Back and Better by NighttShadee
Chapter 32

Chapter Thirty Two

Amira POV

Insane.

Insane I'm going f*****g insane. Is this what having a psychotic break is like? As soon as I saw thebodies, something in me snapped. Because I knew it was my fault.

I don't remember much, other than an all-consuming sorrow. A sorrow that very quickly morphedinto an absolute rage.

Since it was my fault, I wanted to punish myself. So after setting a bunch of s**t on fire, I was readyto hurt myself.

Teven thought about suicide, but couldn't leave little Meda behind. My mates sensed that, andmanaged to calm me down.

That was about two days ago, and I've been mentally and physically checked out. I've wanted to goout and destroy S**t, but at least one of my mates is constantly with me.

I know they're at least somewhat happy, because they get to totally take care of me with minimalprotests on my part.

I don't have enough energy to protest I don't have enough energy to do anything.

"Amira, love, you need to eat. Please. You need your strength if we're going to take down thosemotherfuckers,” Christians voice penetrates my mental fog.

I blink my way out of my thoughts, looking down at the dining room table. When did I get here?

In front of me sits a delicious-looking chicken parmesan dish, and Christian is holding up a forkful ofit in front of my mouth.

I reach out to take the fork, and slowly start to eat.

As I'm chewing, I attempt to think about all the s**t I've been missing. Responsibilities I've beenneglecting while I've been off in Lalaland.

“I'm sorry,” I whisper as soon as I'm full. I look up to make eye contact with Christian, who'sfurrowing his eyebrows.

"For what, baby?" I sniff.

“For failing you. For being out of it the last few days. I'm so f*****g sorry.”

And I genuinely am. I know that I'm going through S**t that no human should have to go through. Iknow I'm having a stupid difficult time with everything around me right know, and I know that thereare hundreds of people targeting me and wanting to either kill or use me. But that doesn't excuseme being out of it.

I lean in, pecking Christian on the lips before standing up. “Where are you going?” he asks, standingwith me. I offer him a smile. “To see our babygirl.” His grin pretty much lights up the room as hefollows me towards Meda's room.

I wipe away a tear of my own as I offer her a big smile. She looks at me, tears welling up in her eyes,and I realize. She assumed 1 abandoned her. Just like mom and dad did when they passed. God, 1f****d up. I'm gonna have to spend a lot more time with her to make up for the last few days.

Meda tentatively glances at me before holding up her hands in a gesture letting me know that shewants to be held. I smile widely at her.

"Anything for my babygirl,” I say, picking her up. As soon as I have her in my arms, the tension seepsfrom her limbs and she rests her head on my chest. “Her sleeping schedule has been off for the fivedays you were out.” I freeze. Five days? I thought it was two, max! f**k me...

“She's been giving the nanny a difficult time, and she'll only respond so much to Erebus, Damonand I while you're not there.”

T hear two pairs of footsteps come into the room, and turn around to see that Damon and Erebushave arrived.

“frig hell, it's good to have you back,” Damon whispers. Both he and Erebus are looking at Medaand I with adoration.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I totally checked out. I just... I guess I felt like it would be stupid for meto say anything since I know that all of you have seen way worse.”

Erebus steps closer to me, carefully wrapping his arms around me-making sure he doesn't smotherlittle Meda. “Please talk to us next time. Vent, scream, yell, anything other than shutting down. It'sbeen hell without you.”

peck him on the lips. “I promise I'll talk to you next time.” Because I'm positive there will be a nexttime.