Awakening (2 book series)
Awakening – Rejected Mate Chapter 52

Kissing him is so familiar and as I open my mouth to let things progress quickly, all those feelings and crazy urges rush back like a massive tidal wave hitting the shore. So easy to become consumed and intoxicated with need when we're touching this way. My lips parting wider, to give him access as his tongue slides against mine and he kisses me with passion and expertise that makes my toes curl and my stomach tingle.

Colton stirs against me, his body easing against mine, relaxing into the hold we have on one another and meeting my groan with his own murmured growl of enjoyment. We're made to kiss one another, and I can't imagine anyone ever tasting this good or making me feel this complete. Neither can deny our bond when we kiss, it's potent and all consuming.

Just as his hands begin to slide down my back and over my a*s, bringing my pelvis to his, hinting at his s****l excitement, he stops abruptly. Catching himself, he pulls away fast, so suddenly he literally rips us apart and I'm stunned with the sudden release, eyes flickering open to replace myself tottering on unsure legs. He steps back, fully releasing me, almost letting me topple with the sudden loss of support, but I catch myself on the nearby door frame, breathless, and panting with how hot that make out session was and glance up at his shell shocked expression.

"We shouldn't... it's only going to make this harder." He closes right back down inside of his own head. That softness of his expression, the dilated pupils and stirring body. It all reels back at speed as he regains perfect control. I, however, am fire dup and burning with crazy heat, which triggers severe frustration at the sudden halt.

"I disagree. I think we should take what time we have and no regrets with it. My body yearns for you, and I could feel it was mutual. We're doing nothing wrong in the eyes of the fates. This is what they wanted for us. Stay with me tonight, share my bed, give us something more than this." It's brazen for me, and I swear I hear Meadows voice in my head, egging me on as the words tumble out. A confidence growing that I never knew I could possess, and a shameless need to see this through. I'm all in and willing to lose my virginity tonight. In fact, I want it badly.

I don't care if I'm not marked, I'll let him in my bed and make him bond to me in other ways if it makes him start fighting for his right. S*x will bind us, and I'm willing to use any tool to get my mates head out of his ass.

"I can't. I'm sorry." Colton can't look me in the eye, and I can feel the agony waving his way from me. The turmoil, the regret, the confusion as he fights his own will power. My boy's screwed up in the head and fighting with his own emotions and morals. I realize this is going to be tougher than I thought, and it's not just Juan's command. Colton's fighting with his own inner voice, about what's right, and what he should do. I can taste the indecision as it's thick enough around me to color the air.

He steps forward, eyes still downcast and surprises me with a fast, fleeting, yet soft kiss on the forehead that renders me mute. A moment of his gentle affectionate side to let me know he does care, even if his refusal makes it seem otherwise. "It's not that I don't want you... just please, don't hate me." He doesn't wait for an answer, turns on his heel rapidly and heads back the way we came, at speed, not looking back, wounding me with how much he' fighting this. My heart thuds through my chest, stomach in knots as I watch him go, but I remind myself that I'm not a girl who falls at the first hurdle, and I won't give up.

If you change your mind, my door, for you, will always be open. I'm not giving up on us.

My mind link follows him out of sight, my heart aching harder the further he gets away, and I'm close to tears but bite them back. Refusing to break down and be weak over this. Colton needs strength and I'm going to prove I have a lot of it. I survived my family's death and my makeshift pack's. I'm tougher than I ever gave myself credit for, and it's time I started to own that.

I wait for what seems like an eternity of agonizing silence in the air, until he's far out of reach emotionally, and the sounds of his footsteps on wood have drifted hopelessly away. I almost break down and cry when no response comes at all, desolate, and alone, when he delivers that one little ray of hope.

I love you, Lorey. I won't give up on us either.