Awakening (2 book series)
Awakening – Following Fate Chapter 108

Colton surprises me, being he's the one who always wants to push things to s*x at any opportunity, by pulling back and cooling the tempo with a sudden pause. Toning down our make out session back to simmering sweetness.

"We shouldn't.... not until it's safe. Three months, right? Do we even know how far on you are?" He traces my kiss swollen lips with his thumb so gently that I can't be mad at him for stopping this. His eyes glittering with emotion as he focuses on my face and that smile bringing out his dimples, radiating genuine happiness. Always protecting what's his, always attentive to every detail. "With everything that's happened, no. I haven't even had a chance to properly be seen by the Doctor." I admit with a blush, knowing that saying it allowed makes me sound uncaring.

"We have time. We could go down now... we could ..."

"No!" I catch his hands as he tries to lasso me to move and pull him back a little aggressively. Instant tears hitting me for no apparent reason with his sudden need to get me downstairs to the med bay, and emotion overwhelms me so suddenly. A lurching of my heart and a neediness hitting full throttle.

"I need you here with me alone, for now. Just us, until it's time! I missed you and I need you to stay here. I don't want to go down there yet or deal with that.... not with this hanging over us, coloring it this way. After, I promise, but not now, please, Colton. When it's done, when we can focus on these..." It's almost a whining wail and tears blur my vision. I have no idea where this came from.

I rub my hand over my flat abdomen and look down at the life I know is growing in there with a soft sniff to catch my stupid tears back where they belong. Colton patient and quiet as he listens to me and strokes my hair as a way to say he's not moving us. His eyes locked on mine and that mature and calm expression he gets when he knows I need something from him and he should take note.

"That's when we do it. Whatever is needed, and it feels special, not rushed. For right now, I just need you to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay, like you always do. That we can do this. That we will get through this." It's what I needed most when I didn't have him. His dependency, his solid confidence, and ability to make everything right in my world. Colton always replaces a way. I needed my protector and now he's here, I want to let go of everything and go back to being sheltered for a moment. "Baby." Colton slides me back against him and tucks my head under his chin with a large palm, once again wrapping me up in his strong arms against that chiseled body and applies a little reassuring pressure. "You know I will always do whatever you need. It's my life's mission to make you happy." He soothes me, stroking back my hair and makes me feel like everything is safe once more. That he won't slip away the second I close my eyes and that we're not being rushed to part anytime soon.

I don't even know where this sudden insecurity sprung from. I was fine earlier when he went downstairs to make sure everyone knew the plan and talk to the pack, but it's maybe because the sun is starting to fade, and I'm scared of what's coming. What we have to do. Emotional because of what he said and how he's being. His apology felt like something more.

I almost failed in the forest. I wasn't as strong or as able as previously and I almost died. I was useless, and even with Carmen and Sierra trying to stay with me, I wasn't what I thought I would be. I disappointed myself. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I thought being some sort of prophecy meant I was invincible, and nothing could pull me down, yet out there, facing my own mate... I couldn't fight him like this. Pregnant, weak, restrained. It was pathetic.

I would have died and so would he; our babies, Sierra, if Leyanne hadn't broken the curse when she did. I was so close and now there's a fear deep inside of me that tonight, I will only let my mate and my pack down. I'm not worthy, not in the way I thought I was meant to be. I don't know if the prophecy really has the right wolf after all. I think after the events of the last week, a part of me is afraid that Colton will disappear again when we go back out there. That somehow, he isn't safe and that maybe we might lose our pack in some freaking magical way again and I'll be just as powerless. If that happens, I feel like it will all be my fault, because this all started with my mother and then me.

I grip him so tightly and hug him half to death, burying my face against that familiar feel and his strong chest and just hold on to the last ounces of sanity.

"Lorey?... hey?..." Colton nudges me on top of my head with his chin and it draws me out of my dark cavern of safety, pulling back so I can gaze up at him. My eyes wet with dampness, even though I didn't think I was crying, and he smiles at me. So sweetly, full dimples and white teeth, charm and sexiness personified and it makes me smile too.

"What?" I sniff out, so close to properly sobbing and melt a little at how gooey my mate makes me with one perfectly pulled cute boy gesture.

"I believe in you." He says it with authority, and I realize he has been absorbing my fear, my doubts, and read me like a book. Knowing what was going on in my brain even while I was trying to hold it in. I sigh and sink against him once more. "I wish I did too."

"Hey. Have a little faith in the fates, right? Isn't that what you told me. That they put us on these paths because they have a plan." He pulls me back again and slides his hand between us and cups my abdomen softly. Gently moving it in a soft rub that sends goosebumps across my skin. "They most definitely have a plan. They wouldn't have let this happen otherwise, not now, unless they know this is going to be okay." His words soothe me, knowing it makes sense, and I exhale with heaviness.

"I guess." My hand moves to cover his hand as he lasso's my fingers between his and pulls them under to fully entangle them without leaving my stomach.

"Leave the fighting to us. Your only job is to talk to Jasper and Varro, from a safe distance, behind the shield of your mate and your pack. Nothing else. I don't want to see you lift one finger to do anything except that. Swear to me Lorey!" He bumps his head against mine and locks his beautiful coffee brown eyes on mine, both sighing in sync. Making me powerless to disobey or reject the cotton wool padding he is already wrapping around me now he knows about the babies.

"I swear." What else can I do. I know myself that I'm vulnerable now and that fighting isn't going to keep these children safe. My powers drain quickly, the forest showed me that, and healing is something I have to rely on Colton and his mother for if I get hurt. I saw how easily we got separated and I can't be too confident that the same won't happen at the mountain. Even though I know Colton will do anything in his power to make sure he stays with me. It's why he has brought the Luna's guard back into play. In case anything goes wrong and he can't shadow me like he wants. Always thinking of the details and covering his angles.

He knows just like I do that this is going to change everything and there's a chance that some of our pack won't see tomorrow.