek and drips onto mine to continue its painful journey. Wounding me with its searing burn. His pain evident and for a second his anguish and confusions flows through my soul too, telling me he can't do it alone. My heart is already turning to ash as he destroys me with his words, but we have to be stronger.

I know what he has to say, that it has to be done. Know why. It's how it is, we can't change it, or fight it, or do this any other way, and hearing it may kill me, but I have to let him do it. There's no alternative and as much as I want to scream and stop this, I understand. I can't hate him for it.

I'm no Luna. I'm a Whyte wolf from the family Dennison. A shamed bloodline who all fell in battle, and we don't have a right to stand up by an alpha's side to tar his name. I don't have it in me to lead, and I'll be nothing but a weight of shame hanging around his neck, his weakness in battle, and the demise of his bloodline. I can't be the reason he loses the respect of the packs and upturn his entire life.

I say nothing, just stay deathly still, silent tears escaping from my closed eyes as they begin to pour down my face. Warm, bitter, stinging, rivulets of despair. He can feel me and hear my thoughts, so he knows my acceptance is in my silence. My pain is his, my distraught agony in knowing this is over before it began is all around, and in between us. He knows what to do. His breathing gets heavier, labored, as he struggles to compose himself and push the last of the words out in a voice I barely recognize; low and strained. Ravaged and hoarse. He clears his throat and swallows loudly again as though to pull himself together.

"...... Colton Juan Santo, son of the alpha of the reigning Santo pack, and future alpha of Mount. Radstone........ I'm sorry, baby, don't hate me for this........ reject you as my chosen mate and deny the bond of imprinting. I set you free........ to....." He swallows hard again, voice wavering, choking on his own tears, pulling me into his embrace, crushing me with strong arms to replace the will to carry on. Wrapping me up in his body as though he wants to shield me from what he is doing and memorize the feel of me for an eternity. I can feel everything, know his emotions as if they are my own, and it kills me. His regret, his anguish, his overwhelm at the pain and being the one who delivers the wounding blow to my heart.

"... replace a chosen mate as you see fit, as will I, with no interference, ... even if it causes pain.... My word cannot and will not be broken, and I will not intervene should you replace your path... This cannot be undone... I set you free, for now and all eternity. May the fates be kind and give you a pass to a better future." His words are barely audible, his voice so much lower, breathless, as he binds me against him almost cruelly, with the force of his passion. The sound of blood rushing through my ears blots the world out as I spiral into a complete emotional breakdown, tearing my mind to shreds.

Finish it!

I blurt trough the head link, knowing he has to. I can't stand this any longer, I need the words to stop, for it to be over, and for this to be done. His touch is my torture and his voice my final blow. Colton shudders in my arms, his face wet too and he buries a hand in the back of my hair as he cradles me against him tightly. Almost like he can stop it hurting me if he crushes me to him and melts our bodies to one form.